icey0990's advice column | Page 74

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

NY

Occupation:

Residential Associate/ College Student

Age:

21

Member Since:

July 28, 2004

Answers:

2046

Last Update:

March 30, 2010

Visitors:

105488

Favorite Columnists

Main Categories:

Work/School Relationships

about

advice

well, my friend, who happens to be the same sex as me, keeps getting uncomforatblely close to me... well actually 2 same sex friends do this... and when i ask them to stop they constantly do this and one i think doesn't do it on purpose and she's always doing this and it bugs the heck out of me... how do i make it stop?!?!?

you were probably like "stop.." in a kinda of calm tone right? well next time..say it louder and firmer so they really get it. Just tell them your sick of them doing that and it makes you really uncomfortable.

Hey, I'm 13/F and I just got my period in January. I had it for 6 days. I haven't gotten it since!! It's the end of March now which means I skipped two months?? I know I'm not pregnant (I have no idea how to spell it)
Is something wrong with me???

nope..skipped periods is part of the fun of growing up..your perfectly fine. :)

i hate liars and my boyfrined lies constantly.. not so much to me.. but sometimes to me.. i cant always tell if hes telling the truth.. i guess sometimes his lies are for my benefit? we also really like eachother.. what should i do

any kind of relationship..whether its a bf/gf thing or a fwb thing..must have a level of trust. when the trust is broken ..the relationship begins to fall apart. tell him you dont want him to lie to you..because you need to feel like you can trust him..i dont blame you for having trust problems with a person who lies. I would too..so if he still doesnt listen..find an honest guy

Well me and my boyfriend have been going out for about two months now and the guy hasnt even tried to kiss me. Like im sorry if i sound bad for saying this but i have needs! So I was wondering what are some ways i can turn my boyfriend on so that he'll wanna make out with me, or at least kiss me?

hes probably thinking the same thing you are, but hes too shy! i think its sweet that he isnt all over you..so allow yourself to make the first move! When your hanging out..just kiss him! if your style is to flirt..maybe tickle him or stroke your hand on his stomach..then kiss him. or you can just grab him and kiss him..
I definately hear ya about the needs thing..so go for it :)

I want to dump my boyfriend...and yes I have my reasons. He asked me if I would go to the movies with him this Friday. And I said I would, but since then I have decided I want to dump him. I don't know what to do now though. Because I went with him to the movies last week and he thought I got mad at him there. But I didn't. His friend told me that my boyfriend was shy last week and he wanted to give me a kiss and everything but he was to shy. And he was going to this Friday. I need advice on what to do, because there is another guy that I want to go out with, when me and my boyfriend break up. I'm not sure if I want to dump my boyfriend before or after the movies. What do you think?

aw..i would break up with him asap. Dont let the guy spend money on you and stay up at night thinking of how hes going to kiss you,when, all that planning. He would be so hurt if you did it after the movies..especially if you dump him and go for the other guy.

so last month my bf fingered me and i gave him a handjob..he cummed and i wasnt sure if he had some on his fingers then fingered me...anyways i got my period the LAST day of february and i was totally relieved. well i havent got my period for this month...but i havent done ANYTHING what so ever this month...so yea i dont know whats up? could i be pregnant?

probably not..relax and give your body a chance. You arent that late, it can be due to stres..plus periods are irregular to begin with for a few years. Just relax and beleive you arent pregnent..because i dont think you are. when you feel morning sickness and your throwing up..then i would worry.

im really worried about my best friend she sleeps with anyone and anything that moves last week she slept with 5 different guys than last night at a party she slept with 3 guys gave head to 1 and let that guys brother go down on her and hooked up with my close mate now she saying she wont hang around me unless i change im out of ideas of things to do.

when it comes to that point..i would say move on from her. shes really spiraling in the wrong direction, and if shes gonna do that..its her life, but she shouldnt be dragging you down with her. a real friend wouldnt say that she wont hang around you until you change. shes the one who needs change. i would drop her and hang with appreciating friends. Its hard to drop a friend..but its the best for both of you..plus..she seems like she would drop you as a friend in an instant.

my girlfriend is hard to make convesation with and same here help please

(a)go to a movie then talk about it after
(b) talk about teachers/school/sports
(c) talk about family..what your mom and do do for a living..any funny family stories
(d) talk about something stupid/funny you and your friends did
(e) have a serious talk about what you are thinking of becoming when you get older,college,etc.
(f) talk about funny things from movies,jokes,inside stories,
(g) ask her about herself..fav color,food,place,hobby, etc

if it still really isnt working when you try..think about just being friends and haging out until you become more talkative

Hey! I'm a girl and 16, and I really like this guy, David. I used to be 95% possitive that he liked me too, but I think somethings changed. I'm thinking that he MIGHT like this other girl, but she has a boyfriend already. Lately, he's been acting like he doesnt care about me, at all! Like, he doesnt talk to me, unless I talk to him. I left him a voice mail message twice (two days in a row) saying what the plans were for the night, and he didnt even BOTHER to call back and say he couldnt come, or give me the time of day. It's really starting to aggrivate me. I want to ask him what is up, and why he's pretty much ignoring me, but its hard! The last time we were alone. things were really nice, and now hes just being a JERK! In school, I go out of my way, and go to his locker and walk with him in the hallways, but hes NEVER at my locker. EVER! He doesnt show any intrest, at all. And I want to know what is up! What should I do?

If you talk to him on Aim just be like "youve been different lately..." and he might say i know and he night tell you everything. if he asks "what do you mean?' i think its easier to spill it all out. If not..write him a letter instead. try it..because the best way to get feelings across is to say it exactly how you feel!

I find myself easily stressed out and being that I'm only 15 this must not be a good thing. I feel like I have no time to do all the things I need to do, with my life, with school work, a job, home with babysitting and I find myself unable to relax. I don't know what to do to relax. Any suggestions. Thank You.

I definately know where your coming from. To ease the stress, ask your parents if you can have maybe two friends over. This way, while you babysit you can hang out with your closest buds! If your working a busy scheduele, perhaps see if you can work one or two days a week less. This will give you more time to yourself for awhile. If you talk to your parents about how stressed you are, i bet they would do everything possible to ease that stress for you. (mine did) Is your job a job where inbetween crowds you can kinda do some homework? My mom worked in the library as a teenager so thats how she got her work done. If not, maybe get a studyhall or do your homework while the kids you babysit watch tv.Remember that although its good to work hard, you gota treat yourself to something also! Ask your mom a few days in advance if this weekend, you can just have a big sleepover or night on the town with your friends.

I use to love to read and get lost in it. now I jsut can't seem to becouse my mind keep wondering off, i can't seem stay fucus to read.. how i get my intress back?

I feel the same way. BAck in middle school i would always be reading. With all the work and pressure going on in 10th grade..i find it very hard to read also. I would suggest watching a movie based on a true story..then try and find the book. You'll be a lot more into the book..which will make it easier for you. Once you start to drift..put the book down for later. Even if you only read 5 pages..its ok. So try that and i think you'll be back to reading in no time. Happy reading to you!
-meliss

Last August I got cheated on my x boyfriend (he was my boyfriend at the time)it was a big thing fo rme b/c he was the first guy i ever loved and he had sex with a complete stranger.(and got drunk)And he's done all the apologizing and its truely sincere. we went out 4 times and all my friends told me not to do it the 4th time. 2 of my closest friends, Rachael* and Rob* told me not to becuase im "whipped". Well now me and my current boyfriend have a wonderful relashionship and its going great. my parents love him, he respects me, my friends like him and everything. But now my x says he wants me back. i talk to him a lot and he always says he loves me. How can i tell him that im happy now and i dont have to worry about getting hurt and that there will never be a chance of us going out again?

You did an excellent job right there..just the way you said it! Speak your mind to him..theres no way or technique you should use..the only technique you should use is speaking exactly how you feel. if you dont want to tell him in person , (i would tell him in person..but thats me) then try AIM, a letter, email,phone.
You'll be fine..just lay down the line just like you did in the question!
-meliss

Well If we need counseling how do I tell him that? Ive told him that I would be willing to do this but he thinks he does not need counceling that its all me?

Hm if he thinks its all you..thats a problem...the truth is..it isnt all you. Try getting him to go just by saying "i would really like to try this because i think it would really help our marriage. please just give it a try..thats all i ask" then take it from there..if he still says no..i believe you can go alone to marriage counseling..but its much more effective with both spouses there. Tell him its not conseling for him..its for the BOTH of you working together as a couple. If hes not willing..it makes it so tough to work on a marriage to improve it if hes not willing to try also. I really hope he listens to you though..
-melissa-

Hey. First of all my name is Jennifer and me and my husband have been married 2 years.Me and my husband constantly fight over the smallest little things and its making him tell me things like its over and he regrets being with me. For example today we got into a fight because I asked him what was wrong and he went off on me to leave him alone it turns out that he was tired but he couldnt just come out and tell me in a nice way he has to be mean about it. And I did not leave him alone I kept bugging him and I dont know what to do because he threw his ring at me and went to work. When he tells me to leave him alone I cannot do that. For some reason I have to be ok with him in order to get through the day. What can I do to show him more respect that I do really care whats going on with him without him putting up his defences? I dont know what to do I really am not ready to have my marriage be over but I dont know how to change but I know I have to?

Im very pleased that your willing to change things around to help your marriage, but it takes two people for it to be successful. Things you can do is to try your best not to needle him and try not to bug him so much. Little things like making his favorite dinner with candles to set the mood for the evening can really help get things back on track. He needs to put his share in as well for this to work. Hopefully when he sees your efforts, he'll start working on his part to improve the marriage. I think its all the stress of money and work thats putting a strain on you two. Behind all that, its the two of you, who are in love and joined together for life. Tell him that over a romantic dinenr with music. It can add spice and really lift your marriage up. Dont close your doors on options..maybe consider marriage conseling. Its not a bad thing if you go to it..it doesnt mean you two are crazy and you should go on the Jerry Springer show..all it means is two people want to work on some things to make their marriage work better. Dont be ashamed..because it can really help! I hope all goes well..and i truly beleive if you work on things to improve the marriage..AND your husband also works on some things..your marriage will be running smoothly in no time. Theres always going to be fights in a marriage..but by working on some things to help it run smoother..there will be a lot less. Hope i helped!
-melissa-

hey it's a kind of weird question..but i need to kno! lol well i'm trying to loose weight..BUT yah know how all the skinny girls have small boobs? lol well i think mine r between big n small n i was just wondering if i would run or do sit ups i kno it will make my stomic smaller but will it make my boobs smaller to??

thanx soo much!!

If you excersise, your chest should not get smaller. Example : If you do running or biking, you would tone up your legs. So whatever your targetting while excersising, is where you will lose the fat. If you do the wrong thing and starve yourself, your chest will get smaller.However if someone decides to starve themselves they have much bigger problems than worrying about their chest. I hope that answered it

-melissa

im not really sure what is happening.. but lately like the last 3 or 4 times my boyfriend has fingered me it has stung so bad! im not sure why it is or anything.. i mean like when he does it just hurts so bad i want him to stop.. but then like if he does it again the same night it doesnt hurt like really really bad.. i think its the way im sitting or something im not sure.. its not easy talkin to him about things like this.. bc he wouldnt know what to say i know.. i mean we have been together for a long time but it jus wouldnt be easy.. but when i come home or w.e i check and see if anything looks any different and it doesnt it jus stings and it even does like two days afterward im not sure what to do can someone quickly give me some advice!

Your boyfriend fingers you to pleasure you. You guys have been together for awhile, so just talk to him about it. Tell him your feeling sore and maybe next time to go easier, or maybe just rub your clitoris instead of fingering you all the way up there. He'll probably feel good that you feel close enough to talk to him about it. Your bf wants you to tell him if your hurting..trust me he wants to pleasure you, not hurt you.
A good thing to do is maybe have him perform oral sex on you beforehand, this way you will be more lubricated down there. Try that out..i hope it works.
-melissa-

I am not sure what i have but some times when im scared, doing nothing, or exercising my heart beats fast and i can feel the pressure of it and i when that happens i look down at my shirt and you can see my chest vibrating from my heart. Im afraid that this could be serious, either if it is or not i would like to know what it could be and how i can treat it or do things to help it.
thnx to whoever responds.

It could be a series of things. It may be an anxiety disorder ..heart problem, hard for any of us to tell you because we arent doctors. The safest bet, like everyone else said, is to tell your mom so you can go to the doctor.

My best friend is 16 now but she has been getting abused by her dad since she was old enough to walk. I saw him punch her in the face one time and bang her head against a wall. I am really scared for and her sister because I have seen him hit her too. She's asked me not to tell but Im scared that if I keep quiet that one day he might really hurt her. We tryed calling the police on him one time but they wanted to press charges against us and not him. I dont know what I should do and I dont know how I can help her.

I would talk to a teacher you feel close to, maybe your parents, a guidance counselor in school, anybody! But you cant do nothing about this..things will only get worse. Tell somebody so your friend can be in a safe environment! No child should have to be in an environment like that. It might be hard now, but later you will be so happy that you told someone. Your friend and her sister will be in a place where they are safe!

is there a such thing as two kinds of penises... my friend robert told me that evan has a something penis and i forgot what its called? does anyone know anything? like abnornmal or something?

OK i think i know what your friend means. A penis can either be circumsized at birth, or not. Usually, circumsision is done in the Jewish religion at birth. What happens is the male baby gets his foreskin removed, and it leaves the tip of the penis exposed. Its optional, and although its maninly done to Jewish people, you could opt for it, although there is no reason to. Im jewish so i should know this..but im not sure why exactly its done. You could look circumsizing up on google if your curious enough. No its not abnormal, its just something done thats optional at birth to a boy..mostly for religious reasons.

I hae to close friends that are pregnant. Unfortunantly one was raped and the other one was by her boyfriend. They are both considering abortion. Why is it that people think it is all right for my friend who was raped to get an abotion and the other one isn't. Both are still killing and innocent child...Please help me understand the difference!!

You make an excellent point. Many people think that being that the girl was the victim and this wasnt her choice, that she has the right to an abortion. Being that your other friend voluntarily had sex with her bf, many people are against that because she made the choice and should take the consequences. Abortion is a very highly debated topic, such a hot topic that im not even sure of my opinion on it. Thats the resoning many people use on the abortion topic.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>