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Such a Mess
This is a very long question because i have alot to explain so please be ready for quite a long read.
It all started a few months ago when a college mate was becomming very desperate to get a gf, he was asking people left right and center and then was rejected almost every time until he met this girl. From what i can guess she didn't want to reject him like he had been before and after two days told my friend "she wasn't ready for a relationship right now" this completely destroyed my friend and he spent weeks getting over her until finally he started his search all over again. i wasn't exactly heppy over this fact because it seemed to me that every so often he would complain about how "he was never going to get a gf" and stuff like that. I tried my best to help him and tell him that he was looking in all the wrong places. This went on for a few more weeks but while this was going on I ended up talking more and more to the girl and we became pretty good freinds. She helped me through a breakup i had recently gone through. The problem occured when i realised i was developing feelins for this girl so i ended up talking more and more to her. This put a serious strain on my friendship with my friend because I soon found out he was not over her yet and had been talking to her while i had been. After a while of this she told me she had feelings for me and i told her i felt the same way. Things with my freind got very bad here up to the point where we stopped talking but i couldn't just ignore what i was feeling for this girl. She told me she would go out with me if it wasn't for my friend and maybe she would later on when he got over her. I knew she didn't want to hurt my friend and i was half expecting her to say it but it didn't make it any easier. She also told my freind at this point she wouldn't take things any further with me but i didn't find this out til later through one of my other friends. Time passed and me and her got alot more friendly with each other and we were always talking and stuff. I didn't know what to think at this point because I felt very confused about what she was telling me and what she was doing. Then one tuesday (i'll always remember that tuesday, it was the worst day of my life) at the end of what had been a good day (she had borrowed my jumper because of the cold) after class i waited outside her room and walked her to her buss then did wha i normally did to get home. After getting home i went up to my room and turned on my laptop, signed in msn (the usual stuff) and kept a close eye on it incase she signed in, I stayed up til 3 in the morning in case she came on but she didn't so i justsorta fell asleep. The next day i was so tired and worried because i didn't know what had happened (she usually caem online at some point) but it was wednessday so i never saw her then later I was on msn and she came online. she told me in painful detail about this boys house she went around on tuesday. I kept thinking to myself why she was telling me these things and whether she realised how much she was hurting me. A few days after this she came up to me with tears in her eyes telling me that this guy had told her he only wanted a bit of fun with her and never cared about her. I couldn't help but feel a little happy about this and that made me feel terrible about myself. I hated that i was taking joy in someone elses misery. Things went on and soon we were almost back where we started until one day she told me that "she didn't want another relationship". I was too blind to see that this was exactly what she had done to my friend before. I thought about it and said i still wanted to be freinds but I wish so much i had just walked away right then because it would have saved me from the worst pain i have ever felt. This went on for a little while and I realised that she had a thing for the guy who had hurt her before and he aparently wanted a real relationship now. I asked her repeatedly if she liked him and it hurt more and more each time because i knew she was lieing to me. Eventually i got her to admit the truth and i just couldn't take it. I walked away to around the corner and blacked out. according to my friends I acted normal during this time but i couldn't remember any of it. I later learned this was due to stress.
This is where i am now, it's been a month since all this happened and for the most part i'm over it. That is to say that you wouldn't know from looking at me what i'm feeling inside but every night i cant even sleep because every time i close my eyes I relive those painful moments again and again. I havent had a good nights sleep since this happened. I cant even see anything that reminds me of her without the tears welling up in my eyes and I have to make some excuse to leave. MY question is what do i do, because I cant keep this up for much longer and also is it a good idea to move on? even if i still feel this way?
I need serious help and any suggestions would be much appreciated. If your still awake after reading that please give me any thoughts because i am completely lost.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First off, a girl is never worth losing a friend to. Girls come & go, but friends are forever.
Second, if you noticed the pattern in what she did to your friend, she did it to you too. You should've realized right then that she was not the one.
The best way to move on is to just give it time. It could take a long time, or it could take a short period of time. But no matter what, time heals everything.
Rekindle the friendship with your friend, and drop this girl like a bad habit.
♥T!NA
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Wow! that was long and painful. First.. at least now you know how your friend felt while he was trying to get over her. But umm back to you. I think you can do better than her. Don't try too hard to get over her because then you wouldn't be able to forget her. The more you're trying to forget her, the more memories of her will pop up in your head. Just let it go easily. If her image pops up .. don't fight it. Think of the good memories instead of painful ones. Then .. in time .. she'll just be part of your memory and life goes on. It will be hard.. at times you would feel like she need her and want her and how much pain she putted you through. But you need to be strong about it. Ask yourself if she is worth your time? tears? love? .. if she hurts you like this.. and she doesn't care about you or give you the time of her day.. do you think she's worth while?. Even if you have her now.. knowing that she'll screw you over for another guy. You'll be back from the beginning trying to get over her and in pain all over again. DO YOU THINK ITS WORTH IT??.
.. I suggest you should have fun, go on with your daily life. Try to hang out with other girls for a while. Don't talk or see her for a while until you're over her. Choose friendship over girls. Seriously nothing is worth more than friendship. When that girl left you.. all you have left is that friend of yours. He'll always there for you no matter what. But that girl comes and go.. didn't last forever. So just try your best to be happy and not be too stress over a girl who doesn't worth your time. One of these days there will be a right girl who comes along and brighten up your day.
hope I helped.. good luck with everything .. and get your life back on track =].
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