Just here to help
I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful
Hi,
My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.
I answer anything of the following only;
Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos
NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.
- Lucy
Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
Visitors: 32628
Main Categories:
Love Life
Families
Random Weirdos
View All
Favorite Columnists
NinjaNeer
WittyUsernameHere
ThirdQED
|
| |
|
What are some good summer reading books? i just finished the pretty little liars series (link)
|
Some of my personal favorites..
The lovely bones
The Ice Child
Midnight voices
Black Seconds
Vampire Kisses
Before I fall
Whisper (author Phoebe kitanidis)
|
Hello everyone,
I live in NY and if anyone can help me I'd be really grateful. Unfortunately, I was randomly harassed by some disgusting man on the street. I called the cops, and literally almost killed this man if I would have had a weapon. According to the cops, he's "legally blind" (although he did quite well in pin pointing me out and grabbing my butt) and "slightly disturbed". I'm extremely infuriated at the fact that this guy was let go as if nothing ever happened. Is that even possible? God knows how many little kids have been touched by this creep. If anyone can help me out here on what I can do, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!! (link)
|
If it were me, I would of given this man a nice smack across the face.
If the police don't want to take action, I would go back down the police station and file a complaint against this person. Go to the police that took down your complaint and ask them if they could show you the documents of this man being "legally blind".
If something like this were to happen again, I would file a complaint...If it don't work you are entitled to a public defender since it is a minor problem and isn't considered a big crime. (In this case it would help to have solid proof) Public defenders are free but you would need to take it to court etc. From here on out I would be extra careful of where you walk...
I don't know what else to tell you, but if it were me I'd be trailing right back to the police station.
|
|
ok, i really like this guy, but I'm not gunna say his real name, ok? let's say his name is....Jake, ok, Jake. well, i really like "jake" and we've been great friends ever since before Pre-K! and, i could tell he's always kinda liked me because of the way he looks at me, he smiles, ans his face gets all lit up, it's cute =]..anyways! i didn't see him for a while last year, we go to different schools and now we only see each other every monday in the summer, apparently, last year, he got a girlfriend, she's a year younger than "jake", a little chubby, and just plain EW. did he move on? is there no chance left for me? should i move on to someone else? (link)
|
If he has a girlfriend, He's moved on. Maybe his girlfriend isn't attractive to you but looks aren't everything.
You should move on, Stop wasting your time for someone who is in a relationship.
|
So im turning 20 tomorrow, and my mom asked me to come over to have dinner with the family. I asked my boyfriend if he'd like to go to dinner with me and he responded that he had plans already and he wouldnt be able to. Hes having a party at his new apartment.
Well, ive just noticed that he probably forgot my birthday is tomorrow. Should i just let it go and not remind him??? I dont care about presents or anything, but hes been a bit of a dick lately, and if he honestly has forgotton im probably going to be pretty upset.
What should i do? (link)
|
I would pick up the phone and remind him, Simply say (Tomorrow is my birthday we are having a dinner and I would really like for you to be there) not everyone has good memories and most men are terrible with dates as so are some of us women. Maybe your boyfriend needs a reminder, If he moved into an apartment schedule is party for another night, Your birthday is once a year.
Communicate, Call him back and remind him
|
|
my ex boyfriend only wants what he doesnt have (me) we have been off and on again and now are just mates. he admitted to likeing me yesterday but i think were better off as mates. does this work out sometimes? (link)
|
This is why I don't get involved with exes, If you two can't keep a stable relationship then you aren't meant to be together.
He may like you, but again you two have tried being in a relationship and it didn't work if you two were to date again....What is going to change to make it work? Nothing exactly.
You two are better of being friends, That IS if you two can maintain a friendship and respect one another wishes to keep it that simple. Maybe it would be best if you two kept the contact to a minimum until the feelings start to fade a bit. If you two keep on dating on and off it isn't going to go anywhere, He may like you, He may not like you...Maybe he is just telling you what you want to hear. On a more personal note, I don't stay in contact with exes, They are too much drama and stress. I date someone, If it doesn't work out I go my separate way. I don't become friends with drama.
|
|
what is im (link)
|
im
As in I'm
of if using in terms on talking to someone, im- Instant Message
|
|
me and my boyfriend have been going out for two years and two months now. we were best friends we were okay. but heres the problem he has friends good im glad he does but he hangs out with them EVERY DAY! if we hang out and i leave at 11 he goes to his friends house. sometimes theres girls there and the girls there are for his friends. ok. he says that he only loves me blah blah blah my problem is that he turned into one of them. everyone knows that guys act different when there with their friends well my boyfriend is with them alll the time and he constanly acts liket them. his friends are very protective secretive. so if i asked my boyfriend where he got free tickets to go mini golfing he says "dont worry about it" hmm that pisses me off and if i argue about it that he shouldnt be so secretive he complains that i need to know everything. he tells me to shutup and he ALWAYS wants to go to his friends house. he says he would always rather hang with me. ?? the other night i argued with him how he needs to stop being so disrepectful and he just doesnt see how he is being one he just argues back and says how im always being a bitch. i told him id break up if it continues he just keeps doing it. i asked if he could go one day without talking to them or hanging out with them he says no. i dont know what to do to get my boyfriend back. is it too late? am i really being the bitch? should i end it? why? how? if i end it i need help. i love him so much its just constant arguing now. if i was answering this id say break up, but i dont want to. just help me please. (link)
|
Relationships come with sacrifices, Along with these sacrifices are things we don't always want to give up but it is part of commitment. If your boyfriend is not willing to cut down the amount of time he spends with his buddies, Then as long as this continues I can promise you, You will both have arguments and along with arguments come tension, trust issues, stress and a load of other problems. If your boyfriend is being secretive then obviously that gives you a damn good reason not to trust him. Without trust...There is no relationship. Everyone undergoes problems and fights in a relationship but telling someone to "shut up" is not a nice way of handling a situation nor a mature way of communicating. If your boyfriend isn't willing to commit to your relationship, Then maybe that tells you that you should find someone else more suitable for you.
|
I was just wondering, what do you think about girls that are taller than their boyfriends? Do they look ridiculous?...I'm not sure what to believe and this problem pretty much affects my love/dating life as it wasn't only once when i've never given guys s thought for being shorter than me. I'm 5'9" (aka 175cm ).
Thank you. (link)
|
Height should not matter, It isn't about what someone looks like, How tall they are, What color they may be. It's about finding the right one for you, Someone who you can see yourself with and that makes you happy and that's good for you.
Some guys prefer a woman who is taller than him, Some guys love a woman who is shorter...It all depends but does it really matter? No.
I am 5'10, I like all men. However, I am happily married to my husband who is 6'4. Love comes in all shapes and sizes :)
|
Hi there, im a 15 yr old male.
Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a while, and i feel like its time to move on, but thats what every male feels like. So i knew she wasn't like that, she only likes kissing,but shes older than me. I really do love her, shes been the best to me and she makes me so happy. I want to hint her to move on, any tips?
Thank you very much,
Tom (link)
|
I don't understand what you mean by "moving on" is this physically or mentally?
If you give more detail I'd be glad to help you.
|
|
Hello, well I have a little sister and she's 11 nd one time she was online nd she met this boy they starte talking he's 15 nd he told her she was rlly cute nd things like that ; after like 4 weeks off talking all off a sudden my sister nd the boy started messing around nd he seems like a really really nice guy ! He never askes her for nude piks or anything like that.. He seems too respect her nd repsect the decisions she makes he doesn't force her on doing anything nd when he gets mad at her he doesn't curse at her he just stops talking too her for a few hours till he's calm; on the day they met he waiting about 1 hour for her they took piks nd he gave her a tight tight hug.. He told my little sister on how much fun he had nd he's always telling her on how much he ended up liking her. My little sisters friend was trynna get with him n he told er too back off. So I don't know does he really like her ? (link)
|
I agree with the other advicenator, Your sister is ONLY 11 Years old. What the hell is a 15 year old doing with someone that young? Guess what, Reality is people are having sex very young these days and the I can almost promise you that your sister hanging around someone who is 15, Especially a boy with raging hormones has a high chance of being sexually active. I would talk your concerns out with your parents, Why? Give them a heads up. It's a hell of a lot better to express your concerns for your younger sibling then to have something more serious possibly happen. In my opinion, She is WAY to young to be dating boys. Does he like her? Maybe he does....but I still don't understand why he would date or even look at someone who is 11 years old. Maybe it is more on the "Taking advantage of younger girls" type of thing. I mean really...The guy is pathetic and I would let him know to back off.
|
|
Is it normal for your tampon to fall out when your going pee? Mine always seems to. I don't think its a size problem. Maybe its because i'm squeezing it? But i'm not sure how to make it stop. Even if i take a short pee and it comes out a little bit, like say i'm at work, it just feels so annoying. So how can i make it stop? Or should i just change my tampon every time i go pee. (link)
|
It is NOT good to pee while you have a tampon in, You increase the chances of getting infections. UTI, Yeast Infections, Severe Inching and burning etc. I highly suggest you remove the tampon when going to the bathroom and inserting another one afterward.
|
Hello,
Well theres this guy he works with me well he has a gf and he would flirt with me all the time mostly verbal and too be honest i liked it because i have feelings for him but i told him its best we stop flirting because he has a gf.He got angry and he didn't talk to me so we didn't talk for about a week or so then he called me to tell me that his girlfriend found the emails i sent him (which werent bad)she treats him lik crap and all he always whinges about how bad she treats him,so he tells me they broke up and all then the next day they got back but he came up to me saying i dont think we'll talk as much anymore ? though we werent speaking anyways what was the point of him saying.I still like him though im tying to move on and all but can someone explain it too me did he like me or not ? do you think he'll talk to me or come back or not? sorry if its long i'm lost as it is. (link)
|
He could of liked you, but what was the point in flirting with you if he was already in a relationship despite how bad she "treated him"?
For one, Any guy who flirts with another girl and then gets angry with him for telling him to stop because he is currently in a relationship is pathetic. You only know she treated him badly by what HE says, Do you actually know if it was true or not?? If someone is in a relationship and flirting with me I would start to think either they aren't really committed or they just want someone for backup. You were RIGHT for telling him to back off, Not only is this guy in a relationship but it is NOT appropriate for co-workers to be flirting while they are on the job. If he gets mad, Tough! He shouldn't be flirting with co-workers nor anyone in this matter. Next time someone pulls a stunt when in a relationship I would drop one on them (I don't think your girlfriend would appreciate it if we were acting like this) Make them think twice and show them you aren't going to be a fall back. Yes, I would move on don't put your job in jeopardy and don't fall for guys that aren't real.
|
|
basically i wont to wipe clean my laptop like its new but i dont know how with out the disc thig that comes with it (link)
|
Not sure how to fully wipe out the hard drive but here are a few things you could try..
START-ALL PROGRAMS-SYSTEM TOOLS-ACCESSORIES- DISK DEFRAGMENTER
You could also restore your computer (If it is running extremely slow and has a possible virus) by Start-All Programs-Accessories-System Restore
|
Hey :) well I'm 13 and I need help me and my bf have been going out for 8 months were still virgins but we had conversations about havinq sex together should I ? I realy think he is the one ... Oh and sory another question I have gotten fingerd befor but I'm not sure if I still am a virgin am I?? I did not feel much niether did I bleed. My bestfriend told me that mabey it ddnt go all the way in to make my chery pop is sh right?? I need help I need answers please help :)
With love, gata :) (link)
|
You are young, I would highly recommend you wait.
At 13, You should be doing nothing more than kissing and having sex can come with consequences despite how careful you are. Frankly, If you aren't ready to possibly become a parent and raise a baby responsibly then you aren't ready to be having sex.
Should you have sex? My honest answer is no.
People classify the word "virgin" in all different ways, Some people will tell you that being fingered and having an orgasm you have lost your virginity while others will tell you, You are a virgin until you have had intercourse. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin especially at your age. Wait until you are older, You are only 13 years old and I can promise you there will be more guys you date in your time.
|
|
Can you pee with a tampon in? (link)
|
No, Peeing while tampons are inserted leaves you with a high risk of infections.
UTI, Yeast Infections and a lot of other problems.
|
Okay. So. I am fifteen, a girl, gonna be a sophomore. My ex boyfriend (Jake) is seventeen. We had a really unhealthy relationship... He was slightly abusive, I guess it was cause I just let him walk all over me and he started thinking it was okay, and I started thinking it too. He never actually HIT me... It was mostly verbal abuse, like words and stuff and grabbing and what not. It did leave a few bruises. It was kind of scary though. He would hold me down and force me to say "yes sir" and "you're the boss" and stuff like that. He was really into power. That's basically why we broke up.
Since we've been broken up I've been trying very hard to distance myself from him. And since I have I've realized how much I've let him change me. And now I'm a lot stronger and I think that's the only thing keeping me from going back to him. My friends have been amazing, they were upset I had never told them about the horrible things he did but they completely understand and they have been here for me this entire time. Including me falling for a new boy... Matt. Matt is awesome. He is sooo different from Jake which is perfect. He's sweet and caring, and respectful and he's been a really good friend through all of this too. Problem is, he has some serious problems with Jake. When Jake and I broke up Matt was there for me just like my friends and since then we've started to develop feelings for each other that are more than friendship. He hates Jake for what he's done to me.
Jake says he doesn't want me back but he's STILL possessive even though we aren't dating. He saw me with Matt the other day and yelled at me right in front of him. Matt was infuriated. He kept quiet while I was standing up for myself but Jake got a little too close and I guess I got scared because I started going back to what I did while we were dating. Matt got pissed, shoved Jake off and said "Why do you take shit from him??" Which made Jake mad and they almost started a fight in the middle of a party. They cooled down but I just don't know if I can do this...
I'm scared they are gonna start a fight or something. I don't know if I can handle either of them getting hurt, I'd feel so horrible. But I can't just tell Jake to stop. I can't. I've never been able to. But I don't want to cut things off with Matt cause I REALLY like him. I just don't know what to do. I don't want problems... I just don't know how to make everyone okay. So please tell me how to fix all of this... with the least amount of shit stirring hahaha.
(link)
|
You need to let an adult know what your ex is doing, This is a case of abuse and harassment and it's wrong. It's good that you are standing up for yourself, Don't ever ever let a guy knock you down and think he has power over you. I would also try to avoid Jake as much as possible. If you haven't already cut complete contact with him, Focus on Matt he is your new relationship and should be your focus. Fighting with your ex is not going to solve anything, It will make matters worse. Tell Jake to stop, Tell him if he doesn't stop then you will tell an adult. Step up to the plate, He no longer has power over you and don't let him think he does. If he pulls another stunt, TELL SOMEONE. What he is doing is wrong.
|
Okay, so I've known this guy for about a year and we became friends with the intentions of hooking up. A year later, we still talk ALL the time and we've hooked up one other time since then with the occasional sext. He moved about four hours away and I moved away to college so we are about 8 hours away so I don't see him often. My problem is I want to know if this is considered a booty call or not because he still chooses to talk to me. I know he talks to other girls and he has had sex with others over the course of the year and he could easily just be talking to them as often as with me...He hasn't been in a real long-term relationship so that's why I would assume it's just a booty call.
But, at the same time, we've talked about things other than sex before and he's randomly confided things he's upset about at the time or what's going on in his life in the course of a year, which is the same with me. We also do flirt a lot. And, last night, he told me was coming to visit home and I agreed to hang out with him and he replied, "Okay, it's a date" which he has never done before.
I just want to know what's going on inside his head because I don't understand the effort he puts into talking to me if I'm just a booty call. We are so far away, and we could easily not see each other again. We only do because of his occasional visit, which is so rare so I don't see the point in talking to me everyday.
On my part, I really care about him as a friend, and maybe more, but I really don't know if I see us in a relationship together. But that could easily change if he liked me. (link)
|
A Booty call? - Yes
Friends with benefits? - Yes
Fuck buddy? - Yes
All of the above.
|
|
I was with a guy for 2 years and it didnt work out because 3 months into our relationship someone told him i cheated on him. we tried to make it work but in the end it didnt work out. i know my so called "cheating" wasnt the only problem but we had other problems couples do thanks to him thinking i cheated. i couldnt tell him that i didnt cheat because the people who told him i cheated were all in on it. i had no evidence to prove i was right and so much behind me that i figured to just act like i did and see what happens. dumb idea. we should have just broken up and left it at that but we both didnt. for 2 years i let him believe i cheated. the girl now messaged me apologizing for the rumor she started. i have her apology in an email so i know i can prove that i didnt cheat now. but my ex and i have been broken up for 4 months now, should i tell him the truth or not. he just turned 22, im 20. (link)
|
You could try to tell the truth, If you think it's worth the time and effort. However, To some people 4 months is a long time and feelings for someone over the course of those months can start to fade and in time we start to move on. I'm not saying this is the case on your part but it very well could be on his. Do you know what he is up too these days? Also, One thing that comes to my mind is IF you two did decide to date again I think you two might want to sit down and discuss where you to stand in the aspect of trust. Your relationship ended because he chose to believe others over you. No matter what or how perfect your relationships may seem there is always someone that is going to think otherwise. You and your spouse need to learn to except the fact that there will be criticism and ignore it. This girl that started the rumor, Save the email but at the same time IGNORE her. A fresh start if you two were to date again means ignoring all the drama if you have to ignore everyone who was "in" on breaking your relationship up and start fresh. If they were "friends" well I hate to tell you but friends do not back stab other friends.
|
|
I've been dating my girl for 6 months now, and I'm so in love with her.. but before me, she hooked up with a lot of guys and wasn't a great kid.. but then she met me and became an angel. i've done everything with this girl, and she promised me i was the first to finger her, eat her out and i was the first she gave a blow job too (sorry if this is too detailed) but then her ex boyfriend told me other wise.. and there is a rumor that she gave another dude head, and had sex with him, and that she gave another guy head. i've never cheated on her and i'm in love with her, i give her everything she wants. she tells me to put her on a lie detector test, so what should i do? believe her? or rumors?? (link)
|
We can't tell you whether your girlfriend is lying or telling the truth, You should ask her.
I can give you some facts..
Most girls, Do not wait very long to become sexually active with their partner.
This is where you ask yourself, How long was she dating her ex?...Is she a trust worthy person?..and REALLY think about that one.
You may never know the true answer, You can ask her but that doesn't mean she has to be honest about it as some girls just tell a guy what they want to hear. If her EX boyfriend told you otherwise...Well I would be iffy...Does he want her back?..Do they still talk?...It could be maybe he just said it because he knew it would get to you?
The question is, Do you trust your girlfriend?...I think you should be talking to HER about this one. None of us can tell you if she is lying or not...It's just one of those things you need to trust her on but again you may never get the real truth.
|
|
Well lets start off by sayin I'm lesbian and I'm 18. I have a huge problem I've dated a lot of people my age but I found this girl that is also gay but is 4 yrs younger than me. I think I'm falling for her she's everything I look for in a girl not looks but personality. The problem is how can I ever make it work because I think its against the law to date anyone under the age of 18 when u are 18 or older.People have told me maybe I should wait but its hard. I don't wanna lose what I have for her. And by the time she's old enough we prolly won't be friends. I honestly think she's the one never had that feeling for someone. I need help what should I do!? (link)
|
You need to move on, She is a 14 year old child. At 14 she probably is in a phase. It IS illegal for someone over the age of 18 to date someone who is a minor and if you ever do and get caught there could be serious consequences. You can wait, However I would again remind yourself she is just a child and is exploring her sexuality. It is not only illegal to date someone under 18 but it is VERY WRONG.
|
|