BeautifulMadness's advice column

okay i have a major problem

my school has the biggest clique system EVER....like you wouldn't believe how many cliques there are. Its such a big deal....and its really get on my nerves to the point where I can't concentrate on my school work and my grades are slipping. This is because I'm at the bottom of the pit I only have a few friends (1 or 2) but still I wish I had more and theres a certain group that I would like to make friends with and they seem nice but I'm soo shy and people say I'm one of the shyest girls in the grade and that I hardly speak. I know I should speak more but its hard for me and I think I have social anxiety. Please help as high school is starting next year and I don't know whether to switch schools or change my image at the school I am going to (the school I am at has the grades pre-k till 12th). Also my school is one of the best schools in the nation and that is another reason why I am having a tough time deciding whether to leave it simply because of the cliques. I heard someone call me a reject and a loser at school....and to be honest I am a reject, but I know I'm not a loser. Please help, thank you sooo much!!

Hey,
my school is totally like that - one of the best in the country, I mean - and I'm always wanting to leave it, but you've just gotta think what it would look like when you apply for a job - 'so and so went to ------- school but quit'. D'ya know what I mean?
Stick with it and be strong :)
About the cliques...people always want to be in one of them to feel more accepted, but trust me it's not as great as it sounds. The people in these cliques are generally pretty nasty and have put a lot of people down to get to where they are. I'm betting that you and your 1 or 2 friends are REAL friends - you'd never get that in clique. If you did something wrong and they could use it to their advantage, they would. You're better off out of them!
If you're really concerned about this social anxiety, I would contact your school counsellor and s/he could help put you in the right direction, just remember that there's nothing wrong in being shy! Also, check out this website, it has some tips on how to be more confident -- http://www.ivillage.co.uk/relationships/famfri/emotwb/articles/0,,161285_659878-1,00.html?nlcid=c|481,10740

-- it's mainly relationship stuff, but it has some pretty good general stuff in there too.

Just always remember that the 'popular' people are just as nervous as you are a lot of the time - they've just learnt how to hide it.
And you are most definately NOT a loser or a reject, so don't let anyone ever tell you so! Anyone who does is most likely just jealous of the fact that you are a real person with real friends and you're free to be yourself - these 'popular' people in the cliques have to wear a mask 24/7. Do you really want to be part of that?
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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(Rating: 5) thanks a lot hun i really appreciate it =)

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