I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
Visitors: 134068
Main Categories:
Mental health
Parenting
Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories
View All
|
| |
|
im in my 30 single mother of 2. i had a very difficult life. a lot of hardship n obstacle. one bad relationship after another each left me with a child. 2yrs have left me with 13yrs old boy. 9yrs a 9yrs old daughter n a miscarriage. i quit my job n spend 2 miserably yrs taking care of my mother in law sick with cancer. seeing someone u care for slow deteriorate had put a emotional toll on me. ive been through so much that living everyday life is a struggle. i use what i had left and push through. i was content with working n come home to my kids. the life was about living n making it through day.life was always unkind to me.i felt bless i found someone. i fall deeply n passionately in love. i never love any of my pass relationship as much as i love this one. once again pregnant n abandon by him. i have nothing left in me to push through in life. its not becuz of the break up but what life offers. one sad event obstacle after another. jobless no health insurance kids with school problems car broke down pregnancy health problems everything piling up all at once suffocating me. my heartache my mind n body is exhausted. i dont know what to do no one to turn to. all i want to do is sleep n not wake up. (link)
|
Those kids NEED YOU. They're the best thing that has ever come out of bad experience. I know that you think your problems right now are insurmountable. They aren't.
At any moment you could find yourself in a new situation with job, housing, a better life and people who don't treat you badly. Not every guy is out to abandon you even though others have.
There are government programs that can help you. You just have to start researching about them and applying. I'm sure you have parents and others who can help you temporarily.
I think your problem is depression to be honest with you and that's treatable. I know that you need to visit an emergency room and tell them that you're at the point where you think you could harm yourself.
They'll treat you and help you get your life back and better than before. That's your wisest choice and the only one to take.
|
|
He had me text her to ask what she thinks of him: So here is what I texted, "I work with someone I think you know, what do you think of him, would you ever go on a date with him?" and she texted back an hour later, "No thanks." I never brought it up to her again. It's been weeks and it's been awkward at work. All he talks about is how great she looked 2 days ago when he saw her again. He has had rejections like this before and has taken it really hard. Poor self-esteem. How do I break it to him that, she's just no that into him, softly? (link)
|
Did you keep the text or delete it? Show him it if you still have it. You're not responsible for his pain or taking things hard either.
It's better he know the truth from you rather than keep going after her and ultimately embarrassing himself around the office in which they both work.
|
|
this is gonna sound so conceited haha but i get turned on by my own body. like i have big boobs and they just turn me on a guess. i'm completely straight i know that for a fact. i get turned on by guys and can only picture myself with a guy. thats why i find this so weird. why is this? does anyone else have this problem? (link)
|
I wouldn't call it a problem. Think about it for a minute. You're comfortable with your body and in your skin when so many girls have self-esteem problems about their own.
I can only see this as being healthy to like who you are. It has nothing to do with orientation either. A lot of women wish for the ability to accept themselves physically.
|
20 female..
How do you get over a regret? I made a dumb decision ..I lost my virginity to this guy I thought I liked but then we kind of stopped talking and now he has a girlfriend which just really hit me hard. I didn't regret having sex with him until now ..maybe it's because he got a girlfriend ..I don't know. I've never regretted anything in my life until this. Do I just try to move on from the past? (link)
|
Is it the sex that you regret doing or is it having been with him? In the first instance you need to realize that it wasn't the right person, place, time and in the future you'll be sure you are committed and totally ready before having it again.
Unless this guy used you for sex and ditched you in favor of another girl you shouldn't be upset. Neither him nor yourself could have controlled what happened in your relationship or if people would move on and when. He's moved on from the past and you need to as well. It's not healthy otherwise.
I know it was your first time but like the other posters have said the first experience often isn't good but future experiences are especially when you find someone totally worthy of you and committed to you.
Trust me, how you're feeling is quite common but you need to move forward with your life and find the right person. This is also a bitter pill and a lesson about decision making and being sure you are with the right partner.
|
I looked up most of my dreams, but there was one I could not find. I need help, I want to know what it means. Someone broke into my house and stole my clothes from my closet, my sister, boyfriend, and her boyfriend ran off and caught him and everything. He apologized, and I expected to see my clothes when I came home. Turns out that, the clothes I don't even wear where back in my closet. But they went off to sell the rest of my clothes.
What does this mean??? (link)
|
Dreams are thought pictures. Your brain doesn't turn off when you go to sleep. The very things you fear or enjoy in life come through in our dreams too. Perhaps you fear theft, burglaries, or losing something important and your subconcious mind takes that and warps it a little.
It's always part fear and part fantasy with dreams. In other words, I wouldn't worry as it has no basis on what happens in real world.
|
ok so i'm a senior in high school and i'm still really confused on this whole "road to state tournament" process.
i'm too embarassed to ask my coach because he will get pissed. He expects seniors to be leaders and he will be angry if one of the seniors (me) doesn't know the whole process to state. one time a junior asked him if one of the teams was in our section and he laughed and called her a blonde.. thats because he expected her to know the answer. so if he hears me ask this silly question he will for sure laugh at my face.
anyways. my question is.. i'm so confused on the road to a state tournament.
I get that there's different conferences and sections, but I dont get how those rankings get set up etc.
Like for example: my conference is 5 teams. we are the 2nd ranked team.
Then my section is 11 teams and we are the 5th ranked team.
I dont understand how conferences and sections rankings get you to state. can someone please explain this to me?? sorry if i sound so confusing, i'm confused as well. but i just dont understand this whole state concept. I understand that you have to win your section in order to go to state.. but how does the rankings for conferences play into the section rankings?
gah! so confused. thanks so much! :) (link)
|
Your coach is a real piece of work and the kind of teacher and coach I despise. His job is to mentor kids and instill a love for what they are doing. It's not the place for sarcasm or berating a child for asking a question. This by the way is a great question.
If I were you I would approach a school administrator and ask them to explain how the rankings, sections and other things you need to know work and are arranged. Tell her you doubt your teammates have a clue either because of coach.
In confidence let them know how he treats people who ask questions and is sarcastic with students as that's not coaching, teaching or helping kids learn. They need to know. I wouldn't fear repercussion. Parents could back it up but I'm sure they'd love to know (the school admin here) why you were too upset to ask the coach. That to me is a bigger issue than finding out what coach wouldn't tell you without bawling you out.
|
Lately i've felt like my mind has been foggy. I forget to do things i normally wouldnt forget to do or i have trouble remember things. I'm a 19 year old female and i'm not currently in school anymore and i just work. I have to take a state certified test for work and i'm trying to study and prepare but i feel like i cant remember anything. It started happening like 3 weeks ago. For example today they're talking about things that we covered already in previous sessions and i barely remember. I heard that taking a certain vitamin can help with that. My mind has just been "off" lately. I'm one of the supervisor at a restaurant and i just feel like i cant focus. Any suggestions? Thanks
(link)
|
What happened three weeks ago that is different than before? You could do this before right? If you are taking any new medication or even older there might be side-effects with focus and memory.
Either way see a doctor and start discussing inability to recall or remember anything that isn't short-term. When it comes to studying we tend to learn in 15-30 minute stretches.
Study one area for that long, take a break, come back to another area and that's the easier way of retaining it. I'm sure you will do fine but you could mention to work that you would like to reschedule the exam due to family issues and get this checked out and then return to it. I'm sure they can't deny you that if you have legitimate concern and note from a doctor.
|
|
I am a junior in high school and a friend I have known since 1st grade has taken his life Monday night. Everyone believes it is due to bullying. Yet, my school is not doing any thing about it. Nothing. That makes me so incredibly mad. That just makes it look like it's okay for people to be bullied and have someone take their life. These past few days have been hard and the situation at school with no actions being taken is making it an incredible amount more hard. I can't get the picture of his helpless body hanging there in his closet.. I want to do something for him. I want to do a candle light service or make a memorial somewhere so the people that bullied him can actually admit that they messed up and that this boy was loved. He has put a smile on my face numerous times through out my 11 years of school with him and right now I just want to put a smile on his face in Heaven. How do I go about doing this? Do I have to go through my school to have a candlelit service? Do I need a permit to build a memorial for him? I know I am going to need a lot of people to help and I'm sure I can find quite a few people whose lives he blessed. Just help me out with what I can do for him. Thank you so much. (link)
|
Here's what to do. Call the editor of your local newspaper or call the newsroom at a local TV station. Tell them what happened with your friend and that the fact he was bullied was outright ignored by the school admin.
They'll be all over it as right now these cases are all over the media. They will get something done about it. Don't hesitate.
As far as a candle light vigil goes you don't need approval from school at all and can stage it where and when you want. I've never heard of anyone needing a permit at all. As far as makeshift memorials go it's likely the same thing as people leave flowers at scene of crashes a lot and nobody tells them otherwise. Get the media on to this story if you want change.
|
|
hi i have a lg neon and today i opened my backpack and it was off i turned the phone over and the battery what coming out, so i put it back in and turned it on. since i have a lg neon i have to put in a pass code. and when my phone is on vibrate it vibrates when i touch the numbers but it wouldn't even let me put my pass code. i have tried charging my phone and it didn't work. i turned it off and took the battery out for a while and it still won't work. what should i do? oh and i have at&t. if that helps. thanks. (link)
| |
Call AT&T and get their technical support on the phone. Explain what's happening and they will walk you through what to do. That's your best option.
|
I do not know what to be for halloween. I am a 17 year old girl and I will be going to a party, not trick or treating. I don't want anything too extreme or done up, and I was going with more on the sexier side, rather then hunorous. Not slutty though. I was thinking of just earing like a little dress and adding accesories to make it into a costume. For instance like a little black dress with like a sailor hat or something. Let me know what you think.
Thanks and happy halloween!!! (link)
|
http://www.spirithalloween.com/
Look at the costumes for women and teens on there and see if you are inspired. They might have a store in your area and no I'm not affiliated with them. They just have tons of photos of costumes that will help you come up with an idea.
There's lots of party stores like this one that sell the same costumes. I'd move your behind though as it's Thursday tomorrow and good stuff goes first. Perhaps you can even design your own costume based on an idea you get.
We can't pick or recommend a costume because we don't know you or what you are comfortable with. What one calls sexy and slutty are too different things but each person has their own viewpoint on what qualifies for each and what's going too far.
|
|
I am 15/f and have been involved with scams in the past for modeling. They always want us to pay money. Including Barbizon, which I thought they were not a scam..are they? What are some REAL modeling companies for modeling and is there any in New Jersey...if so, what are they called? (link)
|
Try contacting SAG (Screen Actors Guild of America) which is the union for all TV, radio, film actors. in Canada it's ACTRA. Tell them where you are from and that you want a list of reputable agents not only for those who handle modeling but also handle commercials, film, TV.
Don't sign with anyone not on their lists. There's good reason if an agency isn't. That's where I would start. Anyone that insists you buy this or that or get portfolios done that cost money is scamming you. You only need a basic snap-shot or 8*10 they color photo-copy to get a decent agent or gigs. Good luck!
|
|
When I was in 8th grade, there were...issues that I couldn't handle on my own. That was when I started cutting. I quit after a couple of months, and I haven't had a single urge since. But lately, my step-mom and I have been getting into more and more fights. The fights have me getting majorly agitated, and the urge keeps cropping up. For the most part, I can find a friend to distract me long enough to pass the urge. Unfortunately, there are times when that isn't much of an option. No matter how hard I try during these spouts, I always end up cutting. I need help, but I can't go to my parents. I'm a senior, and I can't screw up. Not in their eyes, or else it's off to the Looney Bin for me. Advice, please? (link)
|
No psychiatrist nor hospital will ever put you in a psych ward or "looney bin" as you negatively refer to it as. They legally cannot put anyone in the hospital unless they are delusional or a threat to others or themselves. You're not at that stage.
You do have a mental health issue though that needs dealt with by a psychiatrist. This doesn't mean you are crazy either. He/she will give you proper treatment so you can put it behind you and live normally.
It's too bad your parents aren't supportive of you. However, I'm certain that if you presented this problem to them and needed medical help (which you do) they would support you as all parents would with their children.
You can tell any adult be it a teacher, friend's parents, councillor, aunt, uncle or anyone close to you about it and point out that your parents wouldn't support you and would cart you off somewhere as per your fears. These adults would make sure you get help and deal with your family.
There's nothing stopping you from walking into a doctor's office and telling them that you are depressed, have been cutting and want help before it escalates further. You can also do that at any hospital and be assessed. They won't keep you there.
|
|
18/f, i work at mcdonalds. in the state of New York, what is required for breaks? i know after 6 hours, you get a 30 minute break, but is there anything else? (link)
|
Definitely one lunch break. After each six hour period you get 20 minutes from what I could figure out and based on prior experience with similar job.
When you get the breaks is up to the employer and should be mentioned in any contract they had you sign. If in doubt talk to the manager at your next shift and tell him/her that you're really unclear on when you can take breaks, how long and what the law says.
They'll tell you as they don't want any trouble if you aren't getting or taking what you are entitled to. I'm not sure if this varies state by state as I'm not American so talking to your boss is your best bet so they can lay it out properly.
|
|
I found a video my roommate took of a friend of mine, taken from a hidden camera in a vent in my bathroom. I am disgusted & hurt he took advantage of her this way. I love him very much but can't stand knowing what he did. We've been so close and do everything together. But now it's all ruined. I'm afraid of him now, even though I know he won't do anything to me. I don't know why I'm afraid but what's sure is I no longer trust him and I'm questioning if our friendship was ever real. He helped me through some really hard times, was there for me unlike anyone I've ever known before. Before I found this, I trusted him completely. He went out of his way to help me for a long time while I dealt with major chaos in my life. NO ONE has ever been so good to me, but now I found this. I'm heartbroken and disgusted and no idea what to do. The video he took was of a really close friend of mine who I love. She is exceptionally beautiful and I guess he couldn't help himself. This lack of control and invasion of privacy is sick. I told him to seek help immediately before I decided what to do with this information. He didn't hesitate, and found a psychologist the same day. He's been telling me repeatedly how he wants to die and hates himself, how ashamed he is. He cries everyday. Says he's never felt this way before & is disgusted with himself, as he should be. What do I do? I hate him but love him. I hate to see him in so much pain but cant be there for him like he was for me. My biggest torture is how can I look at my friend in the face and not say anything? She and I have never had any filter and talked about anything and everything. But now, I feel if I tell her it would cause more harm than good. She is a happy positive person despite extreme hardships in her life. I admire her because I'm opposite & give up easily because EVERYONE I've loved my whole life has hurt me in big ways. Cheating, stealing, beatings, lies...now I'm alone again but have to live here for I am broke from unemployment and can't afford to move. I have nowhere to go. He offered to leave but I can't stand the thought of living here with a stranger. Prior this I never had a roommate before. I'm ill & it's difficult to find someone understanding. He's very close to his mother so I gave him an option. Tell his mother, my friend or the police. His choice. And I will live with the burden of hiding this from everyone else. Am I doing the right thing? I miss him so much but I don't know him anymore. (link)
|
To be blunt you aren't thinking with your head on straight if you believe it's okay to hide this from the victim. Then again, who could expect you to be in the right frame of mind when something like this happens.
There's no precedent on how someone tackles this as it's unusual for people to find themselves in it. What you have to do is tell your friend (the victim) that you have something very troubling to tell her that could be life-altering for both of you.
Next tell her that you caught someone who you thought was a friend with a video that he recorded secretly of her in an intimate situation and want her to know the truth. This way she doesn't suspect you of wrong doing and can take action with the police herself as is her right. Imagine if it were you. Telling her the truth is the ONLY thing to do.
Although your male friend is someone who helped you and that you loved you have to understand that he's got a serious problem and is quite sick to be doing this. He can go to jail for it and perhaps needs to.
You have to cast him out of your inner circle though and realize that you shouldn't feel a shred of guilt over this as long as you tell her. Tell him not to contact you and to continue getting professional help.
What he's trying to do is lay a guilt trip on you so you don't tell anyone and will be there for him. He's not apt to hurt or kill himself but even if that did transpire it's not your fault and you have no influence on his actions. You simply must do what is right.
The thing is and this is true of most situations like this that this is NOT the first time he's done this or victimized other women and even if it were he would likely re-offend. You also can't take his word that he didn't try to do this to you either. People who do this have a long pattern of behavior. It may just be his first time caught.
If he lives with you kick him out unless he's on the lease and find another person you know to share the apartment or appeal to friend's parents, your parents or anyone who can help once you tell them why he's moved out and what he did. TRUST ME people will bend over backwards to help once they know your story.
It will be okay but first step is to TELL HER RIGHT NOW. Let me know what happens. You owe it to her much like someone would to you if roles were reversed.
Will it affect her life and positive attitude? Perhaps and perhaps not. That's something you can't gauge. But, I will tell you something you'll do irreversible harm if you don't tell her and one day she finds out some other way. Think of her as you.
|
|
I live with my bf of 2 yrs and i am 8 months pregnant. He has totally ignored me for the past few months. He does not help me or has bought the baby anything. I feel so sad I do not know how to fix the problem. He wanted a baby and begged me for one. Now that he is acting like this I am so mad. I wish I could fix this problem. I am 30 and he is 39. I thought with his age he would be more mature. I do not know if I should stay and somehow fix the problem or just leave him. (link)
|
Confront him about it so that he knows how you feel. This is weird behavior from a man whom is supposed to have a baby with you soon. Something is going on here but that doesn't mean he's a cheater but *might* be.
Also, and I hate to mention it are you 100% sure you aren't being touchy or perceiving things incorrectly due to being pregnant and hormones with it. Maybe he's not doing anything wrong but needing to be more attentive. If that's so then tell him why aren't you doing this or that?
If you don't like his explanation you can always tell your parents that you need to get out of this situation and come home as it's not right for you or baby. They can better deal with him when that happens than perhaps you can.
|
Ever since I was little , these group of guys have been bullying me , and it came to a conclusion they disgraced my family , friends , they paintballed my house , they egged it , tried to throw stuff at it , and this was 2-3 years and still going on. Ever since an indicent happened at school because me and my friend got suspended because my friend was drunk and I tried to help her and so every day they go up to us and its all the guys in our grade and call us sluts alcholics and so on , today I went on a walk with my friend and there was a car and they said sluts so i go over to the car again and i tell them to shut the fack up and mature a bit and not hide and first you go and call us and then hide and they kept calling us greasy dirty fat ugly hors sluts skanks hoes black something and they stopped and they reversed like they wanted to run us over and i was like i will call the cops on you hes like go ahead and they drove off and the guy is like shut the fck up your ugly and this happens constantly
i really want this to end i know i shouldn't ave said it again , but i really dont know what to do i want it to stop , can i charge them? do i tell someone? (link)
|
I wish you would dump one of them on their behind. It seems to be the only thing that would work. Forget the schools helping. If it's off their property or even on it they don't care.
You would always get the "you must be doing something" to provoke it line. Obviously, your parents know what is happening.
That's good. What they and you need to do is write down the dates, aprox. time this happens, what was said etc and take it to the police. Charge them with harassment for incidents in public, by telephone and Internet if they do it online too.
At the same time charge them with the vandalism of your home as they will have a record for having done it. Mention the egging, throwing that still goes on etc. etc. The cops may ask why you waited so long re: prior incidents at the house. Tell them you figured it out recently as they just continued and continued.
Once you do that you can bet they will never bother you and or your family again. If they tried they would be in a lot of shit with the cops and rightly so. Get your parents and yourself to file a complaint with police.
|
|
Okay so i have like super weird skin, one day its clear the next day i have a major breakout and its also really dry! What should i use to clear it up? I tried so many things that i dont even kno which one works lol please help im tired of the freaking bumps! Thanks in advance =] (link)
|
See your doctor. While they aren't specialists like dermatologists they have enough judgment to know bad acne problems from smaller ones when they encounter it.
Your family doctor should have sample tubes of strong medicated acne creams that destroy acne in a matter of days and keep your pores unclogged when used later on as a preventative measure.
They will likely give you samples for free if you tell them you don't have an insurance plan and as a student can't pay for prescription. Take the prescription anyway but a sample tube should more than suffice if you ask. It literally burns acne off.
|
|
My friend got some cheap condoms some place last week and he gave me some for when I hook up. I was gonna use some this weekend but then I noticed they're not branded really. I know he wouldn't give me lousy condoms but it makes feel weird that they're so cheap. I think he may have got them from the clinic but i dunno for sure and I ain't gonna ask him. Is it safe to still use cheap condoms or should I just dish out the cash and get my own Trojans? (link)
|
I would be inclined not to use them. While his intentions are fine you don't know about what brand they are and how durable or even treated with spremicidal chemical.
It's better to dish out for a brand you trust and not get pregnant or STD than use something you question. That way you stay safe and avoid any risks. These condoms you have may not be durable either or well-made. Play it safe.
|
I have been having anxious feelings/ pre panic attack. Im in college and when i went home for the weekend I had the feelings like every day there which was 4 days. Because i had so many, now i am freaking out trying to figure out what caused me to have it and makes me want to avoid those situations. My boyfriend came up here and i was fine all week, now that he left today and went back home and i might go home next week, i already feel reallyyyyy anxious and it makes me not want to go home. Im not sure why i feel this way, because normally i would be soo happy to go home, but my fear is knowing i have to say goodbye and leave.
My head and my bodys reactions are ridiculous and unnecessary, i just need some help or advice on what i can do to control these feelings besides getting medications (link)
|
Here's what I would like you to do. You stated that this has happened every day this week which was 4 days if I read correctly.
It's causing you to freak out and body weird reactions. It's a medical issue and while it could be due to fear in one particular area ie: being alone it needs to be seen to as it could be the precursor to a bigger problem or a disorder.
Panic attacks and what caused yours are a mental health issue. Next time it happens you should go to an emergency room and tell them you have been having panic attacks every single day and would like to be properly assessed.
You need to do this as this problem could grow. Also write down what you're thinking about when they happen so the doctor has something to go on.
What's wrong with taking medication? I know you don't want to and heck nobody does but if it gets rid of your problem for good and keeps you stable and happy than it's better that than constant anxiety.
There's not much if anything you can do to control "these" feelings except to try and convince yourself that you have nothing to fear while alone. Then again, the panic attacks may be neurological and a disorder possibly that would happen regardless.
That's what you need a psychiatrist to properly diagnose at an emergency room. Regular doctors don't know much about panic disorders or mental health issues which this is classified as being.
|
|
Well im i the 7th grade and im 13. i'm about 20 punds and i really would like to lose it. any sugestions? i really can't help what i eat ecause i just grabs whats in the house for breakfest, we don't have healthy lunches at school. and for dinner its usualy pizza or spagheti. (link)
|
Weight loss is based on your height. Without knowing your height we can't successfully establish what weight you need to be versus what you are at now. You might not need to lose 20 pounds at all or could be in the window where you should.
What you need to do is log onto Google. Type in BMI Chart and once it loads put in your height and current weight and it will tell you the healthy amount of pounds you need to be.
If you need to lose pounds you'll have to exercise daily and eat lots of greens and other veggies and a healthy portion for dinner and breakfast and don't eat any junk food. Drink water instead of pop about 6 times a day and you can and will lose weight.
What annoys me is that your school is offering only junk for lunch which isn't helping students at all. The thing is you've got a choice. DON'T BUY IT or consume it. Take sandwiches or something you know is good for you and eat that.
Pizza and spaghetti are sometimes foods and not to be eaten a lot. You need to talk to your parents about affordable lunches, breakfasts and dinners that won't cause weight gain.
When you do have pizza limit yourself to 2 slices, get lots of veggies on it, cheese is okay (no extra cheese) and take pepperoni off of it or any meats like Salami. That's a healthy way of eating pizza. Talk to your parents though as having pizza and spaghetti all the time will adversely impact weight and health.
You should consult your doctor about a healthy meal plan and diet plan to meet your goals and should NEVER start a diet on your own without them telling you what is and isn't okay.
|
|