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My teacher and I fought in our emails (kinda)
I was in a partner work project where my partner didn't memorize her part so we couldn't pull off the play. When I would say my lines the other girl would be silent and would not say any of her lines. The teacher knew I had my part done, but she said she has to fail us for it. I spoke to her during our fifteen minute break and wrote an email to her. She was offended by it and responded to it a little too strongly, in my opinion. Was I too rude or was she just having a bad day?
My email: Hi, I'm in your Drama class. May I ask about my grade for the project? (blank) and I both worked hard on the play together and we practiced our parts, but we were somewhat less prepared for it than she originally thought. However, I had practiced and had the script memorized. I think it's a little unfair that you should count me as failing as well and I thought I tried the best I could with the given situation. I just wanted to know how you're going to mark our combined project. Thank you for reading.
Her response: Hi,
I understand you are concerning about your project grade. However, I hoped you could be more patient to wait for your grade and feedback. We just had a performance (assessment) in the morning and I have told you that I was going to grade according to the grading policy which has been published in advance.
There is no reason to hear that my grading is unfair as I haven't told any specific comments, result about your performance.
Actually, I didn't have any obligation to give you a second chance as no any other pair was granted. I gave you a second chance because the performance was way below expectation. (blank) has to look at her script every line and I believed you two have worked hard on it.
I think it is rude and unfair to use the word "unfair" to the teacher without any result on you yet. You also should not to tell me that how I should grade or what I should count.
Besides, you sent this email during my class, when you were supposed to focus on the class.
I again understand your concern about your grade. I would not count her errors on you as oral part is 85% individual grade (team work for 15% -seeing if you helped and collaborated well on script) which I have already explained and posted on the website. However, it is hard to accept the negative attitude and participation you displayed in the class after the performance today.
I want to ask your patience for the detailed feedback and grade. I would be pleased to answer or explain further questions if you have then.
Stay warm.
My response: I did not mean to sound rude or as if I was telling you how to grade. I wasn't saying your grading was unfair as you actually haven't graded it yet. I was merely asking if you would tie my performance completely to the presentation and I apologize if you thought I was complaining about you as a teacher. I typed this email to you during break time and not during class, a time period directly after our performance. We are grateful for the second chance and once again, I understand that grading is your decision and I wasn't saying anything otherwise. My email wasn't one demanding you give me my grade, it was an email trying to express concern about how the problems in class are going to affect my overall grade. I was actually attempting to talk to you about it, and I apologize if it came off as rude, but my intentions weren't to criticize you. I'm happy to hear that my mistakes won't be counted against (blank) and that her mistakes won't be counted against me. I'm still not exactly sure why you wrote this, however:" However, it is hard to accept the negative attitude and participation you displayed in the class after the performance today." I would like to repeat that I sent my email after the performance because I wanted to talk to you privately about the grade and you specifically mentioned during our skit that you'd like to see us personally. I didn't write the email because I wanted to personally attack you, and I'm sorry if you perceived it as such. Thank you and I hope you stay warm too.
What exactly went wrong here? You guys don't have to read everything, by the way.
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You misunderstood, and reacted too quickly, with some poor word choice. Unfair was a very bad choice of words.
Your teacher obviously felt that although she had spoken to you and given you some feedback, she hadn't made her final decisions yet, and that you should have waited to hear back on your official grade before jumping to the assumption she was being a 'little unfair'.
It also sounds like you weren't entirely clear on her marking criteria, and it was fair of her to expect you to be.
Perhaps some people will think the teacher reacted a bit too strongly - I don't really see that. However, you certainly reacted too strongly by not participating in the rest of the class, and by writing her an e-mail that came off as though you were assuming you knew how she was going to grade you, and that the grade was going to be unfair, without referencing the marking criteria that was posted.
The better way for you to have handled this would have been to take another look at the marking criteria for the project, and consider your options/arguments based on that criteria if you were failed.
After doing that, you could have asked her for clarification if you didn't understand what the marking criteria meant (as an example, an email like "Thanks for your patience today and the second chance. Just so I'm not surprised when I get my grade, could you clarify the marking for me? Is 85% of the grade individual and not as a pair?" would probably have been better received.)
Or, you could have waited to receive your grade, trusting your teacher to use their best judgement and be fair, and then only addressing it if you felt there was a problem.
The teacher probably felt - and I think that they are right - that after giving you two a second chance, and speaking to you in class, she deserved the benefit of the doubt and that you should have waited until you received your grade, before deciding if it was fair or not.
Writing the email during class was rude.
Suggesting her marking was going to be 'a little unfair' without even knowing what that marking was was rude. You might not have meant it that way, but you did attack her integrity with that comment.
Not taking a look at the marking criteria before trying to talk to a teacher about a mark was very unwise.
So, maybe she was a bit harsh on you, but you made some bit mistakes in the way you approached this.
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I disagree with both people that have already answered -- I don't think you really did anything wrong. Considering how diplomatic you are (particularly in the second email), this is your teacher creating a problem/conflict, not you.
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You didn't give her the chance you write down your grade and present it to you. You should have waited and than came to her with your concerns if you still thought we was unfair.
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You jumped to conclusions about how you were graded and demanded to know what you scored. You accused the teacher of being unfair and counting you as failing when in face he/she never had the time to respond properly first.
That's rude and pissed him/her off. Therefore, yes you were wrong. Make your reply to this teacher the last you have to say as you apologized but understand that they couldn't even assess your work right after it was done properly. I would recommend you stay off e-mail with him/her and teachers in general to ward off trouble.
The other thing he/she probably sensed correctly was that you were pissed off and could see it after the performance and in your note hence the mention of your attitude and how you participated.
The teacher may also be hinting at a willingness to throw your partner under the bus for causing mistakes that affected your grade and for wanting to be seen separate from them. And yes, through that you hinted at how you should be graded rather than wait and see.
You definitely were wrong and should never do this with a teacher again as it will hurt you later and even affect your grade more negatively.
You may not like to hear that but I'm being blunt with how they think and what you did incorrectly as that's what you wanted.
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