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Hey I'm Laura. I love giving advice and helping people out. If you ever have a question, drop one in my inbox! I'm always on, so your question will be answered very quickly. =)


advice

Dear Advicenators,
One and a half years ago my brother *Henry* was diagnosed with hemophilia, which means that his blood does not clot normally. If he gets a cut, it's really hard to stop the bleeding. If he loses too much blood, he could die if the blood is not replenished.

Henry and I always liked to spend time together (he's two years older than me). We'd ride bikes to the park and shoot basketball hoops. He couldn't be too active, but he was my best friend and I felt safe around him.

Anyway, he lost a lot of blood one day, and was taken to the doctor for another blood injection. The horrible part was, that the person who had donated that blood was carrying the AIDS virus. The doctor proclaimed that Henry now had AIDS.

Henry is 15 years old, is in diapers, and must be fed through an IV or a tube. He has about 4 months left to live. My entire family is sad, and angry about it. My parents must monitor him all the time, so I always have to get a ride to my volleyball games. All three of us never have extra time, because we are always there for Henry and when he must be hospitalized. I had to drop out of volleyball for him.

Henry has been the butt of the jokes from the kids at school lately. They make fun of the fact that he has been in diapers. They are unaware of the fact that his brain is slowly being devoured, and he can't feed himself. The AIDS is tearing the whole family apart. But luckily, my friends are there to console me, but I always feel resentment towards the cruel kids at school. Can I please have some suggestions on what to do about that?

Anyway, as I am spending my last Christmas with my brother, I have no idea what present to give to him. Could I please have some ideas? I want it to be special and something he'll remember when he goes to Heaven.

Also, how can I comfort / cheer up my parents? They have been having lots of mood swings lately and have been very stressed.

Any input and prayer would be great. Sorry about the length.

You are being really mature about this. I think you should give your brother a scrap book of your life together. Put pictures in it of good memories and at the back leave a note. Express your love for him in the note, and write it coming from your heart. Your parents are really upset, as is your whole family. You should comfort them by letting them know you will see him again someday. Tell them you will be there for them if they need you, and that Henry wouldn't want you to be sad. You will all get through it together, don't worryI'm very sorry hun, I wish there was more I could do. Best wishes to Henry.
♥lAuRa

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im on the track team and train from monday thru friday sometimes we run 3-4 miles and sumtimes we run on the track. no matter wut i always get a vigerous workout. HOWEVER i have serious cravings for food i dont just eat junk buti eat somewhat alot of it, but i excercise 5 out of 7 days a week sometimes 6. i juss want to know is what im doing ok can u eat what you want as long a su excercise? i realy need to know please answer quick.

I read in a magazine that if you eat what you want and stop when you're full, you'll be fine. With that much exercise you shouldn't gain weight. Don't eat too much junk food because it's unhealthy for anyone, but other than that I think you'll be okay. Teenagers usually get massive cravings for food, but as long as you don't splurge there's nothing wrong with it. =)
♥lAuRa

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My best friend and I like the same guy. The thing is, he is dating my best friend. But she and he both know that he likes me also. He wants to be with both of us, but I don't want to hurt my best friend so I think I should back off. What should I do?? Thanks!

Yes, you should back off. Right now just give your best friend a chance to be with him. If they break up, give it some time. If your friend seems heart broken, don't go for him yet. She will feel betrayed and hurt. After awhile talk to your friend and see if she's okay if you go for this guy. Respect what she has to say. If she's alright with it, that's great then go on ahead. If she's not, that's okay. She'll need some time to grieve. Really don't go for him without your friend's consent because I know how much it hurts. My best friends went out with my ex and they didn't even see why I was down. Your being a really good friend right now and I think she will appreciate it. =)
♥ laura

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my room is really lame and i hate having friends in it because its not cool. i have basic furniture, tv, computer, but its so boring to be in. any ideas? help!!!

Paint your room with your fave color. My sister did something really cool. She took a double brush and painted it like the ocean. It looks really cool. Put posters of your fave celebs on the wall. Go to your local mall. Find a store that sells cute accesories and buy what you like. You could put beaded curtains on your door. I put all my stuffed animals on my bed or in a fish net in the corner of the room. Get one of those fuzzy rugs and put it by your door. They are really cool and feel awesome. Decorate your room to he style you like. That way when people come in, they'll know what you're like. If your room is more spiced up you will feel more relaxed going in there. Be unique, creative, and have fun! =)
~lAuRa~

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I'm fifteen years old, and I'm about 5'3. I'm not overweight, but I'm on the verge of it, and it most definitely wouldn't hurt if I shed a few pounds. When I'm home alone or just out with friends, I'm fine as far as resisting bad food goes. The problem is...my mom- and the rest of my family. My mom is ALWAYS buying junk food and tempting me with it. When we go to McDonalds and I say that I just want a bottled water and a salad, she'll order an extra thing of fries because she knows I'll eat it. My question is...How can I resist this with out my family thinking I'm anorexic? They won't understand if I simply explain that I want to lose a few pounds because like I said, I'm not overweight yet. Any ideas would be great. Thanks.

Sit your family down and explain to them that you don't want to eat so much unhealthy food. You don't have to add in you're being cautious of gaining weight, just say it's bad gor your health (because it really is.) Drink water instead of pop but make sure to get all your food groups in every day. Exercise regularly and you shouldn't gain any weight. If your mom tries to buy you fries again, refuse. Since you've already explained about it to her, she should respect your decision. =)
-laura-

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'i'm being sexually harrassed by this guy i know, and so is every other girl in myclass except for two. His sexual harrassment is getting me in troubel with some of my teachers. It's cometothe point that i'm afarid to be alone with him because i'm afaird of what he'll do to me. He's grabbed by breast slappmy ass, rubbed on my crotch and other things. he's messedwith other girls in my class but he seems to dothst tome the most.Lately he's stop but i'm afarid he might start up and do it again. I tell him what he's doingis wrong but he doesn't care.Iused to think of himas my friend untill it all started.Now i don'tknow what to do.

Don't let him do that to you or any of your class mates anymore. Tell an adult you trust right away like a teacher or parent. When he tries to touch you, push him away. Don't be afraid to be aggresive because what he is doing is gross and like really inappropriate. I'm sure the person you tell will agree, so go let them know. =)
~laura

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im thirteen and i was datin this fifteen yr old until i found out what an ass he was...he always tried to go down my pants and kiss me...so about two weeks ago i broke up wit him...i still went to his house and we r really good friends...after i broke up wit him i met his uncle who is 19...and i found that he likes me....then he called me and asked me out afta we got to kno each otha...(IM NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING WIT HIM BECAUSE I KNO THATS RAPE!!) i said yea so eva since we have been goin out...i luv him a wicked lot and he luvs me to but all my friends say i should dump him...i dont want to but my friend kayla gives the best advice and shes the main one who makes me feel like i should


>should i dump him or not?
thanx a bunch

He's 19! What would he want with a 13 year old? I think you should dump him right away. He may seem really nice now, but he could try to do something to you when you're caught off guard. Right now he's gaining your trust. you never know when or if he would break it. Tell him you'd just like to stay friends. Also add in that you're sure he could get a girl his own age, because he really should. =)
-LaUrA-

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I have this friend and me and her decided to try a new style for christmas and summer.its kinda 80ish.We want to cut pantyhose knee length and wear a cute abercrombie skirt over it.This is for summer by the way. But then we want to wear a colorful tanktop. For shoes we want flipflops or converse. Can anyone tell me if this sounds cute?

Yeah, I really like it! I think it's very unique. Maybe you'll start a new trend. =)
~laura

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Ok, you give great advice. That's why I keep asking. Anyways. He doesn't seem to have a shy personality, he seems to be very lively and talkitive at youth, but he might be shy around girls. He probably is, because he doesn't seem to hang out with them a lot at youth and stuff. The thing is... I'm kind of shy too. Actually, I'm really shy, but only around guys that I like. It's just this thing that I've always had. What should I do? Do you have any personal experiances like this, and if so, what (you don't have to say if you don't wanna)?

Yep. In sixth grade I was so shy around my boyfriend. My friends had to literally drag me to dance with him at one of the school dances. I liked him a lot, but he dumped me because I was so shy. It's been two years, but I've kind of grown out of it. I kept telling myself there's only one life to live no sense in being shy your whole life. I'm still a little shy around guys I like, but now I just start talking to them. Since this guy is pretty talkative at youth I think you should strike up a conversation with him there. Somehow guys who are outgoing make me feel more comfortable to be around, and maybe it will be the same for you.
*laura*

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Hey,
I need some serious advice a.s.a.p.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7mths now and we've kissed,held hands, made-out, and hugged and stuff like that. Now hes been touching me everywhere (and i mean everywhere!) whenever we are really closly hugging or holding each other closely when we sit together, it scares me really bad for some reason and my heart starts pounding, also i am a catholic grl and i follow my religion, i am also only a freshman in HS. I talked to my best friend about it (a guy) and he said he would touch his girlfriend like that too, and my other friends let their boyfriends do that too, now im starting to wonder if im too prude, or im not doing the right thing.
So should i let him touch me?

Thanx to everyone thats gonna help me,
*BaByItSYoU*
--

Just because your friends are comfortable with it doesn't mean you automatically are. If you don't like it when he touches you, let him know. Just be honest. If he can't understand your request, yuo should dump him because that's unacceptable. He should respect your boundaries. Hopefully he will listen and stop, then you won't have a problem. =)
~~laura

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Ok, there's this guy at my school (i live in Vermont) who everyone thinks is gay. Even though the rumors are most likely not true, no one wants to be his friend because of rumors, and neither do my friends. I really think it's terrible how people treat him, and I want to be his friend; I don't believe sexual orientation should affect friendship. How should I be his friend without making my friends mad, or making him feel uncomfortable when my friends want to hang out with me?

I think that's really nice of you to want to be his friend. If you're going to do this, you are actually testing your friends at the same time. You are testing how true they are. Explain to them that it doesn't matter what sexual preference someone has, because that doesn't define them as a person. If they still stick to your side through this, then they are good friends. If they leave you out, then they aren't worth your time. You don't have to hang out with him all the time, maybe you could chat with him in the hall or catch him after school. You could also get his number to talk out of school. This way it won't seem so weird. You're a really great person for doing this, so don't let anyone put you down. =)
//laura

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When I saw my crush at the movies with my friend, I saw him taking a glance at me. Our eyes met cuz' I was naturally looking at him too. I know that he's seen me before, so was he just looking at me because he knows who I am, or was he looking at me because there were some feelings in there? My friend and I were talking about him while we were waiting for her siblings to get something. And I know that he looked over a few times. My friend and I were all whispery and smile-ish and stuff, so would that have told him anything? And if so, what? And why was he lookin' at me?

If he kept on looking over at you, it's a definte sign he is interested in you. I think that's why he kept looking. Your whispering and smiling probably told him that you were a little excited he was looking your way lol. I think you should go talk to him sometime, maybe walk up to him with your friends. After you get to know him you could ask him to see a movie if he looks interested. This guy seems a little shy, because the only signs he is showing is looking at you. You should make the first move and see what happens. =)
~LaUrA

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Yeah, I get the "game" now. But tell me what you think about this. What's the chance of someone older and going to another school of liking me? I know that he goes to a bigger school than I do, and surely... well maybe... I don't know, but he might have a g/f... but I can't be sure. He doesn't seem to be as flirty with the other girls there as much as the other guys though. So I guess that that's good. But the other guys hang out with the girls that go to other schools, not the one that I go to. So maybe he doesn't like anyone that goes to any of those schools. That's good I guess too. And do you think that it's wrong to like someone because they're cute? I mean he is cute, but I also like him because he's really nice... at least that's how it seems. And after you answer those, (thanks so much for you help by the way), is there anything else I should know?
--Futurelimabean

Guys date younger girls all the time. I think there's a good chance a guy in a bigger school would like you. If you don't know if he has a girlfriend, you will once you start flirting with him. He might look at you funny or walk away, and that means he isn't interested or he really does have a girlfriend. There's nothing wrong with liking a guy because he is cute. The only problem would be if he was also a jerk, but he seems nice so that's not the case. If he's not as flirty with the girls, maybe he's just shy. The only way to really find out is to get to know him. Guys give mixed signals sometimes, plus they think differently than us.
\\laura

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Ok, about the "play the game hard to get", I understand now. But if he did ask me out (not likely as far as I know), and if I did laugh and say maybe, what if he thought I didn't like him or something? And is there any other things that are in the "game hard to get"?
--Futurelimabean

It's all in the way you act. So when you say maybe, you could like flick your hair off your shoulder and look him right in the eye. Smile. This way he gets the hint, you know? Hard to get is basically a game of flirting. I think the name says it all. There's not much more to the concept actually. I think you understand it. =)

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Ok, I like this guy. He's older than me, and goes to a different school. He's really hot though. I know that he knows my name and stuff, but I know everybody's name at church (that's how I know him). N E ways, my friends tell me that he's not worth it if he doesn't really do anything. But I don't do anything and I like him. They tell me to go to plan B. Well, what if there is no plan B? I know that he's the one that I like right now, but I just dont know wut to do. I like him and I don't make a move. Should I? And if he liked me, would be make a move too? Or does he feel the same way? I know that you can't answer all these, because you prob don't know him, but what do you think in general and stuff?

~Anounimous Grl~

If he liked you, he wouldn't necessarily make a move. He could be really shy around girls. I think you should definetley make the first move. The way to find out if he likes you is by straight out asking him, or seeing if he flirts back. Some guys like girls to make the first move, because they are just like that. He could possibly be waiting for you. I think you should talk to him more and flirt. Find out if he likes you and go on from there. =)
~laura

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Hey, Futurelimabean again. What did you mean when you say "play a game of hard to get"? And is it really important to look good (good clothes, hair fixed with effort, ect.)?

By hard to get, I mean that if he like asks you out, say maybe and laugh. of course you can eventually say yes, but it drives guys crazy. (in a good way!) if you want to look good, that's fine but it's NOT important. He should like you for you, not for your looks. If you want to make a good impression, go ahead. =)
[[laura]]

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Hey, this is Futurelimabean :). Anyways, thank you so much for the advice. I will surely write more. You don't have to return this, but if you have any other good tips, that would be nice ;). Thanks so much!

Your welcome! Here's some tips I thought up:

~always look into his eyes
~smile polietly
~laugh at his jokes
~compliment him on his hair, clothes, etc.
~play a game of hard to get. guys can't resist lol


If you need anything else, just ask!


~lAuRa

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I'm the person that asked about the guy that goes to another school. Thanks so much. You return your advice back really fast. Anyways, it seems ackward to talk to him. I mean, I don't know him. There's not really a right time to. It would seem strange. And also, I get sad when we have youth and he's not there... it's really sad. Is that normal? And he's going to high school next year, therefore, moving to the high school age group for youth. What am I gonna do? I'll still be in jr. high! Please help with my many questions. By the way, you can call me Futurelimabean. That's what I'm known by. :p

Well the best time I think would be right before or after the youth group starts. You get sad when he's not there because you miss seeing him. Since it's awkward, introduce yourself casually. Go up to him and be like like "Aren't you _____?" And he will reply. Then say something such as "Oh, I thought so. Hi, I'm _____." Then the conversation will start to flow. Ask why he got started in the youth group and such. If you do this eveytime you see him, you guys will become friends. At the end of the year, ask him for his number so you can keep in touch. I know it might seem strange, but if he seems to respect you know you've got nothing to worry about. If you're worried, practice in front of a mirror. It might sound kind of dorky (lol) but it really does help. And think of this, it will only be awkward at first, then it will be like you two are already aquainted. By the way, nice to meet you Futurelimabean. =)
-laura-

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I earlier asked the question about the guy that I liked that went to another school... anyways, thanks a bunch! Hopefully it will work. But sometimes I get a little nervous, around him. He's really hot, so that's probably why. And it would be a little strange to talk to him, since I hardly know him and he goes to a different school and is in a different grade. Is it strange to like someone you don't know? I know his name, where he goes to school, and some other general things. He seems like a good person too. He also seems to acknowledge my exsistence, so that's a good thing, right? And how do I get up the courage to talk to him. Thanks again.

It's not strange at all to like someone you don't know. Since you're nervous, you should bring a friend with you to go talk to him. You will get more and more comfortable talking to him, and soon you won't need your friend there. Yep, it's a good thing he acknowledges you. Once you talk to him once, you will feel relieved that you got up the courage and it won't be so hard next time. If he's a nice guy, you should have nothing to worry about if you say something stupid or something, you know? =)
-laura

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Ok, I'm having a little bit of trouble. You see, I like this guy, but he's a year older than me and goes to a different school. I really like him- a whole lot, and I don't know how to get his attention. He's in my youth group and stuff, that's how I know him. Can you tell me how to get his attention- and if I do, how to talk to him and like what to talk about and stuff. And if you have anymore tips, that would be cool too. Thanks.

To get his attention, here's some options:
~Look at him until he looks back. Smile and look away slowly.
~Drop something in front of him. He will probably go to pick it up. If you go for it at the same time, your hands might meet. =)
~Go up to him and introduce yourself. Talk about the weather, your hobbies, etc. Smile and nod a lot during the conversation to show you're interested.

What to talk about:
~your teachers/classes
~things going on in the youth group
~his opinions on politics/ current news
~what you're doing over the weekend

Just be yourself when you are around him. Make good eye contact. It's amazing how just body language can give someone the hint that you like them. If he seems interested back, ask him for his email or phone number. good luck! =)

..laura..

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