i have a really close friendship with two girls at my school. but thats about it. i want other friends. i mean i love my friends to death but i feel like thats all i have when we get in fights or when we just get tired of each other im stuck doing nothing because i have no one. there are some girls that i talk to and its not that they dont like me (not too many people hate me)i dont know what to do to have a better friendship with them.
also when older boys come and talk to me i freeze up.i have to idea what to say, though i would do anything for them to be friends with me. (who doesnt want older more mature boys to be freinds with them) with the freshman boys its not as big of deal though. basically i have no people skills ha. so yea please help me out! thank you in advace
You sound exactly like I used to be. If I had friends it was because the other person initiated the friendship. Now, however, if I walk into a place, rarely do I walk out without meeting a thousand people. What are some of your hobbies? What do you like to do? Use these things to meet other people. My 'bait' was shooting pool and football..two of my favorite things in the world. I used these things to start conversation.
You are still in school right? Try going to some of your schools sports games (football, basketball, etc).
You have to put yourself out there. I don't think it's that you don't have "people skills", you are just shy and the people skills have not showed themselves yet. More than anything I think it is FOR (fear of rejection). Until you get over this fear you'll never get far. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself (this is the first step). Be silly, have fun, have confidence and show that you do...this attracts people like you'd never believe. Good luck girl and sorry so long =)
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Okay, so there is this boy named Stephen. He's a total goof, but there is something about him that makes me like him so much. This is the first boy I've liked since my long-term ex boyfriend dumped me one year ago, so this is relatively new again. Stephen and I are deffinetly friends, not best friends, but friends! He has so many girl-bestfriends though, and he always flirts with them. I'm not really jealous because I really don't think that he likes any of them. Stephen and I talk sometimes and flirt sometimes too. We hug occationally, but this is no different then what he does with other girls. I need to make my flirting different. I want this boy so bad. What do I do? I need advice!!!
Alright baby girl...swallow your pride and tell him how you feel. Guys aren't good at "making the first move" so if you don't, nobody will. Before you do anything make sure you are comfortable with his friends and the way he acts around them. This is him..this is his personality..he's a flirt. Can you handle that?! If so, I say go for it. Worse case scenario you end up with an even more 'flirty' friend =). I hope all works out with you, but make sure you accept the way he is around other girls first. Don't put yourself out there if you think you'll just back down anyway. Good luck girl!
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i'm tryin to get over my first and im doing a very good job but he can do the the darnest things like give me this humgous hug or like yesterday tell me he has to talk to me about something but then in school today he didint say anything about what he wanted to tell me face to face
help me on trying to keep him off my mind some ideas maybe
And I introduce to you the no contact calender =). I know it isn't easy, but you have to try and cut contact with this guy. What he is doing is keeping you close. As long as he keeps you thinking about him, he can move on while you find it hard. You can be friends with him eventually, but you need to wait until that "want" for him is gone! I know it's easier said than done, but other than a passing hello I think you should hang with a circle of friends that does not include him. I wish you the best of luck dear!
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My parents are fighting. They are not considering a divorce but one in a while they just go at each other. It's really sad and since i am the oldest i want to do something about it. My little sisters get sad and cry when they fight and i want to help them. What can i do to make them realize what they are doing wrong? They both blame each other for things but truthfully it is always equally both their fault! I really need some good advice. Please don't give me the "talk to them" answer because right know i don't want to start anything else. Please help me. I really want to fix this becuase everytime they fight it bring up all these past things from like 15 years ago! Who cares about those things! Please help me. (sorry if this is long, i just feel very unstable and sad right now).
It's almost depressing when the 16 year old daughter becomes the adult..I know you don't want to "talk" to them, but as said below you can write them a letter. They can walk away when you are talking to them, but once it's in writing they HAVE to read it. Tell them that they are truly affecting you and your siblings. If you don't want to write to them, write a journal entry about it, leave the book open. Let them "accidently" read it. Do whatever it takes to get the point across. For your sake and for the sake of your siblings I hope that they straighten up their act. Your brothers and sisters are great to have such a wonderful big sister!
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my very, very best friend just told me she cuts herself and that her mom is abusive. her parents divorced this summer and thats when she started. she lied to me about a big mark on her arm and i knew she was upset so later i asked her if it was her mom again. she and her mom have had tons of fights but i never knew how badly her mom treated her. and i had never guessed about the cutting. i have cut myself but only a few times and i stopped and i still somewhat struggle with self-injuring (i pinch myself occasionally) but im fine now. but her mom through her out of the house for like 45 min she was out in the cold rain. and her mom has hit her with shoes and pulled her hair and yells at her and tells her shes a horrible person. her mom never makes time for her and is always working or with her new boyfriend. my friend hates her moms new bf because he takes all her moms time away. she tries to talk to her mom but she never understands and just yells at her. she goes to church with me and is trying so hard to be a good Christian and her mom knows that so she was telling her she doesnt have God and isnt a Christian and that shes a terrible person and hits her and stuff. she lives with her dad a lot but still her mom just as often but i told her she lives in an abusive place (with her mom) and shes probably going to just stay with her dad.
i know her mom needs help but who should she tell because we're only 14 and i know her mom is abusive and everything but idk what to do about it. i think she should tell her dad tho right? and she sees a physciatrist and told her mom about the cutting but her mom acts like she doesnt care. her mom like has took everything of hers away and one time took all her clothes except a tshirt and shorts and said thats all she got for like a month and stuff like that. can people just please tell me the process of what she needs to do to get away from her mom and get her mom help? and im helping my bff and she said she will call me whenever she wants to cut and shes upset and she only cuts when her mom is screaming at her and they have fought and stuff. please help me this is so important and i love my bff so, so, so much. thank you more than you can imagine
btw i d k if i said this but her parents are divorced and she likes being with her dad and she has a younger brother whos ten but he never gets yelled at really or hit or anything. also she has thought of suicide and once got pills and really wanted too but then thought of her dad and friends and brother so she didnt. Thank God. please help me im scared for my friend. thank you!!
Yes, you are exactly right. Her dad definitely needs to be told about this (if not by her, by you). The sooner her AND her brother (even though he doesn't get hurt...whos to say it won't happen?) get out of the house the quicker their mother can get the help she needs. Tell her not to mention it to her mom, just have her tell her dad immediately and he'll know how to take care of it from there.
ps. I think that you are an amazing friend for sticking through this with her! Be proud of yourself, you are doing the right thing!
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I wasn't exactly sure what category to put this under.
Well my mom has these strict rules about guys. If I have just a friend over thats a guy or my boyfriend, its always been the same. We can't lay on the couch to watch a movie. The couch.. in the living room. No guys allowed in my room even if the lights are on and the door is open. Not even if my little sister is there. We don't do anything like sexual. Oh big deal kissing and cuddling. What's wrong with that? She seems to be totally overreacting with her rules. They make no sense and she never ever gives me a good reason. Any advice about how to convince her to get rid of these rules? Or even advice why she says these stupid rules. We arent even allowed to sit in my lil brothers room. He's 16. My lil sister is 12. Its not like it will harm anything or anyone so whats the big deal?
I agree with all of the below posts. Your mother isn't going to change her rules. You say quote "Oh big deal kissing and cuddling", but your mom knows where and what this can lead to. I know the rules seem dumb now, but keep in mind that one day your daughter maybe writing this very same site and asking this very same question. Respect your mom and her rules. The more you respect her rules (without fight) the more lenient they will become. You need to teach her that she can trust you and eventually she will start to loosen that hold. Good luck babe!
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so i like this guy and this guy likes me. we've been talking for a couple months and finally expressed our feelings over the weekend. i was thrilled. we planned a date and when i called him to confirm times and such the next day he said that he can't be in a relationship right now. i know he still likes me but what does it mean that he can't be in a relationship right now? what are reasons that a guy would say that?
I agree with Michelle. There are way too many reason why he could have said this and no point in listing them all. Just be straight with him. Ask him what changed in the last couple of days to make him not want to go out, not want to give it a shot. Don't worry about asking him..just know that you DESERVE the answer to that question. You don't want to waste time with someone that doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Good luck dear!
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My ex husband is my best friend he always has been and I suspect he always will be. I also have two children with him. Everyone who I date has a huge problem with this and I don't know how to reassure future dates.
There is quite obviously no chance of us two getting together - there is not only absolutely no romantic chemistry between us any longer. I was his "best man" when he got remarried and he has another child with his new wife.
I don't know how to ease people's minds. They tend to just jump to conclusions and it's really, really frustrating.
My mom and dad were the same way. It's definitely not a bad thing..in fact it is great! My brother and I couldn't be luckier. Just make sure at the start of a relationship you lay it all out on the table. Tell them "Look I am divorced, I have 2 kids, and my ex-husband and I are best friends. This is good for me, this is good for the kids. If you don't think you can handle that by all means let me know now! =)"
I'm sure you are a beautiful person and a wonderful mother. I truly hope you can find a guy that is more approving (not that approval is what you wish for but it definitely relieves the stress huh?!)
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Hey. My friend, Hali, her sister died today. Car crash. I texted Hali and told her that I'm here for her. But I really don't know what to say. Hali and me were becoming REALLY close friends, and shes really shy. So I'm scared to talk to her, what to say, how to act. Hali lost her cousin over the summer last year, and her family took it hard, really hard. And now this. I'm scared that I'm going to lose my friend, that she'll push people away. I don;t know how it feels to lose a sister, I don;t. So I need help on what to do, what to say. I was thinking of staying with Hali all day at the funeral home whenever that would be. But I don't know. Hali doesn't have any close friends, I think I;m her closes. Please help me =[
I think being there for her at the funeral would be nice of you! It's hard to know how to react in such situations. I think the main thing is to ensure that she knows you are there for her (no matter what time of night). She may just need to be with family for a little while. If she pushes you away, just let her know that you love her and aren't giving up on her. Then give her the space she needs to mourn. Odds are she'll need you for comfort..even if she doesn't realize it at first.
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Hello Everyone...
I am not sure what the percentage is of contributers from a given country is but I'd appreciate any and as much feedback as possible....
I am looking for international student bursaries or scholarships or some kind of financial/income source. I have one more year in college and my parents can't afford to pay for it... I don't want to stop now ... I'm studying in Canada and my parents are back home in England....
does anyone know of any international scholarship or even art competitions (that's my expertise :p) I could join to try and get some money... at my campus I cannot work because I'm here as a student....long story... anyway please help... I'm desperate and i don't know what to do by next fall....
I don't know a lot about international scholarships and I'm not sure how much this can help, but I know it can't hurt to check it out. Try this site and let me kow what you find out
http://www.internationalstudent.com/scholarships/search.shtml
You may have to cut and copy (not sure if the link will display)
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Alright this isnt exactly a question but whatever. Alot of times things finally start going right in my life and i'm happy...for a little while until something goes wrong or something and then i'm not happy i dont know it's jst not constant and it bugs me because i dont like going from everything being great to everything being bad from being happy to numb and all these things it's really confusing and of course you would probably say "your 14 your barely a teenager things are going to be confusing and inconsistant" but i like i said i dont like it cause anytime things go good i think to much about it and how great things are going and how happy i am then when things go bad i think way to much about how i just wish i was happy and things were good again and how i must be doing something wrong if things keep changing so quikly and what not anywho i guess what i need is some advice hence this website so i just want your thoughts on this please an thankyou in advance
Life is a pain, it's inconsistant, it's sometimes even unbearable, and sometimes it's absolutely amazing! Of all the adjetives..perfect is definitely not one of them and truly, who wants perfection?! Who wants a constant routine. What would life be without a few curves, a few tests? Don't put too much thought into it. Just live. If you never caught a curve ball, you'd never learn to grow. Have you ever tried writing in a journal? I know it sounds silly, but I still do on occasion. Sometimes I just write what happened that day, sometimes I even write letters to people (who will never receive them). It helps me to get everyday frustrations out. Lets say for instance a best friend makes you mad. Grab your journal..write them a note. (Don't hold back). Write everything that you want to say to them in this moment of frustration. Once done close the book and reflect. You've released your frustrations but nobody has been hurt because the letter will never be delivered. As said below..find something that makes YOU happy. Use that to bring you up when you are down.
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15/f
i know this is long but to whoever anaswers thanks a billion!
i know im young and im gonna meet a lot of ppl as i grow up, but my bestfriend and i are completely split apart. A few months ago we were super close and tahts when HER bestfriend was hanging out with someone else and completely ditched her in a way, so we got even closer.(we've been friends since we were 10)so now shes friends with her bestfriend again and now shes tlaking behind my back majorlyyy like she hates me. i know i have a lot of other friends but in a way i miss her, shes still my friend. but shes doing to me what her bestfriend did to her. and i know this for a fact, she runs around her bestfriend like shes a queen and tells her absolutely evertyghing.
thats the short version, its a lot more complicated taht that with boys and..other things related to taht, but thats waht im worried about. How i was there and now she completely ditches me fro something "better". im not even kidding she kisses her bestfriends ass, and when something happened with her and her boyfriend she went to everyone else BUT me. and apparently when i asked her to hang out the other day(for the first time since..december?)she went to her bestfriend and asked her how to get out of it she hates me itll be awkward,,and so on. and her bestfriend just laughed. see her bestfriend doesnt like me so much because she used to be jealous of how close me and my bestfriend are.
anyways the end..
haha sorry this is sort of confusing but i realllllly need help please!!
anyways im just asking if i should try to deal with this, but i know if i talk to her she'll go tell the other person no matter waht(weve gotten into many fights before) or if i should just let it go...
also..one big problem is that i feel like im losing myself thsi year, and shes moves on especially because she thinks shes a lot better than me and im like ntohing and worth nothing.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
Ever heard the saying "with friends like that who needs enemies"? Let her go. It's not fair to the friends who are TRULY there for you. You don't want to waste energy trying to bend over backwards for this person who seems she doesn't even care. Put that energy toward your current friends. You will find another best friend..one that is true to YOU! She'll soon realize what she left behind, but hopefully by then it will be too late for her. Don't play her games though. Don't try to make her mad or jealous, don't call her names..just don't acknowledge her existance at all! Good luck girl! Your friends are lucky to have someone so set on making a friendship work!
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okay. so me and my x boyfriend talked on the
phone every night for about 2 weeks. and i was
really starting to fall for him and care for him.
now today i went back to school from spring break
and his friend wants us to hook back up, so he wanted me to sit with my x at lunch today. i didnt
want to make it weird so i sat with my friend
across the table from my x next to my x's other
friend. okay now i was sitting right there right were i can hear everything they are saying. and my best friend walked by him and he whistled that whew whew. thing. and i acted like it didnt bother me and i just kept talking to my other friend. okay and he knows me and my best friend are best friends so i know he did it just to piss me off. now after lunch we have 7th and 8th period together. and i was talking to him and being nice. and his friend that was trying to hook us up sits next to me in this class. and his friend used to liike me. so i guess this made my
x the one i am talking to get mad. or something. so i was talking to the guy that sits next to me
and we were acting like we always do. but you could tell it bothered him. and my x the one im talking to now acted like i wasent shit to him today, i kept asking him what was wrong and i was
trying to see what i did wrong and see why he was mad and then tells me to get up and get everything he drops and get up and ask the teacher things he didnt know. okay and after this incident today i was all upset after school. so i was going to call
him and ask why he acted all different today [he is usually a really sweet guy] but when i went to
call him and talk to him. his friend prank calls me and also treats me like shit. and i can hear my x in the backround so i know he was with him. but okay i dont want to act like i care. but i cant help it. i feel now like ive wasted my time talking to my x when i could have been talking to another guy. so tell me what do i do. sorry for the length. but thanks in advancee. (:
Be honest with him and yourself. I personally think that you've already figured it out..you said quote "I feel now like ive wasted my time talking to my x when i could have been talking to another guy." If you want to make it work with him, be straight with him. Tell him that you are tired of the games. Tell him that you need to know where you both stand. If he does not want to be in a relationship with you (or chooses not to admit it) then cut contact with him. Move on. I'm sure you are a beautiful girl who can get a lot better! Yes it's true you should follow your heart, but you were given those other senses for a reason. Use them! Watch how he acts, listen to what he says, pay close attention to your instincts! Good luck girl!
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Okay, well me and my boyfriend have been dating for 6 months(as of today!), and well i guess you could say i love him.. But i've still kinda liked one of my best guy friends, i've like him for almost 2 years now, and i can't seem to get over him, and he told me that he liked me, which probably wasn't the best idea, but he said he wanted to tell me cause it was bugging him from me not knowing. And well sometimes i think i like him more then my boyfriend, but then other times i can't really see him more then my bestfriend. And last week i thought i REALLY liked him, and me and my boyfriend almost broke up(nothing to do with my friend), and i was kinda hoping we would have.(i know, bad thing to say) but now, i'm glad we didn't. And my friend is in Flordia right now, and i havn't talked to him in like a week, and i don't like him as much right now, but when he gets back, and we start talking alot again, i have a feeling that i will start liking him. Like he's ALWAYS there for me, not matter what, and he's such a great friend, and he's like everything that i'd look for in a guy. But i don't really want to end things with my boyfriend because it would kill us both. I don't really know what to do, if there is anything, and i've tried "following my heart" but that just confused me even more. Sorry for this being so long, any advice would help. Thanks. :)
Wow...sounds like you are in quite the mess. I'm going to do the best I can to help you. First off, you seem confused as to your feelings for either guy. Let's start with the friend--you say he's always been there for you. Well...that's what friends do. They stay by your side, they help you through hard times, they give you a shoulder to cry on, etc. These are all great qualities..very attractive qualities I might add. Relationships are different...relationships have obligations that friendships don't. Obligations that sometimes aren't soo 'attractive' per se. Do you think that maybe you are overlooking the fact that things will inevitably change in the relationship if you were to date your friend? Now lets think long term...what if things didn't work out between you and your friend? Do you think that things would go back to normal? Nope, odds are your relationship would then deteriorate to nothing. Are you prepared to make that sacrifice of friendship for what could possibly only be a fling?
Now for the boyfriend...although I hate to say this, but you are not only being unfair to yourself, but to him also. You have to be able to love a person with all your heart to make a relationship work...however it seems another guy has atleast a piece of that..am i right? If your feelings for your friend are starting to make you doubt your relationship then maybe you should take a break to figure out what you want. Take some time and weigh out the pros and cons. Decide if you are truly willing to make it work..to give your ALL. If not..then let him find someone who is. In turn you can find the person that truly makes you happy. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you will keep us up to date!
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My husband and I have been together for 9 yrs. Like every relationship we've had our ups and downs mostly downs but I love him[I must love him if it hurts this much to be without him] you see he just asked me for a break I felt my world crashing down the day of our seperation I still feel horrible and don't know how to deal with it.
I'm a female and 24 my husband is 34
Oh dear...I feel for you honey! Not only have you been with this man for 9 years, but for the most important 9 years of your life. This would mean you were 14 or 15 when you got with him?
Give him the break he needs. Let him have his time and YOU take yours. Starting a long term relationship at so young makes it that much harder to move on, I know this. But you need to take time to learn who you are. Your 'significant other' shouldn't define your life, but only make it better.
Go out, meet new people, enjoy life. Baby girl I'm afraid there is sooo much out there that you have not gotten to enjoy.
Find the inner strength..I know it's there. I hope that things work out for you.
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I'll try not to confuse you all.
Well My ex boyfriend *bob and i went out for 5 months anyways while we were going out his cousin asked him how's your girlfriend and he said good and so on the he said what nationality is she he told him and he said nah you can't be with her or marry her she's not one of us and we are basically the same we only just speak a different language anyways bob ignored his cousin,bob told one of his friends what his cousin and his friend said your cousin is right then a lot of his friend started saying it and he got really confused so he broke up with me because he was just really confused,then he realised he really liked me and we got back for one week and he broke up with me ebcause he lost feelings he said he thinks hw lost feelings because of the first break up and now no one tell me to move or whatever i don't know i just want to know how do you make your ex boyfriend like you again i really really love him =[ and i honestly need him back please any advice would perfect.:(:(:(:(
What everyone else is saying is true. You do not want to waste your time on a guy who doesn't care enough to follow his own heart. Babe..don't wait on this guy. If he thinks that you are going to wait, then it is likely he will make you do so. You need to find someone who will give you the respect and love you deserve. Move on and leave this guy behind...NO CONTACT. That is your main concern. Don't try to fix things, don't try to get him back. You don't deserve this on again/off again relationship. It's not healthy. You may think now that it is the end of the world, but I am confident you will learn that he is only a stepping stone to what will prove to be your true happiness. Good luck dear!
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