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Is this a crush or more?
I am 18 year old boy and there is a girl that I like. I am not going out with her but we work together. but it is
strange because I like her in a different way. Usually when I (or a boy my age) has a crush or likes a girl, it is usually sexual or based on appearance. With this girl, all I have cared about was her feelings. I realize that that's a good thing, but I don't feel that way about anybody else, not even other girls I have gone out with.
It feels like i'm in elementary school. I get really nervous around her, and I think about her the same way I used to think about my 1st grade crush. Nothing innapropriate.
I seem to care about her feelings way too much. Sometimes when she isn't smiling, I would ask if she is alright. I think I ask her that 4 times a week. I'm not saying I'm a careless person to other people, but when something is bothering her, it also bothers me. If she looks upset, I will talk to her about it and it concerns me for the rest of the day while I'm not even with her.
I am not the kind of guy to talk about my feelings, but when I talk to her I seem to let everything out, whether she cares or not. we have had a few conversations with each other and in those conversations, she would tell me about what she hates about herself and I would confort her. I would tell her about my insecurities and she would work with me. (we both seem to have self esteem issues). I feel nervous with her, but at the same time I feel too comfortable.
By the way, she has a boyfriend, so I'm not planning on making any moves or anything. We are just friends. (we aren't even very close friends. Just distant friends). Even if they broke up, she just started college put of state so she is 6 hours away. I'm just not sure why I feel this way about her. It's not like any crush I've had. By the way I realize that this is probably a normal feeling, but I'm young so it is new for me.
If you understand what I'm going through, it would be appreciated if you could explain.
Thank you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
so, this is not love, this is infatuation. and it's certainly lovely, as the women responders have noted, but also harmful if you don't recognize it for what it is. as long as the "friendship" remains mutual -- as in, she continues to support you emotionally as you do for her -- then things are fine, but realize that the chances of this lasting forever seem small. especially since she is now far away, and also has a boyfriend. continue to be kind to her and help her out, but find ways to concentrate your attentions elsewhere, or on someone who is close by.
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As a 17 year old girl, i can tell you that if any boy thought that way of me, i would be the happiest girl alive. I understand that because you're a guy, its natural for you to have "sexual" feelings toward girls your age, but that you dont have them for her like that just shows that you really care about her. Something about her personality that overcomes the whole "lustful feelings". I wish you the best of luck trying to deal with your feelings. :)
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What you are experiencing is beyond a crush, this is love - caring about someone and their well being. Caring about the whole person, not just sexual attraction or what they can do for you, but who thy are and what they think.
Pardon me for sounding a bit maternal, but it's a good sign that you are maturing.
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