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My bff's abusive situation---very serious please help
my very, very best friend just told me she cuts herself and that her mom is abusive. her parents divorced this summer and thats when she started. she lied to me about a big mark on her arm and i knew she was upset so later i asked her if it was her mom again. she and her mom have had tons of fights but i never knew how badly her mom treated her. and i had never guessed about the cutting. i have cut myself but only a few times and i stopped and i still somewhat struggle with self-injuring (i pinch myself occasionally) but im fine now. but her mom through her out of the house for like 45 min she was out in the cold rain. and her mom has hit her with shoes and pulled her hair and yells at her and tells her shes a horrible person. her mom never makes time for her and is always working or with her new boyfriend. my friend hates her moms new bf because he takes all her moms time away. she tries to talk to her mom but she never understands and just yells at her. she goes to church with me and is trying so hard to be a good Christian and her mom knows that so she was telling her she doesnt have God and isnt a Christian and that shes a terrible person and hits her and stuff. she lives with her dad a lot but still her mom just as often but i told her she lives in an abusive place (with her mom) and shes probably going to just stay with her dad.
i know her mom needs help but who should she tell because we're only 14 and i know her mom is abusive and everything but idk what to do about it. i think she should tell her dad tho right? and she sees a physciatrist and told her mom about the cutting but her mom acts like she doesnt care. her mom like has took everything of hers away and one time took all her clothes except a tshirt and shorts and said thats all she got for like a month and stuff like that. can people just please tell me the process of what she needs to do to get away from her mom and get her mom help? and im helping my bff and she said she will call me whenever she wants to cut and shes upset and she only cuts when her mom is screaming at her and they have fought and stuff. please help me this is so important and i love my bff so, so, so much. thank you more than you can imagine
btw i d k if i said this but her parents are divorced and she likes being with her dad and she has a younger brother whos ten but he never gets yelled at really or hit or anything. also she has thought of suicide and once got pills and really wanted too but then thought of her dad and friends and brother so she didnt. Thank God. please help me im scared for my friend. thank you!!
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well first of all she needs to tell her dad. someone even if not her dad has to know besides you. she needs to talk to a school conselor or adult so that her and her brother can get away from their abusive mother. no one deserves to be treated that way. you friend need to get help and fast before it gets even more serious than it already is. best of luck.
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Okay for one, you know just saying this because I'll just toss it out there, umm yeah, CUTTING IS A HORRIBLE THING TO DO TO YOURSELF. Doesn't matter. Its really bad. And its gross. Its just not the thing to do. Maybe she does it out of anger? Anyways. Here's what I think she should do if she doesn't want help Because her mom could get sent to jail for child abuse. I should know because well, acctually I won't get in to details about me or anything but whatever haha. Okay so here are a few things she could do:
Get a lock on her door
Hide a phone under her pillow when she does to sleep or a cell phone, make sure something is with her all the time
Keep emergency jackets and hats and stuff incase she needs to run away
Don't cut herself.
Don't talk to her mom.
Stay clear from her mom, unless she can tell her mom's having a good day.
And if she wants to tell, tell her dad first, doesn't matter if you have to do it or her, she will probobly get mad because like most kids, they don't want anything to happen to either of their parents, even if they're abusers. But still, its common that abusive parents with mental problems like bi-polar don't realize what they're doing, and can kill their kids. I say if you really care about your friend, TELL. Seriously. Its really aweful. And I know these kids are like younger but watch this : [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
All those kids passed because they didn't tell.
I hope you have the right idea.
It really helped me along time ago
I'm sure it'll help your friend. (:
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personally with the abusive issue is that maybe you hould tell an adult about her issues
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Yes, you are exactly right. Her dad definitely needs to be told about this (if not by her, by you). The sooner her AND her brother (even though he doesn't get hurt...whos to say it won't happen?) get out of the house the quicker their mother can get the help she needs. Tell her not to mention it to her mom, just have her tell her dad immediately and he'll know how to take care of it from there.
ps. I think that you are an amazing friend for sticking through this with her! Be proud of yourself, you are doing the right thing!
<3 Leslie
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when someone says they dont want help it usually means that its when they need your help the most. They still love the abuser and dont want to get them in trouble they are just scared. So i reccomend you tell her father right away. Tell a cop, a conseler. SOMEONE!! She might get mad, but she would be away from her mom.
-hayley
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She should tell her dad immediately!! If she doesnt, you tell him. Tell your school consoler, tell your mom, your dad, anyone who will listen! Just tell an adult they will get her help. If you tell your school consuler, they will contact her dad. You can also call the department of human services, ask them who can you speak to about an abusive parent and tell them whats going on, they will handle it!! Do anything you can as soon as possible or your friend can be in worse danger! Even if she says she doesnt want help, she does, shes just scared!
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