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abusive ex, protective new boy, not good :/
Okay. So. I am fifteen, a girl, gonna be a sophomore. My ex boyfriend (Jake) is seventeen. We had a really unhealthy relationship... He was slightly abusive, I guess it was cause I just let him walk all over me and he started thinking it was okay, and I started thinking it too. He never actually HIT me... It was mostly verbal abuse, like words and stuff and grabbing and what not. It did leave a few bruises. It was kind of scary though. He would hold me down and force me to say "yes sir" and "you're the boss" and stuff like that. He was really into power. That's basically why we broke up.
Since we've been broken up I've been trying very hard to distance myself from him. And since I have I've realized how much I've let him change me. And now I'm a lot stronger and I think that's the only thing keeping me from going back to him. My friends have been amazing, they were upset I had never told them about the horrible things he did but they completely understand and they have been here for me this entire time. Including me falling for a new boy... Matt. Matt is awesome. He is sooo different from Jake which is perfect. He's sweet and caring, and respectful and he's been a really good friend through all of this too. Problem is, he has some serious problems with Jake. When Jake and I broke up Matt was there for me just like my friends and since then we've started to develop feelings for each other that are more than friendship. He hates Jake for what he's done to me.
Jake says he doesn't want me back but he's STILL possessive even though we aren't dating. He saw me with Matt the other day and yelled at me right in front of him. Matt was infuriated. He kept quiet while I was standing up for myself but Jake got a little too close and I guess I got scared because I started going back to what I did while we were dating. Matt got pissed, shoved Jake off and said "Why do you take shit from him??" Which made Jake mad and they almost started a fight in the middle of a party. They cooled down but I just don't know if I can do this...
I'm scared they are gonna start a fight or something. I don't know if I can handle either of them getting hurt, I'd feel so horrible. But I can't just tell Jake to stop. I can't. I've never been able to. But I don't want to cut things off with Matt cause I REALLY like him. I just don't know what to do. I don't want problems... I just don't know how to make everyone okay. So please tell me how to fix all of this... with the least amount of shit stirring hahaha.
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You need to let an adult know what your ex is doing, This is a case of abuse and harassment and it's wrong. It's good that you are standing up for yourself, Don't ever ever let a guy knock you down and think he has power over you. I would also try to avoid Jake as much as possible. If you haven't already cut complete contact with him, Focus on Matt he is your new relationship and should be your focus. Fighting with your ex is not going to solve anything, It will make matters worse. Tell Jake to stop, Tell him if he doesn't stop then you will tell an adult. Step up to the plate, He no longer has power over you and don't let him think he does. If he pulls another stunt, TELL SOMEONE. What he is doing is wrong.
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