I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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So I got a traffic ticket for not stopping at a stop sign. At first it was $125 fine, but because I'm going to traffic school for it, it is now $175 (but it won't raise my insurance, and it will be taken off my driving record).
Well, long story short, I have no money to pay it. I'm not exactly sure when I have to pay it yet, I haven't gotten a letter from the court saying if they approve the traffic school.
But when I do get it, do I pay the ticket first, and then pay for traffic school? Or the other way around? Because my parents are paying for traffic school, and if traffic school is first, it'll buy me more time to figure our how to pay for this ticket.
What do you do when you can't afford to pay a fine? Do you get further fines for it for not paying it? I don't have a job right now, I've been desperately trying to find one for the past month. My parents absolutely refuse to help me out. There is a very slight chance I might find one in about three weeks, its my last hope.
~F/19
(link)
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In most places if you go to court and the cop who wrote the ticket doesn't show you get off. This may be more serious--I don't know. I would talk to your parents and get a consultation with a lawyer or one of those places known for fighting tickets. They'll know what to do.
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When you masturbate is it bad for your health? (link)
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Any doctor will tell you that it's perfectly normal to engage in and normal if you don't. It's pretty much a universal thing with people your age but they're discreet about it--more so with females than guys. Stats say 80-90% of males of all ages do it and about 60-75% of females. You're fine and your health will be too. In fact lots of studies suggest it actually helps your health rather than not.
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17/f. My best friend is getting harrassed by a boy she very briefly new. They went on like 3 dates. One day, he started accussing her of this weird stuff that never happened. After that, hes been sending her texts like "fuck you" .."I just wante to let you know.. Your a fucking idiot." they dated in january, and he is still continuing this. Also, my friend recently had an eating disorder. (almost died) he was making fun of her for it. This guy is just such a jerk. His best friend dated this one girl I knew and he only dated her to have sex with her and cheated on her all the time that jerk found it "funny." he just isn't a good person and we don't know what to do to get him to leAve her alone. (link)
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Show the e-mails to a trusted adult. They will know how to proceed. You can get the school involved so the admin handles it and knows about it or the police too and charge him with harassment. Either way once you involve adults he will have to stop. Something is clearly wrong with him.
He seems to be a head case. Tell your friend not to get worried and that it will get resolved. Don't keep this a secret from adults as that will only help things escalate in intensity rather than stop.
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I am in my early 40's and have been diagnosed as depressed since my late teens after my first suicide attempt. I have been to dozens of doctors and therapists and have been on most brands of anti-depressants and am on one now. I am no longer suicidal but still suffer from major depression. Also I am afraid that other mental health issues are getting out of control like anger and making bad impulsive decisions. Because of these bad and impulsive decisions, my financial and health insurance situation is bad. I know I should be seeing a therapist on a regular basis and maybe should even be hospitalized. I have no urge to hurt myself or anyone else, but I am embarassed at who I have become and can't seem to stop myself from quitting jobs, sleeping around, compulsively eating, isolating, and lashing out at the few people I still have left in my life. In my twenties I seemed more in control and had a great career and was someone I could be proud of. For the past several years I see myself as this crazy person who barely is making it through the "normal" world. Is there some way I can finally get the help I need when I don't have the money or insurance? I know I need help. (link)
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The problem to me appears to be that your clinical depression is the byproduct of another mental illness that helps fuel it. That's usual the case 9 time out of 10 and not always caught by a psychiatrist.
As far as a therapist goes ditch yours. They aren't qualified to be giving any kind of advice on how to handle a mental illness.
What you describe is actually what sounds to me like hypomania. While not dangerous it's often the undercurrent of bipolar disorder and causes mania in a lot of people.
When you aren't in crisis hypomania results in poor sexual, emotional, personal, career and life choices that can destroy your life if not kept in check.
What to do? Find another psychiatrist no matter the cost and tell them about your years of suffering and that you think there's an undercurrent such as hypomania or even worse (as it could be) leading to all of these things happening. It may cost to see one but you need to. It has a lot to do with lashing out, impulses, bad financial situations and even delusions. If there's irrational thinking, choices and decisions it could be bipolar disorder or worse.
I'm not a psychiatrist but let's say I have a lot of experience around those with the types of problems you outline and the mental health community and being cared for myself.
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Ok this is kind of disgusting but recently, while I was having sex with my boyfriend, he noticed that after he pulled out, there was a very very small red chunk of tissue on his penis. So he looked in my vagina and found another small red chunk of tissue. We were both confused. We both know that its not an std because we both got checked and I'm nowhere near my period. I've been sexually active for about a year now so its not my hymen breaking. Does anyone have any idea of what this could be? (link)
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We aren't doctors and cannot diagnose the problem. Even if someone hazard a guess they could be dead wrong and cause more harm than good. It's in your best interest to see a gynecologist and tell him/her about these chunks and when it occurred.
It's not life-threatening from what you've written but you and I both know that it certainly isn't normal and isn't at all right. See someone to get it checked as that's your only way of treating it or finding out.
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I heard from my friend that she read some place online that Justin Bieber hates Koreans and refuses to do a performance in North Korea because of it. I haven't been able to find anything factual online and a lot of the news stories are confusing to me.
Can someone just please clear it up and let me know if he does hate Koreans then? I really like Justin Beiber but I just cannot be a Bieber fan if he hates Koreans because I'm half Korean myself. You know what I mean? I would just feel weird about liking him then.
I know it sounds trivial but please let me know. Thanks. (link)
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Trust me, if he were racist towards any minority the press would be all over it. When it comes to Northern Korea there's a lot of political, safety and logistics issues involved in going there.
I've got to say I don't see the appeal with this singer. He seems to be another flavor of the month artists, manufactured, unoriginal and someone who can't sing or dance well.
He's flat when he sings. I know that will alienate some but I'm not saying anything more than anyone else has about his talent. If you like him and know that he's not racist that's great.
I don't think he has anything against Koreans or anyone who supports his endeavors and if he did people would sure know by now. Nothing stays a secret in his industry. What we have heard though is that he's awfully demanding on promoters, handlers and reporters.
A security guard barely touched him once and he went off on the guy with a don't ever touch me again rant. There's those who think he has big ego and little talent. But yes, he's no racist and you can go on liking him.
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Sooo for a while me and my bf have smoked together but it's like my whole paycheck just goes to weed, it's bad I know :( I don't even like to smoke just ocassionally and it's like evvverydayyy idk what to tell him about this like there's much better stuff I rather spend my money on but I know he's Always gonna want to smoke and it bothers me soooo much but I don't say anything cause he just expects it from me... I just don't know, any advice ? (link)
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Ask yourself how much you really have in common with your boyfriend aside from the same drug habit. If you want to get sober you need to stay away from anyone in your path who continues to use in front of you or at all. You will succumb to pressure otherwise.
Tell him what you told us that you feel smoking weed is pointless and not good for your health or well-being and that you will no longer spend your money on it or enable him. Tell him unless he decides to stop that you can't be around him and be firm and stay firm on it.
There are groups out there for teens who suffer from all kinds of drug habits and that would be the perfect place to start for help as well as to turn to your family. You need a support network to succeed with this.
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17/f
I worked at mcdonalds for a year and just changed jobs last week to steak n shake and i start monday. I went on a tour thing there already and worked and didn't like it but figured i would get used to it. But now a place I actually want to work at called and I have an interview their soon. I don't have a steady paycheck coming because of orientations and stuff but should i switch jobs again? I just stress myself out and worry too much because I don't want to make my current job mad but i am pretty sure I will switch if i get the job. any advice? thanks so much (link)
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Stick with Steak 'N' Shake and suck it up for awhile. If you took the job and then bailed and went after the other place it will come back to haunt you now and later too.
Potential employers will see you as undependable and indecisive and won't hire you because of it. It will make your resume look bad too as they'll see all the jumping around and make observations true or not about you from it.
You haven't given this job a chance either. You might not have enjoyed the orientation session but things could improve and frankly you need the cash and need to show you can consistently stay with something.
What do you do? Stick with this job for the rest of the summer at least. You can switch to something else later. Tell the people who called regarding the interview that you were just hired and took the position not knowing if they would actually hire you as it was just an interview. Tell them that you would appreciate it if they contacted you in the fall when many of their employees head back to school.
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I am a 43 yeard old caucasian public school teacher that was PEC's Ivolountary Commited to a psychiatric ward against my will. I was NEVER suicidal. My dog had been hit by a car and killed in front of me the day before. My husband was out of town on business. I got drunk and called my sister 2000 miles away and she called 911 I denied being suicidal when the police arrived my sister had told them that she thought I had overdosed on medication I had not. When they got me to hospital blood work confirmed tjhat I had NOT ingested any pills i was just drunk and upset about my dog I told the Dr. that I was NOT suicidal. My sister called the hospital and talked to Dr. with out my consent! My husband who is listed as my emergency contact was out of town and NEVER called! They shipped me to a state mental hospital 3 hours away where ALL of my contitutional rights were denied me! How can I get out of this and can I sue the hospitals? (link)
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Unfortunately you don't have a leg to stand on and cannot sue anyone. A psychiatrist has the right to hold you for 72 hours involuntary for evaluation and because they think you were at risk to self or others.
Any time family are involved or 911 that hold takes effect. The doctor would have spoken to them and to you and saw a legitimate reason to keep you longer than 72 hours or have you placed in another facility.
Thing is that it's not what your family or yourself says to them. It's always, always their own personal assessment based on everything they are told and more importantly how you come across.
People with mental health issues that arrive at a hospital due to 911 or crisis NEVER recognize that they are in crisis and possibly are delusional and swear everything is fine when in fact it's not. Their concept of reality may be way off kilter. Trust me they don't keep you in a mental health ward for no reason. That may sound harsh but it's fact.
The government and legal system says they can hold you for 72 hours or indefinitely based on what they know to be the issue and if a crisis situation needs to be fixed with treatment. As hard as it may be for you to realize there's a legit reason they kept you there as they don't just put you in for no reason no matter who in your family they spoke to.
Once diagnosed with any kind of medical problem especially a psychiatric one it goes on your medical records for any doctor to access in order for them to provide proper care. In the U.S. and Canada you can't even read those observations but they do stick with you for life. I've never heard of anyone being able to refute anything in their records and especially not if it was a psychiatric hold.
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does anyone know when bruce springsteen and the e street band will be on tour again? or has anyone heard any rumors about a tour? thanks (link)
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see www.brucespringsteen.net which will more than answer any question you have about him, tours, set-lists and other tidbits. It's the official site.
If you do get to see him by all means get a ticket even if the price seems high. He does over 3 hours of material and usually more with no opener.
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is it normal to have a "gobbler"? (urban dictionary's definition is An unusually long flap of skin that hangs from a girls kooter. ) i mean, i know that people have it but does it mean that somethings wrong with them? i dont know...i guess i'm asking if it's really common. (link)
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There is nothing at all wrong with you. Everything is anatomically correct down there and you are perfectly healthy. Everyone's genitals look a little different and some people have longer labia than others. Because of excess tissue it's believed it may help enhance things when you become an adult and have relations with a partner.
It's normal and just how your body is. It's really common to have more skin but people don't talk about their bodies much so you would never know when it comes to peers or other females. Relax. It's fine. There's loads of people with it and not a single thing wrong with them.
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My cousin pranked call my bestfriends aunt phone and my number showed up on her caller i.d. My bestfriend's mom called me and started yelling and cussing me out for no reason. I tried explaining I didn't call but she would not listen. I believe they pressed charges againstt me im not really shure. My bestfriend wanna come ova and i have to suck up and apoligize to her mom but im scared. I hate rejection so im worried she wont accept my apology what shud i do? O BY THE WAY PLEASE ANSWER IMMEDIATELY I HAVE TO CALL TODAY AND IM NERVOUS WHAT SHALL I DO TO OVERCOME MY NERVOUSNESS..?~~ (link)
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Trust me you would know if they pressed harassment charges against you. It's not going to happen because they can't prove who made the actual call even if they suspect it's you.
Anyways, the way I see it is that it's your cousin's problem and not yours. You should explain to your parents what has happened here and how people are angry when you didn't do it.
Tell your parents that your cousin is responsible and you had no knowledge of what she did until you got blamed.
They'll handle it for you. In fact, you ought to suggest to them that they make her go and apologize to the people she offended face to face and put this all to rest.
If they seem unwilling to do that then I would march your cousin down there yourself and ask to speak to the offended parties and clear things up. Your cousin owes you for the amount of grief she's caused. She and not you needs to learn lessons regarding her actions and their effects.
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Hello
14 f
I would really like to know what sites should I check out, for young writers..that are free and that I can upload my stories so people can read them and rate them?
please show links!
thanks!
XD (link)
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Are you planning on becoming a reporter or a writer who is taken seriously by the industry, peers and readers? If so, a site where people rate your material and write comments that may or may not be appropriate and or inflammatory isn't the right idea for you.
A few years ago it was easier for teens to get into the journalism industry and write for real publications and professional editors. It's harder now as less and less publications and bureaus that work with teens exist.
If I were you I would look into Teen Ink Magazine which is easy to find through Google. They have existed since 1989 and have real teens like yourself working for professional editors on an assortment of stories for a real magazine available online and by subscription.
I'm not sure if they still exist and haven't tried logging on in a long time but Young People's Press in Toronto, Canada helped writers 14-24 write for a variety of e-zines, The Herald in Halifax and Toronto Star. Their site I believe was ypp.net Like I said, haven't logged on in ages.
Another place that does the same thing as Young People's Press is an outlet called Ypress.org They work with people your age in a real newsroom, assign stories and have you report them for the Indianapolis Star. Now, I can't be sure if needing to be in Indiana is a must or if they'll take submissions for that paper from people outside of that area.
What I do know about them is that they would be able to tell you how to get things kick started with your writing and who is out there that can get you into print.
The biggest issue is whether or not you can write well to be printed or show promise and can be trained by these people. Not everyone can be a professional writer. What you should be doing is taking all the English courses you can and studying grammar books and books on style and writing now so you have a leg up for college.
Virtually anyone these days can find blog software or programs on the Internet and set up a blog and be heard but that doesn't make you a writer.
If you really want to write for other people get on the path now to being a reporter and eventually going to college for it. For now, you can search for programs to help design a blog and go through Google and Yahoo to figure out how to list your page in their search engine.
If you really want to become pro one day you need clippings. I suggest calling a local newspaper not a daily but the one that comes to your door with tons of fliers. Talk to their editors and see if you can work during the summer helping their reporters and see if you can write something for them with their assistance. I did that myself at your age.
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im a 14 female andi rub my clitoris and orgasm etc. but i tried to finger myself and it HURT! it felt like it was burning when i stuck my finger in there. Why does it hurt and how do i make it feel good? i want to know what an inside orgasm feels like. does it feel better than rubbing your clit.? and i wont stick anything else up in there cause its not sanitary. and is there any way to get a better orgasm? i've tried an electric toothbrush but it didnt do it for me :/ i ran water on it and that felt good but what else? thanks for all the answers :) (link)
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We're not gynecologists and can't really tell you why you feel a burning sensation or any level of pain from this activity. It may have to do with the hymen and may not.
I would recommend you log onto www.scarleteen.com It's a site staffed with experts on human sexuality aimed at teens. They might know if you give them a more graphic analysis of the pain and how it happens to you as they have people with medical experience there.
As far as tips for this activity we can't and won't provide them due to laws about minors.
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15/F
I am a girl and the whole school thinks I'm gay. I'm not a homosexual though at all. I like guys. I'm VERY attracted to guys. The problem is I like guys that are a lot older and it's embarrassing to tell anybody because they'd think I'm nasty. By a lot older I mean, well, A LOT.
So, I don't tell my friends when I have a crush on a boy and I don't find the same guys they find hot attractive. They haven't ever seen me with a boyfriend BUT they never saw me kissing on a girl or something that would make me a lesbian.
I do have short hair but it's in like a pixie style that I really love and I've had the haircut for a few YEARS now so it isn't like I chopped it all off overnight. I'm not butchy or anything and I love the color pink so I'm always dressed up and I usually wear bright colors. I think I'm decently pretty, I guess, and I'm definitely no tomboy.
So, why do they think I'm gay? Should I tell them I like REALLY old guys? Should I change my hairstyle or my clothes? I'm confused. I don't want them to think I'm gay any more. It makes me sad and like I don't fit in. (link)
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The truth of the matter is that in 3-4 years you won't know any of these people. Their opinion won't matter then and it doesn't now. They truly don't know you. If they were friends they wouldn't question your sexuality.
Let them think what they want. It doesn't make it so. Those who know you well and are in your inner circle know that you aren't. Even if you were gay what's it to anyone else?
Do not change a damn thing about who you are including your appearance. If you love your hairstyle than keep it that way. You don't have to please anyone or try to end rumors by changing in fact it would only add to them.
As for liking older men as long as you know it's a curiosity and fantasy and that you're a minor and can't date them than it's okay. Otherwise you need to be with people the age of your peers as the other isn't legal.
As far as not fitting in goes do you really want to associate with these people? Find people who like you for you and stick with them. You'll be happier that way and I'm sure you know a lot of people like that who can be true friends. Try finding those like you that have trouble finding solid friends.
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13/f
To me death is soo scary. When I was little I would stay up half the night crying bc a thought of death entered my mind. I know nobody knows what happens when we die bc nobody has been through it to tell anybody else. But I have a few theories.
1.) that when we die we just get reincarnated into someone else. That there is a heaven but only for people who truely deserve to go. Bad people go to hell. REALLY good people go to heavn and the people in the middle get reincarnated.
2.) that when we die thee is ABSOLUTELY no heaven and you just poof and your gone.
So can anyone help me. I hate having to wake up in the middle of the night bc I'm crying of watll happen. Does anyone support my theories. Please help. Thx in advance. (link)
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Would a loving GOD or a higher entity by any name you can use condemn some to hell and some to heaven? That's especially so if we are made in his image and likeness. There will be those who disagree but think about it.
Did Columbus fall off the edge of the Earth like people thought he would in 1492 or did he keep going? I believe death is like that. Although the 5 senses can't see that person any longer they go on in another realm.
I believe Earth is a preparitory school with lessons to be learned until we pass from it and on to another experience. I also believe Jesus overcame death proving there was something else that we haven't experienced yet on another side.
Scientifically, doctors are questioning the same thing with people who were clinically dead one moment and revived the next. There's a lot of them who can recall exactly what they experienced, loved ones etc and they are rational people.
As far as reincarnation goes it sounds like a superstition or a theory and has no real legs or weight. I don't believe in poof you're gone either. What would be the point of this life if it were like that?
At any rate I would relax and enjoy life and not fear that which is unknown to you or anyone else. Be the best person you can be and enjoy every moment of every day. That's all a person can do.
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So my boyfriend is 19 years old. For some reason, whenever we try to have sex. He does get hard, but once he puts on the condom... He gets soft again. I asked him if it's because the condom is uncomfortable, and he said it's kind of tight on him. Of course condoms are supposed to be tight. So I constantly have to get him hard again and try to stick it in... But then it got soft inside me. I asked him if he was nervous, he said he's not nervous and he does not know what's going on. So whenever we take off the condom (don't worry, we didn't do it without a condom) he gets hard again. So my guess it's the condom? But I'm not sure. But yesterday, I actually got him inside of me before he got soft again, but.... I couldn't pleasure him as much as I wanted to... (He's shorter than average). I had to be on top just so it can stay in, and once it comes out... It gets soft. So, I have two questions:
What is going on? Is it the condom? And how exactly can I pleasure him when we actually do have sex with a condom? He's the first guy who I heard of that has trouble having sex.... >_ (link)
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Does he have any kind of illness or treatment with new medication? That can be a cause for sexual side-effects and inability to maintain an erection.
It sounds like this problem isn't his fault or yours and could be medical in nature. He might not be used to using condoms either and may want to try another brand.
The quickest solution is to get a product at an adult novelty store (it has a vulgar name we can't print) that is a plastic ring that slides to the base of the penis and traps blood thus eliminating your problem.
I would have him see an urologist who can make sure that there is nothing the matter with his sexual organs that causes this as it may be medical and may be psychological and having to do with fear of some kind.
I wouldn't have unprotected sex or recommend it unless you knew neither of you had any STDs and were on birth control. If he can maintain and achieve an erection that way and not with a condom it's baffling.
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Helllo I have a problem when i finger my self i get a really nice feeling and a tingle but am i a bad person for this and am i a slut?x
Please answer this question. (link)
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Aside from being a crazy teenager you're NORMAL. In fact, this activity is UNIVERSAL with both sexes at your age. Boys talk about it while girls are discreet and never admit it.
75% of females of all ages do it or will at some point. As long as you enjoy it that's fine and if you don't that's normal too. You aren't a slut because you don't mess around and sleep with countless random people.
Nothing wrong with you at all. Likely your classmates and friends are all doing it too but not talking about it with peers. At either rate you're in a large boat and as normal as any other female your age.
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My girlfriend really wanted to give me a handjob. I thought it sounded great and when we go together this past weekend I let her do it. Now, my girlfriend is a virgin and she has never given a hand job to anybody so this was a new thing for her.
She didn't do it right and I had to get her to stop after awhile. My penis hurts now because she didn't know what she was doing. How long will it hurt? When will the pain go away from the bad hand job? Some places her nails got caught or dug in to my skin. She also squeezed too hard and had some really bad angles going on (which made it really not comfortable since there wasn't a whole lot of lube).
I should have stopped her sooner but she wanted to try so bad. When will this heal up? Should I see a doctor or something? (link)
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Provided you don't engage in any kind of sexual activity including self-stimulation for a while you will be fine and it will heal on its own.
You NEED to tell her that although her intentions were good that she hurt you. If you don't it will only happen again until you correct her and walk her through it.
How else is she to know it hurt you? You need to tell her that it didn't provide anything good. No need regarding seeing a doctor as long as you leave that area of your body to heal naturally.
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ok so i got fired from a job a few months ago it was for something that wasn't really my fault. they said i should have been paying extra attention. but i've been trying to find another job and i've put applications in at places that was hiring but i haven't heard back from any of them. i know places don't want workers who have been fired but how do i convince them that i'm a good worker and the reason i was fired was a accident. i'm also a teenager so if you could tell me some websites that finds jobs for teens then that would be a plus. (link)
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There's NO way they can tell you were fired unless you TELL them you were. Leave that job off of your resume and forget about it.
All they can focus on is what you have on the resume and calling those people or those you listed to call. They will recommend you and speak highly of you and you will likely get a job.
Where are you applying to? If you need cash and aren't picky apply to movie theaters near you or accessible by transit. They have a high turnover rate and really need people. It's harder to land something for summer but try. Once teens go back in September they're really desperate to hire replacements.
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