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be prepared, its a bit long.
my boyfriend have been going out for about 5 months. he's amazing. it was actually one of those best friends for life, turned love, things er whatever. but the thing is: he has jealousy issues like no other. he always tells me that guys are flirting with me, and he doesn't like it. i admit, i do flirt with guys, but its my nature. i grew up with guys. and i dont see flirting like most people do. i know its bad, but i cant seem to get it through my boyfriend's head that i only like him. and not anyone else. i try to explain i dont mean to flirt. but he just says 'okay' in that sarcastic, i know he's lying sort of way. and to top it all off. he 'flirts' with other girls too. if he wants to say that i do. but i know he doesnt mean it.
[bt the way, "flirting" in the sense. would be me pushing a guy. or pretending to throw him in the water. or the definition of childish flirting. i'm not even talking about like, kissing other guys or anything]
..and i definitly don't want to screw things up with the one guy that i dont have any problems with [well, besdies this].
so, im asking.
could anyone give advice on how i could possibly.
try to stop "flirting" with people.
or how to get it through his head, that i dont mean to.
because i think he only partially believes me. (Indeed)
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Look, I'll tell you right now that you are going to hate my answer to this.
The best solution you have? Stop dating him.
Overly jealous guys are always going to be overly jealous guys, no matter how hard to try to change them. And believe me, it will only get worse.
If you really just refuse to break up with him, then it's possible that you could ease the tension between you two by outlining exactly what you BOTH consider flirting. Tell him that he is suffering some trust issues, and if he can't trust you, why is he still with you? And how can you trust him if he cannot put trust in you?
Another method is to just tell him flat out that you have guys friends and there is nothing he can do to stop you from being friends with whomever you wish. Tell him that if he can't accept the way you act, then you can't be together. Chances are if you give him that kind of ultimatum, he'll try to stop saying the things about flirting. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean he'll stop thinking them. As I said before, people don't often change much and you need to think about whether you can continue to deal with this, especially if you have to inevitably deal with the situation getting worse and more of your life being influenced by the guy.
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thanks.
i dont think i'll stop dating him.
but i will tell him that i'm friends with who i want to be friends with. |
(Yarr) |
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