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how do I deal with heartbreak
My husband and I have been together for 9 yrs. Like every relationship we've had our ups and downs mostly downs but I love him[I must love him if it hurts this much to be without him] you see he just asked me for a break I felt my world crashing down the day of our seperation I still feel horrible and don't know how to deal with it.
I'm a female and 24 my husband is 34
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Oh dear...I feel for you honey! Not only have you been with this man for 9 years, but for the most important 9 years of your life. This would mean you were 14 or 15 when you got with him?
Give him the break he needs. Let him have his time and YOU take yours. Starting a long term relationship at so young makes it that much harder to move on, I know this. But you need to take time to learn who you are. Your 'significant other' shouldn't define your life, but only make it better.
Go out, meet new people, enjoy life. Baby girl I'm afraid there is sooo much out there that you have not gotten to enjoy.
Find the inner strength..I know it's there. I hope that things work out for you.
<3 Leslie
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sweetie he just asked you for a break its not like he wants to break up with you. but a break dose mean you two can talk to new people for a while. i suggest that you go out and meet some new people this will keep your mind off of him for a while. i know its hurting you becuase you two been togather for so long but you will learn to deal if you occupie {excuse my spelling} your time. and you will get to experience being with someone new which can be life changing if you get what i am saying.
hope i helped
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So... Is this a permanent thing, or is this a temporary thing?
If it's a permanent thing, 9 years is a long time to just get over. I mean, you've shared almost a decade of married life together.
Sometimes it's best to keep your mind off of it, but sometimes it's best to have someone who will listen to you talk while you get it all off your chest first. A supportive friend, sibling, parent, etc.
If you are feeling real down in the dumps, there are surely support groups around for women who are, or have been, in similar situations.
Try to get out with friends, or if no friends are available, get out and try to meet people, and make new friendships. That may help get your mind off of it for a while.
If this is a temporary thing, then hopefully he's off trying to figure out how he can do his part to make your marriage have more ups than downs. You should do that as well.
But don't be feeling all down thinking it's all your fault things are this way. It's not just you and it's not just him. There are two of you in this marriage, and you each have your own faults. (We ALL do.)
Either way, go out and try to find yourself. I'm married, and yes, I feel my husband is a part of me. But I learned a long time ago that, though it's good to be a part of someone, I can't loose myself in the mix (which is easy enough to do).
Kind of a "We're together as one, but separate people none-the-less" sort of deal.
Hard for me to explain that in words... I hate when that happens... Grrr...
But I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's important for you to still be totally you, and if you aren't, you need to search yourself.
That is something important you should do, whether this is just a break from each other, or not.
I don't know if I even made the slightest bit of sense, but I hoped I helped at least a little with my rambling.
Hang in there, because you are stronger than you realize. :-)
ygs-29/f
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When men are more older than their significant other, the feel like they are better than them or like they know more. If he wants a break, give him a break. Do something else to occupy your time like exercise, meditate, or run. It will clear your mind.
And dont linger over this situation as much, because grieving over a dead or almost dead relationship is a waste.
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