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I have a problem that doesn't sound like a problem to anyone, which makes it hard to seek advice from anyone I know.
I have really big penis, thickness more than length, and this causes me a lot of problems in my love life. I have hurt some of my partners without meaning to, buying condoms is nigh impossible as they are far too constricting being designed for a slimmer girth, with more 'dainty' partners oral is difficult and other things are simply out of the question.
Some women find it intimidating enough that they won't even sleep with me or we get to that stage and then they back away or don't want to see me any more.
Talking to friends is impossible, most guys think there can't be a problem and talking to female friends about it hasn't gone well with fits of giggles or accusations that I'm boasting somehow.
I've tried lubricant, I've ordered larger size condoms online but they tend to be longer as well as thicker and don't fit right. Is surgery an option?
I'm entering into a much longer term relationship and I want to make sure I'm not imposing on or hurting my partner as much as possible.
Please help, I'm at my wit's end. (link)
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This is a tough one.
There's very little information online about penile reduction surgery; so little, in fact, that it's not clear if a reputable, standardized form of the surgery exists. In fact, I'm almost positive that it doesn't, although naturally you should check with your doctor.
There are several sites which are obviously run by quacks, but the last thing you want to do is put your penis in the hands of a quack, of course! Particularly not one with a knife.
I don't know if you've ever had surgery before, but you REALLY don't want to take a chance if you can avoid it. You could end up a lot worse off than you are now.
There is, of course, one kind of penile reduction surgery that's been around for a long time: circumcision. But of course the effect would be minor at best, and if you're already circumcised, that option isn't available to you anyway. Circumcision would certainly cost you some nerve endings and sensation, too.
I should warn you that there are many sleazy operators selling all sorts of penile reduction products online; creams, pills, that sort of thing. NONE OF THEM WORK, and some of them could cause you serious harm.
That said, you already tried some of the other options I thought of.
Lubricant can only help - the more the better. Make sure to apply it to both of you. You might try different types; some kinds may work better than others for you.
Take things slow - the slower the better. That gives your partner a chance to stretch and adapt.
You can find a remarkably broad selection of condoms online.
Some of them even claim to be customized:
http://www.condomania.com/tf_gateway.asp
They actually have a measuring kit; I imagine it would be expensive, but it's worth a try.
Lastly, if your partner is on top, she'll be able to control the depth of penetration and avoid hurting herself. That might also help her to relax, which should make things easier for both of you.
Over time her body will adapt on a more permanent basis. Good luck!
FOLLOWUP: Condomania does mail order overseas; their number from outside the US is 1-323-930-5330. Of course I cannot guarantee that they ship to your country (I've never been a customer), but it seems quite likely. And of course you can email them directly with a query.
I imagine that a slightly tighter than normal condom (for your size, that is), combined with lubricant, might offer some improvement over the status quo.
The first thing to do, in any case, is speak to your doctor.
Good luck.
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Rating: 4
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Thanks for the advice. Little more feedback though.
Customised condoms are available but only, it seems so far, in the US. Which isn't so good for me. Condoms also make one thicker which doesn't help either! Having the woman on top is good advise for someone with length problems but for me it's breadth and penetration is the hard part.
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