Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

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Q: I have been having some issues as of lately but I couldn't find anyone to talk about it. My parents and siblings would probably just call me "drama queen" or "baby" and even though I have some good friends I can't help but feel that I can only count with and trust myself. I'm fifteen years old 5'4", very fair skinned and skinny even though last time I checked I was 112 lbs. I have thyroid problems, dry skin, lots of dandruff and may possibly have abscence epilepsy. The neurologist still hasn't read my results and I have to wait March twenty something to know if I do have and if I do I will have to take more pills. I have very low self-esteem problems and I have this really bad thing of empathy going on... You know when you put yourself in other people's shoes and feel what they feel? I do that, A LOT. With my friends, family, amimals and even TV. I have very poor social skills that I have slowly been trying to fix but whenever I'm around other people I feel really shy and don't know what to say so sometimes I just blurt out random things. At times peole look at me and laugh, other times I get ignored, or I start an actual conversation and if not they just look at me with weird looks like probably thinking "wtf?". Well there's also the fact that the empathy thing sometimes gets me too emotional (actually I cry vey easily) like in movies I place myself in the place of the character and when I try to like choose which one has the good point I can't, because I am really inconsistent. One day I like blue, the other I like purple and the other I like yellow or green. In fact as of now I don't have a favorite color. There's this guy that's new at school and he and I are pretty good friends (he's like an annoying big brother) but there are times in which we start calling each other names and he always gets carried away (even though he probably doesn't know that) when he calls me wash board. See this is kind of more personal but I'll still share it; I have a very small chest that can nearly be considered flat chested. I have trouble in summer picking out swim suits because I get afraid that prople will see how my chest looks like and that gets my self-esteem low along with me not interacting much with people because: 1) I'm afraid that since my chest can barely hold a 32A my top will fall off while in the pool, 2) I can't swin and am afraid of deep water so I don't have as much fun as them and that even makes me seem anti-social while in truth I'm just afraid of drowning and at times I envy them for having such great free spirits and courage while lil me just stand in the side lines admiring them and looking up to them wishing that I could actually be more like them and less like... well ME. Also I have never had a boyfriend before or had my first kiss while most of all of my friends have had them already. Even though I won't get into that stupid self-peer pressure I still kind of like a loser. There is this guy though that I kind of well I'm not sure if I like him or admire him or both. He's kind of a bit of a womanizer at times but he doesn't really mean it, he's actually very serious when it comes to relationships and such. He's with me in my class room and there at this moments in which I look around the class room, bored, and my eyes meet his and for a second I think that I blush so I look away real quick. I know he doesn't like me though, because I heard some time ago that he liked another friend of mine who is really sweet and is actually his best friend (which is the main reason as to why I don't want to admit I like him and am acually trying to help her with him and want for them to be happy together).

My mom and dad are always fighting and once she asked me (since I'm the oldest of my siblings) what would I do/say if she and my dad divorced. Honestly I was pretty shocked, but kept my cool and said: "Nothing, because it's your life and I'm your daughter so I can't really tell what you can or can't do. That's your choice yo make but I don't know know what my siblings would say about that." She never really did it though. I knew she wouldn't because of us. And that made me feel horrible. I mean for all I know she and probably don't love each other anymore are still together for the sake of us. I'm not saying that I want them to split though, just a relationship without love is not a relationship. Ugh, again that empathy thing, I can't help but think about how everybody is feeling. In movies when something embarrassing happens I cover my face in embarrassement as if though I'm passing the humiliating moment. In I Am Number Four, when the beagle was hurt my eyes were stinging with tears and right now just remembering it is making me sad again. Transformers 3? Boy did I cry. When Ironhide was killed, when they killed the Einstein robot, when they were about to shoot Bumblebee. I cried in all those scenes. In Paranormal Activity 3 I went to see it with a group of friend and honestly I wasn't scared if the movie, buy the minute everything started happening I was scared senseless, I wanted to run out of the theater like another froend of mine had done when the movie had just started, I was also curious about it like the guys in front of us, I was about to shit my self like the friend next to me and I wanted to cry (which I did) like a one the girls that was seated like five or six chairs to my right. The funny thing is that I didn't know any of that had happened after we got out of the theater and my best friend who had been paying more attention to everybody else than me (I was completely fixated on the movie) told me. There are lots of other family problems that go around but not with or about me and yet I still feel like a rock has been lifted and dropped onto my shoulders, and it just keeps getting bigger the more problems my family and friends keep telling and laying on me. Actually there are times in which I get paranoid and start thinking people are reading my mind, or that someone is watching me or sometimes that my dreams and even the TV are trying to send me a message but I don't know why is it. Oh almost forgot, I hope its not something weird but there are moments in which I watch some movie like a ninja movie and I actually start thinking that I'm the one on the TV like the ninja, I begin imagining what it would be like and next thing I know I imagining I'm the one and start to either space out jump and run across the house exited.

What I'm asking for is someone to just listen (or in this case read) what I have to say and give me some helpful advice to deal with all of this.

Okay first you are a good weight and size for yourself. Second dandruff you can go to walmart and its a dark blue bottle that comes in a box in the shampoos it has Ketocozole in it. the name starts with a N. just ask the people in the phasmacy they can help it does wonders it will take a couple weeks to start working just follow the direction although it says 3-4 days. I use mine every other day but i use it twice and the second time i use it and a conditioner. i just switch that patteren every other shower. you can fix the thyriod problems with your doctor. Trust me a big chest isnt what it always looks like it sucks i can never find a bra that really fits they cause back pain. its not fun. I really think you should talk to a therapist It sounds to me that you are depressed? an anti depressant could make you happier. just give it try and this person you wont no personally and you can go in there and talk to them and tell them how you feel and they just listen to you and give you the best advice they can give.

Q: It all started when I was 8. I was in gymnastics and I was about to learn a new move. But I didn't trust my body enough to do it. I had to have my coach spot me every time but eventually I got to the point where I couldn't do it even if I had a spotter. After that I have had SOOOOO many fears of EVERYTHING! Around my friends I am slightly stonger but showers freak me out so much, the darkness, unlocked doors at night, raw meats, throwing up(phobia), dark windows, quietness at nights, the list could go on. How do I fix this!? It is interupting my life and changing who I am! Please and thank you. :)

A therapist can help you cope with these problems. I want to tell you thought a lot of people are scared of what you are scared of. More and likely you are scared of these because of a trauma in your past and it sounds like it happened around the age 8. It may not seem like something huge that happened to other people but it effected you emotionally. I have be sexually abused twice. In the dark. I am scared of being in the shower unless my husband is awake in the other room. I am scared if myhusband sneaks up on me i have a panic attack. If i hear strange noises and i cant figure out where they are coming from i start to panic. So dont think you are crazy you arent the only one with problems like these so talking to a therapist can help you a lot with what to do when you find yourself in these situations.

Q: So yeah, facebook won't let me log into my account. They are trying to make me enter a mobile number to get a verification code.... The problem is I don't have a mobile phone nor do I want to buy one so facebook can sell the number to third party sources.... How can I get around the securiy check? Thanks for the help, in advance. BTW I need this info ASAP so I can delete the account.

It doesnt sell your number. Its just security to make sure no one is hacking your account under your security settings you can have it so you dont have to do this. if you cant get to your security setting your may have to delete and create another one.

Q: my husband works and i stay at home. he says there is no reason why the house should not be clean and laundry be done etc... he refuses to help in any way says he pays all the bills and
i am responsible for everything else. if its not done, i really get yelled at and im about to have a nervous breakdown

We dont really no the whole situation. How messy could the house be? Do you clean at all? I mean we need to no more detail.

Q: Alright. So i'm starting a new youtube channel. where there will be makeup tutorials, me singing covers of songs or my own songs (maybe with friends), me dancing (maybe with friends), challenges sent to me, advice from my advice column, random things, "wtf moments", "smh moments", comedy skits, what you may call rants, poetry being spit, reviews, pieces of my book, and just plain old talking, contests for people to win stuff. and ways for my subscribers to meet people and such.

SOOO I NEED SOME IDEAS. AND SUCH. Like what kind of makeup tutorials would you guys wanna see? What kind of songs should i dance or sing to? What challenges should i do? What kind of things should i talk about, what should i review? What do you think you'd want to see a youtuber do?"

Maybe you should try setting an example for kids your age. Talk about the 3 young boys who were killed during the recent school shootings. Why its important not to mess with guns get help if you are feeling depressed and emotional It sounds boring but you could be saving someones life. Make up. the shadowing in eye shadow.

Q: My bf's birthday is coming up and I want to get him a scent that will just make me want cuddle up next to him or jump his bones lol like the sort of scent worthy of spraying on my pillow or on tshirts that I wear around the house to remind me of him. He's in his early 30s and I have no idea what kind of scents I like on guys so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

Mary Kay sells Velocity.I always buy that for my husband ( hes not old hes 25) he loves it.

Q: I just got my period 2 day ago and I want to know, will my period be more like my older sisters or Mothers? Just a predicted guess would help
-Thanks

You cant really guess. Its your body you will never no untill you have your period and sometimes it may change etc.

Q: me 16 bf 18
everytime my boyfriend lets me down or makes me sad he says that he is not worthy of being with me..he also says that since he cannot stop loving me the only way out is killing himself..he never wants to cause my depression or make me cry but he does..I really love him and sometimes I get extremely scared because I really don't know what he is capable of doing..I am afraid that if I don't feel the same way in the future I will be forced to stay with him because of this..what should I do? :(

He is controlling you to stay with him. He probably wont kill himself if you leave him but I would tell him parents or ask a police officer what you should do. He is hurting you mentually by controling you in the long run you are going to loss confidence in yourself.

Q: My boyfriend loves sex! I do to, don't get me wrong, but it's hard to enjoy it when it's so painful, and sadly my boyfriend loves the painful stuff. We did anal one time and I was practically screaming in pain and crying the moment it started. Not once, even when I was crying and trying to hold in the screams of pain did he stop or ask if I was alright. After that he promised he wouldn't put me through that again, but we've done it twice since then and it was the same everytime.
Then there's the "Blowjob"... I throw up every time. After he's finished I run to the bathroom to throw up what he's done to me, and he just watches me throw up from the bedroom like he's watching tv and my pain is nothing to him. I love him so so much but I don't want to have to be in pain to please him.

He is treating you like a dog. My ex boyfriend before I meet my husband was the same way he would force me to have sex with him how he wanted it no matter if I told him no I dont want to. He would make me give him a blow job and then pee in my mouth or get in the shower with me and pee on me like he owned me. Seriously you are in love with him but you need to find out what love really is because what is happening to you is not love its degrading

Q: I've talked about this before on here, but i seem to get the same answer everytime. "Go to therapy, take meds, switch your meds, talk to your doctor/psychiatrist/therapist about it, switch your doctor/psychiatrist/therapist", which I have already done all of this, none of which helped, obviously. Is there anything else I can do? It's either helped or i just end it.

I think when you feel down you should get up and find something to keep you occupied. You really need to get down to why you feel this way. Is there a certain thing that triggers this feeling a certain someone or is when you are just alone. What do you think about. The journal is a good idea but you also need to find a way to cope with it right away. music? walking? running? calling a friend. something to get your mind on something else.

Q: So I have stopped doing drugs for two years now mainly because I noticed I was tearing my family apart and once I stopped I noticed I formed some anxiety or something maily social I think, I think it may been have been of the drugs because before that I was just fine confident had a good time now whenever there is company or I have to interact vocally with someone I become very panicy especially when I have to look them in the eyes. It's affected my last job and when I go to school it's horrible because i become very weird and akward. So what does this mean idk if I got this after I quit doing drugs but I never had it before. Can someone help me to over come this or know anything of this? If so thank you so much

It sounds like your paraniod and maybe going threw some with draw. You might go threw a rehab center and they can help you cope with this and teach you different ways to cope with it. I wish you luck

Q: I moved away to get away from my Mother, My ex bf which who lives with her and my brother. I move and met a wonderful man and I was diagnosed with BiPolar Disorder for years and the meds were not working there or here so I took myself off. Now I am out here I feel so close to my pets back home and don't want nothing more than in life to be with them. My apartment won't let us have pets here and I am totally depressed without the dogs. My family always been negative in my life and I feel like being here and trying to start a new life and its been shambles. My bf has 2 daughters and a son that are grown and one lives here and you might as well say the other daughter lives here too and the son is a career felon and they bum off us all the time money and eat our home out of food. I am on SSD and I cant work or get the motivation to get out of bed. I feel sometimes let my life go and I can be somewhere else not here or at my mothers. I would love to get treatment but my insurance sucks now since i Moved to another state and my ssd is getting cut. I feel like dying inside with all this and at my breaking point. What can I do before this closes?

First step I think you need to get back on your medication or find something that helps because just stop taking it isnt going to help you or anyone else. I think you and your husband should set down the law with the children depending on their ages?? I also think you should get a job volunteering. At a hospital or a thrift store. It wont count against your disability or anything it will get you out talking to new people and doing something.

Q: I m frm india!

I am not sure you are asking a question? Suicide is never an option and please don't consider it. You can talk to someone? You can find ways to help your depression.

Q: hi,i am from south africa,cape town,i am a female and i am 19 years old,almost 3years married.i have a daughter that is two years old. the last time i was happy was the day i got married.. ever since then iv been crying every night. i have always been taken for granted, i had to go through alot with my husband we were both on school that time and that made it soo much difficult. i moved into a room in his mothers house. he didnt think that he must leave school to go work for his family he just wanted his parents to do everything for him.he only thinks of himself,he doesnt do anything for us if he doesnt get anything out of it. he is the only boy and the youngest child, he is 19 years old too. he has always gotten everything right by his family! he treats me very bad, when i cry he turns his back on me,he speaks to me like im a friend,and treats me like a dog,he minipulates me,and throws a fit when he doesnt get what he wants. during my pregnancy i was left without food to eat, they always made sure that he had a few rands for school but they didnt even consider me.they are not my only problem his two sisters moved back last year the one has three rude kids and the other one moved back with her husband and baby boy.. the one with the 3 kids is a thief that steals all my stuff,even as far as underwear and food..i must lock my room at all times even when i need to use the loo..the house is packed now and always noisy.i so badly dont want my child to grow up here but what other choice do i have. i have tried moving to my mum but that seperation does not work for him..my daughter is becoming rude and disobedient just like her kids she shouts and swears at them at all times and that is not what i want my child to listen to. thats part of my problem.. his mother treats me horrible aswell.. she always makes me out to be the bad one..his other sister badmouths me by everyone,when i go on holiday to his family in port elizabeth then evryone gives me bad looks. im not perfect,i have also got my faults, but i also dont deserve this.the middle of last year was abit better in my marriage. but now its gotten worst, my husband is working as a salesman on contract and he doesnt bring in much. he just took out a laptop contract that cost him 400r every month.money we dont even have.i wanted us to start saving even if its just 200r a month or so. he does not no about responsibility.he doesnt have to worry about baby health and doctor bills,my mum is paying that,she also goes every winter and summer to go shop for clothing for her.the way this looks we're never going to get on our own. i am not working yet, i did my senior year last year @ night school and now i am applying wherever is possible.he doesnt look like he is much interested in me anymore,when i dress up for him he doesnt notice even when i do my hair, it hurts alot! every morning i wake up he looks @ me and says where is my coffee, he doesnt even greet first..he comes home to a clean room, ironed pjs ready for him to go shower and he gets his coffee when he steps in the house,what am i doing wrong.i get treated like dirt from begining to end. the only time i get attention is at night when he lays next to me ,sleeping!i am very close to giving up..i dont want to waste my time if i am never going to get treated the way i deserve! what should i do?

South Africa is different from the United States. In this situation we would leave the man if things weren't getting better. To better like for the child and out self. Living with family is the worst situation my husband and I did that in the beginning of out marriage and it made us worse. I am not sure how woman do stuff were you are if your mom allows you and your child to live with her than do it. Explain to him you wish things to be different between the two of you. You need him to grow up and be a man and take care of his family.

Q: I've lately had alot of depression. I don't know why... I startes cutting myself this year, and I cry like everyday... Is there a way to NOT be this way?

Well you could see a therapist someone you dont know to talk to is always best. They will also describe you medication to help. Cutting i put a rubber band around my wrist to snap instead of cutting. I quit.

Q: Some parts of the following are kinda embarrasing so bare with me. So I am a 13 year old girl. I go through these weird two phases that are SO different! One of them is masterbation. I don't normally do it but if you averaged it, probably twice a month. The other phase is wearing diapers and watching baby shows. Nobody knows about either of these phases. And these phases come randomly. Right now I am going through both of them and it is really wierd!!! I have masterbated, made homemade diapers, and watched Baby Lonney Tunes today. Ugh, the one phaes that bothers me the most is the masterbating one. Because it is possibly a sin and I am Christian. There is nothing wrong with watching Baby Looney Tunes....

Your best best is to see a counselor if you are worried about the situation.

Q: i am in 8th grade. i have had straight a's all of middle school. our school year is divided into 4 quarters. i am on the third quarter right now! i really want to get high honors for the rest of middle school so i can say i did it. but i just cant focus anymore!! ): i have 2 b's and a c! im not turning in work because i zone out during class. i dont know whats happening and im starting to become depressed and i have anxiety already!

You should talk to your school counselor they are here to help you figure out what is going on. I am sorry I cant tell you exactly what is going on but they will be able to help you figure out what is stressing you out and why you are depressed.

Q: i'm 13 1/2. i never knew what sex was until this year in eighth grade. im in health now learning about it! its a lot to take in and very scary! once im learning about it, all i see EVERYWHERE, is SEX SEX SEX. why is sex like everywhere?! i never new how many people have sex all the time. on here there are thousands of questions where people had sex! what's with the world all about sex?

It is a good subject to stay away from for many years. It has gotten a lot of people in trouble disease that can kill you. You can get pregnant and going to college and finishing schools gets much much harder. People talk about it because everyone does it ( at a certain age)

Q: I want to help her, and I want to help me. How do I stop cutting my arm? She gave me this little metal sharp thing to cut myself; she uses hers too. She did it to help me because it is no sharper than a knife. Help!

You need to find the source of your cutting to be able to stop. Why are you upset or depressed. Is there a problem with family, friends, image etc.
First off wear a rubber band around your wrist at all time. Snapping the rubber band every time you feel the urge of cutting can stop you from cutting. Next step is to tell your parents. Yes it is the worst part but you need help and so does your friend. I am sure your parents love you and may worry but explain to them that speaking to a counselor could really help you. Maybe look up some stuff about cutting online to show your parents so they understand a little more about it.

Q: My boyfriend and i just broke up.... we were too different for each other ,,, well idk watt 2 do

You can start over and meet a new guy one day. I always think its better to run your life with out a boyfriend and let the right one to just slip right in unexpectedly.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.