|
jealousy.
be prepared, its a bit long.
my boyfriend have been going out for about 5 months. he's amazing. it was actually one of those best friends for life, turned love, things er whatever. but the thing is: he has jealousy issues like no other. he always tells me that guys are flirting with me, and he doesn't like it. i admit, i do flirt with guys, but its my nature. i grew up with guys. and i dont see flirting like most people do. i know its bad, but i cant seem to get it through my boyfriend's head that i only like him. and not anyone else. i try to explain i dont mean to flirt. but he just says 'okay' in that sarcastic, i know he's lying sort of way. and to top it all off. he 'flirts' with other girls too. if he wants to say that i do. but i know he doesnt mean it.
[bt the way, "flirting" in the sense. would be me pushing a guy. or pretending to throw him in the water. or the definition of childish flirting. i'm not even talking about like, kissing other guys or anything]
..and i definitly don't want to screw things up with the one guy that i dont have any problems with [well, besdies this].
so, im asking.
could anyone give advice on how i could possibly.
try to stop "flirting" with people.
or how to get it through his head, that i dont mean to.
because i think he only partially believes me.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
heres the thing about flirting. when a girl notices a guy is flirting with her, shell think "aww how cute" when a guy notices a girl is flirting with him, hell think "finally! somebody wants to do me!"
the first step to trying to get over the issue? you need to understand where he is coming from. guys are instinctively jelous of their girlfriend's male friends. now, that of course does not mean they should do anything about it, they definitely shouldnt, you should just understand where thats coming from. now, by you flirting with the guys, you are compounding that emotion. you should talk to him about it, explain why you act the way you do, and try to get something better than a sarcastic response out of him. there is an old addage "if you do not accept my friends, then you do not accept me" now, in most cases, this is used when one person has a problem with say, their significant other being friends with an asshole/bitch of the same gender, but, it does apply to this situation as well.
i have many female friends, i am sometimes flirtatious as well, and its something i bring up in the begening of the dating stage to make sure it wont be a problem later on down the line.
]
Let him know that hes special, and that hes something set apart from all those other guys...that doesnt mean you have to ignore all other guys, just that, say, when your kidding around with other guys and your bf shows up, or after your done talking to the other guys, go over and kiss him, or cuddle, or tell him you love him or whatever you think will let him know that even though you know other guys, that he is YOUR guy, and that hes the only one. that hes special to you. introduce him to people as your boyfriend. dont be scared to kiss him in front of your friends (guys or not). just constantly remind him that he is something special to you, and that he has nothing to be jealous of the other guys about.
]
it sounds like this boy of yours has self esteem issues. Try complimenting him and making him feel special. it's not always the guys that have to be nice, try something romantic. see how he acts.
]
your boyfriend probably gets jealous because he doesn't like you flirting and you continue to do it. i think you should stop.
]
Dear Jealousy,
I think that you need to get it through your head that you can't flirt with other guys maybe sometimes you don't mean to but you are taken and you need to know that you can't flirt until you break up. I think he isn't jealous but if he is he has a right to be because you are flirting with other guys. Not trying to be mean I am trying to make a point. Hear me out, would you like it if your boyfriend flirts with other girls? I dont think you would and I think that is exactly how he is feeling, like his loved on is kinda sorta cheating on him because she is flirting with other people. I hope I helped nicely not rudely!!
<3Alli
]
you should try to spend more time with yer boyfriend then those guys that you flirt with.
that way the person that yer most likely to flirt with.. is yer boyfriend.
]
in my opinion I think you should stop flirting with boys since your boyfriend does not like that. Im telling you this because I went through the same thing until I told myself I would not like my men to be flirting with girls so I should stop flirting with guys.
ALso A way to stop flirting with guys is by hang out more with your boyfriend or any of your friends that are girls
I hope I helped
]
Look, I'll tell you right now that you are going to hate my answer to this.
The best solution you have? Stop dating him.
Overly jealous guys are always going to be overly jealous guys, no matter how hard to try to change them. And believe me, it will only get worse.
If you really just refuse to break up with him, then it's possible that you could ease the tension between you two by outlining exactly what you BOTH consider flirting. Tell him that he is suffering some trust issues, and if he can't trust you, why is he still with you? And how can you trust him if he cannot put trust in you?
Another method is to just tell him flat out that you have guys friends and there is nothing he can do to stop you from being friends with whomever you wish. Tell him that if he can't accept the way you act, then you can't be together. Chances are if you give him that kind of ultimatum, he'll try to stop saying the things about flirting. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean he'll stop thinking them. As I said before, people don't often change much and you need to think about whether you can continue to deal with this, especially if you have to inevitably deal with the situation getting worse and more of your life being influenced by the guy.
]
More Questions: |