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I hate to place such a long babblement on you, but I've always approved of your advice, so here goes.
Okay, so the issue at hand is essentially this: I like a guy, and he appears to like me. Or at least, he did.
My roommate kinda had a thing for this guy. But I started hanging out with him because we had a lot in common, and he sort of developed a crush on me. I hate to admit it, but my feelings for him kinda grew and I developed a pretty mutual crush on him.
He and I fooled around a little, I admit, but here's where it gets complicated.
He came to the dorm one time while my roommate was there, and we ended up laying on my bed talking.
My roommate proceeded to throw things at us and wholly piss us both off. She hit ME in the head at one point, and her friend was trying to get her to stop.
Since then, nothing has really happened with me and this guy.
I think he stopped because he doesn't want to deal with my roommate. Every single one of our friends, both his and mine, think there's more than just friendship between us.
Even our theory teacher, I think, knows something. We've come into class together a few times, we talk all the time, we're always the last to leave...
My issue is kind of this: On one hand, I'd like to continue whatever me and this guy have going...but I don't want it to escalate into a relationship because he's a good friend and I'm worried about losing the friendship.
So I guess my question is what should I do about this? Should I just let it go? I hate to admit that I'm attracted to him, but I am. My roommate is "kind of dating" someone else, so that's not a problem, really (it shouldn't be). I guess what I want is kind of a friends with benefits kind of thing, without it getting too complicated...
My first instinct is to talk to him about it, but I'm not sure that would pan out too well.
What do you think? (Indeed)
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The problem with friends with benefits is that it indeed, is bound to get complicated. I honestly believe that even if you outline rules beforehand such as "no attachments" and whatnot, someone always seems to get attached, and that's when it turns ugly. Also, you mentioned that you wouldn't want to pursue a relationship because it would put your friendship at risk, but I think that casual fooling around with one another/other friends with benefits enjoyment would be more damaging and "weirding out" of your friendship than a relationship, because at least there, you would know where each of you stand. In my entirely humble opinion, I believe you should decide whether you like him enough to pursue a relationship beyond friendship, or stay friends, without the complications of benefits. Don't go halfsies, because I really think it will end up messy. You should consider choosing friendship or boyfriend, not the in between.
If you're afraid or unwilling to make the commitment of a relationship right now in your life - stay friends only, at least until you are ready to delve into something more.
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Point taken. I may end up with the friends thing, especially since I just got out of a long-term thing and don't think it's right for me to jump into something just yet. Thank you =) |
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