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How Do I Relieve Paranoia and Impulsivity
Hello my name is Emily and I am 22 from Canada. I found your culumn and felt that you were a good person to ask this too.
I have been a sufferer of mental illness for most of my life. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Lately my paranoia and impulsivity have been ruining my life. All aspects of it. My significant other is deciding whether he wants to stay with me or not because I have hurt him twice due to my extreme paranoia and distrust issues. I was abused when I was young and I have been abandoned, so I have lots of past demons there. Ok onto my question do you have any suggestions how I can relieve or prevent my paranoia from getting in the way of my life as much? Are there any coping skills or techniques that you know of that could help me in times of major worry and/or absent mindedness? I want to be able to trust and prevent these symptoms from further destroying all aspects of my life.
I am on medication which can only help so much. I write in a diary. I am in occasional counseling still waiting for the psychiatrist.
Anything else you can maybe recommend?
Thanks you so much!
Emily
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
You're right - medication can only help so much. In fact, most things you try will only help 'so much'...it's unlikely you will find one way that fits your needs so perfectly that you don't need anything else.
In order to try to heal on a deep level, I would suggest regular, long-term counselling (in addition to your medication, not in place of). This means seeing a qualified counsellor (not a social worker, etc) every week for an hour. This could be quite challenging to anyone, particularly if you have issues around trust. Long-term counselling allows you to have a chance to experience a different way of being - no abuse, no abandonment, no judgement. It also allows you to experiene building a healthy relationship, openly discussing your fears, paranoia, and impulsivity with another person.
A psychiatrist will likely be more focused on your illnesses (and therefore medication), while a counsellor is interested in who you are - not what labels you wear.
A diary is also a great thing. Perhaps you could also try other creative therapies - a visual journal (using crayons, collage, painting), painting, gardening, music, etc. Alternative therapies also help some people, as does spirituality. It's really about finding a combination of things suitable for you and your needs.
In terms of immediate things you can do when in a situation that triggers behaviours you don't want to do, it can be more tricky. Something you may want to look into is called 'grounding techniques.' These can be as simple as carrying something small in your pocket to squeeze or help you focus, specific movements a counsellor might be able to teach you (sorry, hard to explain online), tapping parts of your body, etc.
One thing you can do to help ground yourself more in reality is by listing five things you can see, five things you can hear, and five things you can feel. Then do four, three, two, one. This is an excellent way to help ground yourself when you are feeling out of control or uncontainable.
Please let me know if you need any more advice. I wish you the best.
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I'm sorry you have to deal with this; no one deserves this kind of pain.
Counselling is definitely a good idea. The more, and the sooner, the better.
Have you explained to your SO that you recognise you have difficulties and that you're trying to overcome them? If you haven't, I'm sure it would probably help, and even if you have, you might want to remind him again.
Depending on how your behaviours are impacting you, you might want to take different action. If it's repeated thoughts, finding something else to focus on might help. I know it's not always possible, but if you can find something that takes your attention away from what you're worried about, it can help. I have various issues I struggle with, and when the thoughts are too intrusive, it helps to pick up my knitting needles. If it's a pattern where I have to count stitches, I can't really focus on anything else. Plus it keeps my hands busy and provides a physical outlet for tension.
Journaling is good; I'm glad that you're rocognising and acknowledging that the feelings are there. Being aware of them and admitting to them is the most important step.
Exercise is great. It gets endorphins flowing, so it's almost a natural anti-depressant, and it can help with anxiety as well. You'll feel better about yourself and you'll have another physical outlet.
You might want to look in your area to see if there are any support groups. If you attend one, however, be sure it will be beneficial. Many support groups are great, but some turn into little more than complaining and commiserating, and thus have no positive effect.
Try to recognise irrational thoughts and explore what might be causing them. For example, if you see your SO talking with another girl, and you automatically think he's going to leave you, ask yourself why. Is it that you don't feel pretty enough? Is it that you think you're boring? Then remind yourself of the positives. I'm sure your SO has said some really nice things about you, so try to keep them in mind.
I don't know a whole lot about BPD and PPD, unfortunately. All I can offer are vague suggestions. You might also want to look for self-help books for what you're dealing with.
But in all that I have read, it said that it's often difficult to get a patient to see that she does indeed have something that needs attention. I absolutely commend you for that.
I sincerely wish I could be more help, but I wish you the very best of luck. I truly believe that you can get through this.
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