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Hi. I have a boyfriend who I love very much and trust with everything and anything. I've recently been trying to come to terms with a past relationship that I should never have started in the first place, because I had no real attraction to him. I want to discuss this with my current boyfriend, because I want him to know that I feel differently about him, but I'm not exactly sure how to bring it up. Any advice would be much appreciated!
First off, does your currect boyfriend know your ex, and did he know the two of you when you were dating? or did he at least know you?
The only reason I'm asking that, is because, if he didn't know your ex, and didn't know you at the time, then I don't know if it would be a good idea to talk about it. I don't think you should be "comparing" him to any other guys in any way, even though he would come out on top. It's hard for me to explain why I feel this way, I just don't think it's good to give him a reason to think about you and your ex in any way.
You should tell him that he is the best person in your life, and that you feel more for him than you've ever felt for anyone else, blah blah, but you shouldn't bring your ex into it with him.
I'm sort of in the same situation, where I'm with a great guy, and I have been trying to come to terms with an ex who made me feel like shit, and still does sometimes. I thought about talking to my current boyfriend about this, but I don't think he should have to deal with him even knowing that this guy is bothering me. It's my problem that I have to deal with on my own. I'm getting over it by saying goodbye and cutting all terms and throwing away old stuff that might have been from him.
I will always be bothered by my ex in a way, but it's not something that I want my current boyfriend to be bothered by.
On the other hand, if he did know you when you were dating your ex, and he saw how horrible the relationship was, then you might have some things to explain about it. Like "I don't know why the relationship started because I was never really attracted to him"
In that case, you just need to let him know that there's some things you need to get off your chest. It doesn't have to be that akward.
But, again... this kind of converstaion might be better with a best friend at first. It might be good for you to talk to someone else just to get yoru thoughts straight, and then appraoch your boyfriend about it.
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(Rating: 5)
Best advice I've gotten. Thanks :)
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