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My mom is so unfair!
Ok so my grades have never been that great, like bs and cs. Last quarter I got all As and 2 Bs. I get a "good job" and then my younger brother who got all Ds. And gets a freaking new xbox game and other stuff! I got nothing! And all my
mom says is "well I know you are capable of that" like what. No. I've never done that good, so I just don't think it's fair! And my brother tried hard at his baseball practice so
my mom got him ice cream and I got none. And then my
mom says "I always spoil you." I haven't gotten anything in a really long time. "/ it's not fair. I know I'm just jealous, but when she does this it makes me feel bad and I get a why bother attitude. It's not about getting stuff, I'm not that
materialistic it's just the fact he gets it and I don't. When I try so much harder and I'm such a nicer person"/
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talk to her about it, maybe she doesnt notice tell her if it doesnt work i am sorry there is nothing you can do.
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The poster below is spot on. She doesn't want to spoil you, and I'd bet you're older as well (parents are always more careful with the first kid)
He's a D student, who obviously can't manage much better than that. They're trying to get him up as high as possible, and trying to keep you where you are. So he gets treats for progress because in their eyes he needs alot of work. You get nothing because they're not worried about you flunking out of school or not being able to pursue education past high school.
Parents push harder on kids who are more capable. It's not always the smartest way to handle things, but it's an understandable enough motivation. They pay less attention to you because they believe in you more, which I know makes you feel ignored.
They're not trying to ignore you. But in ten years when you're done with college and your brother is working minimum wage jobs and they're trying to find vocational training he can handle to be worth more in the job market than just being a high school graduate, you'll understand.
You can talk to your mom, but it's likely not all that much will change. It feels unfair because it is, but at the same time it's unfair to your brother too. In five years he's going to know that he got all that extra attention because he couldn't handle his shit the way you do. Your parents are looking at that as well, and they're trying to keep HIM from feeling the way you do.
Not an easy thing to do when you're not too far from failing and your sister can handle her shit. They don't want him to feel like you're a God and he's a loser. So they make a big deal out of him while they have the chance.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that your accomplishments don't mean anything to them. It's just... with your brother in the house they've got a kid who needs all the help he can get to still do worse than you. They're focusing their attention on the one of you two whom they think needs the help to keep his head above water. You should take pride in the confidence they show in you, and understand that the lack of attention has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that your parents want to turn out two functional children, and right now they've really only got one. So they're fighting to make your brother functional enough that they can send him out into the world someday and have him succeed, too.
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Have you ever thought this might be a reverse psychology method on her part? She's not rewarding his grades but rather giving him everything she can think of to further motivate him to achieve and be rewarded.
I don't know for sure but that's one message she might be trying to send. Your mother knows that you push your own self to achieve academically and therefore doesn't have to shower you with gifts to get you going. Perhaps she does give you gifts etc. but figures you don't need that attention as much as he does.
Why not try telling her what you told us in the exact same manner. Point out that you've achieved a lot academically and done what was asked of you but it's your brother with lousy grades getting the gifts. Tell her you don't understand, aren't materialistic and feel bad when you bust your butt in school not to receive the same things he does.
Maybe you were spoiled and maybe you weren't it's not the issue. I think a 50/50 split with rewards is normal and one kid shouldn't get more than the other. It's not about who is perceived as the "nicer" person as that's subjective and doesn't influence parental decisions as they love both of you the same.
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