OrionsFire's advice column

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Q: me and my friend want to do a duet for solo tryouts. but we dont hav a song. can you plz give me a few ideas????. thx

~natalie and hannah~

First of all, how can you do a duet for solo tryouts? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of solo? If you are just talking about a singing competition, then listen to the radio and pick out any duets and see if they are compatible for both of you. Otherwise, Whitney Houston used to do some duets, you could check into that.

Q: My daughter is 15 months old. She's off her bottle now, but I can't seem to get her off of her pacifier. Does anyone have ideas to get her off her pacifier?

I wouldn't mind her keeping it, except that it is starting to pull her teeth forward.

If the problem is her teeth, first I suggest going and getting a dentist recommended pacifier. Then, I would slowly start to ween her off of it and only have it around at designated times. She needs to learn how to soothe herself without the help of a pacifier.

Q: hey my name is Ashley and i'm a feamle(of course) and i'm 14 yrs. old heres my question for anybody with good advice!!!

I like my best friends ex!!! Heres the scoop... they broke up because my best friend was confused and she cheated on him. Well now(two months later) she starts telling me she now knows what she was missing and she really did love him and she wants desperately to go with him again. Now i've been talking to him since they broke up because he needed a friend cuz he really liked her but she cheated on him.(yea i kno guys actually have feelings...well at least the good ones) and i'm starting to like him now i mean he's the perfect boyfriend he's cute, hilarious, loving, i don't know he's just soOoOo great!! the thing is that my best friend who i've been friends with for almost 11 yrs. still "loves" him i really really think she'll be so mad if he askes me out or if i ask him. I dont know what to do cuz i dont want her to be mad at me but i dont get very many guys nowadays and i really like him and he told me i was hot yesterday please help me!!

Luv,

~~~ASHLEY~~~

P.S. i rate high

Well, I do think that he likes you if he told you that you were hot. If you can, be honest with your best friend and tell her that you are attracted to him and have recently thought about hooking up with him. Normally, she will be pretty pissed off, but there isn't much you can do about that. Most likely, this will all cause a lot of problems and you probably shouldn't get involved, but you need to weigh your options and see which path you prefer.

EDITED: I don't know why you just insulted me, I know that he said YOU were hot.

Q: ... i love my boyfriend and never want to leave him .... its just sometimes ... i dont and i want to kill myself because he never seems happy with me ... he get irritated and even slaps me sometimes. But i dont want to break up! Please help ... I dont know what else to do

~ Hurtin' on the outside

If he is hitting you, you need to distance yourself from him and completely run him out of your life relationship-wise. You do NOT want this situation to escalate to where he is beating you on a regular basis and then coming back to say he loves you and will never do it again. Tell him he needs help with his anger and that you do not want to be around him until he has it under control.

Q: my friend is goin out with the guy i like and my other best friend likes him. how can i win him over the other 2?i rate high.

p.s. the other 2 girls are mad at me for certain reasons

Well first, I think it's pretty crappy that you are trying to steal your friend's boyfriend. It doesn't matter that your best friend likes him, if he doesn't like her there is nothing she can do about it. Also, the same applies to you. If you don't care about losing your friendship or rumors being spread about you, then just ask him if he would like to do something with you sometime.

Q: on my myspace .. it wont let me instant message anyone. it pulls up the screen and all, but then it keeps saying "connecting" and it has been like that for 5 minutes. it worked fine like 4 hours ago, i dont know what ahppened. does anyone know what i can do to make it work?

I think they are always doing work on myspace and therefore have a lot of downtime, just keep trying and eventually the problem should correct itself. Otherwise, message the operator and I'm sure he will try to help you.

Q: my life is messed up. all my life it seems like i've been trying to find the perfect guy for me. but they always end up liking my cousin or friend. like now i like this guy and i thought he liked me. he was flirting and messing with my emotions. and today he asked another girl out and for her number that happens to be my friend. and last year i liked this guy and he started dating my friend. and most of the time all the guys like my cousin because she's pretty. i feel like a nobody. but i really want to get to know that one boy that likes my friend. what's wrong with these boys.. better yet, what's wrong with me? and i'm not the kind of girl that gets stuck on one boy but i really like this one. how could he do this to me?

There's nothing wrong with you, these guys just aren't the one for you. If you think that these guys usually go for your cousin because she is pretty, then is that a guy you really want in your life anyway? Someone who can see behind looks and into your personality is the way to go, when you find that guy, it won't matter who your friends are or what your cousin looks like.

Q: i just started a new job a couple days ago, and i've come to believe that one of my co-workers doesn't like me very much.

why i think that is because on my second day, i came up to her to ask her a question to see if our store carried baby books for a customer that was looking for one. my co-worker just rudely glared at me for long while, and looked away without answering my question.

as you can imagine, i was pretty pissed off because i hadn't familiarized myself with the merchandise and the customer was waiting on me to give her a response. and my co-worker, who was working in infants, didn't even bother to put any effort into helping this customer!

not only that, she ignores me every time i'm around and she complained to the same customer i was dealing with: "she doesn't know anything, she hasn't even been working here long."

what i want to know is what i should do about this situation? obviously i don't want to confront her about it with the risk of increased hostility between us. and i'm not sure if it's appropriate to talk to my other co-workers about it...should i just wait it out and toughen up and hopefully she won't be so "bitchy"?

-zero tolerance

Definitally do not run to your other co-workers and tattle on her. If you have a problem with her, take it up with her. Politely ask her if she has a personal problem with you because you noticed she has been rather hostile towards you. Also, if she was working in infants, wouldn't that mean the baby books were right around there? You could have also directed the customer right over to her since you are so new. Make sure you make that clear to any customer who you cannot help and familiarize yourself with the store more.

Q: I was at a party last night with a bunch of friends. We all had our cars parked in front of the house the party was at and the actual party took place inside the house and in the backyard. Well, when the party was over, everyone went outside and found all the cars keyed, wrapped, and egged. There were some notes on some cars that said "Spoiled bitches got what they deserved" We had no idea who did it or what the notes meant until school today. A girl came up to us and was like "how do y'all like your cars now?" This is a girl that we do not get along with at all. So, we believe it's her. Oh and by the way, we've never done anything mean to her or her friends. I told my dad that we think we know who did it (he's a Lawyer) but he said that unless we have some kind of proof, there's nothing he can do legally. Is there anything we can try?

Unless you can get her or her friends to admit that they did it, there really isn't much you are going to do. Sometimes they will confess with guilt, but usually not. Pressure her friends into giving you more information.

Q: Ive got 2 friend, Tamsinn and Ben and theyre a couple. Well Tamsin wants to break up with Ben because she says he's annoying and all that...but Ben is trying to kill himself now that he heard that...I need help because i really dont want to lose a friend.
Thanks

Talk to him and tell the counselor, usually you can even do that anonymously. Obviously killing himself over this situation isn't what he REALLY wants to do, remind him that if he dies, there is no way he is ever going to date anyone.

Q: okay...theres this boy that i wanna ask to our end of school dance, but i already asked him whose hes goin with and he said no one and i didnt ask him to the dance. i have no idea how to do it. any suggestions? or any ways to get him to ask me?

The most mature and easiest way to ask is just go up to him and ask if he wants to go with you. He may be blown away by your courage and the fact that you didn't need notes or tons of friends to ask him. Besides, isn't it harder to say NO in person?

Q: One of my friends has tried to comitte suicide twice before and i am afraid she will do it again it terifies me what should i do.

Have you asked HER if she is thinking suicidal thoughts or has she displayed any suicidal tendencies? If she has, then I suggest talking to a school counselor or her parents, though if she has already tried to commit suicide twice, I am guessing her parents know the risk she is already at.

Q: female/13
There is this guy i like. lets call him k. but like 5 other girls do too. But this might sound like something everyone would say, but i've liked k the longest. one of my friends, lets call her r, who also likes k started liking him after me and when k found out we both liked him, he told my other friend, s, he liked both of us back. now that was a while ago. then r, went out with someone totally different, we'll call him a. but then a broke up with r like 2 weeks later and r started liking k again. now all this time, i've liked k. NOW, my other friend, L, likes k also!!! but i've talked to both of them and my friend r says that even though she likes k, she knows how much i do and that i could have him. i guess. then L told me that she knows how long i've liked k and that she knows how it feels to not get the one that you want and to watch someone else have him. (thats a different story). but then if i get k, i'll feel really bad for all the others who like him, even though i've been waiting forever to have him, even before i knew anyone else liked him. please help. i dont know what to do.
~ E

First of all, no one knows who these people are so I don't know why you just created an alphabet of people. That's pretty immature to begin with and maybe you aren't ready to date.

Second, it doesn't matter who likes him the longest or who likes him now or whatever else, it matters who he likes also. If he doesn't want to date you, he won't. If you really want to see if he likes you, the most mature thing you can do is ask him.

Q: hi, im 15 f and i really want a bf. but everytime i go near a boy i get all shy, is this normal? please help
confused girl :S

Yes, it's normal. Why do you want a bf? Just so you can say you have one? Wait until you meet a boy you really like and feel you can be open with before you make a decision that you want a boyfriend.

Q: I am 27 years old 3 kids and maried for almost 10 years.Ok this is the situation my ex from bak middle school is good frien with my sister and myself.WE started talking or a little bit like friens thats all.Even though i think he still cares for me more than just a friend.Now this the problem my huban found out that h calls me and we talked,and he thinks tht i hav somenthing going on with him.I try to explain him that nothing like that that we are just friends an he not understanding.He even thinking divorce because he thinks that i have somenthing mor than
just friend.I need help.Ihave tryed to explained him that it i nothing like that,that i will never o suh thing.He does not believe me.What could i do to making understand that love him an that he means the world to me.PLEASE HELP!

You said you still believe your friend cares about you, unless you make it painfully obvious to him that nothing will ever happen, then I think you are waiting to see what happens on both ends. Are you keeping this other guy around because you really want to be friends with him, or you want him as a fall back incase something happens with your husband? Your husband will most likely not understand or accept of your relationship and it may come down to choosing between them.

Q: my friend has been 2 months late on her period.. she took a pregnancy test and claims shes not pregnant. she said that if there are 2 lines, it means shes pregnant..well i saw 2 lines, one was darker than the other and when i said i saw 2 lines she threw the pregnancy test back in the box. shes been awfully moody lately and has been telling her parents she has gotten her period for the past 2 months. she hasnt been acting the same..im really worried. what do you think?

Often times the second line will be MUCH lighter then the first one, to the point where you can barely see it if you took it right after the missed period. The chances of a false positive are almost nil (unless you are on certain medications), so you should really push her to go to a doctor or planned parenthood and get checked out. Tell her for her own health as well as the babies, it is better to find out sooner then later.

Q: My friend Tiffany always be having sex and I'm worried about her. she might have another kid and have to put it up for adoption. or she might get AIDS. I don't want that to happen. should I let her get hurt? or try to talk to her and help her?

There's nothing you can do to stop her actions, the most you can do is make suggestions like "use protection".

Q: Ok my bf and I had sex and I missed my peroid for like two weeks. And this is really nasty and srry but need help. I had this nasty yellow/white stuff coming out of me and it looked like it had an egg in it. But right after that I got my peroid. Did I have a miss carriage. I sound really stupid but I really don't have anyone to ask. Well now we broke up and I just wanted to know. Thanks

No, it wasn't a miscarriage. It does sound like you have a yeast infection or some STD though. Unless you are talking about a boogery substance that is normal when you are ovulating, but then it really shouldn't be yellow.

Q: I have an Alligator Snapper. It is still very young and is only about 9-10 ounces. What should I feed it? I have tried "Reptile Sticks" that float, but Squirt(The Turtle) doesn't eat them that much...What other kinda stuff is out there?

Thanks....
I rate!