Gender:
FemaleLocation:
NYOccupation:
Residential Associate/ College StudentAge:
21Member Since:
July 28, 2004Answers:
2046Last Update:
March 30, 2010Visitors:
105706Favorite Columnists
foxrider140
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Friendship
Love Life
View All
about
advice
i keep making stupid mistakes in my relationships. i dont know how to stop! i always manage toscrew it up by being with some one else or sleeping with someone else. i cant help it. it just something inside me that make me want to do stuff. i am in a relationship now (4days) and ive already cheated on him. at the time it feels good. i dont know whether its the rik of been caught or what but now i just feel bad and dirty! how do i stop doing this?
Ok..relationships arent for everyone. Maybe you need to live the single life and do your own thing. There are people out there who have open relationships..meaning they have a relationship but they agree that both people can have outside relations. This seems weird to some..but for others its the answer. So perhaps thats your answer..if you truly want to stop and your willing to give up hooking up with several guys..then the best answer is to tell your bf what you did..honesty is the key to a successful relationship. If your bf knows your being completely honest with you..and he sees your really stopping..he might stick by you. If not, and it doesnt work out between you two..definately make sure they next guy will be a bf you wont cheat on. If you try reeealy hard and you just cant help yourself, a relationship isnt for you right now. Consider the open relationship idea or just living it up being single..doing your thing.
-melissa-
My best friends obviously have other friends, but I get so jealous when they have a conversation and I'm not part of it! I get even more jealous when they hang out without me! I really don't want to feel this way but I can't help it! What should I do?
Its normal to feel a little jealous..everyne feels that way. What i would do is become close friends with someone in your group..this way you guys wil have private convos and hang out. Im sure you have private convos with a friend sometimes..and you hang out with someone and the other people your friends with arent there right? because not everyone can get together all the time and hang out altogether. So try and keep that in mind..
-meliss-
im 15/f. ok, please dont judge me but i seriously need help! my boyfriend went away for a week and i was at home bored. but then one of my mates was having a party so i went. but i had a lot of stuff going on in my life so i started drinking to forget them. i know i shouldnt have but i did and i got really drunk. i dont really remember much but i do remember sleeping with a lad at the party. i dont think he used a condom either because he was really drunk too. should i tell my boyfriend or not? do you think he will forgive me because i really do love him? it was just a mistake!
Help me please!
ok..when you tell him dont expect him to give you a hug and say ok. I mean, think if he were the one to make a stupid mistake..so i think if you tell him be ready for him to flip out..and hopefuly he will come around and support you. If i were in your position, what my boyfriend thinks would be #3 on my list. My list of worries would be
1. Am i pregnent??
2.What will my parents say if i am?
3. What will my bf say?
So i wouldnt tell him until after you take some pregnency tests..even if your not pregnent. If you tell him before it would stress you out and he might be angry..
But you know what? it really depends on what kind of person he is and how you are. Maybe you want to tell him right away..it could help you get through it until you take the pregnency test. Its hard to advise you if you should wait on telling him or not..but i definately think you should tell him. Whether you tell him after you take pregnency tests or before, its up to you. Follow your heart and things will pull through no matter what the outcome is
And to answer the additional info part..yes i think it would get him down that you slept with another guy instead of him..its only natural to feel that way. I know that i would feel upset if my bf had sex with somone at a party before we ever had sex (assuming i was older and ready)
But everything will pull throug eventually..so hold your head hhigh and be strong
-melissa-
I had a first date with this guy Jack last night. We have been talking for a while, and so I asked him out, and we went to the movies, and to a friends house afterwards. The date itself was good, no akward silences, kept the conversation going, and he held my hand, which I wasnt expecting him to do, because he is quite shy. At the end of the night, he walked me to my door, and gave me a hug. I almost kissed him, because I thought he would be too shy to make a first move, but he turned away, so I ended up kissing his cheek (and I am so embaressed about it) He said that he didnt want to get me sick (he has been sick for the last week, or something) Do you think thats the real reason, or did he just not want to kiss yet? Is there anything I could say to him to fix this?
He probably smacked himself right after you went inside. People dont think..or have time to think..so i think he was just nervous and shy..but hes probably mad at himself for turning away. Go out with him again and if all is running smooth..no need to bring it up..but if you feel some awkwardness..maybe say "im sorry for the other night..i didnt mean to make you feel uncomfortable..i had a really great night and hopefully tonight will be great also"
Heylo everyone,
i'm going on hols tomorrow (yay) but my lil bro always goes through my stuff!!! i'm gonna be on my period so i dont want him looking through my suitcase like he always does and finding the pads. so where can i hide them? i've had the idea of like rolling them up in my socks but i think they might be too thick or it might damage the pad or curl it up and make it hard to wear?
i like your idea..or maybe putting them in your pant legs of your jeans..fold them up and he wont think to look in the pant legs right?
i have a lotta vivid dreams, and theyre always frightening, stressful, or sad, so i keep waking up scared, panicked or even crying. so it takes me forever to get back to sleep again. i know i probs cant stop the dreams but does anyone have any tips on how i could relax when i wake up from them? ive tried everything from stretching to listening to music to breathign excersizes and nothing works until i just drop off back to sleep again and have another scary/panicking dream. what else can i do?
the dreams are usually about me being lost somewere and panicking that i cant get back, or me dying, or being chased by something, that kinda thing if that helps.
ta muchly.
I would get up..go to each of my family members and it would kind of reassure me that everything is ok and it was only a bad dream. I would think happy thoughts about how lucky i am to have a good home and that im not lost, but im where i belong. I would maybe count all the reasons why i love my home,family,etc. Maybe this will help you fall asleep quicker,calm you down, and maybe even give you a pleasent dream. This is just me, but i would get up and log onto games.com and play a scrabble game (theres other games too) So perhaps try that..i mean its worth a shot right?
i hope your nightmares go away...best of luck
-melissa
well i think im really in love and at the movies this guy that i'm gong out with touched my boobS and i think it was by acident. but than he did it again but he sqizzed them and .. i liked it . than he touched my pussy... and when i say this i mean he went into my pants and fingerd me during a movie than we started making out. He soon took me out of the movie and we had sex. i'm 13!
i'm a A/B student i have lots of freinds and i'm a good girl. (When this happined 3 weeks ago, i hadn't even had my 1st kiss yett... so that made it ever weirdr)
wut should i do?
Well..hopefully you dont regret it because its ddone and over with. if the guy is 18 i would stay away because its a huge age difference, its sagitory rape because hes 18..even though you were willing,,its still rape. I guess now try and build a relationship with him..because sex is a big deal. im 16 and beelive me i get urges..but i havent had sex yet..you just didnt fight that urge..If you got your period already..you might be pregnent..and thats a big deal. im not critisizing you..but next time i would rethink things before doing stuff like that..but nobody can stop you from having sex..
Hey I'm 13f and my best friend died in a car crash. Here's the story. My friend's sister was going to let her drive. I thought it was kool and just kind of went along with it. So I was waiting at my house for them to come pick me up when I heard the pfone ring. My friend had been driving and lost control of the car and hit a flag pole and was killed instantly. I can't take it. They want me to say something at the funeral. It's sad when old people die, but at least you can say they had a good life. What can you say about her?
O my..im so sorry about this. i know it might be tough for you to get up there and speak..but think about her family..think about how devestated they must be. if they want you to say something..you really should. Besides..i would say something anyway. You were her best friend and im sure they would love to hear some of the memories you guys shared growing up. So talk about a really funny or special memory you guys have shared..maybe a joke..just talk about how such a great person she was and how shes in a better place..speak from your heart. Your friend is watching down on you and i really think she would want you to say something at her funeral. Speak from your heart about a memory,joke,how she will be missed..something nice she did for you..anything...have it come from the heart and if you cry dont worry..many people will be crying around you.
-meliss
hey me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months and everything is great until he got into some legal trouble and he has cournt on the 4th of this month. i live him with all my heart and he feels the same way that i feel for him but the thing is he said that if he gets locked up then i should break up with him....he thinks that when he gets out that it wont be the same but i no it will....my ? to u all out there is should i wait for him or no and why..i no that we will have a great furture together. he means the world to me. thatnks!!!
jazi14
I think its the best for both of you to break up. Hes right..i dont think it will be the same because jail will change him.. plus its too much away time from each other. Also..its not fair to you..you should get over him ..i know it might be hard..and find someone else later on in the future who wont get into trouble. Thats my honest opinion..
Many religions believe that the world is going to end soon, and we are living our last days because of all the crime, hate, and everyone being open about their sexuality, what are your opinions on this?
I honestly dont beleive this...but i respect the opinions of those who beleive its true..because we are all entitled to our opinions. In 1999 there was a bunch of crap that the world was going to end on new years when it turned 2000..but look we are all still here. Its just not what i beleive..
R.I.P Pope John Paul II Karol Wojtyla
Now that he has passed away, how does everyone feel? What do you think is gonna happen? Is the world really gonna come to an end? - xglam0urx
Hey...yeah its sad and everything..i mean our family is jewish and even my dad said he did a lot of good things . I think people will mourn and celebrate his life for a few days..or a couple of weeks..and when the new pope is chosen, hopefully he will do a good job also..but no way i dont think the world is coming to an end.
Okay so im 15 f, and my parents are going to leave me and mybrother alone, he's 18, for a week this summer while they go on vacation. I want to have a party, but I know that if they find out, they'll never leave us alone again. So should I have one? What could I do so they don't find out?
oh man..what a great opportunity! your s0o0o lucky..take this opportunity and definately have the party. I would have the party on one of the first few nights they are gone..i mean if its toward the end who knows theres like a 10% chance they might come hme early..but i dont think so. Man you have it made for you! You can have the party..then you have daYS to clean it up! it probably will only take a day or less..so just make sure you put all the valuable stuff..like lamps,china,etc. in a seperate room where nobody can go...and put it all back nicely. Man this is gona be grewT! I wish my parents would go away and leave me here for a week. have a blast!!
what is the meaning of life?
it depends on what aspect you look at it
some look at it from a religious point of view
other look at it from a view of "we're all here for individual reasons'
This is question often thought about and there are many philosophies of why we are here.
some give simpl answerrs : to grow,live,love,be happym
some give more complex answers..
Its a true wonder and nobody knows for sure..but many people have indivudual opinions on why the whole human race is here..or why they themselves are here. There are many stories about this..check out bookstores..go online and research it..its very interesting.
I have three best friends. Lets call them A,B,and C. I fight with A alot! Whenever anyone fights with A, B sticks up for her! It gets me really mad because i told A i dont like when she tells B when we fight because A can handle her own problems and i just dont get it because B never sticks up for me and its like shes following A because me and A are like sisters and we fight but we only joke around and B gets in the middle and she makes it seem even worse then it already is.. C is a better friend.. she doesnt get involved but i can tell she hates when we fight, but all 3 of them said i changed because i was hanging out with this other gurl.. ill call her D. Well A,B,and C all started to talk about me because i always hung out with D at school.Not really alot of people like D that much and i keep her company at school.. but i dont know if i should keep doing that because people are starting to talk about D again and i was already through that and i dont want it to happen again.What should i do? Should i talk to all these people? all my friends are falling apart and i dont know what to do. thanks!
I beleive you shouldnt stop talking to someone just because your going to get talked about for it. This is the kind of stuff people deal with everyday in high school..and its hard! I would call a "friend meeting" It migght sound corny but i think you should. Talk to a,b,and c. Tell them your thoughts..then let them say theirs..just tell them you dont want to fight and that a.b.c are your best friends! tel them d is someone your friedly with but could never take their places so please stop talking about d.
try the friend meeting..it might help.
Hey.. i got this thing with my parents, my moms ok.. i guess were all not so close.. but we still talk you know. well see my parents useally just argue.. alot.. but its becoming more violent. my dad hit me once before.. then slammed me into the tv shelf thingy. and sometimes into the walls. everytime i tell them to stop up my dad would tell.. you keep your mouth shut or i`ll shut it for you.. i dunno whats gunna happen after like.. 1 day thats over.. then they argue over somehting else thats really stupid. my problem is.. i have a hard time telling my friends. I got this one friend.. cause she knows how it feels and all.. and im bi i have a girl friend.. (ima girl to) and i have a hard time talking to her bout it.. whats a good way to open up.. sorry this is long...
i`ll rate.. please help.
thanks everyone!
opening up is hard to do..and when your ready it will be easy for you. Dont force yourself, because this is a tender situation. Im sure your gf will support you and comfort you when you tell her. Maybe set a serious mood. If you guys are watching tv on the couch..and your in private..bring up the serious issue about your family. Maybe ask about hers first..then when its your turn..tell her about it.
Okay, at my school we play basketball seriously rough! But everyday its the same teams, and it gets rougher and rougher! When our team wins, when we go to the locker room, we get dressed and go. Without saying a word! But whenever they win or they lose, its constant annoyance in the locker room with them talking about how we cheated or how they like playing but not against skanks like us (not true) Our teams are like the nasties (them) against the trusted! I am sick and tired of this sort of harrasment! Going to the counselor does not work, so what should i do or say to get these people off our backs?
~Aggravated!~
I can understand your agravation. I bet your not the only person who feels this way. Talk to the people on your team..and suggest next time you play w ..when they start saying all that crap..just all of you say "you know what? wheres your class? we won fair and square" or "you guys won so good game..now lay off about it" Tell them to have sportsmanship. At least your team carries themselves with good sportsmanship..not everoyne has that. IF your whole team kidna chimes in with you..it can be effective and they should stop.
ok well my boy friend wants to do something today but i dont... what should i do PLEASE HELP
honesty is the key in a relationship..even if its just something like going to the park and you dont want to ..say so! or..doing something else..maybe sexually..definately say that you dont want to! whatever it is..hes your bf ..so feel comfortable speaking the truth to him.
-meliss
What should I do if I get bullied a lot by kids at school? I go to a catholic school, too and its still happening. Junior High can definitly be tough. I get picked on by 7th graders and kids my age. What should I do? My parents and I have tried and tried but nothing has worked! I've gotten nasty emails and instant messengers, and rude and harassing phone calls. can you help me?
Deceivingxheart
Ok time to take it a step further. Press charges. These nasty emails and messages on AIM..save them all. Use them for when you press charges. Maybe when these little runts have to fess up to a police officer or judge..they will stop. But i would definately press charges because its harassment and it needs to stop.
okay!
When people ask you for advice, then you answer, and they rate you low because they dont like your answer, and because you didnt say what they wanted you to! thats just bull! i mean, they are asking for your oppinion!
Anyone else agree or have this problem?
I wish they would realize, that its just what we think!!!
everyone thinks different!!!
I think the low #'s are just there if someone doesnt answer the question, or cusses you out!
Anyways-
Kels
yes i agree! you brought up a couple good points today..and hopefully the people who rate low will see this and realize they should stop!
okay!
When people ask you for advice, then you answer, and they rate you low because they dont like your answer, and because you didnt say what they wanted you to! thats just bull! i mean, they are asking for your oppinion!
Anyone else agree or have this problem?
I wish they would realize, that its just what we think!!!
everyone thinks different!!!
I think the low #'s are just there if someone doesnt answer the question, or cusses you out!
Anyways-
Kels
yes i agree! you brought up a couple good points..and i hope people who rate low for no reason see this and stop!