StarryNightSkies's advice column

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Q: hey so for the past few days i have had a temp of only like 99.5, and ive had an extremely soar throat and very swollen neck glands. Also my ears feel pressure. i am either very tired, or not at all. what do you think this is? and should i go to the doctor

i had the exact same symptoms with the ear pressure and everything.
it subsided on it's own, just get lots of rest, drink lots of fluids, and take dayquill/nyquill to ease the symptoms.
in fact by the time i went to the doctor i was already better... if it last more than a week then i'd go to the doctor.

Hope you feel better

Q: i know you will just be like "oh, it doesn't matter" and "people who really care won't care" but i do care. i'm a teenager, and i care what other people think and all of my friends have them. i'm underweight and short, but so is my friend who's the same age as me and she's even more underweight than i am, but she has boobs. and her mom is flatchested, and she doesn't have a sister. my mom's kind of flat-chested, but she said she started getting boobs when she was my age. and i have none. if i gain weight, do you think i'll get boobs? because people alot thinner and smaller than me, but the same age, even have bigger boobs than me. it's not like i'm anorexic, i eat what i want when i'm hungry until i'm full. i don't make myself puke or anything stupid like that. i eat really healthy, too.
also, people that eat junk food seem to have bigger boobs, is that true?

i didnt get boobs until i was 16, my whole family, and all my friends had boobs when they were way younger. turns out that once i finally grew them they're way bigger than all my family members, and most of my friends.

have you gotten your period yet? if you haven't then once you do you'll definitely get some.
also, once i started birth contol they grew larger.

Q: William is a kid that from day One of school in Kindergarden no one liked. He was always bullied, always hated. Well two years ago I stayed back, and I didn't have to deal with him. Well then last year he CHOSE to stay back to leave the 8th graders that hated him and kicked the crap out of him.And i took this as God [[which I have newly let into my heart]] has given me a second chance. I was really mean to this kid when he was in my grade so for half the year I stuck up for him when no one else would.
Well then he started yelling at me! So I was like whatever let kids pick on your I personally dont care and i stopped sticking up for him. Now I fear my life, because he's gone phycotic. I believe he is the next kid to do a Columnbine. I am DEAD SERIOUS. He told me, and a couple of people that if he had one day left to live he would have a masacar. Well Friday I got in thi huge fight with him that I will not get in details with him and when I accepted Christ I promised myself I would never hit another person unless self defense. Well I am now afraid for my life, I personally think i will be the first kid shot when he does this. I donno if I should tell someone... like my parents who wont care cuz they never do. Or my teacher. Maybe my Guidance teacher. I dont know.. but Im afraid to go to school. He is making personal threats to me that he's gunna punch me in the face. yeh and when that happened Cole was like Dont you fucking touch her or I swear to God-- and then I kinda shut him up. But I dont wanna get anyone who annually stand up for me in trouble and I dont wanna shot.
Any help.

definitely talk to a teacher that you're close with or a guidance conciler!
you really really should

good luck

Q: my boyfriend and i have been dating for a while and we have sex well a healthy amount...i love being on top, but the when ever my boyfriend is laying flat on his back we always have a problem like...when ever we get going his penis comes out...now if hes sitting up like in a chair or on a couch then we dont have this problem but i wanna do it with him laying down...any suggestions?

this has happend to me a lot, but finally this past weekend we figured it out... you have to do little motion cause you cant really tell how far up you can go, either that or have your boyfriend do the thrusting motion so he can tell when its about to come out.

good luck :]

Q: ok so im uhh popular, but theres two different kinds of popular in my school, like two groups -- since its a big school. so the only guy in my drivers ed class i know is one of the popular guys from the other group, meaning i have never even spoken to him. its awkward though, because we know each other and have a lot of mutual friends, but weve never hung out at like a party or anything, which is pretty wierd.
so how do i start talking to him? i can't just be like hey chris whats up? but then again i cant be like hey whats your name? where do you go to school... like normal convo, because thats just wierd.
alright thanks

you could be like hey don't you go to "your school's name"? then just start a casual convo with him

Q: I've always felt that I was what many might consider a "sensitive". I feel things that I shouldn't feel, and know when something bad is going to happen in advance.

But, I want to bring the gift further, and use it to the best of my ability. Is anyone else like this? And if so, how can I strengthen my gift?

Thank you in advance.

i used to be just like this back in middle school :] unfortunatley i dont know how to strengthen it, i've lost some of it but occasionally it still happens.

one time i was on the bus in middle school and i zoned out focusing on the bad feeling i had, it turns out that my friend would have been hit by a car if i hadn't zoned out (she was sitting in the seat with me and i didnt realize she had to get out), a car ran through a stop sign around this nasty curve where he wouldn't have seen her. that was when i first noticed my ability.

i just wanted to tell you good luck, its a nice ability to have

Q: Just recently my dog had some type of surgery on her ear, and now there is a tube sticking out of it.
But you see, my parents just recently went on vacation (smart of them to leave my brother and I to do this. -_-) and every morning and night my brother and I have to clean around the tube.
It literally takes an hour just to do it. Macy (my dog) will NOT cooperate at all. We've laid her down, where I would pet her and my brother would try and get to her ear and clean it, but she just freaks out.
She growls, she kicks, she jumps up and runs away.
I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to calm her down?
Because for two weeks while my parents are gone my brother and I will have to do this, and I don't think we'll be able to if she keeps acting like that.
So, any ideas?
Thanks. :)

proper restraint is the key :]
i know a really usefull position, here it is:
http://www.livingart.org.uk/illustrations/Veterinary/Dog-restraint.jpg

the hardest part will be getting the dog down on their side. you need to make sure that the way you flip her is to where the ear you need to clean is on top. to do this kneel behind the dog while you are holding her head. next have someone else on the otherside of the dog and what you have to do is pull her feet out towards you, so she lays on her side. make sure you dont pull her out into mid air and make her fall on her side, do it in a nice quick motion so she lands on the other persons lap, and move her head with the motion of her being pulled. once she lands on your lap get her to the ground

once you have her in position hold her feet in between your hands [ in this picture they're only hold one foot from front and back i think its easier to hold all four feet] and apply pressure to where your forearm is on their collarbone so they cant get up and bite you.

reward her with a treat when you're all done and make sure you sweet talk her the whole time
good luck hope this helps!

Q: Before i got my computer i would always use my moms and my brothers. Everyone was always telling me to get off thier computer and that it was theirs, and not mine. So finally, a couple of months ago, my garndpa got me a laptop!
Now that i got my laptop, i wouldnt have to use anyone elses. Now people use it without asking, and when i need my own compuuter, or say no (like they did to me)
They throw a hissy fit. I needed my computer for studying today, and my brother pushed me when i told him no i need it for finals, becuase the study guides are online.
what do i do
theres more problems too, but im just confused because now i have my own, for me and me only (and i also dont even mind sharing but they abuse it!)My brother takes it from me just so he can lay on his bed
help

try making a password for it that they'll never guess :] and whenever you walk away from it make sure you put it on the lock mode so they need the password.

if you cant do that try finding a good hiding place for it.

if you'd like to solve it with words try telling them that you finally have your own and they have their own to use.

i would also try talking to your grandpa and telling them that they're taking it from you and maybe he'll have a talk with them telling them that it was a special gift for you.

good luck!
hope everything works out.

Q: I'm getting braces and i want to be prepared b/c my friend told me that they hurt the second day that i get them on. And i want to know what i should do if they start to hurt!

you should definitely take Advil or tylonal 10 minutes before you get them on. They'll hurt the first day, not just the second, and they may hurt for a few weeks.

make sure you get lots of food that dont require you to apply pressure to your teeth.

The most you can do is just deal with it.
and take something like Advil to ease the pain

Q: Its summer vacation and I believe its too late to start a summer school I'm not sure. I'm 17 I'm supposed to be a senior next year. I only completed one full quarter of my junior year. Although I missed alot of school due to personal reasons I wasn't behind. The only thing I need to complete for this year is my requiered English and History. I got half credits for both. I want to be able to be a senior next year. Any advice on what I can do?

call your school and ask as soon as possible, it may also be possible to be a senior but take extra courses by getting rid of your electives

good luck!

Q: Since yesterday I have been getting these little red bumps all over my skin, ive had the chicken pox, but they dont look like that. I wasn't even outside all day, but they are showing up and they itch a lot, just wondering what they could be.
Thanks in advance,
Gina

do you have any pets?
it could be flea bites.

it might be an allergy to something, have you used any new soaps, shampoos, lotions, or perfumes that you've never used before? did you eat something that you may be allergic to?

if they dont subside in a week you should see a doctor

Q: I am going on a trip to Atlanta, GA and I want to bring a small bowl and a little bit of pot with me. If I put them inside a small zip lock baggy and insert them into my umm yea would I be okay?

good luck fitting it all into your vagina lol.
but it really depends, if a penis can go in, and a baby can come out then im sure it's fine.

there may be problems if you're trying to force it it, it might cause scarring, but if you lube it up then it might slip right in.

i do agree that if you do get caught then it will probably end up ruining your trip, but good luck anyway.

Q: hi well im 16 and so is my boyfriend, and obviously, we're "sexually active." and i know everytime we do, were taking a big risk..but my last period was two and a half weeks late..and i was tired and peed all the time, every little smell could make me nauseous, i was getting sick in the morning, i gained 6 pounds, and as silly as this may sound, i felt heavy and contented, and rather..well, motherly. then one day at work, after almost puking, i had horrible cramps. but i couldnt go home till later. i went to my boyfriends, and we had a fight. then when i got home, i thought i started my period..but upon closer inspection..(graphic!)..it wasnt normal period stuff.. it was all pink..and stringy-like..with like, chunks of almost black red stuff, but mostly pink. then after about 3-4 days, it turned like a normal period. and i havnt been sick or nauseous or way mood swingy since...my friends are convinced i miscarried... did i..? im going to the gyno june 24..so dont say go to the doc..im going then. thanks..! =(

You may not want people to tell you to go to the doctor but it is very important that you do sooner than that depending on how far along in the pregnancy you were.

It can be fatal after having a miscarriage if you were at least 10 weeks pregnant. The chance of infection and hemorrhaging are very high, and death isn't uncommon. If you were under 10 weeks pregnant you should be okay and the normal gyno visit should be fine.

Q: ohk so first off i'd like to ask if you're suppose to buy a pregnancy test when you think you've missed a period or a month after you had sex? i had sex on may 4th and 11th and my period is suppose to be coming on the 18th approximately. so if you "think" your pregnant when should you try the whole test thing..?

ALSO i would like to ask if my chances are high for being pregnant? he used a condom everytime and everything(we had sex 5 times, all times were either on the 4th or 11th of may) but twice when he pulled out, like he was finished the condom like slid off his penis and stayed in my vagina.. like the ejaculation was still inside the condom and the top of the condom was still outside of me but i'm just REALLY REALLY nervous, please help me.

I agree that the chances of you being pregnant are slim, but for peace of mind you can get the "first response" brand of pregnancy tests and take it 5 days before the supposed date of your expected period.

I also agree that it is very important to have the proper size condom, and that he should apply it correctly.

If the condom is the right size maybe perhaps he no longer had an erection when he pulled out so that may be the case as to why the condom is left inside. If this happens again be very careful not to spill when taking the condom out.

hope this helped

Q: i know an abortion is wrong, but there is so much going on in life right now that it is impossible for me to bring a baby into this so i need to get an abortion. im scared tho.

if your only 17, do you have to have have a parent with you or parent permission in order for them to do it? about how much do they cost? i dont know if the state you live in matters about prices but i live in georgia.

what exactly do they do in the procces, how long does it normally take for them to do it? and when you go in for the abortion, when their done giving it to you, do you loose the baby right away? what are the after effects of it, like does it make you sick for a couple of days or does it make you bleed or hurt when you pee or anything? sorry its so many questions but i am really scared and need to know everything possible before i go do it!!

i cant answer all of these questions.
a surgical abortion is pretty much suctioning the baby out of you... you can see a video of the process of it on youtube its called a silent scream or something like that. a medical abortion is when you are administered medication which induces a miscarrige.
both of these are painful and if you are anemic i think that just has something to do with the iron in your blood, it may be harder to clot, i'm sure they'll still do it but they will just have to keep an eye on you.
i know in my state that if you're under 18 you need a parent, gaurdian, or spouse with you.
if i were to ever get an abortion i think i'd have to choose the surgical one, its much faster.
they'll cost around $350 so i definitely think you should talk to the father of the baby and try to split the cost.

Q: Okay I'm a 16 year old female, and I was wondering this: Um do guys care if a girl gets wet very easily? Like for example if he's going to go down her pants, is it considered gross??

my boyfriend loves it, most guys do, it makes them feel like they are turning you on. i think of it this way: i like when i can turn a guy on, when they have a boner so its kinda like the same thing.

Q: My girlfriend and I had sex for the first time yesterday, and I pulled out instead of using a condom (we didn't have one.) The next day she said her stomach hurt, like cramps or a general stomach ache. Either way, I think she is just freaking out, and I'm doing everything to keep her mind off of it and make her happy, but for my own sanity, what should I do, and should I worry about anything? I was basically sure everything would be fine, but with a freaking out girlfriend, I just need some clarity. Thankkkk youuu

i honestly would go to a local planned parenthood and get the morning after pill, or if either of you are 18 and have $50 then go get it at walmart or something if planned parenthood isnt available to you.
it's quite normal to feel cramping and such stomach pains afterwards.
from now on use a condom though i know 3 people who have "mysteriously" gotten pregnant, from the pull out method.

Q: does having sex hurt?
and how much does it bleed the firt time you have it?

oh and does it hurt to be fingered

when i had sex it didn't hurt me at all.
and i didnt bleed either.
it all depends on your pain threshold how much pain you can tolerate.
the bleeding on the other hand, it depends on the size of the penis is and how thick your hyman is.

Q: my bf and i have started having sex hes 17 and well everytime he puts his penis in after a short time it goes soft and i try to get him hard again he cant hes really embarrassed about it what could be the problem what can we do?

1 out of 4 guys have erectial disfunction.
it may have something to do with his diet.
alcohols is a big fraction of the problem if this is the case, as well as drugs.
you may also need to try ultra thin condoms.

Q: I'm getting my nose pierced in a few weeks and I'm not sure which nostril I should get done. It would just be a bolt...my mom isn't letting me get anything else.

Everywhere I've looked hasn't mentioned anything about it, but does it matter which side you get pierced? What I mean is, does it mean anything like ear piercings do?

f/16

Thankya :)

i have mine on left, a lot of my friends do too.
it's most common because most jewlery for nose peircings are naturally made for the left side (this is what my peircest told me) and as for the meanings, that's just dumb, just because you have something peirced on one side doesn't mean anyythingg, it's immature.