First of all i really like your advice. You give great advice. I was wondering, if you have any tips to overcoming shyness? ANYTHING is greatly appreciated. Thanks !
Well thanks for the compliment!
Shyness is tough. It's generally best to take things slowly. For instance, you might try just by smiling at random people that you see. That alone helped me gain more confidence, and the response is almost always positive. They'll often say hi, too, and that gives you a chance to say hello back. It's simple, but it can be hard, I totally realise that. It's helped me, though.
If you get comfortable doing that, you might even say hello first. If they smile, it's a good indication that they're receptive to your greeting.
In school, you might try volunteering to answer a few more questions. When you get comfortable with that, you might even try asking the teacher something. It's especially wise if you don't understand it, but even if you do, you might want to ask for clarification just to practice.
If you see someone sitting alone in the cafeteria, approaching them might not be too intimidating. Recognise that you might eventually get rejected, but that it doesn't make you any less of a person. Chances are, most people will welcome you.
If you do any volunteering, you might be able to approach people in that venue. If you could find a place to volunteer, that would be good too--it automatically means you share similar interests! Try and find a place where you would be comfortable, for instance an animal shelter.
Simple things like thanking a salesperson might help too. When I was really shy, I would try to thank the bus driver, and it helped develop my confidence. Plus, the driver seemed to appreciate it!
Take any small opportunity that presents itself. A friendly gesture almost always gets a friendly response, which leads to more confidence and a positive experience in general. And hey, the fact that you're able to communicate your shyness online is a good sign! Wanting to work on something takes guts, further proof that you have the guts to change it.
Best of luck to you.
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Im kelly 14/f.I found out that i was bi-sexual about 3 months ago.I really don't want to be bi but i just can't help it.I want to know if i should tell my mom i am or just keep it to myself till im older just to be sure im bi?
If you're really bothered and want to talk about it with your mom, then go for it. But if you don't particularly want to discuss it at this point, I don't see any reason why you need to tell her.
It's really up to you, but you shouldn't feel pressured to tell her at this point because it's not really anyone's business but your own. If you eventually want to date another female, you'll have to deal with it then. But in the meantime, it doesn't matter who knows, really.
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So I know its illegal to have sex with someone over 18 if you are a minor... no big deal, we both are very strict about the wait till you aare married thing and i will not let my guard down. my quaetion is, is it still illegal if we date and i am a minor and he is 18 but we do not have sex or anything?
Good for you for being responsible about it, and it sounds like your boyfriend is just as committed.
As long as you don't have sex, you're fine. If you have a huge age gap, you might want to be careful that you don't get totally hung up on the guy and miss out on other chances to be a teen, but it's ultimately up to you, and if you truly believe you love him, more power to you.
:0)
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ok so im gonna get my cartilage pierced at Claires tomorro for my birthday..They pierces it with a gun and i heard that bad..but how bad is it what will happen if its done with a gun??
It's interesting that you gave a low rating to the person who told you it wasn't a good idea when she was in fact correct.
Guns are not safe for lobes, although they are acceptable. They are absolutely unacceptable for anything else.
To start with, "professionals" at Claire's are trained on teddy bears for a very short period of time. They don't really know proper procedure or much of anything really.
It is impossible to sterilize a piercing gun. Because of the way the parts work, minute amounts of spray and skin will remain on the gun. Add that to the fact that a "piercer" will often handle the gun, use the marker on your ears, set their hands down on unclean surfaces, and then touch everything they're using for the piercing, well, it's less than sanitary.
The piercing gun essentially forces a relatively blunt object through your ear. It's not as precise or as controlled as a needle. If it's done incorrectly, it can actually shatter your cartilage. You're much more open to infection, which can make your cartilage collapse.
Piercing guns are not safe. The so-called professionals have little training and some previous workers have even talked about how limited their training is.
It's not a good idea. Find a place that will do it right. Your ear will thank you, and in the long run, your wallet may thank you too.
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are all advcicenators in here under the age of 19 ?
Nope, I'm 20.
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There is this book called Cut by Patricia McCormick. Can anyone who has read it tell me how they liked it or if anyone can find me reviews online
Is this book worth reading
I thought it was disappointing and rather unrealistic. Most of the people I've talked to that have read it, however, have enjoyed it.
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i have a 5 page term paper due.
its on how greek archetecture, litature and art relfects culture and manhood and womanhood.
my microsoft word just expired and i dotn no wat to do!!!!
besides the fact that im screwed for this term papperrr
HHHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP
http://www.openoffice.org/
My Microsoft Word was forever crashing and I finally got sick of it, so I sought an alternative. I totally, completely recommend Open Office.
It comes with everything Microsoft Office does (except slightly different, of course, but the programs do the same things), but it's totally free and totally safe. You can even save your files in .doc format if they're to be sent to someone else (.doc is Microsoft Word's native file format). It's never crashed on me, nor have any of the other programs it came with.
I highly, highly recommend it.
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for some reason, i woke up yesterday really really sore. Like my abs hurt, it hurt to laugh or cough. And my shoulders/arms are sore too.. i dont know why. I havent worked out for a while now... does anyone know why this happened? i'm woke up still sore today and when i tried stretching my abs really hurt. and i have practice later so i think it might hinder my performance. any advice?
Well there are a few reasons it might have happened.
You may have exercised more than usual yesterday without knowing it, or even changed your posture slightly. Those things might affect your muscles.
You might be getting the flu. Hopefully not, but the flu DOES tend to make a person sore beforehand (or at least it always has for me).
You might have been tense. If you're stressed out, you can unconsciously clench your muscles.
You might have slept in an awkward position. That can also be painful.
You didn't say what you have to practice, so there's a limit to how much I can help. Gentle stretching is definitely good. Doing a FEW crunches can also help, just enough to supple out.
I would suggest taking it as easy as possible for the rest of the day. Rest as much as you can. Maybe take a warm bath or shower.
Hope you feel better soon!
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I keep doing it! like just eating foods for no reason. like sometimes i'll have things like too many apples, just cause they taste good, or other foods, just cause they taste good,when im not really hungry. i always try to stop it, and tell myself that i wont do it anymore, but i keep doing it! And im gaining a little pounds.. i mean i do sports so im not getting that fat, but like i dont wanna be unhealthy and get diabetes possibly. how can i stop this habit? i really want to.. but its hard. i mean, we mostly have healthy food at my house, but sometimes i'll just overeat especially when im like watching tv cuz theres nothing better to do but eat when you do that. and its hard to do stuff outside cuz of the snow, so besides sports i cant really do anything, like on a normal day besides on the computer or watching tv. when im on the comp, its in the basement so im not really tempted to get something to eat or really leave the chair for a while (this is another habit.. i stay too long online! like i think i've stayed online all night 3-4 times in my life. or i'll stay on for a long time.. especially if i have hw on the computer i get so distracted!!! could staying online like this make me gain more weight?) echh please help with my problems.. i try to stop, but i just end up doing it over again.. :/ also how many meals are you supposed to have in one day? THANKS!
It's recommended that you have multiple small meals throughout the day rather than one or two big ones (I've heard five mentioned, but whatever works for you without giving you an overload of calories).
As far as binging goes, it's not easy to deal with. It's good that you're starting to identify your triggers, such as watching tv. Could you take up something like knitting that would use your hands and keep them busy, without having to have food in them? Can you make a stern rule for yourself that you simply will not eat in front of the television?
One thing I've heard that helps is before a binge, write down what time of day it is, what you're doing, and perhaps most important, how you feel. When you've done that for a few weeks, you might be able to notice a pattern, and it might even stop you from binging because it forces you to hold off for long enough to jot the information down.
Good luck. It's a tough thing to do, but the first step is to acknowledge that it's something you need to deal with.
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Ok, why do those type of kids, act like they HATE getting judged, & they HATE when people are mean to them because they dont even know them? & why do they put people down [like preppy kids..or just kids who like abercrombie] & then get all mad if you do something like that to them?
like, one. i don't know really any people that much that are mean to goth kids or whatever.
but those goth/emo kids, seem like they do it constantly to preppier kids.
why is thaT?
whats their problem? its bugging me.
i never did or said anything to them, for them to be mean to me.
There are bad apples in every crowd. There are hypocritical "preps" and hypocritical "goths" and hypocritical everything elses. Ignore them and worry about yourself. You can't change them, but you can make sure you set a good example.
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My best friend is an atheist. I am a Christian. I've asked my youth minister how to help convert him. Every time we get on the subject, he says CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE? And won't even hear what I have to say. Most of you might say "Just accept it." But because of my religion, when I'm in Heaven for all eternity and my best friend is in Hell, Its going to really suck. I need someway to talk to him without him refusing. I know all I can do is try to convert him, but I'm really being eaten away by this. He said he was saved when he was little, and I know if you're saved, you go to Heaven, but this is like UGH. If he's saved, and has changed his mind, how does that work? Also, I think he changed his mind because of "certain influences" at school. So how do I kindly put my point of view of Christianity to him, without offending him or causing him to hate me?
His religious beliefs aren't your business. You've tried to talk to him and he's made it perfectly clear he's not interested.
Who are you to even say who will go to Heaven and Hell? Only God can decide that. Judge not, lest ye be judged. I doubt God appreciates you proclaiming that you're automatically going to Heaven and your friend is condemned to Hell. Only He can decide that, assuming He exists.
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Was Kurt a happy guy,or was he sad?This is something that's always bothered me,because I've heard that he was generally a fairly happy (or at least average)person,but I've also heard that he was upset with his life and felt very isolated (which would make sense because of his lyrics,his upbringing,and the crowd that he was trying to reach).I know that no one could really know for sure,but what do you think?
Some people speculate that he was bipolar. That would account for some of his "ups" and his "downs." But from the sounds of things, it was the downs that ultimately got to him. No one who's content kills himself.
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Do girl cats bleed every month? Like, do they have a period, like humans?
Most cats have been spayed, which removes their reproductive organs and therefore they no longer menstruate. Female cats that are not spayed, however, do indeed menstruate.
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So I'm a cutter. As in, cutting my wrists and legs. I'm in therapy (so obviously my parents know about it). I had been clean for about 3 weeks, and since just 2 days ago, I started cutting again. Not to the point where I'm making my self bleed or anything, but it seems to numb my pain. It's like an addiction. Does anyone have any tips on how I can focus my thoughts somewhere else besides on self-injury?
First of all, I'm glad you're getting help.
This is something you should probably discuss with your therapist, if you haven't already. She can offer coping mechanisms tailored specifically to your personality.
That said, some things helped me.
Make yourself accountable. Decide that if you hurt yourself, you have to tell someone. That worked better than anything else did for me.
Do something else with your hands. I love knitting, and it keeps my hands occupied (although it's never been related to SI for me). It also allows you to do something productive, and gives you something to totally focus on.
Exercise. It gets the endorphins going, which are natural anti-depressants. Depending on the type of exercise, it can also get you away from sharp objects (I've always found going for a walk helpful because it's quiet and gives you time to think, and keeps you away from what's stressing you out).
Play a fast-paced video game. When I used to get really frustrated, I would find a computer action game that would get my adrenaline pumping, and soon I forgot all about what was upsetting me.
Take a warm bath, just make sure you don't have a razor with you. It's comforting and a good way to de-stress.
Basically, keep busy, get yourself away from what's bothering you if at all possible, and treat yourself gently.
Good luck.
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does anyone know if there's like a reason jt got killed off degrassi. like in real life. like was ryan a bad actor or something? did it have anything to do with ryan?
The general rumour is that he wanted to focus on university, and other projects. I'm not sure whether or not that has been confirmed.
However, it was his choice to leave, regardless of the reason.
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Many people told me I switch moods way to quickly. I only do this around my friend austin, i dont know why but I do? Am I manic depressive? I dont want to ask my parents or a doctor? I do change moods sometimes, however I can get sad when something bad goes wrong or i get sad?
No one here can diagnose you, nor can you diagnose yourself.
There are online tests but they can't diagnose you either.
If you really think this is a problem, you need to see a doctor. He or she can prescribe medication that will help you. Manic Depression is not something you can turn on and off at will, so medication is almost a must if you are actually diagnosed.
If you're concerned, see a doctor. Otherwise, don't worry about it--you're a teenager, and teenagers have mood swings.
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What would happen if you devoured like 3 bottles of pills?
It depends on what kind they are.
Best case scenario, you get a stomach ache. Worst case, you die, slowly and painfully.
So, you'd really have to be more specific, but I don't recommend it regardless.
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Is there any websites or anything where you can find out other peoples passwords?
for IM screen names? THANX!!!!!!
Not unless they were stupid enough to put their own password on a website.
What you're asking about would be illegal.
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Hello my name is Emily and I am 22 from Canada. I found your culumn and felt that you were a good person to ask this too.
I have been a sufferer of mental illness for most of my life. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Lately my paranoia and impulsivity have been ruining my life. All aspects of it. My significant other is deciding whether he wants to stay with me or not because I have hurt him twice due to my extreme paranoia and distrust issues. I was abused when I was young and I have been abandoned, so I have lots of past demons there. Ok onto my question do you have any suggestions how I can relieve or prevent my paranoia from getting in the way of my life as much? Are there any coping skills or techniques that you know of that could help me in times of major worry and/or absent mindedness? I want to be able to trust and prevent these symptoms from further destroying all aspects of my life.
I am on medication which can only help so much. I write in a diary. I am in occasional counseling still waiting for the psychiatrist.
Anything else you can maybe recommend?
Thanks you so much!
Emily
I'm sorry you have to deal with this; no one deserves this kind of pain.
Counselling is definitely a good idea. The more, and the sooner, the better.
Have you explained to your SO that you recognise you have difficulties and that you're trying to overcome them? If you haven't, I'm sure it would probably help, and even if you have, you might want to remind him again.
Depending on how your behaviours are impacting you, you might want to take different action. If it's repeated thoughts, finding something else to focus on might help. I know it's not always possible, but if you can find something that takes your attention away from what you're worried about, it can help. I have various issues I struggle with, and when the thoughts are too intrusive, it helps to pick up my knitting needles. If it's a pattern where I have to count stitches, I can't really focus on anything else. Plus it keeps my hands busy and provides a physical outlet for tension.
Journaling is good; I'm glad that you're rocognising and acknowledging that the feelings are there. Being aware of them and admitting to them is the most important step.
Exercise is great. It gets endorphins flowing, so it's almost a natural anti-depressant, and it can help with anxiety as well. You'll feel better about yourself and you'll have another physical outlet.
You might want to look in your area to see if there are any support groups. If you attend one, however, be sure it will be beneficial. Many support groups are great, but some turn into little more than complaining and commiserating, and thus have no positive effect.
Try to recognise irrational thoughts and explore what might be causing them. For example, if you see your SO talking with another girl, and you automatically think he's going to leave you, ask yourself why. Is it that you don't feel pretty enough? Is it that you think you're boring? Then remind yourself of the positives. I'm sure your SO has said some really nice things about you, so try to keep them in mind.
I don't know a whole lot about BPD and PPD, unfortunately. All I can offer are vague suggestions. You might also want to look for self-help books for what you're dealing with.
But in all that I have read, it said that it's often difficult to get a patient to see that she does indeed have something that needs attention. I absolutely commend you for that.
I sincerely wish I could be more help, but I wish you the very best of luck. I truly believe that you can get through this.
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I really need to lose like 10 lbs. I want to do it unhealthy. I told my mom and she was like ok. So please help me. Because I need tips to resist food.
I sincerely hope that was a typo and that you didn't mean to say you want to lose weight in an unhealthy manner. Because if that is what you said, you need help beyond what anyone here can offer you.
Don't resist food; choose better food. Fruits and veggies, leaner cuts of meat. Exercise is just as important as what you eat, if not more so.
It's really a matter of balance. If you starve yourself, you'll gain the weight back eventually because you'll start eating again, and nothing will have changed. If you make lifestyle changes, and they don't have to be huge, you'll keep the weight off and feel better about yourself.
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