I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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Guys are nice to me And if I ask them out they say sorry. That is about it. What should I do to make guys like me and not say that I am stupid? I am a 13 year old female. I am the onlyone in my grade that hasn't ever had a boyfriend. (link)
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In many ways you're lucky you haven't had one at your age or younger. Boys are immature at your age and don't know whether they want a girlfriend or to be playing with action figures the next moment.
No doubt your friends have experienced a lot of grief and range of happy/sad emotions because of that. You can bet that none of the relationships really lasted or was meaningful for them.
You aren't missing much yet. You're ahead of most boys maturity wise and intellectually right now. One thing that's dead WRONG about what you're doing is asking them out yourself.
If people see a pattern developing where you try that they'll think you're desperate and or insincere and just want any old guy.
What you need to do is strengthen your social skills which I think may be the biggest issue for people saying no or avoiding you and start caring more about yourself and value yourself and be confident in who you are.
If you're coming across as unconfident or thinking nobody likes me or wants to date me they'll see it in body language and your eyes and back away. Ask your mother, sister, aunts or trusted females about this and for tips in attracting the type of person you want.
You need to know that at 13 not many girls are dating even if it seems that they are and that none are having lasting relationships at this stage. Don't feel left out as your time will come. You can make sure it's with the right person. If you date someone 14-15-years-old you might find someone right for you.
The only other thing that can sink your chances is your personal appearance, dress, manners and hygiene aside from that sooner or later you'll snag the right guy and the wait will be worth it.
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what does it mean to pop someone's cherry (link)
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In generations long past they used to believe a man could tell if his wife had sex or not due to a stretched or torn hymen.
We've come to learn it has NOTHING to do with virginity and nor can anyone tell if you are based on it being stretched.
It doesn't have to be intercourse or anything sexual that does it. Using tampons regularly, some vigorous sports like horseback riding can in-fact cause the hymen to stretch or even tear. You might not even know it has. Also, can be stretched through self-pleasure too.
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why does a penis have two differnt colors on like the main part? (link)
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It's pretty common to have discoloration. As far as I have read it's no cause for alarm but if you really are concerned a doctor can ease any worry.
Also if you are circumcised you'll notice a scar and scar tissue from where the foreskin once was attached to the shaft that may be darker or look like a ring of dark brown etc. Maybe that's what you're concerned with.
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has anyone heard anything about another tour coming from bruce springsteen? if so when? or a new album? thanks (link)
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He was on tour in 2007 and 2009. His latest album is Working On A Dream which came out early '09. It's incredibly bland and extremely disappointing. The previous album Magic is worth purchasing. His live show is incredible and over 3 hours long. If you get a chance to see it make sure you do so.
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i've always been really wet but lately im the exact opposite... it hurts whenever me and my dude do stuff. what could be causing this? how can i fix this without lube? (link)
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Are you diabetic or recently diagnosed or suspected to have the illness? It's a big cause for the dryness you mention. If you have undergone treatment for any illnesses or something serious as cancer they are factors as well.
I would also look into any medications you may take and find out there sexual side-effects as it may all be linked to something like that. What the poster wrote below is a lot to go on but I figured I would raise that diabetes and the treatments for it contribute to vaginal dryness.
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A guy i like asked me out and i wanna say yes but am i too young at age 13??? i have no idea what to do! please help me! (link)
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The answer depends on how mature you are and whether you can handle all the emotions and sometimes bitter disappointments that come with dating.
Boys at this age haven't matured as fast as girls in puberty or development. They may say they want a girlfriend one moment and still want to ignore you and play with action figures instead.
There's too many games being played so I would say dating someone else 13 isn't a good idea. You should wait a bit longer but keep him as a friend and tell him you're not dating yet.
Your emotions and feelings will only get trampled on by inconsiderate guys at this age. Relationships with people that young seldom work as one partner is mature and the other is still acting like a kid.
Talk to your parents and get their opinion. Nobody can stop you from saying yes to this guy or your true feelings but you do need to consider if he's mature or still acting like a little kid half the time.
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We both went off to differnt schools. We still talk to each other over the phone. We arrange to go round each other's houses. My friend said that he wants to kiss me. He told her because he was too shy to tell me. Which is fair enough!
I really wanna kiss him hold hands or something like that he's really shy and so am i.
Should i take charge or should i wait until he's said to ME he's ready...? (link)
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Nobody is getting kissed unless one of you makes a move. Unfortunately both of you are extremely introverted. He has however given you an open invitation to plant one on him by telling your friend.
That's as big a step he's comfortable with without you rejecting him. He likes you and obviously you like him and he's hinting so why make it complicated? Stop analyzing it and just do it. Once you've done it work on the relationship.
This is the only way. I know it's hard for you but nothing worth having or wanting comes easily. Your confidence will soar afterwards and you'll have yourself a boyfriend. Nothing bad will come from it. You can also ask him to kiss you. Either way you look at it you've got to say something to him at least and break the ice. Let me know what happens. Good luck!
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Hey, I am 16 femal and i am i a relationship, i have a septate hymen but im not ashamed to tell my boyfriend and my mum, when me and my boyfriend are being intimate he goes down and he is able to fit 4 fingers in, i am very worried that when we do have sex which i know will be soon that my Septate hymen will split and bleed uncontrolably, i dont want to go and see a gyno cause my mum will know im having sex but i need to go and get this sorted in the mean time i want to have sex with him,,, what do i do? if i bleed will i die???if i go and see my doctor could they do it there?? please give me some advice me you are my only hope... (link)
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I'm reasonably confident that you won't die or bleed to death. Actually,this type of hymen isn't uncommon. Usually, they do minor surgery to correct it at birth.
Why you never had yours fixed is something to discuss with your mother. She won't assume you're having sex. Tell her you read about minor surgery to correct it and would like it done because you're embarrassed by it and concerned about what would happen in the future when married.
You have a right to ask her about it. Tell her that you can't use tampons easily or how it affects you whenever you look at it. Either way it's common and some people bleed during sex and others don't. I can't say what would happen if left unfixed but I know you aren't going to die from it. And if you could... well news that would come as a shock to me.
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I need MAJOR help. I have this "friend" and she follows me EVERYWHERE! Everytime i sign onto skype i see "HEYHEYHEYEHEYEHEYEHYEEHEY!!!" I check my phone, and i have about 20 billion messages from her. She always uses the word "WE" like "hey what are WE going to do this weekend?" I have tried EVERYTHING! but she STILL doesn't get it! The thing is.. she always always ALWAYS complains about her life and how her parents abuse her and how she cuts herself, and how she tried to commit suicide.. she SHOWED me where she cut herself.. but.. i didnt see anything
its incredibly annoying.. and im not that nice to her either. I dont know why she follows me around everywhere. HELP ME!!! (link)
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There obviously something about you she finds desirable in a friend. That's a good thing. She is this loyal or on you all the time because there's something she likes about you.
The problem is that she has little to no social skills and her behavior and constant desire to be liked or included pisses people off rather than what she wanted.
This could be because of her family life, being depressed or any other factor. If she shows you cuts, talks of death, depression or suicide tell a teacher privately. Let them deal with that as may be more than to get you nt to ignore her.
What would I do? Cut the girl some slack and realize why she doesn't have friends and struggles. Talk to her and tell her in a constructive manner what she is doing that pisses you off and drives you and others away.
If you do that it will be doing her the ultimate favor. Maybe you will become friends and she'll learn when you or others need space. I wouldn't be mean to her but just talk it through.
If you aren't interested in seeing a friendship develop tell her why but choose your words nicely. She has nobody else and chose you as her "friend" over everybody else. Aren't you curious to find out why?
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hey. my name is evan. im 15 years old and a freshman in high school. i have been diagnosed with malignant melanoma which is a skin cancer for the 2nd time. im tired of trying to keep the secret that im sick again. im gonna do chemo this summer but i feel like im gonna burst if i dont tell my friends. my parents said not to cause i already get made fun of alot and i dont wanna get teased about this. what should i do? should i tell my friends or keep the secret like my parents want. i just feel like i need to talk to someone. thanks for the help.
~evan n (link)
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Only a ruthless and ignorant bastard would make fun of someone with cancer. It says a lot for their lack of character.
The choice to tell people of your condition is yours alone. You might want to tell people privately and on a need to know basis. Telling everyone projects their fears on to you when you have to deal with a severe battle to get well. It may serve as an unwanted distraction with all eyes on you.
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Ok so lately for some reason everytime after me and my bf have sex I burn "down there" for maybe a day or two. We both recently got tested for each others sake so we both don't have any stds. However he recently switched to lifestyle condoms instead of magnum so I was thinking that maybe that change could be causing this but I highly doubt it. What could it be that's causing this problem? (link)
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It's possible to have an allergy to latex and or the lubricant or spermicide that is being used with the new brand of condoms. The Magnum brand from Trojan aren't always latex condoms.
Some come in lambskin and I have a hunch that's what you used in the past if your genitals are burning after sex with these new condoms and you haven't any STDs or infections.
Don't engage in any sexual activity for awhile and when you do switch back to the old brand. That's the only way to tell if you can rule out the condom brand. Also refrain from any new lubricants etc to see if that's it.
If trial and error don't work see your gyn and see if they can figure this out. I'm not sure what medically it could be if you haven't an infection or STD. I'm also male so maybe a female can enlighten us more.
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i know its sounds disgusting but i really need help.I think its kind of nasty and i dont want to do it anymore lol so please help me! and im only 14 and im a female (link)
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The only problem here is a negative view of something that is normal. Along the way someone or something led you to believe it was nasty, dirty and even disgusting.
The fact is that it's normal and pretty much universal for both sexes in your age group. Roughly 90% of males do it and 70% of females. That number is probably higher but females are more discreet about it. You can bet your peers and even friends are doing it.
You have to ask yourself why you find it disgusting. Medically all doctors agree that it's normal unless it's all you ever want to do and you have no life outside of it.
As far as quitting goes it really is as simple as not liking it and having a reason and then using that reason to keep yourself from doing it when you think of it. Bottom line it's up to you to stop or keeping doing it. If you truly enjoy it great do it and if you don't don't.
If quitting is truly your aim try to find something else to do instead when the urge comes. It has it's benefits though in that you'll know how your body reacts and can convey that to your partner later on in life.
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Does anyone know a site where I can ask a question on sex. I believe my question would be too graphic for this site because of how young most of the people here seem to be. :\ Or maybe a girl that would be old enough to answer my question (im 16) (link)
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If you're more comfortable with professional sex-educators and older teen advocates answering your query check out Scarleteen. www.scarleteen.com
They have fact-sheets, diagrams, articles and message boards that are moderated and well staffed. I always recommend them to people who want a more detailed and graphic response though the site contains nothing adult.
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My friend (we are both 16-year-old girls), was recently sexually assaulted by a 15-year-old boy at school who is her ex-boyfriend. The police are involved and so are the teachers and school. (the assault happened at school. It wasnt rape, he just touched her innapropraitely and tried to do stuff. Also the boy and her broke up months ago and he seemed ok with it)
My friend is taking it ok. She is upset and angry and stressed, but she is a very strong girl and hasn't been emotionally affected as bad as people usually are.
The thing is, I dont know what to say to her. When this subject is brought up i dont know what to say. When she told me about it i didnt know what to say. And recently she told me that her dad cant look at her and called her a "slut" and he "cant belive she is her daughter". I think that this is completely outrageous and horrible, but i dont think i should say that to my friend because it is her father.
I just need advice on what to actually say. Should I just say nothing at all? What if she just says "I dont know what to do" which she does say alot. How do I respond to that? How do I respond to someone telling me they have been sexually assaulted by their ex?
I just need to know what to say and how to comfort her. (link)
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She's going to be pulled in a million different directions by people with good intentions. Almost all will have opinions of what she do and advice. Most have never experienced what she has.
She's alone in that sense in navigating. That's why the advice giving and the "what should I do?" answer should be given by a professional. Or, one could ask "what do you want to do?" and listen.
The best thing you can do is tell her that you are there for her and willing to listen. Offer nothing but your ears unless she asks. That's what she needs in a friend right now and isn't getting as a lot of people have her attention who aren't offering much help though they think they are by just talking.
Nobody can expect you to have all the answers or know what to say in response to this. That's why you should listen carefully, stay quiet and only offer when asked such a question an answer carefully though out. She needs a friend who will listen and be a shoulder to lean on. The others aren't really providing that.
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My friend is having a small graduation party with some friends for graduating 8th grade (which gives you hint how old we are). She's inviting her boyfriend and his best friend (who is dating my other good friend), of course this didn't surprise me, but the problem is I really hate both of them. I used to date his best friend and he screwed me over, but that's a different story and probably why I don't like them. They are really arrogant and annoying and I really don't like them. And I am really mean to them when I am around them and they are to me. At the end of the night, I usually am really angry and really no fun to be around at all. Then I want weed to make me feel better. I don't enjoy being around them and just get mad so I made a silent pact to myself that whenever they are invited somewhere I won't go.
Does this sound reasonable? I just can't deal with their crap. I also don't like my friend when she's around her boyfriend. There really is no hope of me and those two guys of ever getting along so... (link)
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Tell her that your family has something special planned for you to celebrate your graduation that night. Let her know you can't attend her party due to this fact. Do this to spare her feelings.
You can also tell her the truth but that may lead to problems with her and her boyfriend and you and the other people that you didn't want. You can let her know that you don't jive with them and leave feeling like crap every single time you get together. Ask her about celebrating together (without them) at a later date.
Those are your options. You can either tell a white lie about needing to be with family to spare you a lot of potential B.S. from her and them or you can flat out tell her that you don't get along with her friends, you always get into fights and would rather celebrate together without anyone else. It's up to you to decide.
Also, tell your parents how you feel about your friend's party and who she has invited and how you don't get along with them. See if they have ideas or solutions better than mine to pull out or endure it.
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Ok so my grades have never been that great, like bs and cs. Last quarter I got all As and 2 Bs. I get a "good job" and then my younger brother who got all Ds. And gets a freaking new xbox game and other stuff! I got nothing! And all my
mom says is "well I know you are capable of that" like what. No. I've never done that good, so I just don't think it's fair! And my brother tried hard at his baseball practice so
my mom got him ice cream and I got none. And then my
mom says "I always spoil you." I haven't gotten anything in a really long time. "/ it's not fair. I know I'm just jealous, but when she does this it makes me feel bad and I get a why bother attitude. It's not about getting stuff, I'm not that
materialistic it's just the fact he gets it and I don't. When I try so much harder and I'm such a nicer person"/ (link)
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Have you ever thought this might be a reverse psychology method on her part? She's not rewarding his grades but rather giving him everything she can think of to further motivate him to achieve and be rewarded.
I don't know for sure but that's one message she might be trying to send. Your mother knows that you push your own self to achieve academically and therefore doesn't have to shower you with gifts to get you going. Perhaps she does give you gifts etc. but figures you don't need that attention as much as he does.
Why not try telling her what you told us in the exact same manner. Point out that you've achieved a lot academically and done what was asked of you but it's your brother with lousy grades getting the gifts. Tell her you don't understand, aren't materialistic and feel bad when you bust your butt in school not to receive the same things he does.
Maybe you were spoiled and maybe you weren't it's not the issue. I think a 50/50 split with rewards is normal and one kid shouldn't get more than the other. It's not about who is perceived as the "nicer" person as that's subjective and doesn't influence parental decisions as they love both of you the same.
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Hello, I am 15 years old, and i have a huge Labia Manora. I beieve this means the outer lips of the vagina. I am so uncomfortable all the time. I have to put toilet paper in my underwear because of all the vaginal discharge that i get daily. i masterbate a lot, does that have to do with it? I am embaressed for anyone to see it. My friends and sisters joke around and call it a "penis." When I was little, I didn't know what it was and I used to stretch it out and play with it. Now, I am uncomfortable and ashamed of my Vagina. I tried so many times to tuck it in and hide it under. I don't want surgery because I am scared of it. Is there any possible way to shrink it? Please, please please please, help me?): (link)
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You can masturbate until your arms fall off and will not change the shape or size of your labia or genitals at all. It's totally unrelated. As far as discharge goes that's unrelated to the size of your labia too.
If you think you have an excessive amount of discharge talk to your mother, sister, aunt or trusted female about it and consult a gynecologist if need be to discuss how to handle it better. I'm a male but I do know that if something isn't comfortable or seems excessive amounts see one.
Your sister and her friends are brats and also ignorant about their bodies, genitals, shapes, sizes and differences. No two labia, vulvas or even penises in males look alike. In fact, you should be relieved to know that what you're dealing with is NO problem at all.
It's quite common in females to have slightly larger labia that peers or in general. Everyone is different and you aren't a freak of nature. It's common but not everyone talks about it and you don't see diagrams in health class or in magazines and stuff meant for adults--but it's common.
In fact, the added tissue may in fact enhance things sexually later on in life. So, it's not such a bad thing. I know of no surgery for this (not saying there isn't) but I wouldn't bother if there were as aside from being a crazy teenager you're pretty normal anatomically.
So, I would relax about it and not be so embarrassed. Trust me, most guys won't care at all about it as they're happy to be with you and two, are likely scared of what you'll think of their genitals. Nothing to fret about.
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we became best friends last year but we don't talk at ALL anymore. We both had a same interest and we would always have a blast talking to each other, but sadly, things change and other people got in the way of our friendship and we have zero communication,and its very AWKWARD between us and i don't know why but i don't wanna fix it, since she got her friends and i got my friends.
But the question is i don't know why i don't want to fix our friendship even though i think its sad, i would like to reconnect but its awkward what should i do?
(link)
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If you see her at school you should try approaching her and tell her that you miss having a friendship. See what happens and if she looks interested in possibly working things out or including you. Tell her you want to reconnect.
Unless you are leaving key details out here nothing hostile happened. She found new friends as did you and perhaps got sucked up into that and moving on without thinking about you. That happens in life and seems to have happened with you too and new pals.
Obviously, there was something there that you want to reconnect over or enjoyed with her. If speaking to her face-to-face isn't easy try putting a note in her locker or e-mail her about it. The ball will always be in her court but I think she will include you if your friendship is worth saving. To these eyes, it's worth a shot.
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I stretched my ears to 0g and put in double flared 2g glass plugs. About five days later my ear holes had healed to the size in the middle, making it impossible for me to remove them because the ends were too big. Well I tried tying floss to the one in the right ear to see if the weight would help it fall out. All that has happened is that the plug has gotten the majority of the way out, and is now infected. The back has been scabbing and closing up while the front leaks puss and is so sore I can't sleep on it. My ear hole is still too small to remove it and I really don't want to/can't afford to go to the doctor. I have been soaking it in Epsom salt and water mixed every day and,cleaning it with rubbing alcohol. I have no idea what else to do. Help me Please! (link)
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As much as you hate the idea of going to the doctor it's really the ONLY option you have. It's only going to get worse if you don't have them look at it and remove it with the proper tweezers.
I understand that it will cost $ but it's your health that is important. This qualifies for an emergency room visit where they will treat it and remove it.
I would not return to a piercing studio as that could make it worse with someone trying to fix the situation who isn't qualified in removing this.
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Hi,
I am 21 and Ive recently been feeling really horrible and slutty about during my teenager years of how i lost my virginity with someone who i knew but wasnt my boyfriend and he then went and slept with someone else that same night i found out later on. Not only this incident but i also feel ashamed of another person who i slept with who wasnt my boy friend wither about a year after that.I was single so that is not an issue but I just feel really slutty and im worried its going to affect my future relationships if they find about about it. I just genereally feel guilty of how i acted in my teenager years with boys and need to ask whether or not anyone thinks I should feel worthless and not worthy of having a serious relationship? (link)
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The only way it will affect you in the future is if you don't let go of it now. What you are experiencing is regret and remorse. You aren't worthless as believe me people have made mistakes far worse than this.
The thing is you've lived and learned and now know how not to make those mistakes again. The past is in the past and you can't fix the decisions you made but have learned so you won't repeat them.
Just go about your life now and enjoy your relationships with partners now knowing you have different rules in place in your mind not to repeat mistakes again. If you don't let go of this now it will impact relationships until you let go of the past. All that's holding you back is fear.
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