|
mariage
I am 27 years old 3 kids and maried for almost 10 years.Ok this is the situation my ex from bak middle school is good frien with my sister and myself.WE started talking or a little bit like friens thats all.Even though i think he still cares for me more than just a friend.Now this the problem my huban found out that h calls me and we talked,and he thinks tht i hav somenthing going on with him.I try to explain him that nothing like that that we are just friends an he not understanding.He even thinking divorce because he thinks that i have somenthing mor than
just friend.I need help.Ihave tryed to explained him that it i nothing like that,that i will never o suh thing.He does not believe me.What could i do to making understand that love him an that he means the world to me.PLEASE HELP!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The main thing in a realtionship is trust. He is obviously jealous of the friendship you have with this other man and because he is accusing you of having an affair he obviously doesn't realise exactly who you are. You now have to stand up for yourself and let him know how seriously you take marriage and how seriously upset he is making you by these accusations. You have to tell him that by accusing you in this way he obviously doesn't know what sort of person you really are. There is nothing stopping you being friends with the opposite sex and nothing more will happen because you are married and it will stay that way. Tell your husband that you are upset and angry and that you would never do such a thing. The sooner he realises this the better and you have to stand up for yourself and let him know where he stands. Good luck x
]
he obviously has a problem with trust. if he did trust you than he wouldnt have doubts about your relationship with this guy. if he loved you enough he would listen to you and know that you havent been unfaithful towards him. you said you have 3 kids. you need to let him know that divorce isnt the answer to his mis-trust and this could affect his childrens life in a major way. i am a child of divorce and my life has not been the same since. i hate myself- blame myslef for what happened between my parents.
i would suggest getting all three of you together...maybe even your sister aswell, talking about it may help clear the air. you could get the other guy to explain to your husband that nothign has happened and even though he may still have feelings for you, marriage is sacred and you have taken vows to be together for the rest of your life. XOXO good luck
]
Tell him if he doesn't approve of you talking to ex you will stop. Then stick to the agreement. Write him a long letter and explain how you feel about him. It sounds stupid I know but do it when you can concentrate on what you want to tell him...without his talking back interrupting your thinking. :) Good luck
]
im going to try and help the best i can cause i would hate to hear a ten year relationship is about to break up.. Okay well first of all maybe stop talking to this guy so much.. if you think this guy that you think still might have feelings for you more then friends.. maybe get him to tell your husband that your not messing around with him.. jus tell your husband you been with him 10 years you have 3 children with him and that you love him so much for what he has done for you,, you been married since about my age so i could imagine how this is probably tearing you up inside knowing he dont trust you.. tell him you dont want to lose the ten years youve had with him tell him you want way way more then ten years you plan on spending the rest of your life with him and that this would also tear your kids up inside too.. tell him he should try for them and you.. much luv dez x0x0 best of luck..
]
Well you have lost your husband's trust. no matter how innocently it may be on your part. It's his feelings of trust and if he doesn't trust you now, it can't be helped immediately. If you mean what you say, then you have to cut all ties with the old friend from school, and just be there for your husband. I hope that he won't be so stupid to break up a family with three small kids, just for his ego. I think he is just blowing off steam. Divorce is not easy and very expensive. But it is time for all to calm down and you have got to earn back his trust, it will take some time. I think deep in his heart he knows that nothing happened, after all after 10 years he should know you, but he is angry and i can't blame him. and he wants to be sure that you don't do something like this again. Some husbands can tolerate their wives having male friends,and some cannot. yours I guess, cannot. so if you mean what you say, then take the time and be patient, and he will come around again.
Michele
]
Have you introduced your husband to your friend? If you weren't keeping it a secret, it would not be perceived as a betrayal. Tell your husband that you are sorry that you didn't say what was going on and that you are breaking off contact.
I would highly encourage some one on one time between you and your husband to remind him of why you are married. Take the kids to the sitters and do something fun and romantic. Hopefully, your husband will forgive you and it will all blow over.
I wish this didn't mean that you wouldn't lose your friend, but isn't your family a little more important?
]
You said you still believe your friend cares about you, unless you make it painfully obvious to him that nothing will ever happen, then I think you are waiting to see what happens on both ends. Are you keeping this other guy around because you really want to be friends with him, or you want him as a fall back incase something happens with your husband? Your husband will most likely not understand or accept of your relationship and it may come down to choosing between them.
]
Your husband distrusts you becuase you kept the relationship a secret. If you want to stay married, admit to your husband that YOU were wrong. Promise to break off contact with your ex, and DO it. He is no longer part of your life, nor should be. Your duty is to your husband and children.
]
I Really do know how you feel. Me and my husband had the same problem just recently and he thaught I was cheating on him with my best friend whome i've been friends with since Kindergarten anyways my husbannd caught us having lunch together and when i got home my husband freaked out on me and was acusing me of cheating and all that junk. So I said well if you really loved me then you would know i would never do anything to hurt you in anyway just like i know you wouldnt hurt me. since then hes been alot more understanding. Cause really if he loves you as much as he says he does then he would trust you the way you trust him.
Hope this helps you out !
-Christina C.
]
More Questions: |