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Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also. I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.
If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
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I am 13 and my sister is 28, married and has 1 child. She is very clean, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke (Anymore). But she is depressed. She is in debt, and her husband is never home because of his job. He is a truck driver, so it's usually her and her baby which is 2 years old.
Every week that her husbands not home I have to go spend the night with her. It feels like a second home. One night, not to long ago, I went to her house to spend the night (of course) and she was crying. I asked her why and she started to tell me but didn't and I took it as if she was depressed or that she was alone and afraid because I wasn't there.
People have tried to steal things from her and her husband many times. Her neightbor thinks they sell drugs and take the money to buy all of the things she has. Which isn't true of course. She's in debt. My sister and I have never argued. I like to make her laugh because it makes me feel good that she can accually have fun.
Another thing is her weight. She's shorter than me and she is a little chubby. Everytime she see's herself in old photos she says she wishes she could look like that. One night I didn't want to spend the night with her and my mom made me go. The next day I found out that she was crying because she thought that I wasn't comming out. I really don't know what to do anymore. Can anyone offer any help?
First of all, she needs to report the attempted thefts if she hasn't done so already. It isn't right that they're stealing from her just because they think she has money. If she doesn't do something to stop it, it's probably going to keep happening.
My dad was a trucker and my husband works 80-90 hours a week so I can understand your sister's loneliness. Encourage her to meet some new friends. A good place to start would be the wives of the other truckers. If the child is in a playgroup, she can also try getting to know the other mothers. If she has childcare, volunteer work may also be an option.
Since she's upset about her weight, encourage her to exercise. Walking is great exercise and easy to do, even with a small child. Just grab a stroller for the little one and go for a walk around the block.
For the debt problem, she may want to consider a credit counseling agency. Many of them are nonprofit and can help her work out a budget so she can get out of debt. Check your local yellow pages to see what your town offers.
Let your mom know about your sister if you haven't already. She may be able to offer some help to your sister, even if it's just babysitting so your sister can have a girl's night out.
(Rating: 5) She has reported it to the police. Sadly we have a poor police agency here so all they do is come to her house and check things out and leave. We also live in the country so there arn't really any blocks here and their is probably 97% of people here is druggies and the other half is stuck up so...you know.