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I feel worthless because of how I lost my virginity
Hi,
I am 21 and Ive recently been feeling really horrible and slutty about during my teenager years of how i lost my virginity with someone who i knew but wasnt my boyfriend and he then went and slept with someone else that same night i found out later on. Not only this incident but i also feel ashamed of another person who i slept with who wasnt my boy friend wither about a year after that.I was single so that is not an issue but I just feel really slutty and im worried its going to affect my future relationships if they find about about it. I just genereally feel guilty of how i acted in my teenager years with boys and need to ask whether or not anyone thinks I should feel worthless and not worthy of having a serious relationship?
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Every one does something the regret in the past learning from it is the only thing that matters. you cant change it only learn from it so just let the guilt go every one has a past dont sweat it.
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The only way it will affect you in the future is if you don't let go of it now. What you are experiencing is regret and remorse. You aren't worthless as believe me people have made mistakes far worse than this.
The thing is you've lived and learned and now know how not to make those mistakes again. The past is in the past and you can't fix the decisions you made but have learned so you won't repeat them.
Just go about your life now and enjoy your relationships with partners now knowing you have different rules in place in your mind not to repeat mistakes again. If you don't let go of this now it will impact relationships until you let go of the past. All that's holding you back is fear.
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As long as you dwell on it then it will effect you, emotionally and physically. Everyone makes mistakes, You slept with a loser and now you just need to except it. Focus on the future, Not what already has been done and can't be fixed. If we were all to dwell on our past we'd all be miserable.
You have learned a lesson, Now it is time to move forward and have a healthier relationship. Let it go
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You can be ashamed of being a prude. You can be ashamed of being a slut. You can be ashamed of having sex once, twice, a dozen times. You can be ashamed of being in a relationship, of not being in a relationship, or of being divorced...
You can be ashamed of pretty much every, tiny little thing you did in your life that you now think wasn't such a hot idea.
There will always be more then enough shame to go around.
No one can tell you what you should feel. However, if you are with a guy who holds a sexual encounter you had as a teen agianst you, that guy doesn't love you. He loves himself and his own ideas more then he gives a damn about you, the person you are, or the way you feel.
The only way such simple teenage judgements challenge future relationships is ONE if you let them and TWO if you date insenstive, judgemental jerks who have rigid ideas of what people 'should' be, instead of an open tolerance and respct for learning and growing...
Forgive yourself and don't date assholes, and you'll be just fine.
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