icey0990's

advice column

about

advice

im the only child in my family, my mom got a miscarriage back in 1997, since then im the only target in my family of my mom's naggings. my dad is hardly at home, he works to get the income coming. i dont have a close social bond with my dad because of this, but i feel somehow mentally me and dad clicked. with mom, all she does is say something to pissed the heck outta me, i'll just go to my room, stay there forever till she wants to talk again. i duno why shes acting like such a a**, and whenever i have a problem i duno who to turn to but my bestfriend. otherwise its me sitting next to problems like these. my mom doesnt even bother to find out whats going on in my life, she doesnt act like she cares or wants to be included. she simply doesnt bother. she doesnt allow me to have a boyfriend, im not even allowed to TALK about guys infront of her. dun tell me to talk to her, she wouldnt listen to me. is there other ways that u could help me? much appreciated -Rei

How about talking to your dad aboout it? Maybe after you do that he`ll talk to ur mom. If not...maybe family conseling is good. dont worry..its not a horrible thing..my friend went through family counseling and now things are better with her family. Im sorry your mom is acting this way and i hope everything works out.
-melissa-

[view]

okay.. i dont really know how to explain this, but im gonna try my best!.. im so sorry. but its gonna be long!

I've like this guy for awhile now, and before i even realized i had these feelings for him.. we had become friends. Well, the thought never even crossed my mind before that he might like me as more than a friend. But i would notice little things... like whenever i was with my friends and he was with his, he would alwayz be looking at me and then he would alwayz make a point to come over and talk with ME and my friends. and omg whenever we would talk or whatever he had the biggest kutest smile on.. and he would get nervous around me... and i would get nervous around him too, it was so obvious.. lol. well he left our school.. and i hadnt seen him in awhile.. we just talked online.. but he came to one of our school events, and i had gotten mad at him for something like the day before.. so i didnt say hi or anything... but he was staring at me the whole time like he was sad cuz i didnt come and say hi and all these other people had... but then me n my friend had to go on stage and do our little act thing.. and it was so kute!... he left his big group that he was in and him n his friend came running up to us and told us how good we did.. even though i hadnt said hi to him or anything.. so then we talked for awhile.. and when i had to leave he came n found me and gave me the best hug and told me he was sorry and he wanted to talk to me more... which i think he wanted me to call him.. becuz normally he wouldnt call girls.. they had to call him before he would call them. BUT anyways.. im so sorry this is sooo long... lol but yah.. he went off to military school.. and when he came back... he was so different.. and i know it could change you and everything, but normally it would help you... but he just seemed like mean and stuff... but we talked a little.. and then we kinda stopped talking.. but i am so much in love with him!... and i kant get him out of my head... i at least want to be friends with him.. but ive tried talking to him online.. and he never answerz me or anything... and i dont want to call him cuz thatd be weird.. i actually dont know what my question is now... lol hold on lemme think.. okay, i guess im asking.. do you think i should just forget about him.. and if so do you have any tips?? becuz ive tried everything.. and now i guess i kind of feel like im annoying him or something... but i realli am in love with him... so wut should i do??... im tired of trying to even just be his friend...

ok...i would talk to him online one last time and say something like..." do you like me? because i like you...and just tell me now if u do because if u dont im just gona move on..." this will get a definate answer from him so you`ll know...i know its gutsy...but go for it!
If this doesnt work or if you decide to move on...just start lookin at guys in school and see what they have to offer..who knows ..maybe mr. right is in your school...start checkin out hot guys at the malll or w/e..that will def. get ur mind off him. Keep in mind if it doesnt happen..then it wasnt meant to be.
Good luck i hope it works out between u and him!

-melissa-

[view]

how do you get rid of body odors done therE?

i dont think you can...just wash yourself or w/e down there...make sure you dont have a yeast infection because sometimes, not always, when you have an odor down there you might have an infection. drop one in my box if you wanna ask anything else!
-melissa

[view]

how do i tell a friend that i think im to old to hang out wit them in the nicest possibleway??? plese help!

I think telling them straight out might be hurtful. Maybe your friend will catch on if you get a friend of yours...who also talks to this friend..to bring up you as a subject and say " i think (your name) is gettin kinda old to chill with you.." Your friend should catch on.
Its a tough situation..good luck! :)
-melissa-

[view]

I like this new kid at school a lot its taken forever to have new people come and hes really hott! We have a lot of fun together and he is my neighbors best freind... so i talk to him wenever i talk to my neighbor n stuff... and hes soo funny and nice, but i dont think he really likes me "that way" like when we're around eachother hes soo funnny and sweet... but i think that he likes one of my other friends and i think she sorta likes him and that makes really mad as happy as i should be for the two of them it makes me mad especially considering im the one that intorduced them... if i would have known they were gonna swoon i would have never done it! But what do u think i should do about him should just continue talking to him or should i like tell him or what? please help!

Hey, what have you got to lose? I would tell him you like him..before he gets involved with your friend. If he gets involved with your friend, you wont have your chance. So tell him u like him..and if he doesnt like you back jus be cool with it and dont let it make your friendship awkward. Dont lose this guy as a friend..he sounds awesome! :)
-melissa-

[view]

my friend is going out with the guy i like i dont want to tell her that i like him cause then she will think oh u just like him cause i do ( she is like that ) what should i do?

This is only me..but if it was me in your position.. i wouldnt even tell her about it. I mean shes your friend, right? So why start trouble...guys can break friendships up..she might get the wrong idea..who knows.
If it was a good enough friend..i might tell her..you can word it like "your lucky to have such a great bf.. i wish i could have someone like him" but i think telling her might make her feel insecure ..maybe wait til they`ve been going out for awhile.
-melissa- :)

[view]

What does 69 mean?? and what does it mean to be 'wet'?

69 is when a guy and girl are giving each other oral sex at the same time. One of them lays on top and gives oral sex and the other lays on their back and gives it to the person laying over them. "Wet" is the term used when a girl gets hornt oe sexually excited
-melissa- :)

[view]

I know this is going to be long, so sorry. But I will rate you high even if you answer!!

Well, I have a feeling that I could be a lesbian. And it's really difficult and I know that I'm going to have to wait and see if I actually am. The thing is I feel so much more comfortable around girls, and I actually have my eye on this one girl from my school. But the thought of getting married to a girl and not a guy makes me feel sick. And I just get this feeling when I'm around guys like Wow i'm so embarassed/nervous, But then I get this feeling like ohh YAY i'm so glad im here when I'm with girls. It's just everytime I like a guy, I only like him for like a week. Is there a chance I could be lesbian, or do you think it's just a phase? Please help!!

how long as the feeling been going on for? I think its only a phase. When you meet a great guy and start talking to him..the other feelings will go away. I think you just really want a relationship right now..dont worry..mr. right will come along. Your feeling comfortable around girls because their your friends and every girl feels a lil more comfortable around girls. If it keepss up with you..then theres a chance you may be a bi or a lesbian..but thats ok! People are much more accepting these days of gays then ever before..so i think you`ll be fine.
-dont worry about it..just keep living your life and you`ll naturally discover if you are or not
hope i helped!
:) melissa

[view]

Hey! And thanks ahead of time ^_^ Might as well get the usual stuff out. I'm an 18 year old female from Chicagoland and I have a boyfriend (*gasp shock*) named Marc who is 21.

Marc and I met about 3 years ago online, and even though we lived rather close, we didn't meet up until June of last year. We started dating theoretically (meaning we were open to each other about having feelings for each other, but were both in relationships) in January of this year, and officially dating in March. We've been together since then, have never had a single serious fight. In addition to being each other's lovers, we're also best friends.

We've never had any problems to date, though we both knew in August, I was going off to college about 5-6 hours away, and he was spending a semester in... Japan. We both knew it was going to be hard, but that we loved each other enough so that it would not be a problem.

The night before both of us left, we talked about *dundundun* our future together, namely, marriage. We both agreed that we are definagtely not ready for marriage, but would like to establish SOME kind of future.

When Marc gets back from Japan in December, he goes back to his own college (all the way ibn Minnesota T_T), but after that, he graduates in May. He has plans to go to Grad School, but wants to save up some money first, so he was planning on taking off school for a couple years and work to save. To make a long story short, we decided upon him moving down here to where I go to college and getting an apartment that both of us can pay rent on and live together.

Now here is where the advice comes in. Marc and I truly believe thsi is the right thing to do. We've lived together before (in his house at college for a couple weeks in April of this year, and on and off throughout the summer), so we know each other's quirks and that we're compatible and whatnot. We both love and trust each other enough. BUT, I would really appareciate an outsider's opinion of things.

Also, although my parents met and love Marc, I don't know how they'd feel about me living with him, and I'm pretty much deathly afraid to bring it up to them. Any ideas on how to do this to make it easier?

Sorry this is so long, and thank you again!

Hey..it sounds like you know what your getting into and your ready..so i say go for it. If it doesnt work out you can always move out, but i think you`ll do great. Just keep in mind the responsibilities , along with the fact that you wont have the house to yourself, plus having to have to deal with each others quirks as you mentioned. I think you`ve thought about all that and your good n ready.
As for bringing it up to your parents...have a one on one talk with them when marc isnt around. Maybe eat dinner with them at home or talk while sitting in the living room. Try mentioning marc...and saying.."what would you think if we moved in together..i`d like your opinion." I wouldnt rush in by saying "me and marc are getting an apartment together and i dont care what you say" lol. If you try something like the first line, an arguement is less likely to occur. IF your parents are very much against it, you have to decide if you want to move in anyway, of if you wouldnt move in because of their reaction. How bad do you want to move in? if you want it bad enough..move in anyway..i dont think your parents would disown you just because you move in with him. On a more personal note: my parents would be highly against it because if i was 18 and my bf was 21..they wouldnt want me living with someone whos legaly able to drink..but thats just them. If your parents have a major reason that really starts a fight..think if you want to move in or put it off for awhile.
-hope i helped out
-melissa- :)

[view]

tomorrow i am babysitting my little cousins ALL day. i've babysat kids before, but not babies. I am babysitting for Kaylee, who is 5, and Reilly who is 10 months. i just need some tips on changing diapers, bottles, how to handle crying, all that stuff. because i dont want to ask and sound stupid. please tell me everything you know. thanks

My specialty. I have 3 little brothers..i think i can help out!
FOR CHANGING DIAPERS : if its only urine in the diaper first of all say "thank you lord" lol..then take a wipe and wipe on the private area..(you dont want it getting irritated)
If its a #2..lay the baby on a changing table or wherever you change the baby..and dig in. Lift the legs up and wipe all of "it" up..be careful not to miss any spots because that will also irritate the baby.
Also, never leave the baby in a dirty diaper any longer than you have to..it causes diaper rashes if you wait too long.
After you`ve wiped everything up..put it in the diaper and roll the diaper up..put it in a plastic bag and dispose of it however your instructed to. Put the new diaper on (if you dont know how to do that ask the mom of the kids before she leaves because its better to show you then to tell you)..i know you dont want to ask but its your cousins ..its not a stranger..so im glad the mom will be glad to show you.

FOR CRYING: the baby cries for a reason..he/she may want attention, bottle, diaper change, or
because he/she is tired. He/she may also cry when the mom first leaves..when the baby does cry do your best to keep he/she occupied. Put on a kids show, play with the baby, hold the baby, try giving it a bottle, try putting him/her to sleep.

AS FOR BOTTLES: when the baby is hungry give the bottle and hold him/ her in your arms. Support the neck and feed the bottle to him/ her. Be sure to take the bottle out every now and then so the baby can relax and take a breath. Afterwards, pick the baby up..and pat his back gently until he burps.

my finers hurt now lol..well hope i helped..you`ll do great hun! :)
-melissa-

[view]

ok i am a freshman, and september 17 is my homecoming dance. well all of my friends are always talking about their really pretty dresses and then my om was like oh u can stay at home with mom. i dont know if she was serious or not. and even if she wasnt she would prolly make me go in a skirt that i already and wore to school and stuff like that bcuz she is like a really sporty mom and she doesnt like getting dressed up all the time, so how do i ask her like if i can go, and if i can get a dress n' stuff like that?

hey..have a daughter to mom talk and tell her how much you really want to go. If your mom says she doesnt want you going because she cant afford a nice dress ..then offer to babysit the neighbors kids or something to make money. She`ll appreciate your responsibility and hardwork.
If trust is the reason why she wants you home..tell her these are your highschool memories and you dont want to miss out..promise you`ll be safe.
Hope u convince her! :)
-melissa-

[view]

Ok well me n my bf have been goin out for 10 months today!!!!!!!!!! and i love him to death!!! well n e wayz his birthday iz in october and so iz our 1 year anniversary so i wanna get him a shirt and a CD for his birthday but wat should i do for our 1 year????

For your one year..
-maybe make him a romantic dinner...candlelit. (if you cant get your house to yourself try a friends house you can use) Have romantic music and talk about the first date, or time you met. Maybe even slow dance to the music.
- maybe take him to a "special spot " the two of ou have while hes blindfolded. It can be the place you had ur first date, first kiss, etc.
- i dont know how old you are..do you drive? If you do..drive to a romantic spot or wherever you want to go..park and just cuddle while looking up at the stars and listening to music.
-if you cant do any of these..go to the movies with him..maybe have dinner out somewhere..(pizza place, dinner, etc) and make a nice romantic evening out of it..
-one of the best presents out there is to just grab him, give him a kiss, and say "i love you" :)
Have fun! :)
-melissa-

[view]

me and my ex boyfriend were one of those couples where we were exact opposites. he was kind of "Wigger-ish" and i was moare "Skater". he would even call me a skater .. and then he'd say how much he hates them. it always affended me so he would add "Except for you" but it didnt make much of a difference. when he found out my favorite color was orange, he got all weird like "Holy fuck, you're only supposed to like black". who the hell tells their girlfriend, let alone anyone .. what colors they can like? it really pissed me off, and we broke up later that night for other reasons, and he just moved here over the summer (thats how i met him). now hes going to my school where no one knows him, and he's going to be in most of my classes. i really liked him even though we were different. and im shy around guys so i probably wont talk to him. what should i do if i want to be with him again, but keep him from treating me like shit?

Hey..being that he`s new, he`ll be looking for someone to kinda guide him on his first week or so. Work up your courage and offer to do show him around to friends and etc. , then i think it will be easier for you to get back with him. At lunch talk with him about your past relationship..ask what he thinks about giving it a second try. If you dont want to do that, just keep showing him around..you guys will get closer, have a few laughs, and hopefully one thing will lead to another. :) Good luck..!
-melissa-

[view]

if ur invited to someones birthday party and you dont realli kno them but u have talked b4 awhile ago but one of ur other frnds is frnds wit them and she told them 2 bring u .. should u get them a bday present or wat? like if its a "party" bday party, and ur not real close frnds, should u? thnx i rate

hmm..I would if it was me. Just get something thats cheap..thats fine...like even the dollor store...maybe get her a snow globe, one of those lil statue things, anything..If it was me, I would though...you dont wanna look bad or anything..and its only a couple dollors so everything works out great. Hope I helped out
-melissa- :)

[view]

ok.......theres this guy that i've been friends with benifits for a while. i've done things with him twice. the first time he said he used me but the secind time he dint bcuz he was thinkin bout askin me out. then a couple weeks later he goes out with one of my friends but still says he likes me. they broke up a couple days ago and now he wants to get together(hint hint). i like him alot, so much that i feel like im in love with him...lol. but what should i do? should i keep messin around with him or tell him that if were not gunna have a relationship then im not gunna be friends with benifits???? please help

Hey..it depends what you want. If you feel you want a relationship..then dont settle for anything else! But if your happy with just friends with benefits..then stay with that. This guy seems like he switches a lot with girls..(just what i see but i could be wrong) just be careful and dont get hurt. You should sit down and think about what you want..whether its a relationship or friends with benefits. If your comfortable with FWB then go for it..but if you want a relationship..go after it and dont back down. Dont let anyone use u hun! :) Hope I helped-melissa-

[view]

Hi, I'm 17 years old/female and i failed 10 grade AGAIN..this will be my third time taking 10 grade...only b/c i missed soo many days of school. When im at school, i get straight A's and go on honor roll. But, the school years coming up and i'm yet again in 10th grade. I'm really nervous on meeting ppl ALL over again and i have NO idea who to sit with at lunch. I'm soo scared about all this. My friends tell me that ppl will come up to me and try and be friends with me, but they didnt last year !! And, i'm not the type AT ALL to just walk up to ppl and say "can i sit wit you at lunch?" or something lyk that. So, i really don't know what to do at all. Please help me. Thanx so much «3

Hey..I think a lot of girls will find you to be a role model type because your older and you have more experience in stuff. Once you get to know some people, you`ll have no troubles! Get talking with someone who looks friendly in one of your classes..even if you just ask their name it sparks a conversation because then she asks your name..and the convo carries on. If you make friends during classes before lunch, you`ll have no problem when you go to a table. You wont have to go to a table and ask. The besy way is to make friends during morning classes then your home free :) I know i always look out for the new people because its interesting to get to know somebody new
-you`ll do great hun... ! :)
-melissa-

[view]

my ex want to go back out with me and i think i want to go back out with him to but i think all he cares about is looks and i gained 5 pounds over the summer because of a foot ingery and i dont look so great what should i do also i am 13 and female




qtpie101

if your ex wants you back then he should understand the circumstances. If he doesnt want to get back together just because of 5 dumb pounds..then thats shallow and he doesnt desserve you. 5 lbs is nothing! Just stay open about him and if you notice he isnt interested then forget him! Hope I helped..hope u 2 get back together :)
-melissa-

[view]

Hey. Well I'm going into middle school and I practicually know no one there. I am scared that I will not make any friends, and I keep getting scared over and over again just thinking about it. My school starts Aug. 23, and my orientation is tomorrow Aug. 19, and there's going to be 7th graders and new students there and the bus is picking us up. I'm pretty scared about that too, but more scared of the first day of school. Can anyone tell me how to calm down about this and give me motivation so I won't be so scared anymore, and tell me how to make friends early and quick. Thanx!, and I would really appreciate it if you answered my questions.

Hey its ok..everybody is looking to make new friends in the beginning of the new school year. I know I am and i have plenty of friends. So dont worry..lots of ppl will be looking to make new friends. People are at their friendliest in the beginning of the year. so motivate yourself by staying positive and keeping in mind that everyone will be searching for new friends also.Nothing to be afraid of! Just be friendly and open and you`ll make lots of friends!To make friends quick, spark convos with people...they`ll repsond greaT! Get those butterflys out and keep positive. Get talking about a teacher, your summer, anything..one thing will lead to another and before you know it, you`ll have great friends. Keep on the lookout for new students..they are DESPERATE for new friends and will love it if you start a convo with them..ask where they came from etc.
You`ll be great trust me! :)
-melissa-

[view]

hey !! my name's arielle and im 13 from jersey !! i have a serious problem !! ok well theres this band [not famous] and the guys in it are like 15 and 16.. and i haev a crush on one of the guys in the band.. and hes 16. the band is in pa and im in nj but we live like 6 hours apart. im gunna go to their shows tho but im worried that when i go and i meet the guy in the band i have a crush on that hes gunna think im a kid cause hes like 16 and im only 13. i feel that like hes gunna look at me as like reeeeal young and not like me in *that way*. what should i do?

He might feel that way..cuz a lot of guys want girls their age or one year younger..but hopefully he wont. If he doesnt see you for you..then it isnt worth it.Dont do anything but be yourself! :)
-melissa-

[view]

What should I do about this...me and my boyfriend were talking about college and I got upset that he wasnt goin to be going to the same college as me the first semester, he wants to start the second.So I got upset over it and then he told me to drop him off so I did at like 3ish yesterday. An hour later he shut his phone off and it has been off since. I called his sister who I'm friends with because my boyfriend didnt show up to work today (he works for my dad) and she said he didnt come home last night. She also said that him n his friend went to her work last night but his friend is on vacation 2 hours away. He could of came back to pick him up though. If he went he wont be home untill Sunday. I tried calling his friend and his friend isnt answering his phone. What should I do? I'm so upset that my boyfriend would just go away and not tell em especially when I was so upset. What should I do if I can't get a hold of him? I feel like I'm lost

I think your bf just needs some space and time to think. Let him do his "manly guy things" or w/e and give it a few days..maybe after this...he`ll be ready to talk. I think you`ll be able to get ahold of him..just give it a couple days
hope i helped
-melissa-

[view]