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Do any of you have realyl good strategies to keeping calm? I get mad a lot and when I get ultimately mad I can't take it anymore and just burst out crying! (link)
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edit- EDIT EDIT
well what about just logically confront the person and debating your point while seeing someone elses point doesnt mean you have to agree with the opposing side. talk it out with someone and tell people how there making you feel and why. think about whats really making you mad. if you absolutely have no control over it and dont understand it then maybe you should see a doctor or counselor to see if theres a medical or deeper reason for it.
if its something serious id suggest anger management classes but if not maybe you just need a release like writing or somekind of art or other form of expression that way you can turn it into something beautiful. or you could just go into a room and try to reason with your self and take deep breaths or you can get some peaceful music and meditate and even light incense which ever would be soothing to you.you could also try those stress ball that you can squeeze when you get angry or by a punching bag or go to a gym.
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okay so my bf really want to have sex but i dont really feel comfortable doing it bc everytime we are at his house he lives in the basement but everytime we are there and we mess around his mom always yells down for him to come up to help her with something. now i want to wait until we live together which will be in june. im 18 and hes 19 btw. so it is really fair for me to have him wait. i just want to do it with no interuptions. haha is that too much to ask? (link)
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theres nothing unfair or fair about making him wait.if your not comfortable doing something then you dont have to just tell him you want to wait until you move intogeather if he loves you then hell understand he should consider himself privelaged that your even willing to do it with him. if you guys are serious about eachother then you should have all the time in the world if neither of you are going anywhere so waiting a few months isnt going to kill him..if he respects you.
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My OLD best friend was the greatest for 3 years, or so I thought, I found out she lied and wasn't even my real friend for the first 2 years, and she does little things just to make herself feel better and me feel worse. This may seem kinda stupid and conseted but after being taken advantage of for 3 years it's a big thing/ But anyway, I realised she's really insecure, not that pretty or cool, and I'm MUCH prettier than her. SO after she told all these people lies about me I stoped being her friends, and made friends with my best friend in the world Meg, and we're so good together and we get along great but being friends with her and not my old friend has comprimised my friendships with a lot of my old friends. SO that makes me really sad, and now I'm becoming kind of popular I guess.. and this may seem great but I kind of feel like I'm becoming a snob and that my new friends aren't for real. PLUS with this new like I'm going to have to leave my old life in the dust, but I just don't think I can do that, but I CAN'T go back to my old life because I was SO mistreated. I can't help but feel torn and stuck in the middle... what should I do? (link)
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you have to be true to yourself.you have just as much power as anyone else.these people who your worried about mistreating you arent above you and cant control you. you need to think about who your real friends are and stick with them some times less is more.its better to have a few friends who you really care about and care about you then alot of fakeones who will turn on you and backstab. really if you have friends who are just pretend then you are still being mistreated in away. only do things and spend time with the people who make you feel positive. it doesnt matter what others do or think if your not happy or proud of yourself inside. whats the point in being popular with fake people who dont even like you. just be who you are you can still advance in like and keep some of the good old things. there is an abundance of people and things to be around that will set right with you.
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I was to easy
and i gave a guy what he wanted.
Yeah, he pretty much used me and screwed me over.
He said he hated me for a good amount of time because everyone found out about what we did.
After a good 5 monthes, he told me he didnt hate me anymore and he was being nice to me again.
I like him alot, and i always have no matter how mean he was to me.
And I know he doesnt like me like that, but i'm pretty sure he would want to do that stuff again and the thing is, i dont want him to use me and screw me over but i really want to do that stuff again too.
We havent really talked in about a week, but im just so confused
help? please (link)
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why is he saying he hated you?it takes two.he had just as much involvement in it. if your allowing him to do that stuff again then your allowing him to use you because thats all it amounts to. thats probably the reason he was being nice to you but that stuff he did with you he can do with anyone its not the seventh wonder...so dont be that anyone...you shouldnt waste your time really liking someone who doesnt like you at all and will just use you for a play thing,when you can be spending time finding and really liking someone who really likes you and respects you.thats not a good guy and believe me im sure he wasnt quiet about what happened word gets spread.you can either choose to be someones little rag doll that gets walked on played with and then thrown in the junk pile or you can move on and eventually find someone who truly loves and respects you and handles you like porcelin.
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me and my group of friends with a new girl this year..now shes a part of our group. its been about 5 months since we've been friends, and now she said that she used to cut herself and sometimes gets drunk. im not like that at all. i think thats really bad. i dont want to be peer preasured. i really like her.. whaddo i do? (link)
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She said she used to do that not that she still does. If she does and shes your friend then you should help her get better. your not going to get peer pressured you know who you are and who your not. usually people who do that kind of thing dont do it to be bad they do it because bad things have happened. im not condoninng it or saying thats the answer to problems but somepeople get lost.maybe shes over it if not then help her get over it. shes your friend and you care about her right? as far as the getting drunk part well if she refuses to quit then you cant change her. but just because she drinks doesnt mean you have to drink or be in that atmosphere and if she doesnt accept that your not like that or trys to force you in to anything then shes not a friend and you can make new ones.
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when you dont cuss [unless youre seriously pissed] and you come from a family that doesnt cuss [if they do its hardly ever, and only the words damn and hell, honestly], would it be rude to ask your boyfriend if he can ask his family to tone down the cussing. these people seriously say everything in the book, quite rudely, and its WAY WAY WAY often. like every other sentence no lie. my boyfriend tries to keep it down around me, but his mom and step dad are the worst, and it intimidates me to be around them when theyre like that. should i just live with it? my mom would flip if she knew i was being exposed to a family like that, but i go to see him not them, but it makes me rather uncomforatble to hear "older mature civilized adults" use such vulgarity and talk about people the way they do. agh. 16 female. (link)
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you might just have to live with it and accept them for who they are if their not forcing you to cuss or act like them...yes its vulgar but everyones diffrent and you can't very well tell them how to act because it would be just like them telling you how to act. as far as exposure you know who you are and your not going to change your way of thinking just because of what your exposed to...it doesnt make them bad people its just what their content with and yes i do think theyed get offended. no one likes to be told how to act or what to say.everyone has to be true to theirrself so if you really like him and hes not making you act in the same manner then its just something your going to have to accept or find someone else...if thats the worst thing their doing then it really isnt that bad.everyones diffrent and sometimes people just dont mesh...doesnt mean you cant overcome it but trying to change someone isnt the answer be cause they wont unless they want to. so just let it be as long as their not hurting anyone or theirselves seriously or forcing you to act like them.what would you think if they said you need to cuss more because their uncomfortable around you.
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I know this is random. But I think my best friend had sex with my exboyfriend a couple months ago. I know its horrible to think she would do something like that and guess about something like that happening. but shes had sex with other guys ((*i think shes rather a sl*t)). and she always flirted with him during and after we went out. ever since me and him broke up she was acting wierd around him since then. i can see something between them and its wierd because they hate eachother now. do you think i should say something next time she mentions him or acts around him??? we dont hang out all together so if we all see eachother its akward. :( advice please? (link)
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i think you should just leave it alone unless you think she slept with him while you guys were going out then its not really your problem. If niether one of them are bringing it up to you then its between them. Its your best friends lifestyle not yours so just dont worry about it. it would be a diffrent story if you thought it happened when you two were dating. if you do think that he cheated on you with her then i would ask her about it..doesnt mean shell confess...but if it turns out that he did cheat on you with her or you just strongly believe that it did happen then you should forget about them both and find a new bestfriend. who needs enemies if you have friends like that. but its not worth the negativity to stay in that kind of relationship.just remeber it takes two and he must have not been that good of boy friend if he was flirting with her or cheated.
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Is it bad if you straighten your hair with a curling iron?
I know it seems weird, but my hair isn't that straight around my bangs and towards the bottom of my hair. If this helps, my curling iron is made of metal. It's not that good, because i've had it for a while.
so my question is if using my curling iron as a straightener is going to be ok? will it damage my hair? if so, how much? is this safe?
thank you! (link)
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its not going to be anydiffrent then it would be using a straightener or curling iron to curl your hair. the diffence would be the results a straighter might work better but ive used a curling iron to straighten hair just because i didnt want to heat up my straightener when my curler was already hot and didnt really have time.
its not going to do anymore damage then what a straightener or curling it would. its ok. and no your hair is not going to fall out from using it every day nomatter how much someone might mislead you to believe.
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I see my dad's side of the family every week usually and they judge me a lot and never believe what I say since I'm too young to know any better. I'm 17 and I've had to grow up quickly due to a harsh childhood. I think I should know what I think and believe and they somehow still don't believe me. I have given up on having real conversations with them, which I miss, so what should I do to get them to trust what I say? I really am out of ideas here and they are my family so I do need them. (link)
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i dont know what there talking about your almost an adult. i know what you mean i had to grow up when i was 11. if you havent did anything to mislead them and are already talking to them in a logical manner and acting like an adult thentheres not alot you can do with people like that...really its their own ignorance...you can either talk anyways whether they like it or not...decide to just not have much to do with them..stop seeing them completely..or just let what they roll off your back...but its best to just be true to your self nomatter what anyone has to say about it.every person is diffrent.i understand that its your family but you have a right to be yourself and speak your mind to. maybe you could tell them how it truly makes you feel and if they cant accept you then that doesnt mean its got to weigh you down.
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My parents keep bringing up my
ex boyfriend. I broke up with him because
he told me he liked another girl too.
Well, my parents keep asking about him.
I've told them numerous times NOT to bring
him up, and not to ask my about them.
I've told them what happened and everything
but my mom tells me I'm just being sensitive.
How do I get them to stop?
They won't listen to me! (link)
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i cant believe your mom said you were being to sensitive because he liked another girl...its alittle odd. but anyways have you asked them why they keep bringing it up. ask them. if they say they think you should reconsider him then tell them your not interested in him anymore so why would you date someone that you dont have feelings for anymore (say it wheter you do or not to get them to drop it) its kind of like a guy shaving a mustach when he doesnt have hair on his upper lip its just pointless irritation.so you would just assume move on with your life and dont understand why its that big of deal hes not the only guy on earth...it would help to if you new any bad things about him that you could tell him but if theres not just leave it at that.if they dont drop it just ignore it and eventually theyll realize your not going to have a relationship with him again and lose interest.
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Dear Advisers,
Just call me scaredy, I'm female, age 17, and I'm really troubled... I stopped going to school because of my fears and I'm really scared... Its been 2 years already, almost 3. I really want to go back to school. But something is holding me back. Every time I meet my previous classmates, I feel insecure and I would sometimes run away from them literally. They are already in 2nd year college while I'm still in 12th Grade. I felt bad, now I am locking myself here in our house. I never went out for 4 months already... But I want to go back to school... So badly.... The only solution I can think of is that I move somewhere else... I hate here, I despise this place... But I will surely miss my parents, if I will move out. But if its the only thing that can make me go back to school, then I will... The only problem is.... I haven't told my parents yet... Also if I tell them, they will certainly say no... We are having financial problems recently and me moving could add up to that problem.... What should I do??? People have been telling me to fight my fears... But I can't... No matter what I do, I really can't... I can't.... (link)
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I think you might have a nervous disorder like my mom.so i would reccomend that you make an appoitment with a doctor. if you have a job that should cover the expense if you pay for it. i really do think that is your problem or something very similar from experience of living with someone with a nervous disorder.they should diagnose you and give you a perscription thats best for your body and will balance out your system and youll see a big change.its nothing to be ashamed of or your fault you just need to get the help.
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Ok so i told my best friend that if she starts "talking" or going back out with a guy named Jay that i wouldnt talk to her anymore.
And the reason i told her that is because for one, he is rude to me and is an asshole to me.
2nd reason is when jay and my best friend went out they fought almost EVERY day and when i tried to have a conversation with her, ALL SHE WOULD TALK ABOUT WAS THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.. about how they fight abt the same thing. and i got sick of it.
Third reason is that he changed her attitude towards me and more importantly her parents.. he would get mad that she couldnt hang out like everyday (because she has strict parents) and so like he would make her go ask her parents then she would just end up gettin in a fight with her parents bcause she wanted to hang out with him. (and this happen almost every day too)
4th reason, they only knew each other like a week or two and he kept tryin to do stuff with her and she wouldnt.. and he WOULD get soo mad and start a fight about it almost every time they hung out bcause she wouldnt ever mess around.
anyways i confronted her about all this and finally i sayd well if you want to go back out with him then DONT TALK ABOUT HIM AROUND ME... and seriously i dont want her goin back out with him because i know its goin to end up the same way.. but i want to know if i am doing the right thing and if i am not.. then what should i do and what should i tell her? (link)
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your not a bad friend you just want you and your friend to be treated with respect. youve said what you can to help her but the reality is its her life to live however she wants.just stick by her. i know its kindof painful and annoying watching some one make bad decisions but you cant control another person even if it is in their best interest you just got to stay by her side with out getting caught up in it.at least your honest about it.
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ok heres the story this guy who i barely know says hi to me every day and he sent someone who he thought was me a myspace that said wave like 32 times and he told me this so i was just wondering if anyone could tell me if this means he likes me or if he is just some stalker messing with my head and could someone please tell me what to do. (link)
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Ithink he likes you either romantically (more then likely romantically) or he just thinks youd be cool for a friend. if he didnt have some kind of interest in you he wouldnt be bothering you unless hes just the type who is extremly nice butthen hed be doing the samething to everyone.so yes he probably likes you.
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i have a big clique of friends and i always have to ask them if i can go to the mall or movies with them and i dont like inviting myself, but they dont invite me that often. i invite them to places but i get sick of always having to ask them. they are really nice but i guess having a big clique only leaves to big problems. i really want them to be the ones to invite me to hang out because i always have to ask them and i sound desperate. don't get me wrong they are the greatest friends i could ask for so yeah. any tips? (link)
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If theyre the greatest friends and your close maybe they dont invite you because they asuume youll come. but if you feel like your being desperate maybe you need to reconsider who your friends are because you should never feel like you have to beg for friendship.truthfully if you know theyre your friends and theyre not just blowing you off and there are alot of people in your group then their probably just caught up in their own lives and heads and probably dont even realize this is bothering you. if they come when you invite them and treat you good then maybe your one of the inviters or people who plan things and keep people togeather not a bad thing. if your friends and togeather and happy and noones leaving you out or ignoring you then what does it matter. another possibility is if your quiet or put up walls easily then maybe they feel uncomfortable asking you or like their begging you to come...personally i dont think its a big deal as long as you know who your friends are and arent. as long as its positive and your all togeather having a good time.
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Hi. i was just wondering if anyone knew a website where i could find cute, colorful, playful dresses. There is a dance next month where you are supposed to dress up and stuff. ha. i have already looked in jcpenny and macys and mandees. thank you =] (link)
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here are a whole bunch of websites all of them with diffrent styles
this ones the cheapest
http://www.bodyc.com/catalog/Dresses/ac80686223a45308a1b0c07d24a22034?page=all
http://www.fredericks.com/category.asp?catalog%5Fname=Holiday2002&category%5Fname=Clothing-Dresses&Page=1
this ones the most colorful
http://www.geneccentric.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=5
http://store.delias.com/browse.do?categoryID=424&sidenavTrack=apparel.dresses
http://store.alloy.com/browse.do?categoryID=11&sidenavTrack=apparel.dresses
http://www2.victoriassecret.com/collection/?cgname=OSCLODRSVIL&cgnbr=OSCLODRSVIL&rfnbr=2667
http://www.newport-news.com/shop/thumbnail.aspx?gp_coll_id=9&gp_cat_id=1649&nav_cat_id=1686&category_id=7660
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First of all, I'm 18 and if you're going to tell me I'm too young to get married don't bother answering. I'm very mature for my age and my fiance (Eric) and I have been together since we were 14 and 17. Anyways, Eric proposed to me in March of 2006. He is in the Navy, and he is living in Virginia. Right now, I'm still living in Michigan. I'm moving down to live with him in May. On June 9th we were planning to go to the Jusice of Peace and elope. We're doing this so that we can save our basic housing money (from being married) to spend on our cerimonial wedding that we plan on having on virginia beach sometime in august 2008. This is the wedding all our friends and family will attend.
The only problem, is that my mother is going psycho on me and keeps telling me not to get married. She says I'm too young, and that I'm going to ruin my life. She also says if we go toa Justice of Peace and get married she wont pay for ANYTHING for our cerimonial wedding next year, because she feels people should only get married one time.
Now I'm in a sticky situation. I really want to get married this summer so I can afford things easier and I know I should follow my heart; but I don't want to ruin my relationship with my mom. I KNOW I'm going to marry Eric, I couldn't picture my life without him.. I just wish my mom could see that and that she could see how happy we make eachother and accept our choices. What do you think I should do?! =( (link)
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first of all your an adult so i would hope that you would be mature and its your life and really noone elses business what you do. who are they? if you want to get married you should do it your mom will eventually accept it and get over it. but you might have to hold off on the second marriage or pick up an extra job and pay for it your self. since your a mature adult which i 100% agree with that you should be able to pay for what you want and take care of what you need.when you do that then people might reconize you more as an adult when your taking care of your own business and you might get more support. if it was me i would just not care what anyone thinks because theyre just being negative and why should you base your life on their opinion. but if you want to get married now which i see no problem with then you might have to put off the second wedding until you can afford it ,do it somewhere else thats cheaper, or pick up an extra job or two so you can afford it.i dont think you should let your mothers difficulties interfere with your decision if that is whats going to make you truly happy then so it be her own issue. you shouldnt be scared of how someones going to act towards you when it comes to making your own personal decision that really doesnt effect them.but it is your mothers choice not to pay anything and your going to have to respect that if your going to do things your way.if your mom lets this ruin you twos relationship then thats her loss because its not hurting anyone and its your life not your moms or anyone elses. ever heard the saying if you want something done you gotta do it your self..well that might be the case...personally i think thats the best way to do something..that way noone can say their entitled to imput in your life. if you and your mom are close and love eachotherthen it shouldnt do any damage to your relationship that cant be repaired.
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I'm making fortune cookies, among other things, for my boyfriend for valentines day, but I can't think of any "fortunes!"
So, any "fortune" ideas? or websites with "fortunes" on them? I'm really stumped!
Thanks! (link)
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heres some things you could put in the cookies as fortunes
http://www.useful-information.info/quotations/love_quotes.html
http://quotations.about.com/cs/lovequotes/a/bls_Love_Quotes.htm
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/8
http://www.boardofwisdom.com/default.asp?topic=1005&listname=Love
if you need more i typed in lists of love quotes.
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its okay to cut the hair 'down there' right with just like a siccors once a month or so because i'm scared to shave "there" (link)
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its ok just be very careful. you can still shave some o the by just holding a clump of hair just like you would with scissors and then kind of saw it off with a razor...but yeah scissir will work to as long as theyre on the small side and you watch what your doing closely im sure it will be fine.
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I have two best friends and now everything is changing between us. We all three have boyfriends. Amy is always like her boyfriend and I never get to hang out with her anymore and when we actually do get to talk it's always about her boyfriend. Andrea, my other best friend is not as bad its just I dont want to lose them. My boyfriend seems to be not interested in me or something. He never calls me to hang out and then always has an excuse. He would rather play videeo games, or cheat on me I guess. (he is known for cheating). But I dont know what to do because if I break up with him then I will be by myself at school with no one to talk to because my friends will be with there boyfriends. (link)
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you should never choose to stay in a relationship because your scared. im asuming this is probably new do you guys and think that your friends are just overwhelmed by having a boyfriend.boyfriends come and go but if your friends are really your friends then you wont lose them. if you really think this guy is cheating on you then break up with him its for the better and really not worth it and youll find and go through other guys and eventually find the right one.it just might take some time and digging but not having a boy friend isnt a big deal. its better to be single and happy then taken and unsatisfied and having to worry if that persons cheating on you.maybe you should suggest to your friends that you guys just go somewhere with anyone if they decline tell them how you feel. you might have to find other people to occupy your time while they go through this phase.it doesnt mean break away from them but it doesnt hurt to talk to other people to and to make new friends while keeping your old ones.
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This'll be long,but i really need help.for the past about,4 or 5 days, i've been REALLY out of it. im not focused at ALL. and when i am i cant think of anything to talk about,nothing,i dont think of any fun memories or anything.Right after i think of something to write down or to do,i'll forget,and it happens way too much.i havent had anything like this in the past,itsnot stress,its not lack of sleep.Im compleatly bored. I cant even think right now when im typeing this,its really hard. it takes forever to get things threw. Sometimes for 5 mins. i'll just stare off into space thinking of absolutly nothing. then i'll come back to reality and do nothing.i feel like a walking doll. Its really hard to explain. and also,i can barely smell anything,only if its up close. people might say "oh it smells nasty!" or "mmm i smell muffins",and everyone can smell it but i cant. its just very faint. I feel like something isnt connecting,i just cant think,no matter how much i try.I cant focus. When im reading i'll stop and pause for a long time for no reason,come back and read the sentance again,and its hard to focus on the texted books like the black print on white paper. I feel like im loosing my personality.And sometimes my eyes will create tears for no reason,and it makes me sad. Has anyone had this? Should i see a doctor? im only 13...and i told my mom,she thinks its nothing. Could you possibly tell me what this is? I feel so down right now,anything will help. thanks. (link)
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if nothings happened to make you feel this way and it persists for more then a week then maybe you do need a doctor if it gets anymore serious. or maybe your just not on the right track to happiness maybe you need to change your habbits or find new hobbies and interest you enjoy.try to sit down and think about what you really want thats positive and what makes you truly happy. as for the sense of smell maybe your nose is stuffed up.
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