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Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also. I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.
If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
advice
ok.. so my boyfriend looks at porn. ive never had a problem with porn with any other guy ive been with, but lately its been getting to me. I just cant bare the thought of my boyfriend fantasizing about other women. even worse; their bodies are perfect && mine are far from it and i just dont want him comparing me to them. So my question is:
-Is it ok for me to feel this way?
-Is looking at porn considered cheating to some people?
-Should i say something to my boyfriend
-If so what?
(hes very stubborn)
Porn tends to be a big issue for a lot of people. Personally, I've never had a problem with it. The way I look at is that they can look, but not touch. As long as the porn doesn't start affecting my relationship, it's okay with me.
It's completely normal for you to feel the way you do. A lot of women do feel self-conscious and wonder if their partners are comparing them to porns. When it starts bothering you, try to remember that the chances of your boyfriend actually meeting these porn stars are next to none. Also, remember that he chose you for a reason so obviously he's attracted to you as well.
Some people do consider looking at porn cheating. Personally, I don't. After all, they're not really interacting with the porn stars or touching. It's something you have to decide for yourself.
Since it bothers you, I think you should say something about it. Try to do it in a calm and tactful manner. Avoid "You always..." and "You never..." statements. I've found that avoiding these kind of statements and saying "This makes me feel..." works better. I wouldn't suggest demanding that he doesn't watch porn at all. Most likely he'll refuse. I would try to work out a compromise somehow that makes you both happy.
(Rating: 5) thank you very much =] =]