Member Since: July 29, 2010
Answers: 302
Last Update: March 19, 2011
Visitors: 16734
|
| |
So i'm in my first year of college and there's this group that I may go out with on saturday. There will probably be drinking and i'm really interested in trying it because I've never drank a sip of alcohol in my life. So, I'm a little socially awkward and uptight in many situations and I really admire the people in this group and would love to become good friends with them. This isn't the reason why I'm doing it but will drinking "loosen me up" a little? Will it sort of rid me of some of the inner tension I have when socializing? I'm not planning to get blackout wasted, just a little buzzed. and please, answer the question honestly and try not to lecture. i really just want the honest truth.
Thanks so much (link)
|
Yes, a drink may loosen you up a little.
But it's hard to know how it will effect you, how much alcohol will cause much effect, etc. It can help you relax a little, and it can help you relax so much you end up going to bed with someone you normally wouldn't eat lunch with.
Eat before going so you have food in your stomach.
Stick with one kind of alcohol. If you're drinking rum and coke, not a bad choice for a first timer, drink no other alcohol other than than rum.
For every drink, drink one non-alcoholic drink.
This will help you stay hydrated which goes a long way to avoiding a hang over and slowing
the pace of drinking and letting you feel how much a drink has effected you before you drink a second one.
If there's pressure to drink more than you'd like, leave.
|
I have some college questions, and I would appreciate anyone who could answer them.
1.) Can you start online college applications before you take the SAT and ACT. I'm taking one in a week, and the other in a month. But can I start the applications then send in the scores when I get the results? I'm confused about the online process that most schools are doing now.
2.) When do you apply for finacial aid and scholarships? Before or after you apply to the college? Or do you wait until you are accepted to apply for finacial aid?
Thank you.
(link)
|
You can apply at any time. The school will not decide on your application until it has all the required information.
Apply for FA any time after you've applied for admission.
Some students want to know their SAT and ACT scores before they apply because they may make a difference in where you are accepted or what scholarships you may be eligible for.
|
|
I have really bad isomnia from my depression. Every night, my body constantly aches inside and out. I usually resort to crying during the time I lie awake in the dark.It's all just tearing me apart because it hurts so much... I don't know what to do... (link)
|
Are you getting any medical help with your depression?
The most successful treatment is the combination of drug and talk therapy. Start with speaking to your doctor.
|
hi everyone!
so, this is my 3rd period cycle ive been practicing with tampons. i have gotten some in before, but lately, they just wont go in. i feel as though they get stuck, and i am completely relaxed and using the slimmest ones because im on birth control and my period isnt that heavy. i dont know what i am doing wrong, it goes in a little, then just stops. it kind of stings a little, but not too bad. ive gotten some in before, but im starting to get frusterated! anything im doing wrong or that could help? (link)
|
Try a generous dollop of Vasiline jelly on the end.
|
|
Is there anything that the principle can actually DO if I report racism? I don't want to waste my time tlaking to the principle (who I don't even like) and tell him about one of my biggest issues if there's no way he can do anything ot help. (link)
|
If it's racism by a student, any principal will be hard pressed to deal with it. If it is from a school employee, then there's a lot more he or she can do.
|
I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long! (link)
|
Putting your relationship online for the whole world to read us not a very loving thing to do. If he's feeling now like he did something wrong and regrets it, there's hope for your relationship. But if he sees nothing improper about his posting, the the two of you have very different sets of values and I don't see how you can build a life together like this.
|
|
I am kind of old fashioned when it comes to sex...not that I don't believe in sex before marriage but I can't just go have sex with anyone and think its no big deal, and I'm sure a large part of that is because I'm a virgin. however I'm in college and guys obviously aren't into that mindset. I have no problem doing other things, but to be honest i'm never totally into them because I feel like I don't even know the guys. Idk how do I deal with this when no guys want to wait on sex? (link)
|
It is always OK not to have sex. Nowadays, it seems, people regard sex as a way to get to know people, as opposed to getting to know someone really well before having sex with them. I think it cheapens the sex, and the people involved.
You might enjoy this essay:
http://www.leaderu.com/ftissues/ft9810/opinion/hinlicky.html
|
|
Ok here's my embarising problem I'm a 39yr old male and I have reoccuring hemroids I checked on line and found out there is inner and outer and in my case its outer the swelling is bad at times like right now as I speak iv tried everything over the counter but its only temporary it will eventualy clear up on its own but takes weeks to do so then it will come back .I don't know what to do it robs me of daily activities where its so painful at times that sitting down is unbareable I don't want to see a doctor if I don't have to but its getting to that point so what other options do I have .can anybody give me some advice please . (link)
|
It's doctor time.
Get your life back by getting this taken care of.
|
hello...
I got my period a week ago when will it come next and from when do i count.... EG from the first day i got it or the last your advice is greatly appreciated thanks (link)
|
Periods begin every 28 days, though every woman has her own cycle. So, for some women it's every 26 days or 32 days or whatever. There are women who have their period like clockwork, but others tend to be less predictable. Use a small calendar and start charting yourself so you will know what your cycle is.
|
ive been begging my parents for years to let me see a counsler but they say ill be fine its gotten to the point where im scared of myslf and i dont wanna live ths way but i dont know what to do any suggestions???
15f (link)
|
See if your school offers any counseling services. Many do in a wide variety of ways. Even if you only ask them how you can get counseling, that can be a good place to start.
Will the make an appointment with your doctor for you? If so, take that appointment and tell your doctor you would like to get some counseling. Perhaps he or she will recommend it to your parents.
You are doing the right thing trying to get help.
|
what do i do about this?
i am an 18 y/0 female.
sorry this is long!!
ok well to sum it up, ive been dating this guy for about 8 months. Thats a really long time for me. I also lost my virginity to him. In the past I have caught him lying, but after we broke up for a week he swears up and down he wont ever lie again. I love him with everything. I am completely attached to this boy. But last night I saw something I really wished i wouldnt have.
(dont judge me here please)
I was logged on to his facebook. the only reason i was, was to look at this girls pictures ( i couldnt look at her from mine because we wernt friends.)
Anyways while i was logged into his facebook a notification popped up saying
something like "heyyyy 817 997 6623" i didnt even see it long enough to see the number or girl bc it was deleted. ( i guess he was on with his own phone)
now keep in mind, we have a strict rule not to text or talk to the oppisite sex. Espically to not hide it from each other.
this really kills me that i saw this. It makes me think is he cheating on me? who is this girl? why is he hiding it?
& idk what to do because i cant confront him. im crying right now typing this because it kills me to think he is cheating on me, or even if its just mentally cheating.
please help me
what should i do? what should i think?
i am so beyond crushed right now :(
(link)
|
Your strict rule is holding him accountable for things he can't control. He cannot stop other people from sending him messages, and neither can you.
If you wanted to have a rule, it could be that neither one of you will respond to messages; that's controllable. More than a little unrealistic, but measurable and controllable.
Neither of you can live in a world where you have no contact with the opposite sex. Men and women can and do work together, be friends, and interact in ways that do not threaten relationships. If you can't accept that, you need to figure out why.
All you know for sure is he got a message. Ask him about it!
|
|
I got my NY learner's permit a week ago. I'm 16. I've been doing pretty good with driving so far. The other day I was driving down a main street with a licensed adult (my mother) in the car, I was going about 10mph. The person in front of me, like all of the other cars, stopped short, causing me to hit the car in front of me in the rear because I wasn't able to break fast enough. My mom's car got the most damage (only a slightly bent hood and cracked grille)..the car in front of me got minor scratches on the rear of her car. We went to go apologize to the lady, she wasn't too thrilled with us (understandable), but overall wasn't a very kind person..you could just tell. Overall, it was nothing big. I called the cops, and they came...no one was hurt at all. They told me not to worry because "she has no major damages". Of course being the emotional person that I am, I start crying because #1) this was my first car accident, that I caused!, #2) I didnt want to be sewed. #3) it was my mom's new car! :(. And #4)I don't want my mother's insurance rates to go too high; she has State Farm (never had an accident that "she" caused before). The cops were very nice and then we got the car towed away and it's being fixed currently. The insurance won't cover it because my mother doesn't have collission, so I feel bad enough about that! When we called State Farm they said not to worry about it right now because no claim was filed by the other party. Well, just my luck, the lady who I bumped into put in a claim. A very weird one actually. She claimed that when I hit her she hit the car in front of her. Now, I found this weird because on the Police Report it states word for word "ONLY two cars involved" and "the person who was hit had ONLY minor damages to the rear of her car". Nothing on the front of the car! There's no mention whatsoever of a third party. The cops who I talked to didn't even mention it, even the paramedics who showed up told me not to worry because there was no major damage and no one was hurt. So, what the heck?! When we told State Farm that there was no mention of this third car, the guy laughed and said "not surprised" I'm guessing he figures that she may be lying. When the whole accident occurred, she was the only one who was being talked to along with my mom and I. So, why is she doing this? If she's lying, won't she be caught for fraud? There were witnesses around, and the police even recorded on the police report what happend and that only two cars were involved. The lady has State Farm too. So, I guess my major questions are: Has this ever happend to anybody you know or yourself? What do you think about this? Will my mother's rates go up? Will I still be able to get my license in 6 months like New York law says I can, even though I got in a minor accident? And, does this lady have anything to even fight about? She can claim the scratches I guess if she really wanted to but her car has barely any damage at all! and she's claiming she has damage in the front (I was only going 10 mph, so she must have been really close to the car in front of her to get any damage at all..)..meanwhile no one mentioned it to us and, again, the police report even states there were only two cars involved and that she only had rear end damage! Keep in mind, if there really is this "third car", it must have left (so obviously they weren't worried about there damage, if any),or it doesn't exist. It would've been mentioned don't you think? Ughh. Please answer, Thankyou! (link)
|
Yes, it sounds very much like someone is attempting insurance fraud, and not doing a very good job it. either.
Do not worry, the insurance company will deal with it.
Not having collision is a way many people try and keep insurance rates low = sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
|
Right now I'm in the acquaintance zone, but I would really like to talk more and be friends with my crush. He's a sweetheart and also the brightest guy in my class. We have a paper to write and I was wondering if asking him for help on it would be a good way to get closer to him. I do not intend on pretending to be "dumb," but rather just asking for some feedback and revising. The problem is that he knows I'm smart and that writing this paper isn't going to be a huge issue for me, haha, but I'm just asking for a little assistance right? I have to email him to ask because we're not in school right now. And I definitely never see him outside of school so I can't use this as an excuse to "hang out." I'm honestly just looking for an excuse to talk to him because in person I'm a bit more shy because he makes me nervous. The point is that I don't want to come off as creepy. (My previous crush thought I was creepy :/). Am I over thinking this?
Thanks. (link)
|
No matter how carefully you put it, you are preparing to play dumb. Don't go there! On behalf of all the women ahead of you who had to fight to prove their minds and to be taken seriously, don't go there!
Not to mention, it's a lie.
However, to ask if he'd want to get together so you could proofread and critique each others papers, that's a whole different matter.
------------------------------
It's fine to ask if he wants to join you in a critique of each others papers. Don't email it until he agrees...
|
|
I was at a party last weekend. I hit it off with this guy, he's a senior, I'm a sophomore, he goes to a different school. I thought we really clicked. And we were back in the woods at this bonfire. We were just sitting by the fire, talking, for like three hours. People started drifting off but I didn't even notice and soon it was just me in him, I was sitting on his lap but he pulled me down so I was laying down and he was on top of me. I guess it was a little weird but I didn't mind too much at the time. I guess you could say we were dry humping, but he was really really forceful, like pushing really hard and kissing really hard and grabbing really hard and stuff. Granted, he is six foot four, 190 lbs of football/basketball/baseball toned muscle and I'm 105 pounds of 5'5 haha soo... I think he was trying to be gentle? I told him a few times, "not so hard" and it wasn't so bad when I was on top of him. We went out last night too, and he told me he really likes me, but we didn't make out or anything. I really like him and stuff but I'm worried our physical relationship might be bad... What should I do?? (link)
|
Next time you are together, say something like:
"Rupert, I like you and would like to get to know you better and (be sure you say 'and' not 'but')
I feel that we've gotten way too physical too fast. Can we dial it back?"
The 'and' and not 'but' is a big difference, it's almost as if 'but' wipes out everything you said before that word.
If he doesn't want to take several giant steps backward, I suggest you end the relationship.
|
I am 18 year old boy and there is a girl that I like. I am not going out with her but we work together. but it is
strange because I like her in a different way. Usually when I (or a boy my age) has a crush or likes a girl, it is usually sexual or based on appearance. With this girl, all I have cared about was her feelings. I realize that that's a good thing, but I don't feel that way about anybody else, not even other girls I have gone out with.
It feels like i'm in elementary school. I get really nervous around her, and I think about her the same way I used to think about my 1st grade crush. Nothing innapropriate.
I seem to care about her feelings way too much. Sometimes when she isn't smiling, I would ask if she is alright. I think I ask her that 4 times a week. I'm not saying I'm a careless person to other people, but when something is bothering her, it also bothers me. If she looks upset, I will talk to her about it and it concerns me for the rest of the day while I'm not even with her.
I am not the kind of guy to talk about my feelings, but when I talk to her I seem to let everything out, whether she cares or not. we have had a few conversations with each other and in those conversations, she would tell me about what she hates about herself and I would confort her. I would tell her about my insecurities and she would work with me. (we both seem to have self esteem issues). I feel nervous with her, but at the same time I feel too comfortable.
By the way, she has a boyfriend, so I'm not planning on making any moves or anything. We are just friends. (we aren't even very close friends. Just distant friends). Even if they broke up, she just started college put of state so she is 6 hours away. I'm just not sure why I feel this way about her. It's not like any crush I've had. By the way I realize that this is probably a normal feeling, but I'm young so it is new for me.
If you understand what I'm going through, it would be appreciated if you could explain.
Thank you. (link)
|
What you are experiencing is beyond a crush, this is love - caring about someone and their well being. Caring about the whole person, not just sexual attraction or what they can do for you, but who thy are and what they think.
Pardon me for sounding a bit maternal, but it's a good sign that you are maturing.
|
|
Ok well i'm thinking of having sex with my boyfriend this weekend. I just finished my period yesterday. Im wondering how you get in the mood to have sex. And also, isnt itkind of akward when a guy has to stop to but on a condom? I just need advice on how to get in the mood and stay in the mood. This is pretty urgent. (link)
|
If your not in the mood, and don't know how to get in the mood, you're not ready for sex. e in your
It makes a HUGE difference in your enjoyment and comfort.
If you think stopping to put on a condom is awkward, how awkward do you think it will be to tell him you got an STD or tell your Mom that you're pregnant?
Please rethink this.
|
One night at a party, and I was running around outside with my friends until i tripped and i lost my necklace. I asked a boy to help me look in the woods for it, because that's where I lost it. While we were in the woods, he said "What do I get if I find it?" and I said, you'll find out when you find it! And sure enough he found my necklace, then he asked for his "reward" and I said he gets nothing but a thank you.
So school started this week, and today a boy walked up to me and said "HEY, if i find your necklace will you give ME head?" and I was really confused. Until one of my close friends came up to me and asked me if i blew a kid who found my necklace at a party. Of course I said no.. because i didn't! And people in school keep bringing it up.
I guess I'm just asking if you have any tips on how to cope with it? Ignore it? Etc.
Thankssss. (link)
|
Ignore them. Hold your head high.
Chances are this is not the first time he has lied about his sexual adventures and his friends are probably suspicious, but hoping he's telling the truth so that there's hope for them, too.
If pressed you can respond "Oh, is that what he's saying? That's interesting."
|
ok so my sister just got dumped by her boyfriend and she is having a party tomorrow night. i wanna burn a cd for her to have at the party and i want it to be a really fun party cd to let her forget about him! does anyone have any suggestions maybe like "patron tequila" or "a toast to men" that kind of just says, who needs him! lets have a fun night!
haha thanks! (link)
|
Go for Girl Power!!! Help her forget all about men for one night!
|
So my parents are getting divorced. Well, they've been saying that for 17 years (since I was born) but they're actually going to now.
Of course many of my friends have divorced parents and I thought that if they were going to get divorced, it's later on that'll be okay but I'm actually wrong. I just feel so...I can’t even describe it! Like the divorcing part, I really don’t care much I guess since I keep going into this mode when they always talked about it to prepare myself.
And back then I was. But now that there's so much at stake and I'm going to university next year and I have two younger siblings to think about, I really don't know!
How did children of divorced parents even get through with this?! Please help me. I just feel awful and I can’t believe that of all things, THIS is happening to me on my last year of high school. (link)
|
I'm so sorry to hear you are in this situation. This is going to be a painful time for you.
Does your school offer any counseling? Or would your parents be agreeable to you some getting some counseling? You need a safe place to vent and talk things out.
You certainly need to know, as soon as possible, what they are going to do about your college education.
This is one of those things in life that are hard to imagine recovering from. And while things will never be the same, they can be good again. It will take a little time, but the sunshine will feel warm again, jokes will be funny once more, air will move in and out of your lungs and you will survive.
|
|
15/m im about to have sex for the first time this sarurday what should i do not to embarrass myself :/ (link)
|
Don't do it. That's the only way I can think of that you won't risk embarassing yourself.
|
|