Whatever your problem is, chances are I have dealt with it- either directly of indirectly- at some point in my life. I've worked as a Social Worker (with issues like mental illness, addiction, disabilities, eating disorders, etc.)
I've also taught school (to teens!)and have experience mentoring them.
In addition to that, I've lived in 4 different countries, many different cities, and worked jobs in all different fields from Software Sales to Fashion Designer.
This diverse life experience has given me knowledge on a wide variety of topics- which I hope I can put to good use here. :-)
So go ahead- ask away!
PS- I do not judge people or speak to them in a condescending way. However, I will be honest and tell you what you NEED to hear, not what you WANT to hear.
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Age: 34
Member Since: July 15, 2007
Answers: 181
Last Update: June 24, 2009
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DangerNerd
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Well im like madly in love with my friends boyfriend. Theyve only been going out for like 5 days, but ive liked him since the beginning of the year. And so two weeks ago right after he broke up with his girlfriend i told him i liked him and that i was going to ask him out, but i knew he would say no, because he just broke up with his girlfriend, and i kinda had a hunch that he sorta of liked shannon. And he said he kinda did, but that didnt mean he liked me, and that he promised he wouldnt go out with her. And so i was all happy. But he never talked to me about it again. And so finally i was just like is it because you dont like me and hes like no i really like you i just have to think about stuff. BUT HE TOLD SHANNON THE EXACT SAME THING. And hes not that kind of person. And i yelled at him, and im really mad at him right now, but i cant get him off my mind, and everytime i think about him and shannon together, i start crying, because it just doesnt feel right. And dont tell me to just stop liking him. Its not that easy. And i dont care if you say im not in love, because i am, i cant stop thinking about him and ive never felt like this with a guy before. Hes really not the kind of person to be like that, and he just didnt stop and think, and i cried myself to sleep last night because i cant stop thinking about him, and i love him sooooo much, and hes so sweet, and i just dont know what to do. (link)
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This guy either:
a) doesn't know what he wants
b) does know and is playing games
c) is not interested in you in that way and doesn't have the heart to tell you knowing your feeelings for him, so he's making excuses.
EITHER WAY, I'm sorry to tell you, there's not a lot that you can do about it. Love has to be a 2-way street. If he loves you, he will pursue you, but he needs to make this decision on his own and in his own time.
If you make any attempts to nudge him you will just push him away. Not to mention, that you will probably also lose a friend in the process.
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I am going into 8th grade. The first and last time my mom actually bought me a bra was in the beginning of 6th grade. That bra is a 34 A and i'm sorry it's old, sweaty and my boobs got way bigger from then. I'm not exagerrating. I know what you are thinking: ask your mom to get you a new one, stupid. My mom is SOO IMMATURE when it comes to stuff like that. Today we were in old navy and OH MY GOSH! PRAISE THE LORD! MOM ASKED IF I NEEDED A BRA. I was about to say yes but she was like giggling and gesturing to her boobs and smiling. So I said no and turned red and walked away. I know I should buy my own, but I buy alot of my other stuff that my mom won't buy. It takes me a while to even earn 60 dollars from babysitting, and I don't want to buy a bra because it gets me really mad that my mom could buy one for me if she was a little more mature. Everytime I try to get myself to buy my own, I picture how much money i'm losing. Don't think my mom buys all my other stuff, she doesn't. I do. And i'm NOT COMPLAINING, because I think that teaches me well when I buy my own stuff. But A BRA. THE LAST time she bought me one was when I was 11. I'm realy embarrased to ask her. Should I get up the courage and ask, and have the next few days be awkward, or go to the mall this week and use my own 20 dollars? (link)
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Your mother needs to buy you a bra. Period.
Whether she's in denial of her little daughter growing up, just being a cheapskate, embarrassed, or some other ridiculous reason, I don't know....but regardless of the reason, as your mother she needs to stand up and take you bra shopping.
Tell her openly that you have outgrown that old thing and need one. And don't let her joke, change the subject, or skirt around the issue.
As your mother, she is responsible for clothing you properly. And a bra is an important part of clothing. Maybe she doesn't realize the embarassing and uncomfortable position that she is putting you in, so you might have to express this to her as well if you don't get a response.
If that still doesn't work, try an Aunt or other female in the female who may respond in a more favorable way.
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Myself - 16/f
My Mom - 51
My Dad - 60
I realize my parents are getting older, and it scares me to no end. My parents haven't smoked for years but they used to, my dad needs knee surgery but won't get it and they both get very little exercise. My mom walks a lot, but my dad really doesn't do anything. Every time we go out, I can't help but worry that something might happen to them.
Everytime I think of something happening to them, which is everyday, I just start crying. I haven't even seen another teenager for the last two weeks because I have been spending everyday with my parents. I take as much time as I can to be with them but it never feels like enough. I'm so scared for them and it makes me so emotional.
Please help me find a way to cope with this, thanks. The one thing is, I will never talk to them about it or go to a therapist. If that was what you wanted to tell me, sorry in advance. (link)
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Your parents are lucky to have a child who loves them so much and cares about their well-being.
However, I'm sure that your parents also want the best for you, as you do them. It would pain them to see that you are causing yourself so much worry and not enjoying your teenage years on their account.
Listen, we all have people that we love dearly and wish that we could help. People that drink too much, don't eat right or excersize among many other things. But you can NOT change someone. The most you can do is love them, guide them, and support them. But ultimately, they have to be the ones to make any changes and are responsible for their own choices in life.
You can talk with them honestly about how you feel, and that might help some. But don't expect that you will be able to turn their whole lifestyle around. Instead, try to be as supportive and encouraging as you can, beyond that, love them for who they are. Then try loving yourself a little more!
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Ive noticed some things about myself and i was wondering if these are normal and how to change them.
I could go outside with my family and have the best day of my life, but then come home and after a few hours be misreable and angry.
When i am having a great day, it never seems to last. But after a little bit i can cheer myself up. But then ill be sad again.
I get to sleep at about 11 (or somtimes 2) at night (or 2 in the morning)
I have wierd eating habbits where i dont get hungry (expt i always love candy/munchies) until late at night, when i need to go get somthing to eat.
I'm a 13 year old girl
I broke up with my boyfriend (who i had been datin on/off for a year) out of the blue. (The day after i had heart surgery and he has been so suportive about it, saying he would visit me and everything) He was perfect and amazing but i didnt think i loved him and some days im over him and im happy for him and whatever new life hed like to have and i want him to get a girlfriend and move on and other days i just want him back. But i know i cant because i dont even know what i want.
Some days when i think about things my ex-boyfriend would do or say, it would make me be thankful it was over and other times the same things make me miss him.
I know im smart enough to get straight As but i get As and Bs because its so much simpler in theory. I get to stressed from all of the pressure of quizes.
I have high expectations of myself and i seem to fail most of them.
I used to think i had the best body but now im losing faith in my self image.
Im in-consistant in everything.
I used to think i needed to be perfect in everything..
Im inspired easily but easy come easy go.
I feel like my life is ina downward spiral and that im going crazy. But tomorow when im happy everything will look so clear.
What is my problem? Why am i like this?
Please help. Id love any advice that you can give me. (link)
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Ok, first of all, at your age your body is probably going through a lot of changes. That means hormonal changes as well, which can affect your moods. So these mood swings are pretty common for your age.
So are the sudden insecurities that you are feeling. Your body will be changing, and you will grow emotionally and intellectually as well. In other words, A LOT of changes are taking place. So try not to worry so much and realize that EVERYONE else is going through those changes too.
You said you also went through heart surgery?! That's a BIG thing to go through, for someone at any age. So considering the circumstances, I think you are doing great. And it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Don't worry too much. Or expect too much. Just be the best you that you can be. That's all anybody can do.
As to the second part that you added about everyone thinking you're happy all the time... maybe you are so worried about others feelings and cheering them up, that you neglect yourself?
A true friend will be there for you in good times and bad. So don't be afraid to share with them some of the not-so-happy aspects of your life. You would expect your friends to share this with YOU wouldn't you? So why are you holding yourself to a different standard?
Give yourself a break!
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what are the withdrawal and side effects of Citalpram(Celexa)? (link)
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Celexa can help if you haven't responded to other meds, since it's in a different category.
You can check out the side effects of any drug at rxlist.com
But be careful when getting off this drug, you need a very slow tapering off (supervised by dr.) or you may have terrible withdrawl symptoms.
Also warning: believe it or not, Dr.'s are not always knowledgable about the withdrawls for different drugs, and may just take you right off them- so always check into this yourself.
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I was wondering how much Danvers MA or Beverly Ma hopsital charges for people who go in to be evaluated for cutting.
This would be without insurance.
Any answers would be appreciated. (link)
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Contact nami.org or another organization that helps with mental health issues. There are free counseling and referral services, you just have to find them. See if NAMI can help, if not, ask for a referral.
That's what I'd suggest, especially without insurance. And if you find yourself in a really bad spot or think you will be in danger to yourself, then you can admit yourself to a mental hospital or call 911.
Are you eligible for medicare or any of those services?
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what does it mean when they say find yourself? and how do i do that? because i want to find myself this summer! (link)
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Someone very bright once said that you don't find yourself, you create yourself.
I like this. It suggests that you make yourself who you are, rather then looking for someone or something else to define you.
And by the way, this is an ONGOING process. You don't just 'find yourself' and stay that way the rest of your life. As you learn, grow, experience new things, your outlook on things will change too. So that the person that you decide to be today, might change next month or next year.
Your core values may stay the same- but you will always be redefining who you are. Think of it as a journey and not a destination.
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Alright,so for the past 2,3 months i've been having these weird symptoms that occur almost everyday. i know you can't diagnose but i just need help from anyone to give me some clues of where its going,if you know anything at all.
I'll give you the symptoms and examples,it might be long.
- Unable to focus
*i never know whats going on around me,i
feel like really lazy and tired. i always get
9+ hours of sleep,its not the lazy tired
people think,its like exuastion all the time.
- Unable to think straight
*I'll mix 2 thoughts and think they're real,
imagine things and for about 30 seconds think
they actually happend.lose track while in the
middle of a story (all the time.)
- Lack of emotion/thoughts
*sometimes i'll just stare at something and
think of nothing,i get out of focus and dizzy
then after a little while i get back into
focus and notice i've been doing that for 3
minutes.
- Sometimes when i'm reading the words will shake on the page.
*only happend a couple of times. im just staring
at the page and then it like gets out of focus
and hurts kind of.
- Sometimes my hands get shakey
*didn't really happen that much but still,
its happen to my right hand it just spazzed
or something. weird.
- Unable to get back into focus for awhile
*like i said,everything blurs out and i
also forget what i was doing after it happens.
- Bad hearing?
*i ALWAYS have to ask people one,two,or three
times to repeat things. mostly because i
can't listen. i try but i just fade away..
i literally don't pay attension every time
i try too. its too hard to pay attension.
the weird part is nothings even on my mind
to distract me. i'm always zoned out?
- i really feel like my head near my eye
area is heavy or something
*like towards my forhead,it just feels wrong.
- always feel dizzy-like
*unable to focus and like i'm looking at things
as if im just watching a movie. i don't think
things are real sometimes either. i ALSO feel
really delayed.i dont know if i already
mentionedthat.
- I CANT REMEMBER THINGS AT ALL.i'm not just
saying it,i literally forget MOST* things i do.
for example,we learned a dance in cspa today.
and tonight i really can remember anything
about it other than it was really hard.
and i'm probably going to have to learn it all over again.
- confused easily
*self-explanitory.i feel slower than the rest though.
-delayed reactions.
- FREQUENT ear popping in left ear.
*yeah,and i have to pull my ear a cirtain way
to clearly hear out of it.
Some other facts: My old sister has been having this too lately, and YES,i eat right, YES, i've been getting my vitamins (i take vitmin pills). YES,i've had enough sleep. thats why i'm taking this seriously. I'm 14,female. (My sister's 20)I DO NOT do drugs,sex,drink, or smoke. if that makes a difference.
any help at all on this,thanks.
(link)
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Some of these symptoms can be attributed to mental health issues such as depression, but to me this sounds like more of a medical problem.
And given that I don't know your medical history, if you are on any meds, etc. I can't give you any kind of diagnosis. (Not to mention that I am not a doctor).
So my advice is that you see a doctor about this. It may be just be something small, but you never know, so I'd make an appointment right away with your family doctor.
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For the past 3-4 years(yes, years), *every* dream I've has had something silver in it. The precious metal, not the color. I've had dreams with silver swords, guns, rings, canes, glasses, cars, and a few completely silver buildings. The silver object is always a tool, something that I use or carry on me. I'm usually the only one with a silver item. In the dreams I treat the silver items normally, I don't particularly value or protect them, I never mention them to anyone, and they're never the central focus of the dream; they're just there. My dreams are extremely varied other than this, there's not usually anything else that connects them.
I'm interested in what you think this could mean, if anything. Thanks!
theymos (link)
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The things that we see in dreams are usually not to be taken literally, they are symbolic of something else. And what they symbolize will be different for everyone.
For example: two people dream of black cats. To some black cats represent good luck, to others bad luck. So depending on what a black cat 'means' or represents to you, this image can carry a totally different meaning. Maybe the dream is telling one person that are or will be having good luck, and the other person, the opposite
So you have to ask your self what silver represents to you. Does it remind you of someone or something? Whatever it means to you, that is what it is in the dream.
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13/F
I have Avoidance Personality Disorder. This gives me A LOT of anxiety throughout the day at times when I need it the least. I'm kind shy so the anxiety builds up causing me to sweat excessively, become hot, tense, and stiff. I use DrySol for the sweat which helps physically but obviously does not reduce anxiety.
Some things (possibly too many to list) anxiety prevents me from doing are high jump in P.E. (which is sooo embarrassing when I almost refuse to do it), talk to ANYONE I'm interested in, develop relationships with people, be myself, speak my mind, develop my own opinions and not conform to others.
I might ask my mom if I can try therapy, but the results are very slow and I want to be able to start the school year fresh and excited.
Well... I'm guess I'm thinking about anxiety medication. I know that I really want to give it a shot... but I definitely don't think my mom would approve. I don't think she fully realizes that this is a real disorder, not some teen phase. I can recall being this way my entire life and as irrational as these fears are, they're so overpowering I can't do ANYTHING about it.
I have some situations where I can relax, and those will be OK, but for the other 99% of the times...
I feel like medication might be my last chance. I don't know how to go about asking my mom about this. Should I ask her? She might think I sound desperate, and she would think "Oh, they don't work anyways." I long for those moments when someone I like talks to me, I feel like I can respond, instead of feeling a huge weight on my shoulders. Any opinions and advice is welcome. :) (link)
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My first question is how do you know that you have this? Have you been diagnosed by a doctor or are you self-diagnosed?
Secondly, whether you do have this disorder or not is does seem like you are battling SOME kind of anxiety, and perhaps even other issues- maybe confidence, self-esteem, possibly depression, though I can't say without knowing more about your situation. (So please don't take this as a diagnosis!)
In any case, based on what you HAVE said, I agree that you could benefit from counseling. If you think that your mother may hesitate to send you then you need to prepare before you speak with her. Put together you 'case' as if you were a lawyer, get all your facts together.
State specically why you believe that you have this disorder, how (specific examples) it is interfering with your life. Don't just describe the way you 'feel', use actual real-life examples to illustrate your point. This will be more persuasive than just a vague statemtent about feeling nervous, which she could easily dismiss as just normal things that all teenagers go through.
If the talk with your mom doesn't help, talk to your oounselor at school. If you don't want to wait until then, see if there are any counseling centers in your area that you might be able to go to. Or talk to your family doctor about the problem, maybe he / she will help convince your mom to get you some counseling.
NAMI is an organization that helps with mental health cases too and they are all over the country. I believe they also have a hotline and referral service. Check them out at nami.org
hope this helps. :)
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i have been suffering from severe depression for awhile. after much thought, i believe it's because of some of my actions in the past. not murder or anything like that, but i have alot of shame and guilt (with myself) but cannot seem to forgive myself. i realize i am only human and i'm going to make some mistakes, but i cannot seem to get over whatever things are making me feel depressed. i have tried almost every anti-depressant, but they don't seem to work. i obviously need help, but cannot seem to find anyone who truly wants to help me. it's always a question of health insurance (i have excellent coverage) so instead of helping me, i feel they are prolonging my agony to keep the money coming in. truthfully, i wouldn't care if they were helping me. i have considered a indian medicine man and even went to a reservation in hopes of speaking with one, but it was the weekend and they were closed. a psychic is starting to look good but most are for fun. i truly need help before i lose my mind! thanks (link)
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I don't know if you are aware of this, but guilt is a symptom of depression. It comes with the territory. So it's very common for people who are battling depression to have the same kind of thoughts that you do. You can run the same things over and over in your head, making yourself crazy.
You need to also know that depression can cloud your thinking. It magnifies problems. It also makes it difficult to see the positive in things. So chances are that things aren't NEAR as bad as they SEEM when you are depressed, but the depression is making you PERCEIVE them to be so horribly bad that these thoughts are torturing you.
For this, you need more than just meds, you need counseling as well. If you're not already in counseling, then please seek out a good counselor. Also, be aware that the meds can be very tricky, some spend forever looking for the right combination of meds, and some just don't respond at all- or even get worse on the meds (though this is believed to be rare).
Have you ever tried taking a low dose of Seroquel at night? Seroquel is technically an anti-psychotic that helps to eliminate voices for people like schizophrenics. But it can also be very helpful for people who have depression and are plagued my their own dark thoughts. If you are the type who lies in bed at night and everything that you did wrong, or should do or need to do, etc. is racing through your head, then seroquel at a low dose might help to tame these intrusive thoughts. Ask your doctor.
Meanwhile, keep at it. Things will get better.
And make sure that you are taking care of the basics- like sleeping and eating well. When these get out of whack- they can really make everything else worse too. So keep them in check.
You can also try vitamins- especially the b vitamins which give energy. And amino acids- which help produce the neurotransmitters in your brain that fight things like depression.
Keep believing and keep trying- something WILL come through. Things will get better.
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Okay, well i am going to go to massachusetts wensday-monday.. My nana's sister is picking me and my 2 younger sisters and nana up to go there shes like 65-68ish. I live in maine, so its about a 1 hour& 30 min to 2 hour ride.
Well i keep thinking about car crashes, and how im gonna miss my brother and parents. I dont know. I just keep thinking about death and about my aunt ( who just died) and all this stuff.
Im like scared to go in the car with someone old like that driving, and I want to go to massachusetts but i dont. My brother cant go because he just got out of the hostpital for a breakdown becasue my aunt died on easter and drugs and stuff. I always am scared my dads going to die from smoking. I dont know ..
This year has been really hard for me since easter and on.
My aunt died
My brother went to the hosptial for a month
and my dad smoking.
Whats going on and what can i do?
Should i go to massachusetts, i dont want to let my family down. And i kinda do want to go
Please help!
(link)
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What's going on is you have decided to put the problems of the world on your shoulders!
You are becoming a first class worry wart. In fact, you are worrying so much that now you can't even enjoy this upcoming trip because you're afraid of what 'could' happen. Yikes! That means you're worrying about things that HAVEN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET too!
Slooooooooooow down. Take a breather.
Go ahead. Breathe in.........Breathe out......Breathe in........Breathe out.
I think you are looking at the things going on around you and want to fix everything. You CAN'T. All you can change is yourself. You don't have the power to change other people. You may help to guide them or support them, but they have to make the changes on their own. We can do what we can to help others, but at the end of the day, each person is responsible for the choices that they make in their lives.
So please, give yourself a break, wonderwoman.
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I recently just moved to Moore,Oklahoma from Henderson,Kentucky. Everything is different since I moved like on the line of a huge city. I'm so used to living in a small town. Now school is coming up,and Im going to a new school with new people. I want advice because last time I moved it was a disaster. The school I went to was horrible, it was so bad that I wanted to kill myself(no one say I'm emo, i didnt cut myself). No one talked to me and I had no friends, i didnt talk to anyone and no one talked to me. Unless they were going to pick on me. I talked to my mom's friend, who is really friendly and has a bunch of friends. But I'm just so scared of another school that was so horrible that I want to kill myself. What should I do?
P.S. srry if it was a bit long. (link)
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Adding to follow up on your response:
Work on your self-confidence. See if you can find a counselor to help with this. You can also talk with your parents about it or anyone else that you trust and believe will have some wise advice for you. Read books about people that you admire and model yourself after them.
And remember, people will usually see you as you see yourself, and treat you as you treat yourself! If you see yourself as a loser, so will other people. But if you see yourself as a winner, then others will too.
So if you want friends, you need to start by being a friend to yourself. Stop being so hard on yourself and start believing that you can do it.
Think of it this way- if someone ELSE posted this up here and YOU WERE GIVING THEM ADVICE what would you say???
Would you still believe that they couldn't do it and the situation hopeless? My guess is that you would have a more positive outlook and be encouraging....so you need to use that same outlook and give some of that same encouragment to YOURSELF!
You CAN do it. And you will.
Just make up your mind that you will succeed and you will. The way you're thinking now, if that doesn't change your fears will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't know what that means look it up.
Take care,
Ruby
Find a club, sport, hobby or group that you are interested in and join up! It's a great way to meet other people that have similar interests and you just might make some good friends.
And try coming out of your shell a bit- be confident, talk to people.
You can also talk with the school counselor and ask him / her for help in getting acclimated to your move. They may have some other good suggestions.
And listen, none of this talk of it being so horrible that you wanted to kill yourself. At that age, everything seems so terrible, like it's the end of the world. And then when you get older (like me:0) you realize that those problems were really much ado about nothing.
Enjoy this time. Go have fun!
Think of it this way, you get to start over on a clean slate. No one at this new school knows a thing about your past (unless you have met some people already). So you can totally re-invent yourself! You can be whoever you want to be.
Use this as an opportunity to be a new you!
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I have no inspiration to write lyrics for my songs anymore. I used to be able to write and write without even having to think. The words used to flow. However, lately it seems like I have nothing to say. I don't really have any problems in my life to write about, and I'm not in love. Can anyone inspire me? Or tell me how to get inspired? Thank you so much. (link)
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Try journaling. Sometimes really interesting things come out that you didn't even realize were there until you started writing.
Or...you can try just doing free writing. That's when you just write anything that comes to mind- anything at all. Even if it doesn't make sense. It helps to get your creative juices flowing. The trick is though not to think of spelling or grammar or censor yourself in any way.
You can also write about fantasies, dreams. You don't have to write about things that are real.
A walk in nature is always good too. Sometimes you can be inspired by the tiniest thing. There is so much poetry in nature.
If none of that helps, start reading some of the great poets- (music after all IS poetry) and maybe some of their words will inspire you.
Well- that's all that I can think of. Hope one of them works for you! :-)
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ok well i just got my hair cut. i liek the hair just not the color.
thats a pic of me with my hair
http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p289/dionnespicy/CIMG3582.jpg
what color should i dye it? and how should i dye it? i was thinking a few different colors or something. thanx (link)
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I saw your comment but didn't see a way to reply, so I'm just answering the question again.
You could go with red, but personally I think a caramel color would look great with your skin tone. You know, like sort of a honey kind of color? Not brown, not blonde, not orange, but something in between. The only way I can describe it would be caramel. I think that's your best bet. And since your hair is kind of dark, if you don't want it to come out too orangy then either go with an 'ash' color or add some DRABBER to the mix. Drabber will reduce the orange / gold tones.
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Okay... well I'm not trying to get any religious views, or have anyone change my mind or anything like that... but I've always had a hard time figuring out what to believe in. I went to a Catholic school when I was younger [only cause it was right down my street though, haha] and neither of my parents are very religious... infact, they hardly are at all. But I never know what to believe. Like, I don't want to not believe in God... cause if there even is a "Hell" I don't want to go there and burn for all of eternity haha. Now, I don't really think there is [well I'm not even sure what to believe... there's so much I can learn about] but what if there is? I'll never know for sure. So basically, I'm just always worrying about things like that and I never know what to think =/ now don't like, try to call me stupid and naiive or anything, cause it's not my fault that there's 9857285 religons. Usually I just try to live my life being a good person... cause there's really no religon that looks donw upon that... That's what my mom always says anyway. "If there is a God or a whatever, as long as I spend my life being a good person, I'll be fine" So that's what I try to live by. [religon-wise]. What do you think? (link)
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The 'just being a good person' philosophy is called secular humanism.
Try exploring different views and see if one fits you. Unless you believe all the dogma you don't have to decide this today- and worry that if you don't and heaven forbid, you should get hit by a bus tomorrow your sould would not go to heaven.
So take it easy. Take your time. See what's out there. If there's something that has your name on it- then great. If not, find something that does fit with your values and go with that.
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i'm not fat, i'm not skinny, but my hips are way disproportional to my body. they're so wide. if i lose weight, will they get skinnier? it doesn't make sense to me that they would since they're bone. (link)
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They may, or they may not. But hey, if that's your biggest concern right now, I'd say you're doing pretty darned good!
No one is going to be perfect, on the inside or the outside. So just be happy with what you have, no matter what it is and make the best of it.
There are many fashion tips that can help you look more proportioned. Such as tops that have a little more to them to help you balance out- a blazer with a little shoulder padding, etc. You can check these out and they may make you feel more comfortable about your overall look.
But all in all, just have fun and enjoy yourself! You only get one life.
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I'm coming onto the 1 year anniversary of my fiancee's death. She was 27, but after 1 year, I still can't get over her. I had waited almost 30 years for someone like her, and she was the love of my life. I'm a wreck, and I don't know what to do. Is this normal? What can I do? (link)
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You already have some great answers, so I don't have much to add.
But, just so that you know, anniversaries can be very hard for any tragic / traumatic event. So chances are, you are feeling even worse with the anniversary coming around. This is normal.
But things will not be this hard forever, they will start to slowly get better. Hang in there, I know that it's hard, but she wouldn't want you to be in pain. She would want you to be happy. Try thinking of that when times are really bad. It might help alleviate some of what you are going through.
Sorry I can't give you any better advice, but there is no magic answer for this type of thing.
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i've been molested, as a child. it happened often and i've tried so hard to block it out but now i feel like it defines me. nobody knows, i can't say anything nobody will believe me. everybody will hate me. he ruined me. i picture how my life would be if it never happened, the way i am now is horrible. i make so many mistakes just trying to make myself feel better but nothing works. i dont know what to do, i cant talk to anybody. im 16, this happened the summer going into 5th grade then into the year.
nothing makes it go away i don't know what to do i want to die so badly. (link)
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It pains me to read your letter.
Oh, I wish I could sit down with you and have a long, long talk with you to help you work through this. But since I can't do that, let me ask you to please do this for yourself- talk to a counselor or professional about what is going on.
I'm sure that you don't know who to trust right now, you're maybe even afraid to talk about it or not sure if it will even help....but BELIEVE ME it WILL, and you MUST talk with someone.
This event has got your mind all twisted, and you don't even realize it- that is why you need to talk with someone. Your belief that you are ruined is not correct. It's also not true that people will hate you or not believe you.
And the fact that you are mentioning suicidal thoughts only underscores why you MUST see professional help IMMEDIATELY. If you feel suicidal, call a suicide hotline or 911.
But even if you are not suicidal you still need counseling to get you back to a healthy state of mind. Please look around on the internet or call local social service agencies, etc. to find a counselor that you can speak with. It's the only way to escape this mess.
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my fiance attempted suicide after his business collasped and financial difficulties putting a huge stress on our relationship over a period of a year, he was admitted to a pyhsciatric hospital voluntary for approx 3 wks. I hv visited on a couple of occasions but find it really difficult, l dont know what to say or do, l want to give him a cuddle but find it really difficult. I hate going to the hospital and l just dont know how to handle this whole situation, l think about what it will be like when he comes home, how will l handle that, l think will it ever be the same again, l would like to know how other people handle this situation please and would appreciate any advice. THANKYOU (link)
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I don't know if you are aware of this, but men in particular tend to derive their self-worth from their job and their ability to 'provide' for their family. Therefore, when something happens with their job they are much more effected then women (I'm speaking generally here, obviously, but there are reports to substantiate this).
So, your fiance may be prone to depression already, and then the job troubles just sent him over the edge.
I'm telling you this so you can understand, and try not to harbor resentment towards him for his attempted suicide. Also, it will be good for him to know this as well to try to prevent a future relpase into depression. He (and maybe you too) should get some counseling. And they are probably already trying out diffferent meds on him. Be patient, it can take time to find the right meds- but most people do get better with treatment.
As for you dealing with this, if you love him then be strong and hang in there. You may find yourself having problems one day and would want him to be there for you wouldn't you?
As long as he's trying to get better and making that effort- I would support him. Nobody is perfect and real love doesn't come by very often.
OF course, this is my opinion, you have to decided what you can deal with.
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