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It's another crazy year in my world of entropy. I am engaged now and very excited. It will be a little while before we can get married due to money constraints, but it will happen.
I like things simple. I hope to give honest and useful advice. I don't believe in giving answers just to get good feedback. 98% of all questions put in my inbox will be answered. The only ones I don't answer are those too young to be here or too obscene/disrespectful. I don't know everything, but I think I can help a lot.

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Gender: Female
Location: AL
Age: 33
Yahoo: chaosd
Member Since: November 6, 2003
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Last Update: November 25, 2009
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I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with my boyfriend lately. I've been with him almost 6 years and we have 1 child together, our 1 year old son. My boyfriend is usually an all around nice guy who is family oriented and fun to be with. He is a dedicated worker and family man. But lately he seems self-destructive. Keep in mind he works two jobs so he is working 17 hours 5 days a week which he's been doing over a year now. He gets NO sleep, maybe 2 hours a night. That could be what's getting to him. But he is unwilling to make a change. I told him he either needs depression medication or a job change or both. So he's been extremely mean to me lately, turning everything I say upside down and picking fights with me in front of our son. He seems to not be caring about anything and he's so cold and hard inside. I prefer not to say exactly what, but he's been getting into something substance related, he's having like a relapse of our old party days or something, he's got the wrong friends. He actually took something out in front of our child and I had to pull him from his high chair and take him in the other room. He's like, "what, he doesn't know what's going on." and I'm like, "it' doesn't matter it's the act." Also, he smokes cigarettes and I hate cigarettes and we have an agreement not to smoke in the house. But he's been smoking in here anyway after I go to bed. I don't believe me and my child should have to suffer for his bad habit, he should take it outside. He knows my wishes but goes behind my back anyways. He would normally never do this. I'm not a mean girlfriend, just a good mother. So this is totally not normally him and I don't understand what is happening here. All he does is bitch about life and say how he's going to die early and stuff and I'm so sick of it now. He never wants to do anything anymore with us as family. I don't want our son growing up in this environment, but also, I really love and care about my boyfriend and know that something deep inside him is really wrong and I would hate to turn my back on him, but am tempted to kick him the fuck out, he's really pressing my buttons, it's like he's seeing how far I will go with this. Also, our sex life is nothing to complain about, just so you know. Is this something we may be able to get passed or is this an ending he has created and he's going to lose everything that's good in his life? I know it's up to him to make a change, but how much should I take? Once it's over with us, that's it, it's over, that's why I am putting off the end until whatever sets me off, sets me off. Please help.

He sounds like the responsiblity of keeping his family is really stressing him out. Both of you need counseling now. If he won't go, you go anyway. If you can afford to go to work and help it out that might help; but he is doing everything to get you to get rid of him, and it's working. Have you tried talking to him to see if you can do anything to make him feel better? Losing sleep, doing drugs, and working all the time are definitely not good. It's like he is trying to be gone as much as is possible.

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