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Am I a Bad friend?
Ok so i told my best friend that if she starts "talking" or going back out with a guy named Jay that i wouldnt talk to her anymore.
And the reason i told her that is because for one, he is rude to me and is an asshole to me.
2nd reason is when jay and my best friend went out they fought almost EVERY day and when i tried to have a conversation with her, ALL SHE WOULD TALK ABOUT WAS THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.. about how they fight abt the same thing. and i got sick of it.
Third reason is that he changed her attitude towards me and more importantly her parents.. he would get mad that she couldnt hang out like everyday (because she has strict parents) and so like he would make her go ask her parents then she would just end up gettin in a fight with her parents bcause she wanted to hang out with him. (and this happen almost every day too)
4th reason, they only knew each other like a week or two and he kept tryin to do stuff with her and she wouldnt.. and he WOULD get soo mad and start a fight about it almost every time they hung out bcause she wouldnt ever mess around.
anyways i confronted her about all this and finally i sayd well if you want to go back out with him then DONT TALK ABOUT HIM AROUND ME... and seriously i dont want her goin back out with him because i know its goin to end up the same way.. but i want to know if i am doing the right thing and if i am not.. then what should i do and what should i tell her?
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Hey. This guy sounds like a complete jerk and I completely agree with you first of all. You're being a nice friend for caring about her this much. Rather than tell her "I'm not going to talk to you if you go out with this guy" explain to her the reasons that you told Advicenators rather than acting angry about it. This way she won't think you're jealous or something or she may go out with him on purpose if you act like you're restricting her. Tell her that you really think this guy is hurting her relationship with her parents and her friends (you). Also tell her that this guy is hurting her too for making her do things she doesn't want to do. Just tell her that you're really looking out for her and that if this is what it takes you'll find her a really nice new guy to go out with. This way she will feel less paranoid all the time about hanging out with you and being with her family. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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You're honestly not a bad friend. But, I wouldn't stop being friends with her just because the guys a jerk & he's rude to you. Honestly, if going out with this guy makes your friend happy, I'd allow it. If he ends up doing the same thing as last time, don't tell her you told her so, but tell her that she should end it. As her best friend, she needs all the support she can get. And right now, you're not giving her that.
♥T!NA
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don't stop being friends but don't sympathize with her anymore either. if she goes out with this guy and they fight you get to say two things to her
1. I told you so.
2. So why don't you dump him then.
that's all you say on the subject, everytime she talks about him say one of those things and she will get the picture.
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your not a bad friend you just want you and your friend to be treated with respect. youve said what you can to help her but the reality is its her life to live however she wants.just stick by her. i know its kindof painful and annoying watching some one make bad decisions but you cant control another person even if it is in their best interest you just got to stay by her side with out getting caught up in it.at least your honest about it.
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i think you are doing the right thing. you should tell her why you don`t want them going out. remind her about all the fights they had and how he wanted to do stuff she wouldn`t do. tell her that it`s for her own good. but don`t come straight out and say "you can`t go out with him", this might tempt her to go out with him more. instead just tell her why you don`t want her to and that it`s a really bad idea and that you don`t want to have anything to do with it.
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