I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I've been in ESL class since 6th grade. Now i am a freshman in high school.My teacher told me that it's not good for when colleges look at your information if the record shows you had been in ESL for over 3 years. Is it true? Do colleges really care about it? Also, if it's true, I already had 4 years of ESL class,but 3 years was in middle school, i heard that colleges don't look back your middle school record. Does it means my 3 years of ESL won't count in my high school record? (link)
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To be honest they don't care much about your high school record with a few exceptions either. Let me give you an example.
If you wanted to take journalism they won't care if you failed courses or got low grades in subjects that have no relation to the program you are applying for unless you're always scoring real low. Elementary and Middle school isn't even considered at all.
I think your teacher is concerned about you but it's really an opinion of what he/she feels ESL students have to deal with based on a few bad experiences with students.
What the college is looking for if you have ESL in your background is that you can print, write, understand English at a Grade 12 level and know verbs, adjectives, adverbs, nouns, pronouns and proper grammar. They'll give you an entry exam and if you pass it the fact you were in ESL won't be of their concern.
They will only know of your high school background and that's in. You'll get into the program if you are suited for it and based on passing the entry test for English proficiency and nothing else. You may want a tutor but that's about all. As long as you pass that test, the interview process and are selected you're a normal student to them and they can't discriminate against you if you know 12th Grade English.
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I have a 10 week old black lab/german sheperd mix puppy, she is very aggresive, everytime I try to play with her she bites me and even if I say ouch!! she doesnt stops! She just doesnt again, when I get up and ignore her, she jumps on me! I know she wants to play but she is just too agressive, She just doesnt know how to play, I have tried so many times to diciple her in a calm and asservite way and it just doesnt help!! What do I do??? Thanks a lot (link)
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You need to take her to puppy school or this won't be resolved. They'll straighten your dog out and show you how to establish that you're in control and that she isn't. Right now, she's running the show and much like a little kid is testing you and boundaries big time.
Unfortunately, you don't know how to deal with this yet and that's okay. Thank goodness there are trainers who specialize in this and will bounce that behavior out of her. If all he tips and books and vet's ideas don't work you have to call in a no-nonsense trainer who has worked with both breeds she's crossed with.
If you got her from a breeder than you can call them and ask what they do to curb the behavior in the dogs and see if that can negate calling in someone who is expensive as I'm sure they'll show you some techniques as most competent ones would.
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So when I was little my family bread rabbits and sold them, a neighbors dog got into our rabbit yard where we kept their hutches and low and behold all our rabbits were killed. That was about ten years ago, do to that my parents insisted I did not have a pet rabbit to avoid this fiasco, and I love rabbits so much! My dad surprised me on Christmas Eve with a pet rabbit, I called him Frank and I love him so much. I'm moving out soon and I'm not sure it's a good idea to take the rabbit with me. I love him but every time I stick my hand in to put food in his bowl he snorts at me and jumps at me. I will leave his cage open and let him run around in my room for about two hours a day, and when I pick him up and put him back in his cage he gets mad and grunts at me, it sounds like a pig snorting, I know he isn't afraid of me, but he bit me the other day when I tried to give him food. Is there a way I can train my rabbit to be more loving or just accepting? Also I have an allergy to animals and I also already have a hamster. Whenever I hold them I break out in hives and my eyes swell up. I take allergy medicine but it tires me out so much. Is there a way to avoid this while still keeping my rabbit with me when I leave home? I love him and I want to show my parents that having this pet won't lead to heart break. Help please? :( (link)
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A vet would probably have tips on dealing with biting and aggression. If you love the animal and your parents have seen that they will know that your aren't shirking responsibility.
By asking them or your vet to help find a loving home for him or care for him if they can it's the right thing to do. If something is making you so sick physically it isn't your fault and is wrong to continue exposure to the source of it.
Being miserable and on pills that are causing bad effects for the rest of the animal's life and years of yours is not a good choice. Although, heartbroken your well-being has to come first and your family will see you tried hard and were responsible in finding it a home.
Next visit an allergy specialist and tell them that you can't keep any animals because you become sick. They will know of dogs at least which you won't be allergic to as Barack Obama had that problem and BO seems to be fine with them. You'll find the perfect pet that way.
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I use to get bullied and now im scared to talk to people. I really want to make friends but people think because i dont talk that i dont like them or something. I started doing online school this year but i thought it would be better if i went back so i could at least try to make friends. Does any one have any tips on how to be less shy or how i could make new friends. (link)
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The problem is that you aren't confident and strong enough in who you are. You haven't accepted yourself, the qualities you possess, gifts etc. and people are seeing that fear and backing off.
Once you just let yourself go and stopping sweating the small stuff and what anyone thinks people will flock to you. Don't think, over analyze just let everything you do unfold. Be who you are and people will respond positively.
I know that it would be in your best interest to be in a regular school. What you need to do differently this time is set up a support network of teachers, counselors, principals who know of the bullying issue and will watch over you to give you a sense of security.
Next join student council with their assistance. This forces you to work with people of different backgrounds, share your ideas and work towards goals. You'll find friendships just happen that way and they last.
Next, I don't know where you reside but there has to be a theater group or kick ass drama class or studio someplace (even if you have to go to a city do it). Take improvisation--you need it. It teaches you trust, that it's okay to make an idiot of yourself, and several games and coping strategies. You have to work together on sketches and problem solving. You'll never notice you're doing it.
It also helps with conversations with other people as you're always complimenting the other actor with the next logical idea in a conversation. This for you will change your world. Hang in there. It may take time but it will change. It also is vital too for knocking down the wall of defense you put up around you.
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So I rarely masterbate but I have never orgasmed because whenever I get close I starts to feel weird. I get past the peeing feeling but it almost hurts in a way. It's uncomfortable and not very good feeling. This is why i dont masterbate a lot too. Why is this? Thanks! :) (link)
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I wouldn't worry. What you are experiencing would appear to be a sensation like you need to push hard, downward and out. This feeling though uncomfortable is usually experienced in tandem with the feeling like you need to urinate immediately. This is usually what occurs before G-spot orgasm. You shouldn't have REAL pain or anything sharp. If you do bring it to the attention of an ob/gyn pronto. Otherwise, don't be concerned as it's normal.
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so me and my fiance of 2 years have had a rocky relationship but its good most days and sometimes bad like any relationship, lately it has been getting worse i have schizophrenia and he knows that and tries to understand what i'm going through and tries to understand what it means to have schizophrenia. lately our arguments have been getting worse he recently physically hurt me and we talked it out and said never again but each time we fight now it gets to the point that he physically hurts me or himself and i'm sure what to do at this point. i love him and i want things to work out but is it the right thing to go through all of that? (link)
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Mental illness or no mental illness he had no right to physically harm you under any circumstances. From the sounds of it he's done it more than once. It's one thing for him to say "Never Again." and another not to. Talk is cheap. If he's done it once he will do it again.
I advise you to get out, get out now as it will likely get worse. You may love him and that's hard but if anyone physically hurt me I would want to be far away from them after.
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I'm 20 yrs old and it kills me dat ave neva had a serious relationship. I long for someone to just hold me and love. Guys neva ask me out and i know am not ugly so maybe its cos am shy. I feel so lonely sometimes, i cant even bear to watch romantic movies anymore. (link)
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One day your prince will find you and will feel blessed to have had. In the meantime you need to help yourself be ready. Right now you need help with overcoming shyness and with social skills that will help you get on better when socializing.
One thing that may help you are programs where you have to learn how to speak to all sorts of people. Student council is a good idea, definitely take drama courses inside or outside of school and get involved with a theater group even if it's only backstage as you'll get tons of practice talking to different people.
There's NOTHING wrong either with seeing a therapist and working on your shyness as well as telling a doctor about it as they'll have coping skills for you and challenges.
If you like someone start talking to them, ask about sports, interest, etc. etc. and start a friendship. Hell, even saying "I would like to be your friend." will do it for you. Build from that and who knows.
If you can't even watch movies and enjoy them because of this we have an issue that needs professionals to help you as obviously there's a ton of pain to work through and I think until you do you'll continue feeling miserable when in fact you could be soaring (in a god way). Become comfortable with yourself or guys or whomever won't be with you. Your body language and self-esteem is what they can see and right now they sense you have a problem and are backing off.
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Ok so the one way my mom knows that I have a fever besides taking my temp. is that I talk non stop when I have a fever. I talk non stop anyway but it's worse. It's kinda funny but my mom hates me when I have fevers, lol. Unless I have a sore throat because then I don't talk much. But anyway, do you know why this is? Thanks! :) (link)
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I suppose when you are sick and "out of it" one can say anything. However, from what you are describing it sounds as though your thoughts race and your speech is rapid.
Does that happen at any other time?
I'm asking as rapid speech and thoughts can but don't necessarily have relation to hypomania or could be signs of certain disorders ie: bipolar.
I doubt that's what you are dealing with but if speech and thoughts are always coming fast outside of the fevers than look into it. I think you're okay though as it seems isolated. If concerned mention it to your doctor for peace of mind.
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I have had the flu for two days now and today my chest started hurting. It is about 4 inches directly under my armpit. It isnt where my heart is or anything and doesnt feel like anything too bad. But I was just wondering if this had anything to do with flu. Thanks! :) (link)
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I'm not a doctor nor can I or anyone else give you anything resembling medical advice. Having said that it sounds as though the pain and tightness or soreness is from all the hacking you've done with the flu. If rest doesn't cure this in a day or so see a doctor but perhaps this is all you need to worry with.
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Hello.
My cousin is going through a hard time at the moment, with his parents recently separating. He goes to school, comes home, and works in the same room until he decides to eat/sleep. He rarely goes out, which is odd because he seems to be the type that would be quite popular: good looking, good at sport, intelligent etc.
Long story short, his father made an insensitive comment the other day. My grandmother, my uncle, and my mother have asked for me to do something with him to cheer him up. This is fine, but I don't know how to ask without it sounding like a pity invite? I was thinking of just heading into the city, do abit of window shopping, grab a bite to eat, and maybe catch a movie.
The wierd thing is, never have I done anything with him apart from family meetings etc. I feel odd just randomly texting him asking if he wants to do something, because it will seem so obvious.
Can anyone shed some light on how I can ask, without it seeming like a pity invite? It is of course a pity invite (so to speak), but I don't want him to feel that it is?
Thanks a bunch folks. (link)
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Is it really a pity invite? Think about it. What you are doing is actually out of genuine concern for him and wanting him to enjoy himself.
Invite him and leave it at that. How he treats the invitation or views this is up to him and you can't control his perception. He may be happy to go out and be included given his circumstances.
This is a chance to get to know him. If he's a good guy and should be popular but isn't for some reason try and find out. If he never leaves home to do anything it may be a signal he's depressed. If someone sees that, says something, does something it may be the ultimate favor.
You never mentioned what cruel remark was made to him either so I can't offer much on how to deal with that. Maybe reassuring him would be helpful. There's a lot to do with this invite that can be rewarding for you both.
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Is this teacher flirting with me or am I overreacting?
My teacher is 27 and Im 18 and he always asks me do I like him if I'm alone with him. I do have a crush on him, but I never tried to do anything with him and I never will. Sometimes I blush when hes around but that's it.If I go to the restroom and Im tardy to class, he will take me to class and he acts weird, he asks weird questions, like he asked me did I love him in front of our class. He will get really close to me and ask me do I love him and if I say no he just says that he loves me. I cant tell if hes serious sometimes or if hes just playing. Sometimes he makes me go in the hall so he can talk to me about nothing that's important. He calls me his girlfriend in front of teachers and students and they just laugh at him because they think hes joking. I don't know if hes playing or what. He'll be in class teaching and put his arm around me. I don't think he'll try to do anything but sometimes he gets close to me and its really uncomfortable, even when I back away. He just stares and smiles at me a lot. Or he'll walk over to my desk and stand there for a while. I'm a pretty strait forward person, so after a while I turn around and ask him what he wants. He'll ask if I need help or something. One time he looked up my schedule and took me out of PE class because I was mad at him and someone told him that I didnt like him, he took me out of class just to ask me if I didnt like him and he looked seriously hurt.
Maybe I'm just overreacting but I just wanted to know what somebody else's opinion was about the situation. Sometimes I just can't tell if hes joking because he knows I have a crush on him or if hes being serious. He has been doing this before I turned 18. Please answer, thanks (link)
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In this day and age teachers should and most do know not to act in this manner with students be it a joke or not. Obviously you aren't laughing and are finding it creepy and uncomfortable which you should be feeling about it.
I would tell your parents what he has been doing and saying especially when alone and that you feel it's creepy. Ask them what to do about it and have them handle it with the school. Something is not right with this guy and if you are feeling that it's all wrong than it is! Your gut never steers you wrong.
If he tries any of this behavior before your parents can talk to the school tell him "You might think you're playing but this behavior is unwanted, inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable. My parents have contacted the principal." and walk away.
You've done ZERO wrong here but he has. It will not affect you academically or otherwise as he'll know he's crossed a line and can't mess with you. In fact they may transfer you out of class. Don't worry about how they handle him. He needs to learn this isn't right as do some of his colleagues from the sounds of it.
Make sure they know that he's been doing this with you before you turned legal age of majority in your area and if he does it with other girls. If you can find other people he does it too that are equally worried about it than that helps your case.
Basically, tell your parents and let them deal with the proper people for you. As far as a crush goes it's normal and at the time seemed so but you abandoned that once you saw how creepy his behavior was. In fact, nobody ever need know that detail and it's got nothing to do with what he has been doing. Definitely speak up about this to adults you trust.
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Been thinking about getting a tattoo for ages because I really want to have something thats a part of me and will be with me forever... When thinking about it I now know that I want to be able to cover it, I don't want it on my arms or hands, I want to be able to see it and I don't want it on my neck or face. I'm not sure where to have it (as you can tell) and I don't know what tattoo to have... I was thinking sillouttes of birds on my foot? Suggestions please! :D (link)
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Nobody will tattoo the neck or face of anyone who doesn't have a ton of body art or modifications already. That's pretty much a universal rule at shops I've entered.
One thing you have to be aware of is your own pain tolerance and lack thereof. If you are jumpy to begin with and can't take much if it hurts than it's wrong for you. Some areas of the body hurt more for some people than for others.
Typically most artists have told me barbed wire tattoos hurt and that the easiest place to tolerate having it done is anything from your shoulder to your elbow on your arm. Keep the design small for a first tattoo.
Tell the artist at the tattoo place that you want birds and a silhouette but wanted something unique to go with it. Pound out some ideas and have them draw you something based on that to see if you like it. I don't know if a foot or ankle tattoo hurts or not but someone here is bound to tell you.
Take your time though in doing this as you want the right shop, artist, comfort level and a firmer idea of what you want as yes it will be with you forever.
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I'm 14/female
Every time I take a shower or just clean "down there" at night, I feel like masturbating. But the problem is I can't in my bed because I sleep with my mom. I don't want to even risk her feeling me move on the bed because then she'll want me to explain (she's very old fashioned and she thinks it isn't right or normal to masturbate) but to avoid all of that, I usually just think about something else when I try to fall asleep or quietly touch but other than that, I wait until the morning when shes at work (^_^) well anyways... I don't want to tell my mom because it's not like I'm doing something wrong, it's just that I really don't want my mom to know about it because then she'll bring it up A LOT in our conversations and I get very uncomfortable, so that is NOT an option. I don't know why this happens.
So my question is; What do you think I should do? and also, Does this happen to anyone else?
Thank you for taking the time to read this! (link)
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It doesn't matter what the space limitation or even culture may be sleeping with parent(s) at 14-years-old isn't right. You need your own room, bed, or place to sleep even if it's on the floor.
It's not right for a person psychologically and on many other levels at that age not to sleep alone. Deal with that situation and having privacy and your own place to sleep as this isn't normal for people your age. No matter how it's been justified.
As far as the other issue goes you're normal and it's your hormones that are raging that causes the constant desire. As long as you know it's okay and you're being private about it you're fine. Unfortunately, for you privacy is a precious commodity. Doing this when alone like you have been doing seems best.
Your mother must have been taught incorrectly that it's wrong if you think she'll have an old-fashioned view. That's unfortunate. The fact stats say 90% of males and 70% of females do it may change her view as is the fact doctors say there's no harm at all in it.
You should try to talk to her frankly about it and point out that health class, doctors, etc etc. explain it's a normal part of development and pretty much universal with your age group. Tell her you're being honest, need privacy, and hope she respects that.
I'm sure she will as most parents suspect or know that their teens are doing this as it's quite prevalent with your age group and almost all males and females do it at some point. Tell her you want to talk about it but after that talk that you don't want to again. Believe me she's just as embarrassed as you are. If she brings it up again just tell her "I have the info I need thanks" and that should tell her you don't need to again.
Also, if you're sleeping next to anyone and especially so a parent I wouldn't try to engage in this as that's wrong too and you wouldn't want to deal with that situation. You need to do this in private be it when alone, in the bathroom, bathing etc as it's a private thing people do.
Definitely, get somewhere else be it a couch or something to sleep on as I'm more concerned about you sleeping with a parent at your age than I am an overall lack of privacy because that's a huge problem.
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I was in a partner work project where my partner didn't memorize her part so we couldn't pull off the play. When I would say my lines the other girl would be silent and would not say any of her lines. The teacher knew I had my part done, but she said she has to fail us for it. I spoke to her during our fifteen minute break and wrote an email to her. She was offended by it and responded to it a little too strongly, in my opinion. Was I too rude or was she just having a bad day?
My email: Hi, I'm in your Drama class. May I ask about my grade for the project? (blank) and I both worked hard on the play together and we practiced our parts, but we were somewhat less prepared for it than she originally thought. However, I had practiced and had the script memorized. I think it's a little unfair that you should count me as failing as well and I thought I tried the best I could with the given situation. I just wanted to know how you're going to mark our combined project. Thank you for reading.
Her response: Hi,
I understand you are concerning about your project grade. However, I hoped you could be more patient to wait for your grade and feedback. We just had a performance (assessment) in the morning and I have told you that I was going to grade according to the grading policy which has been published in advance.
There is no reason to hear that my grading is unfair as I haven't told any specific comments, result about your performance.
Actually, I didn't have any obligation to give you a second chance as no any other pair was granted. I gave you a second chance because the performance was way below expectation. (blank) has to look at her script every line and I believed you two have worked hard on it.
I think it is rude and unfair to use the word "unfair" to the teacher without any result on you yet. You also should not to tell me that how I should grade or what I should count.
Besides, you sent this email during my class, when you were supposed to focus on the class.
I again understand your concern about your grade. I would not count her errors on you as oral part is 85% individual grade (team work for 15% -seeing if you helped and collaborated well on script) which I have already explained and posted on the website. However, it is hard to accept the negative attitude and participation you displayed in the class after the performance today.
I want to ask your patience for the detailed feedback and grade. I would be pleased to answer or explain further questions if you have then.
Stay warm.
My response: I did not mean to sound rude or as if I was telling you how to grade. I wasn't saying your grading was unfair as you actually haven't graded it yet. I was merely asking if you would tie my performance completely to the presentation and I apologize if you thought I was complaining about you as a teacher. I typed this email to you during break time and not during class, a time period directly after our performance. We are grateful for the second chance and once again, I understand that grading is your decision and I wasn't saying anything otherwise. My email wasn't one demanding you give me my grade, it was an email trying to express concern about how the problems in class are going to affect my overall grade. I was actually attempting to talk to you about it, and I apologize if it came off as rude, but my intentions weren't to criticize you. I'm happy to hear that my mistakes won't be counted against (blank) and that her mistakes won't be counted against me. I'm still not exactly sure why you wrote this, however:" However, it is hard to accept the negative attitude and participation you displayed in the class after the performance today." I would like to repeat that I sent my email after the performance because I wanted to talk to you privately about the grade and you specifically mentioned during our skit that you'd like to see us personally. I didn't write the email because I wanted to personally attack you, and I'm sorry if you perceived it as such. Thank you and I hope you stay warm too.
What exactly went wrong here? You guys don't have to read everything, by the way. (link)
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You jumped to conclusions about how you were graded and demanded to know what you scored. You accused the teacher of being unfair and counting you as failing when in face he/she never had the time to respond properly first.
That's rude and pissed him/her off. Therefore, yes you were wrong. Make your reply to this teacher the last you have to say as you apologized but understand that they couldn't even assess your work right after it was done properly. I would recommend you stay off e-mail with him/her and teachers in general to ward off trouble.
The other thing he/she probably sensed correctly was that you were pissed off and could see it after the performance and in your note hence the mention of your attitude and how you participated.
The teacher may also be hinting at a willingness to throw your partner under the bus for causing mistakes that affected your grade and for wanting to be seen separate from them. And yes, through that you hinted at how you should be graded rather than wait and see.
You definitely were wrong and should never do this with a teacher again as it will hurt you later and even affect your grade more negatively.
You may not like to hear that but I'm being blunt with how they think and what you did incorrectly as that's what you wanted.
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I used to be a stright A student but now I have c's and d's!!! My parents are thinking of putting me in a different school system and I met my BFF last year at this school, and so many other good friends and a boyfriend!!! I feel hopeless though. I studied for 3 hours on an english test last week and failed it!!! What the heck has happened to me?!? Has anyone out there gone through this? How can I do better? I want to do better and I will do anything to not leave my current school! Thanks...Btw Im a seventh grader (link)
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Something clearly isn't adding up here. I don't think the grades are your fault. If you are studying the same length of time and applying yourself as you mentioned you were why aren't you passing?
It's true that the material is at a new level than before but if you were doing A's up until now the grades you are getting now don't make sense.
The problem has to do with you not grasping what is being taught. It could be a learning problem that hasn't reared its ugly head until now. Ask your teachers and your parents to be tested. You would get extra help that way for the future.
A change of school and being cut off from a boyfriend won't do anything. If you are failing now at the same material taught at another school you will fail there too regardless of the environment.
The problem is you can't understand the material you are being taught and need to figure out why. I would talk to your guidance counselor in the morning and tell them what parents threaten and that you just can't understand or do well in your courses. Ask for support, testing for learning problems etc. and for them to intervene and help you as well as deal with your parent's anger and threats.
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Please help I'm only 11 (almost 12) and I DO NOT have my period yet but I noticed a breast lump and since I am young my breasts r still small but any ways I found a golf ball cut in half sized lump in BOTH my breasts (1 in each breast) in the direct middle of my breasts I'm soooo scared cause I think I may have breast cancer or some breast illness I told my mom too and I read a book about having lumps in breasts and saying that It was normal for young girls PLEASE HEELP!!! (link)
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In all likelihood you are fine. If you are really scared about it you should see your doctor to set mind at ease. Unfortunately, we aren't doctors and cannot make any kind of medical judgment.
Even if we were advice would be of no use to you. A doctor has to physically see and examine this to tell you whether it's of concern or something they need to address.
One other thing don't read medical books or the Internet as you'll scare yourself silly if you read about stuff like this online or in a book and try to self-diagnose. Tell your mom you really want a doctor to tell you it's okay as you're freaked out.
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I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and i would say we are perfect and plan on marriage after we are done with college. I love him to death but he is breaking me and it isnt his fault at all. He has terminal brain cancer and won't be cured. Only his parents and I know, not even his brothers because he just doesnt want anyone to treat him any different. I cant talk to anyone and wont, but its like im cutting myself off from reality because i can't handle the fact. Yesterday i guess you could say he died, but was brought right back. He fell unconcious with no pulse/heartbeat. What can I do about any of this, its like iv gone mute i dont even really talk around people anymore. What do i do about him too, my life is done if he dies. Any help on anything is highly appreciated, but no i will not go to a therapist. 18/f (link)
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What's wrong with visiting a therapist? If it helps do it. I encourage it as all the fear, pain, cutting yourself off from reality, isn't healthy. Someone has to show you how to deal with it and vent it.
There is no shame in seeing one at all and talking. You need that outlet. It's hard to think about death and grief but you will find in time that your life isn't done and that you'll go on with him in your heart. Would he want any different?
The problem here is that he wants things to be as normal as possible and for you not to grapple with these issues (yet) or all encompassing. He'd rather you dwell on positive stuff.
One positive idea I see that may make situations better and prolong life is to accelerate some of your plans and start doing some of the things you always dreamed of with him while you can and only dwell on that and take whatever life deals when it does and not before.
If you wanted to marry him than I say go about finding a minister at city hall and do a small ceremony a.s.a.p. and a celebration later, try for a child if that was a goal or do whatever you planned as much as possible each day you have. Above all do that and try to put the disease aside where it doesn't control everything you do or don't with him. Take the counselling as keeping this inside is not good for you now or in future.
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I have a friend who goes through depression..frequently. Her boyfriend is an ass, and that's basically the root of it. Anyway, when she gets depressed, she completely ignores me. She isn't mad at me or anything, this just how she reacts. This will sometimes last for a month or two. I really miss her, & I want to help her, but I have no idea how. I've never really suffered through any kinds of continuous depression/sadness so I don't know what to do.
I know the 'obvious' answer is to just be there for her. But, besides that.. I know she has her phone, because she plays games & I can see like that she goes on it sort of thing. & that she just isn't taking my texts. What do I say to her?
I can't go over to her house either, she recently moved, & it's too far to make a casual trip. Plus, I'm a college student & dirt poor.
She's a senior in high school by the way. (link)
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The best thing you can do is listen a lot more than other people do and say nothing. Don't offer advice unless you see her ask for it or know that you must say something.
The truth is you don't know what's going on in her head or how awful she does or doesn't feel and you haven't experienced this as an all encompassing 24/7 365 thing bombarding her and affecting how she functions. You mean well but there are levels to this you don't see that are internal with her.
Her problem isn't just a boy but it didn't help matters. It's a medical issue and has to be treated by a psychiatrist in order to break the vicious cycle she's in with it. Nothing can make her see one but herself unless she's in crisis and trying to harm herself. It hasn't gotten to that level but left untreated it can.
She's likely embarassed about the boy and these other issues and or is too upset to want to be around friends right now. It's normal and nothing to do with you. Best thing to do is back off and wait for her. If she knows you are a good friend she'll reach out when she's ready.
The only thing you should do is text her. "Missing you. Let's reconnect sometime. Hope you are doing well." and leave it to her to respond. If she ever mentions depression or hints at it tell her "You should tell someone you'll feel better longterm" and leave it at that. You did all you could. Ball is in her court.
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Lately my grades have been dropping and I am not sure why. But I used to be a straight A student and my parents were really proud of me. I am now in 7th grade and need some help. I have told my mom that I really try to do better and I asked if she is proud of me for anything. She said I play violin and sometimes make good choices. That was it. I try to get through to her but all she does is get my dad and they team up and bash me. They talk about how awesome I USED to be and how horrible I am now. They compare me to other students that they don't even know. No matter how much I try they just continue this.
So any tips on getting better grades? And also I have cried like three times today because I feel hopeless and feel like nobody understands. So please don't say anything mean. I have already thought of suicide but I really don't want to kill myself, I just want some help. Thanks. (link)
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If you have thought about suicide over this than the problem isn't with your parents. It's likely you are depressed and that this doesn't help on top. Try to think back to when this feeling started and if it existed only recently.
You can bet feelings of thinking you are horrible, being bashed etc aren't normal feelings. Your parents are praising you for what you do well still and not bashing you but rather telling you perhaps with a lot of emotion what they have seen you do and expect you can get back at it.
For some reason you have this destroying you emotionally when it shouldn't. I think your parents would be shocked to know it has and that you thought of killing yourself over grades.
What you need to do is be really honest with yourself. Recognize these feelings and behavior are not you and not at all normal and see a psychiatrist or get referred to one to discuss your feelings, suicidal thoughts etc. or go to an emergency room as based on what you have said you need help even if you don't think so.
I'm not being mean here but speaking from experience and what I see in you that I saw in myself and others I've met through experiences. Grades are the easy part of the problem. Talk to your teachers, get a tutor and boost them back up gradually and understand your parents love you and that's where all comments are truly coming from.
If you have thought of suicide over an issue like this even if you have no intention of acting on it this is still a HUGE concern and indicator of a mental health disturbance that needs looked at.
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So i have been dating this guy for about seven months (im 16 he's 17). I have decided that this is the guy I want to lose my virginity too. But im waiting till its been at least a year before i do. He's amazingly sweet and tells me he loves me for me and not how i look. But he's never seen me without closes on and my clothes usually cover up my "chub". Im not hugely big...but i would say that i am over weight. And last week we got into a heavy make out session and things got pretty heated. Now im just affraid when we finally do "do it" im gonna look stupid. I dont know how to handle this, help anyone?
PS: I dont need any talks about how i should be waiting anyways, so thanks but ill decided when im ready (link)
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You could make a million dollar bet on this that he's feeling 100% the same way you are about his own body, genitals, and sex. He's just not said anything about his own fears and expectations.
If he was concerned about your physical stature he wouldn't be here. You know that his love is genuine and that you couldn't disappoint him in any fashion.
The real reason there's an issue is with you and your belief (which he doesn't share) that there's something wrong with you or your body unclothed when there isn't.
You owe it to yourself to tell him that you want to have sex, have chosen him, but aren't quite ready yet and have body image issues. This will help him to help you become comfortable and ready.
Also, him seeing your body doesn't have to be related to sex either. Perhaps if he saw than all this fear about him disliking you or being turned off later will fade.
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