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I want my boyfriend to cum in me!
I've been with my boyfriend for more than a year and I love him a whole lot. We started having sex a long time ago (like 2 months into our relationship) and I think we're really strong together. We have really great sex but there is just one problem...
He never does cum inside me. NEVER!
I'm on birth control pills and he always insists on using a condom. I really want him to just do it though. It's almost like I have this weird craving for it. Every time we have sex I am thinking about it and how good it would feel. I have never had it done though so it isn't like I REALLY know it would feel good. It's a weird feeling I guess but I want it so bad.
I'm already on BC pills so it isn't like I'd get pregnant or something. How can I convince him to stop using condoms?
15&aLady
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Birth Control Pills?
By now I am sure you are already pregnant or have been. Of course you feel in love and want him to release his sperm inside of you. Your body is trying to reproduce. This is why you are desiring that and love him so and want him.
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Birth control pills, when used perfectly have a failure rate that works out to about 1 in 1,000 women getting pregnant a year. With typical use it's about 30 in 1,000, or 3 in 100. Without any contraceptives, it's about 6 out of 10 odds that you'll get pregnant. So the pill is way, way, way better than nothing, but not everything you need.
There's nothing in the world stopping you from being that unlucky 1 in 1,000 woman, even if you did everything completely right. Sometimes life just finds a way.
Your boyfriend is right at his age not to want to father a child. He would be irresponsible to put his reproductive choices into someone else's hands, the same as you would be if you were relying on him to take a pill and then doing nothing on your own to keep yourself safe. Right?
You as the female don't really feel anything when there's no condom. He'd feel the difference when he orgasmed, but you'd likely notice nothing out of the norm.
Think of someday wanting a child and how special it'll be to finally have condomless sex for the first time with that man you love. Because unless you want a kid, you really do need them. You wouldn't want a pregnancy in exchange for condomless sex, right? Because it's possible that's the trade you might be making.
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You should talk to him about it more. Explore his perspectives, and try to both understand and respect his views.
He wants to be safe. At 15, now isn't the time to be talking him into chances.
What you want is not abnormal by any means, and the poster below me definitely got his first item wrong. But now isn't the time.
In the future, spermicide is an option. VCF (vaginal contraceptive film)isn't quite as effective as a condom, but it's close and you're on birth control as well.
But for now, the rest of what's posted below is correct. Spermicide is a bigger risk because there will be semen present far more often inside you. And while you're reducing the risks, the risks are there. I have a friend who got through a diaphragm and birth control, and if you know about diaphragms you know they're used in conjunction with spermicide.
Acts of God can and will happen, and the more precautions the harder it is. At 15, you don't need to expose yourselves to even that tiny risk, because if your number gets called it's going to suck for everyone involved.
Wait. Chill out. Get yourself more on an adult footing in the world before you decide to start taking any more adult risks than you already are.
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I support his decision because of 3 reasons:
1. You would not be able to feel anything if he ejaculate inside anyway--most women don't feel anything at all, until it "leaks" out.
2. He might have his own reasons. You should ask him about it first and try to understand it, for after all, you two are a couples for quite a time already.
3. Birth control pills have about 3% of failure rate for typical use, so that means it is not completely safe.
Sources for failure rate of birth control methods:
Heath Department, University of Arizona: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Student Wellness Center, University of California, David: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Health Education Center, University of California, Irvine: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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How can you convince him? Well, if even after reading all those three reasons above you still want him to do that, then I suggest you have a talk with him about this. In that talk, constantly push the matter of "why he wouldn't cum in you." Eventually it'll come to a point when he's just annoy by it and will react. How would he react? I have no idea.
Good luck,
:-)
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