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Why do people think I am gay?
15/F
I am a girl and the whole school thinks I'm gay. I'm not a homosexual though at all. I like guys. I'm VERY attracted to guys. The problem is I like guys that are a lot older and it's embarrassing to tell anybody because they'd think I'm nasty. By a lot older I mean, well, A LOT.
So, I don't tell my friends when I have a crush on a boy and I don't find the same guys they find hot attractive. They haven't ever seen me with a boyfriend BUT they never saw me kissing on a girl or something that would make me a lesbian.
I do have short hair but it's in like a pixie style that I really love and I've had the haircut for a few YEARS now so it isn't like I chopped it all off overnight. I'm not butchy or anything and I love the color pink so I'm always dressed up and I usually wear bright colors. I think I'm decently pretty, I guess, and I'm definitely no tomboy.
So, why do they think I'm gay? Should I tell them I like REALLY old guys? Should I change my hairstyle or my clothes? I'm confused. I don't want them to think I'm gay any more. It makes me sad and like I don't fit in.
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It's just retarded society. For some reason, if a girl doesn't have a boyfriend, people see her as a lesbian.
I've been there, too. In junior high, I honestly thought EVERY GUY there was unattractive. And I was a bit of a tomboy. My sister decided that that meant I was gay. And told my mom (luckily, my mom didn't care either way). I thought it was completely ridiculous that just because I had different taste in guys, that automatically meant I was a lesbian. I took a lot of crap for that.
Your friends are just ignorant. Your taste in men or your appearance doesn't make you straight/lesbian/bi. If you love your hair, keep it. Don't change for them or for anyone, EVER. I know it may be hard to put up with, especially since you're probably in high school and will have to see these people for the next couple of years. But don't let this change you. The world needs more people who don't give a shit about stereotypes and who want to be themselves.
If anyone calls you gay, just correct them. Don't get defensive because that just fuels their stupidity. Don't treat it as an insult, either. Don't make a huge deal out of it. Just calmly tell them "No, I'm not" and be done with it.
You also don't have to explain yourself to them. If you feel uncomfortable sharing some things with them, then don't. If they demand an explanation, just tell them you have different taste. If they honestly think that "different taste in men" immediately means you're gay, they're not even worth arguing with.
This type of behavior you just have to ignore. It may seem like forever from now at the moment, but in a few years, these people will likely be out of your life. I'm graduating high school now and I can tell you that I will probably never talk to most of my classmates again.
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The truth of the matter is that in 3-4 years you won't know any of these people. Their opinion won't matter then and it doesn't now. They truly don't know you. If they were friends they wouldn't question your sexuality.
Let them think what they want. It doesn't make it so. Those who know you well and are in your inner circle know that you aren't. Even if you were gay what's it to anyone else?
Do not change a damn thing about who you are including your appearance. If you love your hairstyle than keep it that way. You don't have to please anyone or try to end rumors by changing in fact it would only add to them.
As for liking older men as long as you know it's a curiosity and fantasy and that you're a minor and can't date them than it's okay. Otherwise you need to be with people the age of your peers as the other isn't legal.
As far as not fitting in goes do you really want to associate with these people? Find people who like you for you and stick with them. You'll be happier that way and I'm sure you know a lot of people like that who can be true friends. Try finding those like you that have trouble finding solid friends.
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Haters gonna hate.
People are always going to talk. You really can't control them. Let them talk; at least that way you know you're relevant.
Don't change who you are because some people think you're gay. Keep your hair short, dress how you want, and keep any secrets to yourself that you want to keep. Chances are, even if you change yourself, people will still assume that you are gay. That's usually the way these types of things go. Just be yourself and hang out with the people who accept you. Simple as that.
As for why they think you are gay, I don't really know. People are under the assumption homosexuals have a certain swagger about them. Maybe they feel you capture this swagger.
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well for starters, just for the record, when you get out of school, it won't matter what people thought of you. but, honestly i have no idea why people think you're gay. they have no reason to. don't change anything about you just for them! just be proud of who you are (which is NOT a homo!) haha. if you want to, just say i like older guys but don't say A LOT older because they might take it the wrong way, but it's not bad to have a preference on age :)
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