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My girlfriend lied to me... so I wouldn't get mad at her for lying to me?
My girlfriend lied to me about her going to the mall and going to her college! Well she was suppose to go her college to go get her books but instead she went to the mall but rele she was suppose to go to edison.. she's grounded and isn't allowed to do anything and I feel that she lied to me! But rele she didn't want me to know she went to the mall bc ishe thought I would think and accuse her of not really being grounded! And I do get mad about that, I'm trying not to think of it as a major lie bc she was telling the truth that she did have to go to college to get her books and go to the mall to return an item! She just thought it would be okay to lie to me to prevent me from getting mad and accusing her of this! If I was in her situation then I guess I would understand! Could you give me your opinion, you helped me out on my last post so I thought you could help me again
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The key here, and what really irritates me about the first answer given, is that a lie is a lie.
Big lies, little lies... if someone feels the need to lie to you, something is broken. Someone answering you and telling you that her lying to you is an issue on your part just boggles my mind.
The mall, and all of this is unimportant. The point is that she lied to you because she didn't want you to accuse her of lying? Hello? Anyone listening?
She feels compelled to lie to you.
Whatever the reason, this needs to get fixed, or you two aren't going to work out.
Perhaps you are an overbearing control freak and she hates being with you? If she feels that way about you, then end the relationship. If there is truth to this, then fix yourself and be healthy for the next relationship you get into.
If this is all in her head, then write her off as someone who likes to play mind games, and get out while you can.
People who lie about little things, have a tendency to use it as a license, if you let them get away with it, to lie about bigger things... since they know they can get away with it.
Gently ask her to talk this out with you. If you find out she was just lying because she felt like it, there is no future with her.
I have lived through this, and it is a constant nightmare trying to figure out what is true and what is made up. Best not to have to deal with all that needless drama, right?
Get out before you fall in love and spend the rest of your life making excuses for her bad behaviours.
If you want to try and make it work, then find out if she is interested in seeing a relationship counselor with you.
If she says no, then you should still go on your own and talk this out with a professional. If this is an issue that is all in your head, and she hasn't really been out of line (possible if you haven't told us everything here) then you are going to need help working through these things on your own before you are ready to be in ANY relationship.
No matter what you do... don't ignore the small warning signs. Sometimes those are the only warnings we get.
Good luck.
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Either there is more to the situation that you are not explaning or you are making a big deal out of nothing. If the situation is just as you said then it seems you are trying to have relationship issues. Allow your girlfriend to be who she is and perhaps she won't feel the need to lie or get around the truth. However, if you are worried about something this small it makes me feel as if you don't trust her at all. Do you have a reason not to trust her? Does she lie a lot. Do you suspect her of meeting up with another guy and making the whole grounded story up?
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