I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 172871
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can someone tell me why guys are so into boobs? i mean, i always hear boys saying"well i dumped her because she is soooooooooooo flat!" what do middle school kids need to be worrying about that stuff? and why do boys even need to worry about it? (link)
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From an evolutionary standpoint, males like females with bodies that look like they'd be good at bearing children.
From a cultural standpoint, boys are flooding with images of breasts from the time they are little - they're 'taught' by their culture that breasts are sexy and important - the bigger the better.
Unfortunately, it can take some time for boys to understand there's more to girls than boobs. In junior high, many guys aren't ready for a real relationship with someone, so they focus on looking cool for their friends.
Girls do not finish developing until their late teens or early twenties, so it's pointless for girls OR guys to try to base their readiness for a relationship based on the size of boobs.
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omg ok i turned 15 in june & i've never "french kissed" any1..like wut tha hell..all my friends have and iduno..i've had so many boyfriends & almost all of them have wanted to make-out with me, but that's when i usually dump them and go hide b/c im soooo nervous...like i want to sooo badly but i'm scared..i don't know what to do, and i don't want to look dump b/c i'm a bad kisser or w/e..iduno..i'm seein this guy now..who i absolutely adore & i don't want to ruin it b/c i'm scared of my first kiss..i love him so much and he's 2 years older than me so i know he'll want to kiss..help..='(...i know after i get the first one over with i'll be fine..i'm just usually hesitant when it comes to doing things i'm unsure about..sorry its so long..i'm just upset & scared & confused..and i hope ya'll can be understanding and help me out..thanx (link)
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First of all, I'd think about why you were scared. Is it that you just don't want to mess up, or have you not felt ready with any of the people you have been with? Are you not really attracted to them?
If you've searched your heart and feel sure that you really do care about this guy, then I'd suggest you talk to him. You want to be with someone who can help make your first kiss comfortable and not awkward - it might be embarassing to bring up with him, but chances are he'll feel special knowing he's the first guy you've cared enough about to really want to kiss.
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13/f
i havnt gotten my first kiss yet and im scared i will do it wrong or something. if we like french kiss how do you do it? i dont want to do it wrong and be embarrased. please help (link)
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Everybody think they're going to mess up on their first kiss. But if you've found someone you really like, and you know they like you, that helps the situation.
When the moment is right, it'll happen and you'll surprise yourself. You'll just naturally know what to do.
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well im startin my h.s on sept 8...im really nervous EVERYONE @ my middle skool is goin to this one h.s and im goin to another one far away bc i didnt like the ppl @ my old skool i just had a lot of probs n stuff....but yea this skool is a whole diff crowd of ppl my last skool was s0o0o ghetto!! this is like really not....im just so nervous i dont no ne 1 and we hav to wear uniforms that r navy blue and khaki...im afraid im gonna look like a dork and hav no friends..hellllppp...im gonna b so lost =( (link)
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First of all, if you think you're going to look like a dork because of the uniform, remember that everone else is going to be wearing it, too. You'll all look the same.
Next, it sounds like you really didn't like your last school. It's good that this school is so different, and it's also good you won't know anyone. Think of it as a clean slate - the problems you had in junior high don't have to be a part of you anymore.
Lots of people will be in your situation - you will not be the only new person. Even the kids who know people are still probably nervous about starting high school.
Just be friendly and honest, and you'll wind up with the sort of friends you want.
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ok me and my b/f have been going out 4 a while and i trust him with everything but recenly we have been talking about sex and he wants to and he said that if im not ready that its ok and that he will wait as long as i want to wait but i like wanna have sex with him but im kinda scared still so if any one could help me it would be greatly appcated (link)
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You're lucky to have a boyfriend who respects you enough to let you make your own decisions. It's hard making decision about how far to go with people, but here's some things which might help:
Most relationships started in the teen years, particularly the early teen years, are not going to last. It's practically a guarantee.
The sooner sexual intercourse starts, the sooner you have to deal with protecting yourself from pregnancy and diseases.
The chances of developing cervical cancer are dramatically increased - the earlier you have sex, the better your chances of getting it.
Sex will change your relationship, and there is no way to be absolutely sure it will change for the better.
Once you have sex with one guy, it's easier to have it with the next one that comes along. Eventually, you'll find someone really special and probably regret that you've already had sex.
If you are nervous and/or scared, it's a pretty solid sign that you really aren't ready to have sex. I applaud you for asking for help about this area - it's a very big decision to make, and if you are truly ready, there wouldn't be any huge doubts or fears.
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Ok, this is going to be kind of long because I need to give you all the details. I haven't always been overweight, but when I was finally aloud to stay home in the summer by myself, I started to get bigger. I couldn't go anywhere when my parents were home, so I sat and watched TV and ate constantly. Well, the big problem is that was about 6 years ago! Every year I say I'm going to finally lose weight, and I still haven't. Now I'm at least 30 pounds over-weight, and even though I love playing sports and being active, I also love to sit at home and eat the "tasty" foods. I am going to be a junior, and it is so hard to be an over-weight teen. I know all the stuff I need to do if I want to lose weight, but I just can't find my motivation to do it. Do any of you have advice to try help me? Please, I would really appreciate it. (link)
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My biggest motivation (I've lost 24 pounds so far) has been to think about the health problems that come with being overweight. There is an increased risk for all sorts of diseases and complications as you get older, and I like living too much to chance it.
In the short term, think about all the stuff your body does for you. If you love playing sports, think about how much easier it will be to run around when you are 30 pounds lighter.
I'd go to the store and pick up a bag of sugar - they're about 2.5 pounds. Pick up enough of them to see what ten extra pounds is like. Carry them around with you for a minute. When you finally put them down, notice how good it feels to be lighter. More free.
Anything you do is going to be a life change - there are no easy fixes. The biggest key to losing weight is really believing you can do it.
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hey i just ordered contacts.. im gettin them the 23rd =)) but n e ways.. i need some info on what and what not to do with them in ur eyes that the docter doesnt tell me.. please help.. =)
lilcutie910 (link)
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The doctor should tell you everything you need to know - but if you have any specific questions, write them down and ask when go to pick up the contacts.
I wore contacts on and off for years - the biggest advice I'd give would be to make sure they stayed nice and moist. If you have a tendancy to get dry eyes, buy some contact-friendly drops to carry around with you. Don't ever sleep in them.
And if they ever do get stuck, the best thing is to sit down and breathe for a few minutes. You'll need to keep applying drops until they loosen up, and they WILL come out.
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What's a good way to lose weight on the tops of your legs? I've tried the running thing and it doesn't seem to work well. Bicycle? Walking? what? (link)
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You can't lose weight on just one part of your body, but you CAN bulk up your muscles in that part. If you are concerned about losing weight, then eating in a healthy way and exercising a few times a week can help.
If you are just interested in toning up, pilates, yoga, or muscle specific exercise can help.
Keep in mind, though, that if you are only working your upper legs, chances are you'll only make those mucles stronger and possibly larger.
Anything you do will take awhile to take affect - losing weight in a smart way is a lifestyle change. Good luck.
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HeY! Besides taking Midol or asprin, what a good way to realive or get rid of cramps?! ThAnKs!! I really need the advice! =) (link)
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Aspirin, actually, won't help. You need to be taking some form of ibuprofen, which will relax the muscles.
Aside from medicine, here's some other nifty stuff:
heating pads, warm baths, mild exercise, orgasm, not using tampons when your cramps are bad, drinking plenty of water, evening primrose oil tablets (check with a doctor before taking them), trying different positions to lie or sit in, etc.
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is it ok to have stretch marks or like scars of some sort on ur breasts? (link)
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Yes. Your breasts have grown, possibly rapidly at points, and stretch marks appear on skin which has been stretched.
They're normal.
Palmer's Cocoa Butter with Vitamin E is often recommended to those who have scars after surgery; it will moisturize the skin and promote elasticity. Plus, it smells nice.
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I know it was wrong but i had sex wit my bf...the problem is i did it wit out a condom...he did not cum inside me but im really scared that im preg...its only been like 2-3 weeks since i did that..im so scared and idk what to do..i cant tell ne one well i can just not my family..im waiting for my period to start..it will start the end of this month..someone please help or tell me about preg like the signs and symtoms i really need help on it cuz its scaring me.. (link)
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The only major sign or symptom you'd notice this early in a pregnancy would be a missed period. In order for a pregnancy test to be as accurate as possible, you need to wait to take it until your period is two weeks late, as you might get false negatives before than point.
Be aware that high levels of stress - for example, worrying about being pregnant - can make your period late.
Remember this panicky, sick feeling you are experiencing the next time you want to have sex without using protection.
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does it hurt you or feel weird when you take out a tampon?!?!
thanx,
anomonyous
(link)
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If you are using a tampon with the right absorbancy for you, then it shouldn't hurt when you pull it out.
Sometimes it does feel weird, though. If the tampon is mostly dry when it comes out, there can be a slight tugging sensation - it won't come out as easily. This still shouldn't hurt, though.
If you are often hurting when you take out tampons, it's worth using mini-tampons or going back to pads. Pads are made so thin nowadays you can barely tell you are wearing them.
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is it healthy to use dildos and "play" toys in sex and i was wondering..should you give head to guys with condoms on? and is there a female condom? i heard there was but i wasn't sure (link)
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Sex or masturbation is always healthy if it cannot emotionally or physically harm anyone participating. Dildos or other toys are just sexual preferences, and everyone has their own opinions on what they do or do not like.
Giving head is having sex. STDs can be passed through oral sex. Regular latex condoms can put a damper on the moment, but there are flavoured condoms or lubricants which can make it nicer. If you are talented at not choking yourself, you can try having soft candy in your mouth to help with the taste.
And yes, there is a female condom. It can be found in most any drug store, usually in packs of three, and comes with explicit details and diagrams of how to use it.
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does any1 no how tha female condom is used.. just wonder... Candi (link)
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The female condom is shaped a little bit like a tube. It has two rings - one of them has latex inside the loop. That's the end that goes in first. The other end has an opening, and that will slightly hang outside of your vaginal entrance.
Female condoms are generally pricier than male condoms, as well as being a bit awkward. With practice, though, the user can become comfortable with inserting them.
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im 15/F and lately ive been like peeing alot and not being able to go to bed AT ALL!! i dont know if its cus i drink before i go to bed or what but i cant sleep and i have to pee like every 30 minutes, me and my boyfriend have alot of sex and im on birth control and have been for a year or so but i got my period last week another signidicant thing is ive gained like 20 lbs but i have been eating more which is another sign of pregnancy so all im hopin is im not so if anyone has been pregnanyt or if they know what it could be then please help me im freakin out and i have no one to talk too.. (link)
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The pill can make you gain weight, so I wouldn't worry about that.
Now, onto your period - was it a normal period, or was it spotty? If it was normal, chances are you are not pregnant.
If you're having a lot of sex, though, you could have a urinary tract infection. It can make you feel like you need to pee a lot, or it can burn when you pee, or both.
I'd see a doctor about it - you can get a short dose of medication and be fine, if a UTI is the problem. If it is, then you'll want to make sure your boyfriend is more gentle sexually and that you're drinking cranberry juice - it can help keep your urinary tract healthy.
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i have been fingered like 3 times but after were done my stomach hurts really bad, is this normal?
(link)
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Yes, it is normal. Some females experience mild stomach pain after sex or masturbation. Think about it - you've been writhing around. You've worked your muscles, both inside and out.
It's common and fine if the ache goes away shortly after sexual activity. If the pain is incredibly sharp, bleeding occurs, or doesn't stop after an hour, I would definitely make an appointment to see a doctor.
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ok what if you were doing the dishes and you put your hands under the water after and then dried them off then you fingered yourself are you gonna get a disease? (link)
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Chances are, you're just fine. But in future, you'll want to wash your hands with soap and water before touching yourself if your hands could be dirty.
If you decide to have a follow-up session the next time you're doing dishes, wash with fresh soap and rinse well.
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Since the last time I was at the gyno my boyfriend and I had sex. I cant tell my doctor if I go back because she'll take tests for STD's and birth control, then my mom will know. Should I not tell the dr and get birth control from a friend or should I tell her and make up a reason for the birth control? I'm so scared my mom will find out, she'll kill me :-/ Thank you soo much for the advice! (link)
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I think the first thing you need to do is see your gyno in person; once you're in the same riim with her, ask her point blank if things you tell her are confidential. Not only will you get an honest answer, but your mind will be settled.
Getting birth control from a friend is dangerous. The 'pill' sounds like there is only one type of medication, but in reality there are as many different types of pill as there are women. Only your doctor can help you figure out which type and dosage is right for you.
Also - remember that the pill does not protect against STDs. The safest sex to be having would be using the pill AND condoms.
Another thing to consider is how you will pay to get your proscription filled. Your doctor should be able to give you free sample packs, let you know how much they are if you want to pay in cash, or point you in the direction of clinics which offer sliding payment scales.
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My sister is a lesbian, and I am good friends with her girlfriend. When I am introducing the two of them to other people I always find myself saying "this is my sister and her friend."
I know I should say girlfriend, but I never can get it out.
Is it alright if I just say friend to avoid akward moments and let coversations to contiune to flow, or do you think it is affending to my sister and her girlfriend? (link)
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I'm a lesbian, and it deeply offends me when family members refer to my wife as a 'friend.'
You're in the closet as much as your sister is, and you'd be surprised how fresh the air is once you step out of it.
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I am 23 years old. I just moved to California from Alaska with my boyfriend. The problem is, i do not think i love him. I am still in love with my guy friend back home. I am very unhappy in my current realtionship. I told him i wanted to go back home to Alaska. He agreed, but i am afraid once we get there, I will not want to be with him anymore. I want to be happy. My guy friend back home loves me also and i know that he would be with me and we would be happy but i do not want to break my boyfriends heart. What do i do to make this easy for us all? (link)
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There's a difference between doing the easy thing and doing the right thing. Point blank: Don't be with someone you do not love. Especially if you living together. It's not fair to you or the other person.
You have said, again and again, you are unhappy. No doubt your boyfriend would be happier with someone who really loved him.
Other guy aside, you need to do what's best for you. And I think you already know what that is. It's not easy, but the best choices often aren't.
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