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living with boyfriend?
Hey! And thanks ahead of time ^_^ Might as well get the usual stuff out. I'm an 18 year old female from Chicagoland and I have a boyfriend (*gasp shock*) named Marc who is 21.
Marc and I met about 3 years ago online, and even though we lived rather close, we didn't meet up until June of last year. We started dating theoretically (meaning we were open to each other about having feelings for each other, but were both in relationships) in January of this year, and officially dating in March. We've been together since then, have never had a single serious fight. In addition to being each other's lovers, we're also best friends.
We've never had any problems to date, though we both knew in August, I was going off to college about 5-6 hours away, and he was spending a semester in... Japan. We both knew it was going to be hard, but that we loved each other enough so that it would not be a problem.
The night before both of us left, we talked about *dundundun* our future together, namely, marriage. We both agreed that we are definagtely not ready for marriage, but would like to establish SOME kind of future.
When Marc gets back from Japan in December, he goes back to his own college (all the way ibn Minnesota T_T), but after that, he graduates in May. He has plans to go to Grad School, but wants to save up some money first, so he was planning on taking off school for a couple years and work to save. To make a long story short, we decided upon him moving down here to where I go to college and getting an apartment that both of us can pay rent on and live together.
Now here is where the advice comes in. Marc and I truly believe thsi is the right thing to do. We've lived together before (in his house at college for a couple weeks in April of this year, and on and off throughout the summer), so we know each other's quirks and that we're compatible and whatnot. We both love and trust each other enough. BUT, I would really appareciate an outsider's opinion of things.
Also, although my parents met and love Marc, I don't know how they'd feel about me living with him, and I'm pretty much deathly afraid to bring it up to them. Any ideas on how to do this to make it easier?
Sorry this is so long, and thank you again!
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It seems like you've both put alot of thought into this decision. I think you should give it a shot. You are both mature adults and ya'll are going into this with your eyes wide open.
I hope everything works out.
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u should b sorry it wuz so long.. no1 wants to read long shit u idiot..
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I think its great how both of you have your lives well planned out, and its good to hear you have such a good relationship. =). Hope it lasts. But on to your question. You say that both of you are ready and have made up your minds and trust each other and knoq quirks and whatnot, which is definitely a plus...duh. And I hope that if you two ever have a serious arguement it doesn't lead to someone getting asked to leave the apartment.
Just had to say that for some reason. But moving on, when you tell your parents, maybe you should have Marc around too. Tell them that both of you are mature adults and you've thought this out well. Explain to them and tell them how much you trust each other. And besides, you say that they love Marc, so I think that that will help things a lot.
Well, good luck and I hope things continue to work well for you!
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I would talk to your parents about when they were younger and when they moved in together.Maybe that way it can break the ice a little bit if your a lil worried about telling them.But it seems like you know what your doing and the possibilities and concequences for your actions.Hope everything works out for the best!
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Hey.. i'd say do it.. you both seem to be in love with eachother but not ready for marriage.. so try living together for a while and see how it works out.. i'm sure it'll be great if you've never gotten into a fight yet. and if your parents know how deeply in love you are with him, then they shouldn't mind you living with him.. and if they do, just talk to them about it, and it is your life and your an adult now so you can make your own choices.. just make sure that you know what your getting yourself into... alright, hope i helped a little.. bye!
<3 Nikki
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Hey..it sounds like you know what your getting into and your ready..so i say go for it. If it doesnt work out you can always move out, but i think you`ll do great. Just keep in mind the responsibilities , along with the fact that you wont have the house to yourself, plus having to have to deal with each others quirks as you mentioned. I think you`ve thought about all that and your good n ready.
As for bringing it up to your parents...have a one on one talk with them when marc isnt around. Maybe eat dinner with them at home or talk while sitting in the living room. Try mentioning marc...and saying.."what would you think if we moved in together..i`d like your opinion." I wouldnt rush in by saying "me and marc are getting an apartment together and i dont care what you say" lol. If you try something like the first line, an arguement is less likely to occur. IF your parents are very much against it, you have to decide if you want to move in anyway, of if you wouldnt move in because of their reaction. How bad do you want to move in? if you want it bad enough..move in anyway..i dont think your parents would disown you just because you move in with him. On a more personal note: my parents would be highly against it because if i was 18 and my bf was 21..they wouldnt want me living with someone whos legaly able to drink..but thats just them. If your parents have a major reason that really starts a fight..think if you want to move in or put it off for awhile.
-hope i helped out
-melissa- :)
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