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Confusion beyond belief!
Okay, well me and my boyfriend have been dating for 6 months(as of today!), and well i guess you could say i love him.. But i've still kinda liked one of my best guy friends, i've like him for almost 2 years now, and i can't seem to get over him, and he told me that he liked me, which probably wasn't the best idea, but he said he wanted to tell me cause it was bugging him from me not knowing. And well sometimes i think i like him more then my boyfriend, but then other times i can't really see him more then my bestfriend. And last week i thought i REALLY liked him, and me and my boyfriend almost broke up(nothing to do with my friend), and i was kinda hoping we would have.(i know, bad thing to say) but now, i'm glad we didn't. And my friend is in Flordia right now, and i havn't talked to him in like a week, and i don't like him as much right now, but when he gets back, and we start talking alot again, i have a feeling that i will start liking him. Like he's ALWAYS there for me, not matter what, and he's such a great friend, and he's like everything that i'd look for in a guy. But i don't really want to end things with my boyfriend because it would kill us both. I don't really know what to do, if there is anything, and i've tried "following my heart" but that just confused me even more. Sorry for this being so long, any advice would help. Thanks. :)
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Wow...sounds like you are in quite the mess. I'm going to do the best I can to help you. First off, you seem confused as to your feelings for either guy. Let's start with the friend--you say he's always been there for you. Well...that's what friends do. They stay by your side, they help you through hard times, they give you a shoulder to cry on, etc. These are all great qualities..very attractive qualities I might add. Relationships are different...relationships have obligations that friendships don't. Obligations that sometimes aren't soo 'attractive' per se. Do you think that maybe you are overlooking the fact that things will inevitably change in the relationship if you were to date your friend? Now lets think long term...what if things didn't work out between you and your friend? Do you think that things would go back to normal? Nope, odds are your relationship would then deteriorate to nothing. Are you prepared to make that sacrifice of friendship for what could possibly only be a fling?
Now for the boyfriend...although I hate to say this, but you are not only being unfair to yourself, but to him also. You have to be able to love a person with all your heart to make a relationship work...however it seems another guy has atleast a piece of that..am i right? If your feelings for your friend are starting to make you doubt your relationship then maybe you should take a break to figure out what you want. Take some time and weigh out the pros and cons. Decide if you are truly willing to make it work..to give your ALL. If not..then let him find someone who is. In turn you can find the person that truly makes you happy. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you will keep us up to date!
<3 Leslie
(sorry so long)
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Ok. I really think that I will be able to give you the best first hand advice here. Before I start, sit down, relax and take a deep breath. Eveything's gonna work out. I promise. I've been there.
So anyways, hey, I'm Julia and I'm 16 years old. I don't want you to think you're getting advice from someone with no experiance, but hun I've definatly been there.
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over 8 months, but it hasn't always been like this. Right before we hit the 7 month mark, I feel for another guy. A friend at that. We started to hang out more and more and deeper i feel for him. Little did I know that I was just really confused because me and my boyfriend had been fighting.
So me and this guy were hanging out. I looked in his eyes once and I saw in that moment that I was where I wanted to be. So without thinknig about it too long, I broke up with my boyfriend. (FREEZE)
You need to remember that you can't rush into anything without talking to your boyfriend about everything that you're feeling. Remember to think all your thoughts through before getting anyone else's feelings involved. Even thought guys don't show it, they have a soft side. Granted you've been together for 6 months, he loves you.
So I was single. I began living the life I thought I loved. Meeting new people, kissing other guys, and also keeping my new intrest close, not realizing that my new behiavor was hurting him as well.
(FREEZE)
This was sooooo wrong of me. I didn't aknowledge anyone's feelings besides my own. Even though you have to follow your heart you have to remember you're not the only one involved.
In the end, I realized that I missed my boyfriend and I wanted him back. Luckily I was able to win him back but this didn;t come easy. I had to let everyone in the situation know what was gonig on and this meant hurting the other guy. But hey, we're good friends now and me and my boyfriend are still together. Although there are spaces, we're willing to fill them.
Also, I still will admit that sometimes I have feelings for other guys. Sometimes it gets to the point where I really want to take a chance but I realize that It's not worth ruining what I have.
This decision is all your own. All I can tell you is that you need to weigh your options and see what one is worth is more for you. Don't do anything without knowing what you really want and try making a pros and cons list. I really hope my story has helped you. I apologize for the lenght but I'm really trying to give you the best advice as possible.
Also you may want to try gonig on a nice walk. Where I live, the weather is starting to get nicer. Taking time to be alone in fresh air will defiantly help you!
GOOD LUCK!
Julia
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If you've liked this guy for two years and he didnt tell you he liked you until you had a boyfriend, the best thing to do is stay friends with him. Its probably killing him that you have someone in your life now. I think if he liked you as much as he says, he would have tried being your man before you got one.
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