AuntieEm's advice column

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Q: alright so im (15/f) and all of my friends have done stuff with boys. i havent. is that wierd? i think im just scared because once i find someone i really like i dont wanna be like hey yeah i dont know what the heck im doing! lol soo what should i do.

no way is that werid!
i am 14
i have some friends who have had sex many times
i have some friends who have had oral sex
i have friends that have just made out
friends that have only kissed
and friends that havent even done that!

its nothing werid at all! (no one knows what they are doing at first anyway)

you should just wait till the right moment to do (or not do) what you decide
whether its just kiss, or "go all the way" (be safe please!)

just do not be like "I wanna get this over with!" and do something you regret, k?

anyway, good luck! :)

Q: 16/f

I really want to get a summer job but I want to do something around my neighborhood. Something like selling original t-shirts, petsitting or babysitting. Any ideas? a list of jobs would be great!

i dont know about in your community, but in mine, you have to have the house numbers clearly on the curb, visible. where i live, its up at a $200 fine if its not up to code.

my friend and i go around, and ask people if they would like theres done. We charge $10 per house, which if you explain the fine, people gladly do (check on codes and stuff in your neighborhood).

If you do it you will need;
White spray paint
Black spray paint
Number stencils (seperated, large)
a bucket you carry supplies
a zippered pouch to carry money
change to start with if people dont have $10
and a friend :)

if you decide to do this, i can explain how to if ya need :)

GOOD LUCK!

Q: This sounds kind of cliche, but I don't have any friends. I have acquatences (sp?) at school and really only one friend who goes to another school and she is going to another country in the summer. Its not that I'm unable to make friends. Most people that I meet like me and I like them, I'm quite friendly. I just never seem to become close with any of them. I used to be with a group of friends, but we're not in touch anymore. I don't want to be alone all summer, I was wondering of anyone could tell me where to meet new people that I could become friends with and stay in touch with. Any help along the lines of getting friends and keeping them would be very much appreciated. I'll rate high.

in the last few days of school ask people for there cell numbers. Just say "we should hang out some time, whats your number?".

Also, when signin year books, put your number too.

Its a sure fire way for when people are bored to remeber.

So, this summer, just call someone up and say "hey, you wanna hang out tonight? maybe a movie" or "hey, you wanna go to the pool today?"

just be casual!!

HAGS! (ha!) :)

Q: Hello,
I was just wondering if anyone can give me some good vacation ideas? OK, we live in Latrobe, Pa. We only want to go for a weekend. It will be me, my husband & our 2 kids, (3 & 6). We would like it to be somewhat cheap & close by. Even in the Ohio, West Virginia range would be fine. As long as it is in driving distance. So, if anyone had any experiences with any place fun & inexpensive or has any ideas in general it would be greatly appriciated. We can also go to places offering military discounts. Thankyou.

if you like the camping ideas, somewhere close to Latrobe is Racoon State Park is AWESOME

also, if you are steelers fans (if you are, im sure you've done this, living in latrobe and all)
Go to training camp in august

i have gone the past 6 years (im 14 now) and its still fun.

Also, i hear luray caverns is nice and a fun place to visit, as well as the city of pittsburgh.

You could also go see a show in Phili.

Hope you find something fun! :)

Q: I don't want this to be long or panic-y, but I need some advice. My friend and I are 13. There is a 17-year old across the street who is 17 and a juvi. My parents think he is 18, but really isn't. We played basketball with let's call him C, and we got his number. We hung out with him and we lied about out ages and we said we were 15 and 16. We lied about where we go to school and everything, and now we're hanging out with him. I've been lying to my parents about where we going and everything, but here is the main problem. I'm going into 8th grade this fall, and getting on the bus (right in front of my house!) in the morning is no big, but when the bus drops us off, it's 3:50pm. Big problem, because C smokes, and has to go outside and smokes. What if he sees us? I really hate to lie to everyone around me, and the lies keep getting bigger. Should I be honest with C? My friend and I have been flirting big time with him, and that will ruin out friendship. And, the other problem, even though C is moving is September, I'll have started school, and his brothers go to my new school! What should I do as an overall result? Thanks so much!

well, if his brothers are going to your school, he is going to find out.

Just know, once he finds out, he may not be friends with you anymore.

If you just tell him, he might forgive you faster though. Just tell him, you are really sorry, but you thought he wouldnt talk to you if he knew you were only 13.

This is a crazy situation, and lieing like that always brings crazyness, trust me, i know.

Good luck! :)

Q: Okay .. I shave "down there", and I have done so for the past three years. I know how to do it so that I won't irritate my skin and I'm more comfortable with it shaved.

I try to keep it cleanly shaved but it grows back fast and then shaving it is difficult - the hair is very short and blunt, and it's painful to try to shave. I was wondering if anyone had any tips for keeping that area smooth as much as possible. I hate waiting for it all to grow out and then shave it because it's very uncomfortable.

Thank you very much.

get one of those like, mini shaver things
they are usually avertisted for the short hairs on guys face or eye brows

its what i use, and i love it.

hope it helps :)

Q: Hey, im nicole 14 almost turning 15 come august. And i really have no idea what i wanna do for my bday. Last year i did lake compouce which is a theme park wit like rollar coasters and stuff if any of you dont know that. And so about 2 months ago i became a promoter at a club.. and i was thinking that for my bday party, renting it out and stuff for a night. but i really think thats more sweet sixteen and i wanna save that for my 16th bday. cause if i do it this year then do it again next year it wont be anything special come sweet sixteen. so anyways does anyone have any ideas for like things to do or places to go for a 15 year old bday party with about maybe 10 people;guys&gurls.

if you do that would be great :)

Thanks, Nicole.

house party
pool?
bowling/skating

it really depends on what you and your friends like to do.

happy early b-day!
:)

Q: Me and my bf make out all the time but i always have my hands just like to myself idk what to do with them..... anybody have any ideas of what i can do?

run your fingers through his hair (if it isnt curly, or if there is enough)

lol it just comes naturally
dont think about it

DONT THINK-JUST DO! :)

Q: Okay. 14/F. I have really low self esteem. I can't stand the way I look. I just completely hate myself. I hate my looks, I hate my personality, I just hate everything about me! I've thought about cutting SO many times, and I was actually ready to one day, but my friend stopped me. Honestly, I feel like she's the only person who cares whether I do it or not. I guess my question is, What can I do to feel better about myself?

have a friend/s write down everything they like about you
write down everything you like about your self, nothing negative.
Dont ask a parent, because they are biased, make sure it is a friend you trust, s/he will be honest.

And when you get down, read it. Over and over and over. Dont tell yourself its not true, because you wrote some, and someone you will trust wrote some too.
It sounds really gay, but it helps.

Also, look at old pictures of you and friends, remeber better times, and proof you must have some good qualities. Save old birthday cards, or notes people give you. Anything that ever makes you happy, keep it in a box.

I hope that helps, and if it doesnt, ask back okay?

Also, if it really doesnt get better, im not saying you are crazy, go talk to a school guidence person, they are a great help for when you are sad. :)

Q: im having revival at my church all this week. i forgot to ask off from work, and im the type of person that hates to inconvenience people. i got someone to work for me monday. my only two days are today and friday. today, im supost to be training a new girl(about the 5th one theyve had me train),so, their definetely gonig to be inconvenienced. plus, tomorrow,i have a family graduation party to go to. i just feel bad asking for the whole week off, and inconveniencing them. any ideas on what i can say?

call or email (however your boss perfers) and just say "As i was looking at my work schedule, i relized i need the whole week off. I have a church revival this whole week, and a very important family members graduation from (high school, college, w/e it is). I have covering for me Monday, and i would really appercaite the time off. I am sorry for any inconvenice that it may cause. Thank you, and have a nice day. Sincerly, " (If its over the phone, make it sound more how you would talk.)

Good luck, and have fun at the revival! :)

Q: Okay, I don't know you, but your advice column was rated really high. I have 2 dads and I live with my stepdad right now. My biological dad had a massive heartattack and he died today about an hour ago. I really am going to miss him...but I don't know how much I will miss him. I never really saw him, and one time he tried to kidnap me. So, I really need help. What should I do!?

well first off let me say how terribly sorry i am.

There isnt a book on this kind of thing. You will miss him as much or as little as your head and heart decide. Somedays you wont even think about it, others you may cry your eyes out.

There isnt really anything you can do, you cant just say "i will miss him this much" or "i wont miss him"

Even if he has done crazy things in the past, your head and your heart (subconsiously) will take care of how much or little to miss him.

Again, im sorry, and be very greatful you have your step dad

If you need anything else, just ask :)

Q: Here is my issue. About 2 years ago, I joined an internet forum as a false name, without my parents knowledge. A year and a half ago, I used that false name to start giving advice, again without my parents knowledge. I eventually turned back to myself around a year ago, and came here 3/4 of a year ago, again without my parents knowledge.
Now, my parents would probably not let me see the light of day again if they found out that I did all that I did without their knowledge. There's the background.
Now, I need to fill out a senior survey for my Guidence Counselor, so that she can write an accurate report on me to send off to my colleges I am applying for. I read down, and eventually saw "List all work experiances which you have gained by donating your services (any and all volunteer experiances)". I really wish to send all of my volunteer hours advising teenagers to colleges, yet if my parents find out, I am going to be murdered. And it is not like I am upset because I cannot say I helped a few girls decide what to wear. I have actually saved almost 100 people from killing themselves. That is the kind of thing that I do not want colleges to not hear.
So, first off, what would you do in this situation?
I decided to go to my Guidence Counselor, to ask her a whole bunch of questions. These include her confidentiality between me and my parents in cases that do not involve depression or anything like that, and what exactly I should do in my situation. What are the laws of New Jersey or other states regarding which information is confidential between you and her?
Thank you all very much. I love you all for this help.

Talkin with the consouler is confidental, im sure
i spent almost all of this year with mine, and my parents dont know what we descuss because if you say its private, it will stay that way (unless your gonna like, kill your self i think, but that isnt your situation)

even if they do, helping people=good!

so talk to the consoler, get her advice, and best of luck at school!

:)

Q: HELP!
I've had 5 relatives die on me the last week.
And I've given speeches on 4 of their funerals so far, and they've all been..awful.
Tomorrow I'm giving a speech on my grandmother, so please help! What can I say? I really have no personal memories of her!! But I have to do this - I promised!! please please help me.
Any nice heartwarming speeches you've heard of that I can use as inspiration ?? or any special websites for these kind of things?? thaank you!

cliche but true, it should just be from the heart.
even if you dont have any memories
talk about that

just say something like
"These past weeks have been very tough on all of us, taking from us 5 members of this amazing family, and now .i didnt know her very well. and i dont have any good memories of her. That makes me really sad though, because from what i heard, she was an amazing women. I wish that i had been able to spend more time with her, and get to know her. Unfortuantly, so i never got the chance. Many of you in this room have so many great memories of her, yet there are many like me with none. It is now that i will say Rest in Peace and move on to Heaven (or whatever you and your family believes in) to my grandmother."

I am terribly sorry for your loss, and i hope that no more come of these next weeks. :)

Q: My best friend ALWAYS has to have all the guys like her. Well, if a guy likes me or shows any signs in liking me she will try to get him to like her. She brags about all her guys, and she tries to flirt with the guys that like me. Why does she do this? I can't talk to her. What should I do? I'll give 5's. Thanks. And if you have good advice I'll give you the name of my column so we can talk more. Xoxo

This is harsh, so brace yourself;

If she doesnt this, she isnt a best friend
If you can't talk to her about it, she isnt a best friend.
Honestly, this girl sounds like a greedy, self centered brat.

Harsh, but sounds true to me.

A real best friend you can tell anything to. If you cant, then she isnt a good friend.

Try and talk to her
if she is a brat, or doesnt listen, or gets mad, give it a few days, and try again. If she still doesnt get it, find some new friends. Don't totally dump her, but try and move on a bit.

hope that helps! :)

Q: I invited my friend to go to Santa Barbara with me but her parents won't let her go until they see her report card.The problem is the report cards don't get mailed until after the trip! HOw can i get my friend to go on the trip now?

have her explain they dont get mailed out

also, if school is still in, have her go to all of her teachers, and get grade sheets or have them email her parents with her grades.

best of luck and have tons of fun! :)

Q: Dear Columnists,
I need help really bad. Last weekend I was at a sleepover with me and my 2 other friends. They are my best friends. I was talking to my -ex and he said that he liked my friend...(one of the ones that was sleeping over)They went out for a while and I cried the whole time. She broke up with him because she felt bad ad that she did want this kid to Jepordise our friendship. She is giving me time but I feel inside as I never want them to get back together...Even though I am being selfish. I still love him! We have been off and on for a little. What should I do?

Srry it was SO long.

I rate 5's for good answers!

PLEASE HELP!

tell your friend how you feel
and if she is a good friend, she will back off
I have liked guys my best friends, or even just people im kinda friends with, and when i found i they liked them, i backed off.
It is like, girl code lol
you dont date your friends ex without her being okay with it

talk to her, tell her the truth about it, and if she is a real friend, she will be okay with it.

Best of luck, and yours wasnt long at all :)

Q: me and my boyfriend are expecting a baby in february. we are obviously not married- but im wondering if when it comes, will it obtain my last name or his?- i was thnking itd have to be mine- since hes not really my spouse- but is there any way can request that it has his last name if needed?

my older sister just had a baby
and she gave it her boyfriends last name

but you can choose eaither

:)

oh, and congrats!

Q: how do i change my password if the email doesnt send it to me? i have tried to do that verifying letters/numbers thing in order to change the pass word but the email didnt get sent to me! its been like a week. so how can i get it becaues i need to change my password. and please dont say get a new sn.. please just dont. there has to be a way!!

did you check your spam folder?
it may have been sent there...

Q: What do i do if this boy acts like he likes me around certain people, but then he talks about me really bad around other people. Should I just forget him?

YES! it will be hard, but forget that jerk. No girl deserves a guy like that. And he is obvously fake, if he is like this and you arent even together, think how he would act if you DID get together. Not good. Forget that loser and move on!

:)

Q: What should I do if i like this boy and we hug in the hallway and i have his number, but I am scared that he will not like me if we start to be friends? What do i do?

you hug him and have his number
but you arent friends?

bio

Hey! I'm Em, my friend Tori got one of these, so i decided to check it out, and got OBBESSED! i am always giving my friends advice, so please, ask away, and i will do my best to help!