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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
God. You really have no idea how many times I have been blamed for something I didn't do. Like 2 weeks ago someone (not me) cut the seatbelts on the bus and threw out the airfreshener. And there comes the vice principal looking for me and he told me that I did it. Which I obviously didn't. I have done things that made me get in trouble. I did that like 5 times. And yes I did bad stuff then. But that was in 6th grade. I'm now in 8th.
So, he was talking to me and telling me how I shouldn't of done that. And hes blaming me for everything. He doesn't care about my side of the story. I've tried talking to him but he wouldn't lissten. I told him he was a liar, because it's true. He didn't care.
How should I show him i've changed from being a bad @$$ to a good person?? I'm thinking about going to my councelor and telling her about it.
Well, first I think that you're doing the right thing when you say that you're going to your school counselor, and I know that you may disagree with me but I do think that you need to tell your parents before he tells them. If you don't tell your parents, your parents will find out and they'll more likely listen to him because you didn't confront them first about his false accusations. Just tell them the truth and that you really didn't do it. He probably believes that you did it because of your past actions and some people have a really hard time believing in the best of people when they have changed. You really must understand that people just have a hard time adjusting to change and yes it's stupid. Also, what you must understand and it's also what you know too, is that the councelors have absolutely no authority over the principal at your schoo. You could explain your case then you could ask her to try and persuade the principle of your innocence with her opinion of what you said to her. Keep trying no matter how many times he doesn't listen. Keep trying.
my boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago..due to..extreme differences we'll say. we hadn't really talked in person since..a few words at a party..a couple words at school. yesterday, he was holding the door open for my class who was going outside. i said thank you and he started talking to me. he told me that one of my favorite cds was on my teachers desk. i was like "really?" and he said "yeah, i'll show it to you later." that never happened..but that's besides the point..he was the one trying to talk to me. when we were outside i was in the front row on the bleachers and i turned around and he was looking it me. we made eye contact for a second and then he looked up to the sky. haha. then last night i go on myspace..and he commenting saying that we haven't hung out in a while and we should make some time to...we talked about still being friends after we broke up...but i wasnt sure that that was going to happen since we hadnt talked in a while. i convinced myself that i didnt care if i ws ever friends with him..but now i'm thinking..maybe it wouldnt be so bad. i like his friends so i would get to see them more out of the deal too. hahaha. but do you think there alterior motives underneath the friendship thing..like you don't think this means he misses me and would want to get back together, right?
No, I don't think that there are alterior motives behind this but I do feel that he loves you a lot beyond friendship and that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing to have someone to love you so much. I think that you should definitely go for it because he wants to be around you. He wants to talk to you, and he wants to see you. There's no harm in that at all. You really should go for it and then everything should be okay. Just try and follow your heart but I really do think that you should go for it when it comes to being friends with this guy. After all, you'll only be friends.
SO i'm leaving the country soon.. I'm planning to have a goodbye party. But i'm really stuck for ideas. I'm going to do this with my friend, cause we are leaving at the same time.. So yeah.. Any ideas on what we can do?? My driver can drive us to places so we can go anywhere.
You could choose a theme. Maybe imitating a play, or a movie, or a television show. Something that
you may enjoy depending on your type. If you like the kind of shows that have you wet and wild, why not have a party wet, wild, and costumes(or hot clothes resembling your theme) incorporated in the party. Music too , depending on your theme or your style, is a huge thing so you should really pay attention to that too. Maybe a theme for something that you really consider...fun. Listen, I know that I wasn't much help but I hope that I atleast was a little help. See yah later and have a nice day.
Dear Courtney,
PLease tell me wat i should do about this. ok well i started to like a guy about 2 weeks ago, and i mean really like him and well there is a girl that is always flirting with him. he also told me that he likes me to and wat i really hate is that this freaken girl is that she flirts with him alot. please tell me wat to do!!!!
P.S. Thanx !!
always,
sad girl
Well, what I have to say to you is, if you want him as your "official man" then you should get him. You should ask him out. You really can't get too angry with her because he's sort of a free agent. And you sort of wouldn't have any right to say anything to her about her flirtation. But if you were to ask him out, and she continued her flirtation(if he had said yes when you asked him out), then you would have nearly every right to approach her about it. You shouldn't pay her much attention though if he really doesn't favor her as much as he may favor you. You have to approach him and ask him out, or otherwise why even care so much. Take a risk, a chance and go for it. Or she will. Get over the initial fear because I definitely think that you have a chance. So go for it. And if not, try to talk to her calmly about it although I really don't think that that will work . Hope I was some help and have a nice day...
Hear is my problem I was friends with this girl for two and a half years then all of a sudden we are no longer friends. I mean she didn't tell me anything. I waited to see if I was going to hear from her but nothing no phone calls and she never came over my house again. I wrote her a letter and she never responded. I don't get it the last time I saw her was when she had a boyfriend. I use to work in a retail store and everytime I would see her she would be buying some things for a baby. So did she have a baby or is she just picking some things up for a friend. But if she did have a baby why would she want to stop being friends. I have another friend and she was also friends with her too but they keep in touch. I wish I knew what happen and how come she doesn't want to talk to me. At frist I thought it was because she had a boyfriend and so did my other friend and I was single. But that's no reason she should stop talking to me is it? Please help me we were such good friends and I would like to be again but I dont' know what to do.
You can keep speculating but that is all that you're doing. Speculating. If you want to find out the answers to your questions, perhaps you should ask her about it face to face. Don't force the issue and don't be aggressive with the issue, but make it where the issue shines with significance. Be patient and understanding . And you should prepare yourself for the possibility that she may not want to be friends. And that's alright because with time, people grow. And people change. So you do have a right to be angry IF she decides to end this friendship, but you'll have to move on and move forward with your life and respect her decision. JUST LIVE.
Husband doesn't care about other relationships. Said not to "cross the line". But unable to be there until retirement... in 20 or more years. Promised kids not getting divorce. Hubbie says it's not an option anyway. Fell in love and have relationship with another man. What to do. How do I deal day to day?
You have to think what is best for your happiness and for the childrens well being as well. If you feel that he is not setting a prime example for you and your children then you have every right not to want to be with him. If your children are young, they'll have to take time to get used to it and accept it. As they get older, trust me, they will understand. But if they're older, they'll get over it. They'll live and later on they will understand. Only time is what they need. But if you can suffice the situation, then I guess you should continue doing what you are doing except I don't think that you're happy doing what you're doing. Doesn't sounds like to me that this is what you signed up for. So what you have to ask yourself is," am I ready to gather the courage to have the kind of happy life that I want for myself?"
As I just thought, I decided to tell him i called him to discuss the matter he is still away for some time but tell u what he said( I wish its not what I think it is because I can't go through to what I hav'been not again thats the last thing I need now in my life, pls do'nt tell your sisters until we talked when I'm back,) so what do I say when we talk when he is back because I just lost words in a such way that what am I gonna say to my parents because if I did'nt have to say anthing to them I would know what to do without his opinion.
Don't plan so much. You're only allowing yourself to freak out more than necessary and when you do that you only make the situation worse. You just need to ponder what you feel about the issue/and or topic that you wish to discuss from the heart. It'll come to you when you need it and you should really ponder your feelings about this issue or topic. Don't sweat it too much.
what should i do.... today my boyfriend and i were fighting and i hit him... not to hard but he threw me down on the ground and hit me i think mabey 3 times... not hard... but enough to cut my ear open in 3 places... yea i know messed up... but ive been with him for 3 years and i love him to death and i cant leave him... thats not an option... what should i do?
You should talk to him about it. If this is the first time, then you should definitely talk to him about this. Talk to him and let him talk and get all the dirty laundry out there. Please, do not let this lead to another fist fight . This should be done very calmly and thought out rashionally. After this talk, and another physical fight occurs and he hits you, I'm sorry but you need to leave. Men that do stuff like that do not stop unless they receive help and even that isn't a 100% guarantee that he won't swing at you again.I don't care if you spent three years with this guy when it comes to the fact that he hits you, and if he does it again then you really shouldn't care either. Don't waste anymore years on him if he does it again because if he does it again then he doesn't deserve you.
I usually dont eat much. I eat maybe one small thing for breakfast and half of my lunch. I usually dont eat dinner. I usually exercise everything off if I eat a huge lunch or a huge dinner. I constantly worry about how much i weigh but im too scared to weigh myself cause im scared of the effect itll have on me. I usually exercise regularly. I run a mile a day, 30 pushups, 5 minute wall sit, and tons of other things. I'm also involved in Cheerleading so that kind of also is an excuse for me to exercise more often and burn off any fat. Ive been getting sick easier lately and idk why ive been sick for like 2 weeks now. Am i anorexic or what?
Oh also ive noticed my legs are smaller and so are my arms.. and ive noticed other things but i need oppinions i rate 5s. kthanxbye!
I don't think that you're anorexic but I think that you're seriously on the path of becoming one. You're showing developing symptoms of becoming one. For one, you're obsessed with losing weight and that's alright until you're absolutely 150% obsessing about it. You're getting sick which is calling your immune system and the white blood cells within you're body to weaken because they're not getting the proper nutrients, minerals, and vitamins that they need. They need to get this from food. You're making yourself really vulnerable to getting really and seriously sick and weight isn't worth all that. If you're really obsessive and addicted to losing weight, then you really should go to someone for help. If you're not that obsessive, force yourself to eat more and work a minimum amount of exercise a day. This is very serious and please, do not take this lightly.
I'm 21 just findout that I'm pregnant but they can't tell the month or weeks is it possible? problem the father I'm no longer dating him and I dont love him we used protection I dont know how did it happen I haven'nt even dating him for more than 3months I realized the relation would'nt work but we din't discuss verbaly, the main question is shall I tell him and the biggest problem he is already got a baby of 10months thats why I could'nt continue in with a relationshirp, and he said to me he regrets his child if there was a way he could have suggested abortion so now its me I really dont know what to do, and I've grown without knowing my father so I dont'wnt the same for my child tell what to do pls
He has every right to know and he should know. It's his responsibility now, as well as yours as you know, to see for this childs future. Who cares if he doesn't want this child for right now? It's his responsibility. He'll have to deal with it. But first, talk to him about it. Tell him that you're pregnant and then you need to get his view on how he's feeling about children or this child. Maybe he won't feel as bad as you think he may feel. Just talk to him about it. Tell him, no matter how much that he doesn't want to be a father, that this child really needs him and that it would be unfair to do this to a kid. Also, if you have to, tell him this can be settled legally or calmly, logically, and rashionally. Just make him listen.
Ugh I'm sick of it, my mom is seriously obsessed with sleeping pills. I'm really worried about her. Shr doesn't sleep if she doesn't take them and she doesn't sleep when she does take them. I already told her whats the point of taking the pills if you cant sleep and you can't sleep if you don't take any.
I think i want to bring to a drug rehab center.. Just because i'm worried about her. I want her to be with me for a really long time. Any ideas on how I can make her stop taking them?? She doesn't listen to me when I tell her to stop taking them..
Maybe you should search the pills that she is taking or simply the effects that sleeping pills could cause. Make her know what is going on and make her see how dangerous these things could really be if she continues to do as such. Do not begin this conversation in an aggressive manner because by that you won't get anywhere and I truly do mean this. Let her know that you really do care. Force the issue calmly. If she doesn't see reason, then that is her. I'm sorry. If she doesn't see reason, then the best thing you could do is tell a grandmother or grandfather, dad, uncle, aunt, her doctor. Someone that you can trust. Someone that's influential in your mothers life. Someone who could possibly make her see reason. Just talk to her about it but do not be surprised if that fails. It's natural and predictable. But if you talk to someone who's influential in your mother's life, then there is a good possibility that they'll get through to her more than you will.
I'm getting advice for my friend.. Ok, well my friend is going out with this great guy, adn when she told her mom that he liked her.. She ssaid taht she should only be friends with him.. How can she tell her mom they are going out without hurting her feelings???
She should very calmly try and talk and explain to her mom that he's a really nice guy and that he treats her with respect. She should also try to stress the issue of getting to know him and accepting the relationship a little. It'll take time but you need to tell her that they feel comfortable around each other and that's all that really matters.
First of all, lemme clear this up: I'm not a jealous person by any definition.
My roommate has a new boyfriend. He tends to spend a lot of time in our room, overnight and all. It's cute. However...
There are two things that bother me:
1- My boyfriend is way out of state for college, and I really miss him. He and I were a very touchy couple, and hugged and kissed all the time...I'm kinda missing his presence physically and psychologically. My roommate and her boyfriend tend to do a lot of that - it doesn't bother me, exactly, but it makes me miss him more, and my boy's pretty much gone from this state for good, 'cause he hates it here. I'm stuck here for about five years, however. Yes, I get to see him during vacations, but still...
Anyway. So it bothers me like hell when I have to like...watch them. I don't want to deprive her of that at all because I love my roomie like a sister, and I totally understand the feeling...but I almost want to talk to her about it. Should I?
Also, her boyfriend staying with us like, every night but one for about a week, is almost starting to bother me a bit. I like him and all, and he's usually very considerate, but they kind of...*ahem* did things...at like...five in the morning. Normally, I honestly wouldn't care and would find it kinda funny, but I'd had a headache all yesterday, and today is one of my crazy days (I worked my schedule out somehow that I don't get a break from classes until around 3.) So I really could've used the sleep.
We have bunk beds because we wanted more space in our dorm, but the downside is my bed shakes when hers does. >.<
It really bothers me that this bothers me...I'm usually an extremely tolerant person (probably moreso than I should be), but this is really...um, bothering me.
So I guess my question is...er, what do I say or do, and to whom do I direct it?
Please, no stupidity. I'll just rate you down. Thanks in advance :)
Maybe you should talk to her about it and the lonliness it makes you feel. I'm pretty sure she'd understand that much . Oh and tell her about how it's bothering you as well. You probably, although you might not want to, should leave for some hours when that guy comes around. It's not much but it's something you know.
do you believe that government should control education?
Yes I do but I do think that there should be two separate branches. One branch for the government and one for the people(parents, teachers, etc). To a certain extent/point, I do think that the government should be in control of education.
i play tennis and this summer i'm gonna try out for the high school i'm going to's tennis team. are there any tips that can help me be in better shape like condition and all that stuff? i am already in good shape but one of my friends who is a senior was telling me that if you were in good shape then it would be so much easier for two a days and all that stuff. got anything?
Well as long as you are fit, and are you a good volley player(come to the net). I tell you now, there's a coach that I know who likes to make the points as quick and short as possible. So if you can do that, then you're probably well off. Don't panick and don't override yourself with too much. Do your best and just don't overload. If you have skill , you have skill and there's a good possibility that you'll get onto the team. That's what practices are for too. You can go and learn to adapt. If it makes you feel any better, work with serves and angles at which you could hit the ball. Work on your weaknesses and if you can, turn them into your strengths. AYE, did yo see Federer and Agassi play. What did you think? Hope I was some help and have a nice day .
Hi, I would like to know simple exercises that I can do in my bedroom which will enhance my breasts and butt. I am a female and am so freakin flat on both ends that I feel masculine when I'm facing the mirror and just really disdain looking at my backside. Please help.
Thank you.
I don't think that there's any exercise that you can do for the breast you know. I don't even know if drinking milk will help but you should eat a lot of carbohydrates, bread preferably, if you want to get well endowed in the buttocks. Hope I was some help.
Okay, I'm curious as to what you all think about this.
My boyfriend tends to travel in the summer. The summer between 11th and 12th grade, he went to Vegas. The summer after that (this one), he went to Florida. Both times, I cried quite a bit (I also happened to be PMSing both times, I think, but I'm not sure if that actually has anything to do with it). On saturday, he left for Florida again, for college. This is the start of (essentially) a five-year separation. I know this, and it upsets me...but I didn't really cry. I mean, there were a couple of tears, which he adorably wiped away, but there weren't like..."storms of tears", as a friend would put it. I really don't understand why I'm not more upset about him being gone. I won't see him until mid-December, and I'm used to seeing him quite a bit. (We're a very clingy/touchy couple)
We're engaged, so I'm not worried about him going and finding some other girl. He was only home for about two weeks, one of which I was stuck at school for, so I only got to see him for...well, threeish days (I kidnapped him, kinda, and kept him in my dorm), and then about four hours on friday before he left.
Shouldn't I be more upset that we're separated?
I think part of the reason I'm not is because I told him to go. He's going to Full Sail, which I hear is an incredibly good tech-school-type-place, and I wanted him to go and get a jumpstart on his career. I don't do regret, so I don't regret telling him to go, but I miss him...
But at the same time, I'm not upset...like...at all.
What's going on in my head? (Not that you can actually answer that...but you can try, right?)
Please, no stupid answers or chatspeak. I'll only rate you down.
-Siren =)
You might not miss him as much as you think. The fact that you wrote and asked about this very much shows that you care for this guy and about him going away. Just because he's going away doesn't mean that you have to work yourself into a griefing state. It shows that you trust him and that is alright. Maybe you don't really care about him as much as you think. Hun, I can't tell you what is going on inside of your head. I don't know it but I do know that you're going to have to take a deep look within yourself and find out what the deal is. The perspective is not so desperate and destructive as you think. So just find out for yourself. It could be the fact that you are used to a long distance relationship. You're understandable and you can adjust. You'll figure it out it just will take time. I hope I was some help and have a nice day.
Ok how do you really know if a guys flirtting with you? Like this guy hes seriouly like my best friend! I can tell him anything! Well he like jokes around with me and stuff but how do i know if hes actually flirting? Like is he just being friendly...i don't think he likes me cause where just good friends even though sometimes i wish he did...so what would you consider to be flirtimg? but yea any advide??
Notice the looks, the touches, the smoothe seductive sneer within there voice. Look in their eyes too. It's really not a good way to differentiate but with different people comes different things. Sometimes you can tell the humor within their eyes. You have to have a lot of intuition you know. Really, it's like there trying just hard enough and sometimes they get it just right on the brink. Just try and look at what they do and how they move towards you.
i am really upset right now cause i have known my one freind for like 13 years btw im 14/f and shes trying to make me jelous cuz she and i have the same freinds at this tiny private school, cuz for some reason she can make friends easier then i can. im also very quiet until people get to know me but my friends that she and i have i feel like there leaving me out and when i ask them if there mad at me, or asking them why there leaving me out they say no of course not n just ignore me. like i know there not mad at me n stuff but they just keep on ignorning me for no reason. i also want to make some new freinds and im really quiet n i dont want to ask how was your day or ask about music, movies or books...i dont keeep up. so i need help n i swear ill rate fives
♥
Friends do that when they want to be portrayed as cool by others that they are trying to please. So you really need to talk with other people b/c you're quiet , I know. But how are you going to meet people if you don't talk to anyone. It's going to be difficult if you're a bit reserved, but it should be challenging b/c that's life. You may find people that you're easily compatible with in a friendship. I don't know and you don't know yet. So try it and go for it. And treat your friends witht the same inferior attitude that they use towards you. Let them know that the sun doesn't rise when they say so .
my mom all of a sudden wants to get in my buisiness...she wants to know every detail of my life....i dont think it is her buisiness but she is just so nosey...she always looks through my stuff...i dont know what to do...along with this ..my dad is getting married to his old therapist who was "helping" him get back together w/ my mom...i dont like it...she acts like shes our mother...shes not....and my dad...that bitch...took his girlfriend to go see 2 concerts the night he was supposed to take me to see just one... i hate him...what should i do iam under to much stress for a 13 year old...ps along with that i have homework until almost 10:00 AT NIGHT ...PLEASE HELP ME!
ps ..my dad always rubs my back and neck in a father daughter way but it is very uncomfortable...i need info on what to do there too! Thanks!! i am a teen girl in need!!!
love
anonymous
Maybe you need to talk to your father about the neglect that you've been feeling and how much it makes you feel stressed. Maybe you should point out what is more important to you when it comes to your relationship with him ,and that he hasn't been meeting those necessities within this particular father daughter relationship. After discussing that, then tell your father to lax up on the rubbing the back thing. Tell him that you're getting older and that well it's time to start treating you like you're older. Tell your mother this as well but please do not tell her this in an aggressive manner. It will only make matters worse. So when you talk to her tell her that you know that it is important to her to know specific things about your life. But that is just that, it's your life to live with your choices and that you acknowledge the fact that you know that your choices may have bad consequences. Tell her it's up to you to make them and that you understand that she is only doing her job which is being a mother. Oh and tell her that you're glad(maybe you aren't) that she cares, and tell her that when you need her you'll tell her . It may help if you actually, maybe not on a regular day to day basis, elaborated a bit about what's going on in your life. Oh and for the therapist, talk to her in a professional manner. Tell her that it's becoming ten times harder for you and that you really do need that time with your father. Hopefully she'll understand and if she doesn't , then you need to talk to your father.