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Self Conscience about my body infront of him
So i have been dating this guy for about seven months (im 16 he's 17). I have decided that this is the guy I want to lose my virginity too. But im waiting till its been at least a year before i do. He's amazingly sweet and tells me he loves me for me and not how i look. But he's never seen me without closes on and my clothes usually cover up my "chub". Im not hugely big...but i would say that i am over weight. And last week we got into a heavy make out session and things got pretty heated. Now im just affraid when we finally do "do it" im gonna look stupid. I dont know how to handle this, help anyone?
PS: I dont need any talks about how i should be waiting anyways, so thanks but ill decided when im ready
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You could make a million dollar bet on this that he's feeling 100% the same way you are about his own body, genitals, and sex. He's just not said anything about his own fears and expectations.
If he was concerned about your physical stature he wouldn't be here. You know that his love is genuine and that you couldn't disappoint him in any fashion.
The real reason there's an issue is with you and your belief (which he doesn't share) that there's something wrong with you or your body unclothed when there isn't.
You owe it to yourself to tell him that you want to have sex, have chosen him, but aren't quite ready yet and have body image issues. This will help him to help you become comfortable and ready.
Also, him seeing your body doesn't have to be related to sex either. Perhaps if he saw than all this fear about him disliking you or being turned off later will fade.
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well he must like you the way you are ..wouldnt matter.......... if hes not complaining it should be ok then if he had something to say about your weight wouldnt he said it all ready he cares for who u are and what u would look like with or with out cloth...smile and what ever happens happens way of life
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You know, you seem pretty smart for your age. Waiting a year to do it? Thats great. Some girls will rush into it within a few weeks. It's great to know that you respect yourself, and your virginity.
I was in the same boat your in. I don't find myself completely fat and nasty, but I am over weight. I was uncomfortable with my body;
What I did to release some of the tension with how I felt about my body is before we would make out, I'd take some pictures with my phone or camera, and send them to him while he was at my house; than after he saw it, I'd delete it from his phone.
That was the only way I could become okay with my body; he loved it. When a guy says he loves you for who you are and not your body; 9 times out of 10 he means it.
You could always have sex with the lights off, and start off with some clothes on. But that isn't romantic to me.
Or you could do another thing that I did;
I'd show him what parts of my body I hated the most. I love my byofriend, and I respect his thoughts and stuff, so I'd lift up my shirt and I'd show him the couple of stretchmarks i'd have on my belly, and he;d kiss it;
I'd get in my underwear, and I'd show him my legs, and he'd smile; i'd show him my boobs becuase they are small, and he would get an erection.
He fell in love with all the parts of my body I hated, just like your boyfriend will.
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It is your body and you will do what you wish with it. I won't tell you to wait longer, but I will tell you to use protection, as being a teen mother is difficult (I know from experience)
But I digress, considering you've both had "heated" make out sessions, I'm going to assume that he's touched and held you, therefore he has felt the size of your body, and already knows to that extent your body type. And I say if this didn't push him away, it means he likes your body already. Not all guys are shallow and self centered, skeleton chasers. Besides, many guys do prefer women with more meat than bone. I'm not a skeletal woman, I have me some meat, and my man loves it. I'm sure yours will too. Love yourself as you are! And if you are REALLY still insecure about it, there is always the "lights off" method. Much harder to see in the dark. Hope I helped. Good luck, and love yourself!
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