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Do or Don't?
I am 23 years old. I just moved to California from Alaska with my boyfriend. The problem is, i do not think i love him. I am still in love with my guy friend back home. I am very unhappy in my current realtionship. I told him i wanted to go back home to Alaska. He agreed, but i am afraid once we get there, I will not want to be with him anymore. I want to be happy. My guy friend back home loves me also and i know that he would be with me and we would be happy but i do not want to break my boyfriends heart. What do i do to make this easy for us all?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You can't make it easy for everybody. You have to tell the truth or everybody will be unhappy. In the long run the truth will come out. If you tell your current b.f. now, he will probably stay in California. Remember, you can't go forward based on a lie, everyone loses.
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There's a difference between doing the easy thing and doing the right thing. Point blank: Don't be with someone you do not love. Especially if you living together. It's not fair to you or the other person.
You have said, again and again, you are unhappy. No doubt your boyfriend would be happier with someone who really loved him.
Other guy aside, you need to do what's best for you. And I think you already know what that is. It's not easy, but the best choices often aren't.
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The longer you wait the harder you are making it on all of you. There really is no easy way out of a relationship and still be able to show respect for another persons feelings. Like it or not, there are going to be hurt feelings, and you will simply have to deal with that. Behonest with your boyfriend is the best thing you can do for both of you. Its hardly fair or right for him to be in a relationship with someone who does not love him, and is simply sticking around because they don't know how to end it. Letting him go will give him the chance to find the happiness, and love he deserves. At the moment you are simply harming yourself and him. And thats no way to live.
Sit him down, tell him you have something you need to say, and its going to be difficult for both of you to deal with. Then let him know you care about him, but you don't feel that you are in love him, and for his sake and yours you feel it is better that you both go your seperate ways. You both have the right to be happy, and feel loved. You are doing both of you a great injustice by prolonging this break-up.
So take a deep breath, steady youself, and do what needs to be done, for the better of all parties involved.
~Mysti~
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hey i used to live in alaska, anchorage, go back and get the dude you like, dont stay in california with a dude you dont, if you have the money to go back than just go.
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Tell him you would never want to live a lie. Tell him that hes sweet, list all his charecteristics that are good, but tell him it wouldnt be fair to him to stay with him forever, but all the time not feeling the way he was. You have to tell him that if you didnt do this it would be mean to him. And that you care for him too much to deceive him. Go for the other guy if hes your true love. Dont live unhappy. Of course the guy your with now might not love what you have to tell him but he'll understand it a hell of a lot better. Good luck --xoxo
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You sound very confused about this whole situation. This may or may not help you,but write down the pros and cons of living with each guy,and take your own feelings into account for the both of them. Decide which place you like living in more and give serious thought to all of this. This won't be easy no matter what you do. But you ultimately have to do what makes you happy. If it breaks your boyfriend's heart,then it does. Consider the alternative. You stay with him,but you're miserable,hence the relationship is miserable. You owe yourself and your guy in Cali more than that.
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as much as it is going to hurt your boyfriend.. you should tell him before things get worse. hopefully he will understand and move on with his life good luck!! -jMe
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Sounds like you have to really think on the choices you make. If you made up your mind, and really believe you love your friend back home, then go for it. As for your boyfriend, there is little you can do to soften the blow. Some important things to hit are <i> why</i> you want to end the relationship and why you aren't happy. There really is no way to make it 'easy', because you are probably going to break someone's heart one way or another. Sit with your boyfriend and explain to him what's going on inside your head. It'll be hard for him to take, so try to be sensitive. Don't be too harsh if it's specifically him that you have a problem with in the relationship, but try to tell him the truth, he deserves to know it.
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Hi. Well, the sad truth of it is that somebody is going to end up hurt. Whether it be your boyfriend, your guy friend, or you. I think you should get together with your guy friend. First of all, you'd both be happy, and as much as your boyfriend will be crushed, I think he'd be happier knowing that he wasn't wasting his time with someone who didn't love him as much as he loved her. That's all I really know on the subject. Sorry, hope it works out for you.
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just tell your current boyfriend that you dont think that you should be toghther any more cause you think that you would be happier with your guy friend
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do what makes you happy. don't stay in a relationship that is going nowhere. you are going to have to break up with your current boyfriend if you want to be with someone else. it's your life, dont stay somewhere where you are unhappy. best wishes! send me something if you need any more help, i'm here for you.
xox Kristen
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