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My Friend Committed Suicide
I am a junior in high school and a friend I have known since 1st grade has taken his life Monday night. Everyone believes it is due to bullying. Yet, my school is not doing any thing about it. Nothing. That makes me so incredibly mad. That just makes it look like it's okay for people to be bullied and have someone take their life. These past few days have been hard and the situation at school with no actions being taken is making it an incredible amount more hard. I can't get the picture of his helpless body hanging there in his closet.. I want to do something for him. I want to do a candle light service or make a memorial somewhere so the people that bullied him can actually admit that they messed up and that this boy was loved. He has put a smile on my face numerous times through out my 11 years of school with him and right now I just want to put a smile on his face in Heaven. How do I go about doing this? Do I have to go through my school to have a candlelit service? Do I need a permit to build a memorial for him? I know I am going to need a lot of people to help and I'm sure I can find quite a few people whose lives he blessed. Just help me out with what I can do for him. Thank you so much.
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BRing up the top to your principal maybe they can organize something for your friends....sory for your lost the best of luck
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My condolences on your loss. For someone to be bullied to the point of taking their own life is horrible.
The answer to your questions is that in most towns you do not need a permit to hold a memorial service or for the making of a make shift, temporary, memorial. One exception would be anything on school grounds.Boards of Educations have their own rules and I would not want you to get in trouble at school for trying to honor your friend. If you intent is to do something at school or on school ground ask permission first.
Bullying is at the moment getting National attention. The school system should be doing something about bullying. They may or may not be aware that your friends suicide was do to bullying. They may or may not be formulating plans do address in school bullying. These are things they may not want to tell a student or your friends parents.
My suggestion is to talk with you parents and to ask them for help in making the community aware of how your friend died. There is nothing like community pressure to force an issue to the surface. Part of community pressure is getting local media attention. as this subject is a national hot topic, local media will get involved but they will only get involved if contacted by a competent adult. You also need to contact your friends parents and ask then if what you wish to do is okay with them. They are grieving over the loss of their son and may wish to do so in private. If so you must honor their wishes.
Even if your friends parent wish to grieve in private, their are ways to bring this issue out in public. The media can be your friend in this issue and they can be sensitive to your friends parents while helping to bring the schools system to task.
You have a worthy cause; ask your parents for help so that you can honor your friend. Good luck.
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I came to post something kind of like SolidAdvice4Teens.
Go to his family. Talk with them. Tell them what you're feeling and ask them if it's ok with them for you to go to the media.
If this becomes national news (it's entirely possible) or even any kind of local fuss there's a good chance that the family will come under media attention, which can be invasive. Ask them if they're willing to or want to submit themselves to that. They might want to, to raise awareness (thats a good thing) or they might want to keep their grief quiet.
You should respect their wishes either way, but just talking to his family and letting them know that you knew their kid and wish you could have done something for him, will help them. Knowing their son was loved outside their home and giving them your perspective adds another layer of memories they can keep of their son/nephew/cousin/sibling/etc.
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Here's what to do. Call the editor of your local newspaper or call the newsroom at a local TV station. Tell them what happened with your friend and that the fact he was bullied was outright ignored by the school admin.
They'll be all over it as right now these cases are all over the media. They will get something done about it. Don't hesitate.
As far as a candle light vigil goes you don't need approval from school at all and can stage it where and when you want. I've never heard of anyone needing a permit at all. As far as makeshift memorials go it's likely the same thing as people leave flowers at scene of crashes a lot and nobody tells them otherwise. Get the media on to this story if you want change.
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Hi,
Well, the first thing you have to do is to realise why he took his life. Yes, bullying is real in some place more than others. You could have a get together, where his closest friends and family memebers are, to celebrate his life and keep his legacy alive, in some way.
I hope he has peace.
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