Gender:
FemaleOccupation:
PsychologistAge:
36Member Since:
June 29, 2011Answers:
263Last Update:
May 5, 2019Visitors:
17060Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Job Searches
Adoption
View All
about
< I am a Christian and I am a mother >Hello all. I am a 36 year old married mother of three boys. I have my degree in Forensic psychology and business management- human resources, I work in social services while juggling my three children and a marriage. When I originally joined this community I was excited to get back into what I love and that is helping people through listening, understanding, and guidance. However I quickly found that through my desire to help others, others are helping me. I have found my advice column beyond rewarding. I have found myself getting extremely passionate about each and every question that I read and respond to. The more the questions the greater the connection I have found between people of all walks of life, ages groups, races, gender, and religion. What I have found to be our greatest bind is love. Love for others and the love of being loved.
advice
After 19 years My mother told me who my real father was 2 weeks ago and then she told me that he dosnt know that im his child. He is married now with a child, and owns a store so when i go in there and see him he talks to me and thinks im his ex girlfriends daughter but he dosnt know im his daughter to. So i dont know what to do my mother said do not tell him but i want him to know, i want to get to know him better. Do i tell him im his daughter?
I wouldn't tell him. Based on personal experience meeting biological parents rarely works out well. It's just a weird relationship that makes no sense. What I mean is this guy is your father so he's not in your age group so you won't have a lot in common and then he's not really your father because you don't actually know one another in a father daughter relationship so what do you have??? A friendship based really on nothing. I would chop it up as just a guy that once dated your mom. If I could go back I would have never met my biological father. I wish I never had. THis is often the case with meeting parents. No telling what negativity may come out of this. Anger towards your mom, guilt, resentment, and whole number of things you may not want to deal with at this point.
Best friend is breaking my heart
I had a seven plus year gay relationship with my best friend in secret until recently as we have just broke up. What we had was 'friends w/benefits' which went exclusive. He is an extremely selfish person and gets tunnel vision with what he wants but he never used that side of him with me...yet. He didn't keep to the 'exclusive' bit and cheated, he then wanted to end the benefits with me and go be with a girl he was sleeping with. I wasn't too bothered about ending the benefits side but it was killing me just how much he had damaged our close relationship (as in the friends side of it) to get what he wanted. He said he really wants to be with her, but I know that that would be super arkward and painful for me at this point so I told him he would have to choose to either be with her knowing that it would be too much for me due to how they got together or to stop slowly destroying our friendship which spans 8 years of being really close best friends and try and rebuild the trust, respect, loyalty etc, which he broke. He has since choose to fix our friendship but he seems really distant, like he has no feelings of any kind towards me and doesn't seem eager to get back our friendship. It has devastated me watching as he stands by doing very little, when our friendship is hanging on by a thread and all he has to do is be himself, my best friend, not acting like we don't know each other. He thinks he can be with her and sort it with me at the same time but to me that's fair on me as due to his selfishness he will not sort us out he will just focus on her and that would make me feel really betrayed and things toward him, after he has sorted us out he can please himself. I love him and would never hurt him or see him hurting but he doesn't seem as though he cares about me or how bad I'm hurting or what's happening to our friendship, he just seems to care about the girl he wanted, when he could get whoever at a later date when we are sorted.
I just want my best friend back, I miss him so so much but he doesn't seem to care, I'm so depressed and can't stop the tears from flowing when I think of how close he was to how distant he acts with me now.
Please any advice for me or my friend would help thanks for listening.
It seems to me as if you want to sort out your issues as ex-lovers rather than friends. You hit the nail on the head when you said he was extremely selfish and had tunnel vision. It was only a matter of time before his colors showed true towards you. Sounds like he is the same person he has always been but it's you that expects him to act differently than you already know him to be. One thing I've learned throughout my life is that friends are very seasonal. Just as fashion, oneday you're in the next day you're out. It's time you loved yourself and moved on. Your friend had no problems moving on and being happy else where now it's your turn to look in the mirror and see how much you are worth and find a friend that sees the same in you. YOur trust has been broken so even if you work things out there is only a matter of time before your heart is broken again. I know it isn't easy but you will find happiness again. This time next year you'll probably wonder what the hell you were ever worried about. THe reality is, if he is acting like he doesn't care it's probably because he doesn't. The longer you hang on to all the negativity and the what ifs and the sorting things out the longer you put off finding happiness. Why does he deserve another chance at friendship with you? Aren't you worth more than convience and lies? Hold your head up and be strong and be happy. I'm willing to bet the moment you seem over him and happy else where he will pop right back in the picture. Good luck
Basically, im a 16 year old girl who one night decided to go to a party that my mom did not know about. I told her i was staying at a friends and ended up stranded, so i stayed at a boys house with a few of his football friends. I ended up getting really drunk and one of the boys, who i do not know, forced me onto the sofa, unbuttoned my trousers and fingered me against my will. I tried everything to get him off but i was too drunk so i started to cry, he then said if i tell everyone hes going to start rumours about me. What do i do?
Try to get him to repeat what he has said about starting rumors either record his voice somehow or see if he will email or FB his plans if you were to tell someone and then set him up and all those responsible. This is terrible what has happened to you. You don't deserve any of this and these people should be in jail for a long time. This probably wasn't the first time he's done something like this but you have the power to see that it's the last. Save all texts and emails you get from anyone at the house that night. Get all the info about this guy. He is disgusting! I am so angry right now I practically shaking wishing I could get my hands on this mFer! Definately report what happened don't wait any longer please. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please be safe in the future.
Hey. Im jasmine and im 15 im a sophomore in highschool i lost my virginity last year as a freshman and ill be honest i didnt use protection. as a result i didnt get pregnant at all as many times as me and my bf dont use them the last time i had sex was roughly 8 months ago ive been tested and im clean. one question am i lucky ??or what?? answer??
Please don't worry yourself about this and start using protection. 15 is too young to start a family. It is extremely hard and you will be very unhappy losing your childhood to raise another child. I'm married and almost 32 and I promise you that pregnancy, labor and the early years of raising children is the hardest job physically, mentally, and emotionally one will ever have to go through. Don't live on your past luck because it can and most likely will run out. Give yourself the best start possible PLEASE. I'm sure you and your boyfriend are just fine physically and I wouldn't worry about having yet to get pregnant. Being very young your body just may not be ready to carry a child.
I've been a Wiccan for a little over a year and been with my boyfriend a little under a year. I really want to tell him about my religion but I'm scared that he'll dump me because I'm not Christian, or try to change my mind. I love my boyfriend to death and I want him to accept me for who I am. I'm just scared to tell him. What should I do? He's a Methodist by the way. Should I be wary when I tell him? Please help.
If he is a true Christian he will have to let you go. His love for Christ and ultimate eternal life must outweigh his love for you. Perhaps when you express your beliefs he will express his and you will have a change of heart.
My girlfriend lied to me about her going to the mall and going to her college! Well she was suppose to go her college to go get her books but instead she went to the mall but rele she was suppose to go to edison.. she's grounded and isn't allowed to do anything and I feel that she lied to me! But rele she didn't want me to know she went to the mall bc ishe thought I would think and accuse her of not really being grounded! And I do get mad about that, I'm trying not to think of it as a major lie bc she was telling the truth that she did have to go to college to get her books and go to the mall to return an item! She just thought it would be okay to lie to me to prevent me from getting mad and accusing her of this! If I was in her situation then I guess I would understand! Could you give me your opinion, you helped me out on my last post so I thought you could help me again
Either there is more to the situation that you are not explaning or you are making a big deal out of nothing. If the situation is just as you said then it seems you are trying to have relationship issues. Allow your girlfriend to be who she is and perhaps she won't feel the need to lie or get around the truth. However, if you are worried about something this small it makes me feel as if you don't trust her at all. Do you have a reason not to trust her? Does she lie a lot. Do you suspect her of meeting up with another guy and making the whole grounded story up?
Im a 24 yr old female and ive worked for a security company for 7 months now. my boss is a 28 yr old male. Since ive started, my co workers tell me that im the only one he talks to about non work related things. He always tries to make me laugh and people say they feel chemestry when we r talking. on new yrs eve i ran into him at a bar at midnight and we ended up talking for over an hour until we were kicked off the patio due to bar close. the next day at work he came up to me very smiley and embaresed and asked how big of an ass did he make of himself. followed by hes worried about what i thought of him after that. he was worried because he felt he kept me there cuz he kept blabbing. for him to come out as everyone left the area and say "im more worried about what u thought of me" is like whoa! i no im an adult but secretly i have had the hots for him but avaiod relationships at work. we are very professional people but the feelings cant be stopped im starting to think. So would this mean he is interested in me and tried to hint it to me?
Sounds like he is defiantely interested in you but you two should decide if you want to keep your jobs. Usually these kinds of situations don't end well. Other co-workers will become jealous especially if you are getting special treatment. When a raise or promotion comes up the questions will rise rather or not you deserve it or just getting it because of the boss. Or on the flips side if anything happens negatively between the two of you, you or he may risk losing your jobs or perhaps just the mention of the relationship may cause him to get fired. Be careful.
18/f I just had a baby 4 weeks ago I breastfeed & it's so stressful & tiring at times. I don't ever feel like doing anything. I don't want to shower, brush my teeth, talk on the phone, go downstairs to get food or anything. I feel sooo lazy. I don't know what the problem is. I see & feel myself being lazy but I don't change it. Or I say I am & I don't do anything about it. I feel like so lost I feel like life has stopped for me now. I feel so weird & different. Idk how to deal with being a teen mom now it is hitting me I will never be normal. Idk what's my problem .
You are completely normal. Pregnancy, labor and caring for a newborn is the single most difficult thing anyone can do. Your hormones for one are trying to get back to normal and since you are breastfeeding it's going to be awhile. You get no sleep and no breaks, no days off just go go go. Your whole world is about another little soul and everyone talks about the baby and not you. It will get better I promise but it will be awhile. I have a 1,2, and 4 year old boys that DRIVE ME CRAZY. My 1 year old is almost two and I am finally able to sleep through the night. I am getting where I want to dress up and look nice again finaly but I'm still not the same persona as before. It is hard don't let anyone tell you differently. Until someone is in your shoes they won't understand. Take it easy on yourself. Sleep every second you get. Take long hot baths but try and workout as soon as you are all healed up. That helped me a lot! You are not lazy you are exhausted! Hang in there I promise things will get easier :)
What kind of man decides to be a gynocologist?
A lot of men decide to go into the gynocology field for a number of reasons. Perhaps some have known a friend or family member who have suffered from cervical cancer or they may be very passionate about the treatment of women concerns as it relates to pregnancy or seeing out the health of an unborn child. It is a respectable career choice and it takes a trmendous about of work and determination to get to that point.
I've been talking to this guy but lately he's put me on the burner saying he doesn't want to cheat on his girl. But there are times where he acts interested all over again, and there are times where he won't text or barely flirt with me. Is he just lying to himself or is he really over it?
Sounds like he is a good guy trying to do right by his girlfriend and respect his relationship as you should. If he is really interested in you he will end his other relationship before starting something new. If he cheats on his current girl with you he will definately cheat on you with someone else if you two ever get together. Would you really want to be with someone who could disregard the feelings of others so easily? I would advise you to find a single guy rather than going after someone who has already told you he doesn't want to cheat on his girlfriend.
This month I started my period too early. Is there any reason for this? It's suppose to be every 28 days and there was only 19 days this time. I was only off my period for about 12 days, so this sucks. I just want to know if there's a reason why.
Stress can play a huge factor in your cycle as well as weight loss. Extreme excersize can also affect your cycle. Pregnancy is also a reason for an early "period". During the first trimester of pregnancy it is not unusual to have what seems to be a period. If this is a possibility then you may want to take a test. If you are on birth control and you have recently been on medications that affect the birth control this may also affect your period cycle.
My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year and a half now and all of a sudden he's been asking me to send him naked pictures of myself. I hate my body and I'm extremely insecure, so I just don't feel comfortable doing it. So I told him that but he just gets mad and keeps asking, and now he's starting to use it against me. Should I send him the pictures to just shut him up? Or what?
NO!! Never send naked pictures to anyone for any reason. The pictures don't stop when they get to that person- they are out there forever and you have no way of knowing who might end up with them. If you are under 18 it is against the law anyway. Do yourself a favor keep your self respect and know that you are worth more than what this guy is trying to pressure you into doing. He doesn't deserve to see you in that way and quite honestly I would reevaluate the relationship and consider leaving him altogether. You need someone who respects you enough to never even ask such a question. Regardless of how you view your body it is special and belongs to you. THere's plenty of girls out there willing to show it all- they can't possibly feel too good about themselves. And it you do this how will you feel always wondering who the pictures might get back to? DO NOT DO IT!!!
15|f Well this week i had to stay after school to do some extra credit for my advanced english class and some other girls and guys were staying after also but when i walked in there was this older boy in there and i was like oh? And my teacher was like this is brian he will help you if you need it and so i said ok. Well i was just kinda thinking hes kinda cute(hes in his first year of college)for an older guy. Well i sat down and starting workimg like normal but i started to feel shy and nervous. And like a couple of minutes later he came up to and asked me if i need needed help and it was so embareasing my voice kinda broke and i was like no thank you i was sonembarrased so after a while a just felt so nervous i walked out. Well I came back again the next day and he was there again and i was like oh snap. And i became nervous and my face turned red and i even forgot what i was doing! I dont know why,? ive never felt like that with guys ive liked or have crushes on before even whem i met a famous person once i didmt act like tht, it was so weird. But anyway when i finally sat down he came oveerr and smiled and he said are you having any trouble and i was like umm no thanks. And looked back down at my paper and i sware from that moment he stood two steps back from my desk and stared at me for the whole time!!! And i was just sitting there face red palm sweating about to cry. Finally my teacher said we could leave so i hurried amd left. When i got out in my car i couldnt even talk to my mom my voice kept cracking and i couldnt even talk and my mom was like whats wrong and i told her the story about how i thought he was cute and that he litteraly stood two steps back from my desk and stared at me the whole time. Then my mom said he may like you, and i was like oh my gosh! but hes in his first year of college and then my mom said so?. I was shocked! So why do u think i acted\am actimg so weird do u think he coukd possibly like me im so confused from how i acted because ive never acted liked that before not even with boys my age i really liked so please help thanks a bunch:D
Obviously you have a huge crush on him and he may be interested in you or perhaps he can tell you are really into him because you appear so nervous but you should really let this feeling go. Lets say he is interested in you; wouldn't you wonder whats wrong with a guy whos probably 18 or 19 in college interested in a 15 year old girl? He's got serious problems and you really don't need to be apart of that. Who else's eye has he caught wouldn't you wonder. Forget about him and focus on your school work.
my dog at a chocolate
peanut butter m and m what do i do?
Your dog should be just fine.
17/f
I am a senior in high school and in march my boyfriend and I are going to get a place together. He is 23, makes 10.00 and hr. I make 8.00 an hr. The job I have (a local pizza place) well honestly sucks. The manager only make 9.00 an hour so I am pretty sure I don't have enough room to grow there. I do not want my boyfriend to be the one paying all the bills and we do not want to live paycheck-to-paycheck.I want to stay away from fast food jobs and jobs where I stand in one spot(I get dizzy) What can I do to provide an income for us?
YOu need to stay in school and go to college. Enjoy life because you will not be happy with the road you think you want to take. Believe me it is HARD out here. Even with a college degree jobs are hard to come by especially good paying ones. Focus on your education and enjoying life. If you can stay at home please do. There is so much out there for you to experience don't shut down your opportunities so soon. Go away to college and find out what life has to offer. Encourage your boyfiend to attend as well. A couple that both have their college degree will be much happier in the long ruin and life will be much easier than two people struggling just to put food on the table. While the idea of moving in and being together for ever sounds great it just doesn't work that way. Before you know it you may be pregnant stuck at home while he's out there trying to support three or more on $10 an hour. Finacial problems will easily destroy your relationship. Give you and your future a great start by focusing on education and knowing who you are before jumping into something you have no idea about.
Is everyone telling you to stay home???? There's a reason for that. We KNOW what we are talking about. You think you are depressed now. When you are broke at home alone with babies, no friends and a boyfriend you argue with everyday you will understand depressed and wish you had listened. Good luck :)
My hair is super dry at the ends. I really don't want to get it cut because it's like three inches and I'm trying to grow it out. I don't have any split ends or damage other than the dryness so it really doesnt seem like I should have to cut it all off. I don't know what else to do though! I've tried moisture serums, deep conditioners, jojoba oil, leave in conditioner cream, and I've even started taking the one a day supplements just in case it was malnourished. I think I take pretty good care of my hair, it gets a lot of sun and salt during summer, and I style it with heat every few weeks, but I always use protecting products and I always get my split ends cut off. Any suggestions?
Nothing you put on your hair will help your hair other than the way it looks for that day. You need to buy a vitamin supplement called hair, nails, and skin or any kind with about 2500 mcg of biotin. Your hair will grow faster and healthier and even longer as the growing phase will last longer.
After you use it for about two months I would trim it up again just to get the split ends off one last time but since it's so short hold off until you get some new growth. Also use Redkin shampoo and conditioner or the more expensive hair products. The cheap ones dry your hair off. You want the least amount of SODIUM LAURETH SULFATE it is BAD for your hair. If the second ingrediate on the shampoo bottle is that stuff don't buy it. The more expensive hair products may still have some but not nearly as much. Sun and salt are not great for the hair either. Just some side info. A lot of fake hair that is sold in the stores is from the middle east countries. The women there cover their hair when they leave their homes and they have very long very healthy hair and they even grow it out just to sell to American's, so don't give it too much sun.
Ok I need to have this book by tomorrow and it called American Red Cross First Aid/CPR/AED Participants manual and I DON'T want to buy it online i WANT to buy it at a store like a bookstore buy just cant find anywhere around were i live. thanks in advance.
Have you tried contacting the Red Cross themselves?
Hello..
My hair is really wavy and thick, and I don't know what I should do to keep it tame. I don't like to straighten my hair, because I don't want to damage it, plus I'm planning on growing my hair really long.
I've put my hair up, and it helped some..but instead of it being wavy it's frizzy -_- So either way, it doesn't help. I've thinned my hair to..but it doesn't seem to look any better.. my hair's just wavy & thick..not curly but wavy.
I use this Pantene beautiful lengths mask? Nd it's suppose to help with the split ends to grow the hair out longer.. It also makes my hair soft..but I really hate my wavy hair :/
Any ideas?
Check out this website http://www.mixedchicks.net/
I'm not sure what race you are but these products work great for mixed race hair as well as any other hair. As a mixed person myself I can tell you the struggles I've been through trying to have nice wavy or curly hair minus all the friz. Until I found out about this nothing else seemed to work well unless the weather was just perfect. Try it out and let me know how it works. Please don't over heat, color or thin out your hair again. As you age it will think naturally and you will wish it wouldn't. Enjoy and love your hair because I bet everyone is envious of you. To grow it out and stop split ends try a vitamin supplement for hair nails and skin. It must contain a high percentage of BIOTIN. Thats the stuff that grows hair. I used it for only a month and my hair grew sOOOO fast. Good luck ;)
So I'm going to be turning 17 in a month. The last time I had a birthday party, I was turning 14.
I have no idea what I should do for it. I want to have a lot of friends over. I could just play music but there isn't much to do at my house.
Last time I had a trampoline and a wii that kept people occupied but now we don't really have anything.
I mean all I know is music and food.
So have any ideas to help?
I have a great idea! If it's still warm outside you should have a bunch of people come over at night. You all should fill up a whole bunch of water ballons and get some water guns and anything else water fun and have a water fight when it gets kinda dusk dawn into the night. This would be a lot of fun at night at a safe park/ playground where you guys could slide and remember the the funny times as a kid.
Maybe you could have like a movie marathon and make snacks that pertain to the movie and even dress up like one of the characters.
It hurts me wen my girlfriend dont tell me the small things like when her son started school or what she did on her day off/ I am not psycho I just wanna be able to communicate since shes 3 hours away. Gut recently its got tot he point where shes had trouble with her blood sugar and geting dizzy and she didnt tell me. It hurt and it caused an arguement and I said really hurtful things, and I hurt her and shes upse with me. What should I do?
First I would apologize for the unkind and hurtful words and let her know you were just upset and it won't happen again. Next I would explain why you were so upset and that you feel this way simply because you care and love her so much. Tell her if you didn't love her you wouldn't care what was going on in her life and because you are so far away conversation and details of each day really is the key to keeping up a long distance relationship.
I wonder is perhaps she just doesn't want to worry you or perhaps she thinks you aren't interested in certain deatils of her life. I'm not sure how old the two of you and rather or not you have children. But as a 31 year old mother at times I'm so extremely busy keeping up with the kids that I don't have time or energy to put forth on other things. She may be in the same postion but that doesn't make it right. If she wishes to be in a relationship especially a long distant one she needs to recognize the importance of communication. I don't think she is treating you fair in this way.
Sadly, I must say long distant relationships don't usually work out. I hope yours does or that you are able to move to the same area real soon. Good luck :)