Hey there. Ask away whatever you want answered and I'll do my best. Please avoid unconventional capitalization and spelling - it makes the questions harder to read and so I'm less likely to answer.
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Gender: Female
Location: Wandering
Member Since: September 23, 2004
Answers: 144
Last Update: May 31, 2009
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When I get really upset I sometimes tend to cut myself.....on my rist. Lately I have been really sad and have been crying myself to sleep almost every night. I cut myself and I don't know why. Its like it takes away the pain of everything else and replaces it with the pain of cutting my rist. Its not like i'm trying to kill myself or anything, it just seems to kind of.....calm me down. My friends can't stand it when I do that, but its like I can't stop. I know I need to though. Is there any way you can help me? (link)
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I can't say why you actually cut. It really sounds like that last thing you want from it is attention, so my guess is that there's something not quite balanced or clicked in your brain chemicals. Don't get me wrong, if it's something in your head, it's NOT YOUR FAULT so don't blame yourself. I would advise telling your parents, or an adult you trust, someone from church, school, somewhere. They should be able to get you the right kind of help.
Yes, cutting can take the pain of the world away because it causes your body to release natural painkillers to deal with the pain of the cut. There are probably other chemicals released when you do that to yourself but I'm not an expert so I don't know the details.
You said that it's when you get upset that you seem to start cutting...some people use forms of self injury as a way to deal with stress. Even though it's more common than people might think, it's not a healthy way to deal with stress. Someone with training in that field can help you find a way that will work for you to deal with stress.
Now, about it hurting your friends. Remember when you do it that it probably hurts them more than they let on. They probably care about you a lot and want you to be okay and cutting often scares people, since it is a warning sign of suicidal behavior. Even if you're not planning/trying to kill yourself, the fact that it's a warning sign freaks people out. If you can, put yourself in their place, you see a friend cutting. Think about how you would feel, your reactions. They probably have a lot of the same ones.
The best advice I can offer on stopping is a) get help if possible (ASAP) and b) when you cut, or before you start, think about your friends.
Good luck.
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i cut myself and i hate it so much i dont know hwo to stop it is so addictive and i dotn talk to peopel who reayl understand how i feel im scared because me and my mom are best friends and i tell her everything but ever since i started getting realy upset and cutting myself i find it hard to tell her anything i know she is worried btu she has o clue i am cutting myself my realy close firend nows that i cut myself with a rubber band i told her becasue i wanted to see what she said btu she asked if i have ever REALY cut myslef adn i lied to her i just want to be happy and no depressed thanxs i hope you can help (link)
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Um..you have a couple options. One of which is to "accidently" let you mom find out what you're doing. Another is to tell her, and ask if you can get help from a psychologist. If you're cutting, there's a good chance there's a deeper reason and you don't need meds or anything, you can probably get a good start with just talking to someone professional.
If you want to start stopping on your own, I've known people who fought really hard not to keep cutting and they started snapping rubber bands on their wrists instead. Don't snap it constantly in the same spot so it actually cuts the skin, snap it in different places so that it will hurt but won't cut.
Sorry I'm out of other suggestions for help...
good luck and I hope one of these suggestions might at least help you to start stopping.
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how do you make livejournal icons? (link)
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I use adobe photoshop 2.0
when you click 'new' make the icon 100 x 100
do whatever you want with pictures and words and then save it as a .gif file (this is done under the "save for web" option in file).
then just upload it under "your pics" on lj and there you go!
Also, if you want to animate something, there's an option for that under the save for web button.
have fun making icons!
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F/15 I think I am suffering from depression, Im not talking about "I not myself today" kind of sad, but I have felt like this for a long time. I feel abbandoned and angry at myself for being a failure. I feel like everyone who I was ever close to has left me and I have no one to talk to. All of my close friends are gone and I only have a few friends that i really dont know that well. I having a hard time dealing with the deaths of several classmates and I have been thinking about death alot lately, I want to see a therapist or a doctor, but I am terriffied to talk to my parents...they see me as perfect because I am the oldest and they have such high expectations for me. How can I talk to my parents about recieving treatment?
-Scared and Alone (link)
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You're parents don't have to know if you get help. You can get help from your school psychologist and unless they feel that you're in danger of hurting yourself others.
Perhaps you could ask your school psychologist if you could have a meeting with him/her, yourself and your parents and explain how you feel and see if something can't be done to make you feel better.
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is it normal to get really down during the winter time as opposed to summer?
just curious. (link)
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Yeah, but being down doesn't mean you're deperessed. It's natural that people slow down and feel tired and down more when the weather is like it is in winter, cloudy, grey out etc.
Of course, if you think there might be something more than that wrong, you could have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) which just means that when the days are darker you feel more down and sad and sunny days tend to bring your mood up. I'm not a doctor or anything, but you can look up more info about SAD online or talk to parents or your doctor next time you go in if you think that you might have SAD.
Just so you don't get worried, SAD doesn't generally have the same effects as depression (self-injury, suicidal thoughts, pushing friends away etc) it just means that your mood kind of swings with the weather.
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I'm pretty tall (5'9) and have long legs, but my problem is that they have all these ugly scars on them from when I was younger and used to scratch my mosquito bites, so I rarely wear shorts or small skirts and am pretty much always in long pants. Is there any way to make the scars go away? I'm so sick of them.
(15/F) (link)
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Try using vitimin E in a liquid form. You can just rub it over the scars and it'll take a while, but the scars will lighten.
I know it's a few years out, but the other option is to have them taken off through laser surgery when you turn 18.
good luck!
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Okay, my mom is practiclly forcing me to go to homecoming. I really don't want to go, because I don't have a date, and theres no guy I would feel comfortable going with. But the problem is that she already saved up all this money for a dress and accessories and shoes and she is looking at things like hairstylists. I don't know how to tell her that I just don't care and that I don't want to go. Help me please!! I rate high!
(link)
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Well...if your school has a formal/semi-formal dance later in the year that you could go to with just a group of friends, one that you'd want to go to, maybe you could tell your mom that. Tell her you'd like to use the money for a dance you really do care about going to and looking nice.
It'll probably be hard for her to hear that, but I think if you really think about what you want to say, how you're going to say it, and if you don't blow up at her over it, then I think you can probably at least make her listen to you.
I guess if you really wanted to think ahead to something you might really want to spend it on you could say that you'd like to make your senior prom dance a really big and expensive thing.
Obviously, I don't know how your mother will react to any of this that you might choose to tell her, but I'm just throwing out suggestions.
:)
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The other day I did about 25 situps and now my stomach in the abdomen area is sore. Is this normal??
Thanks ahead of time. (link)
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Yup, it's normal. The muscles just aren't used to that kind of work yet, if you keep doing them (probably in smaller sets) the muscles will get used to it and will stop being sore. Be careful doing more for the next couple days so the muscles don't get more inflamed, and taking a couple painkillers that both numb the pain and bring down the inflamation wouldn't hurt. It might not be a bad idea to do 10-15 situps every other day for a week or so, just to give the muscles time to adjust to the work out, and you can build up in quantity slowly as they get used to it.
:)
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Everyone at my school is calling me fat! The last time I checked the scale I weighed 144 pounds! But I gain weekly! I hate my weight! I am very self consious and I've tryed diets but they haven't been working. So lately I have been making myself throw up after very meal! Is it really that harmful? This seems like my last resourt! What should I do! My friends are worrying sick about me! The only thing wrong with this is that it makes me feel kindly weak! But mostly when I get hot or something! What should I do? (link)
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What you're doing is making becoming bulimic, and yes, it's serious. There's a good number of teens who suffer from it, and there are ways to reverse it.
It's serious enough that there's the chance that you could end up in the hospital. Also, you're starving yourself of proper nutrition, and your body can't function with no nutrition, nutrition that you eat and then throw up again.
The other thing about forcing yourself to throw up is that it's bad for your teeth. The acid from your stomach eats away at your teeth and the result is cavities that need to be filled.
If you want to lose weight, your best option is to talk to your parents or a doctor and go on a monitored diet.
luck
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okay. i went to a church thing last weekend and me and some guys shared a drink, all of our drinks got switdhed up.. etc. i think i ahve mono. b/c i have been really tired... and i have been going to bed early, and i have had headeaches, and my throat / glands have benn hurting. do i have it? please help.. i rate high.
* please dont delte (link)
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There is a very high chance you have mono. Go to the doctor, and soon. Your throat will swell and it will be very painful to eat anything, let alone swollow the meds they'll put you on. Also, be prepared to possibly miss school for about a week or more.
Luck, get better soon.
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There's this girl named Maria. She's a good friend of mine, and today she got in deep trouble with our Health teacher because she gave answers to someone else, and hes failing her for the marking period with a 50. She said she's tried to commit suicide before, and she's going to do it again. Should I tell somebody? Thanks. =] (link)
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YES! Tell someone, and make sure it's someone of authority who can actually help her.
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is 13 too young to get married. i mean yeah it is but like i mean if you really felt you were ready could someone marry u without a parents consent. or even with one (link)
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I believe it's illegal anywhere to get married at 13 without a parents consent. There are one or two states that you can get married in with a parents consent at 13, BUT only if you're a girl. Guys have to be at least 14 and it still has to be with a parents consent.
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Hey, I have Insomnia. Every night I'm up late trying to sleep. I've tried everything!!! Reading, singing, counting sheep(lol), and I don't drink that much soda. Please tell me what's wrong,b ecause I've been tired lately and I'm getting bags under my eys. (link)
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Hey, I used to have the same problem. It took a rather long time to get over it, but 2 things I found to at least help me relax enough to get SOME sleep were:
1) running freezing water on your wrists for a few minutes before you go to bed. I think it like slows down the blood to more of the pace it should be when you're sleeping.
2) White Chestnut. It's a liquid that basically has well, white chestnut extract in it. There's something about the extract that helps you relax. You can get it at co-ops, it's usually over in the medication/natural remedy section.
Just another thought that might work, a spin off of the reading: pick something really boring to read (I used my algebra textbook, that sure put me to sleep)
If this gets really bad, or continues even after you try everything you can think of, tell you parents and ask them to make a doctor's appoinment for you. The dr.s can probably give you something that just plain knocks you out for a while.
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I have been having theese problems I mean every thing schoolparents boys and I have been cutting myself for about a year and it is really bothering me at school I will go to the bathroom and just carve a knife into my leg and I want to stop but I jsut cant I tried to but I couldnt plz help me (link)
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Ok. First of all, doesnt' you school have a rule about having weapons in school? if so, why do you have a knife or anything sharp enough to cut youself deeply at school?
Second. In light of the "no weapons" rule, if you can make it through the school day, it would be a start to stopping. If you know you can't stop on your own, it's time to bring someone else into the picture. if you have a friend, or friends you KNOW for you can trust 100% tell them, and/or go to a counsler at school, or a teacher you can trust. Explain what's going on, why you've been doing what you're doing. Tell them that you dont' want your parents involved, if that's what you want. The poing is, get someone who can help you involved, cue them in on what's going on. If you can admit something..."Admitting is the first step to recovery." You already see it's a problem, and you want to stop. Go you sweetie. You've gotten to the point of addiction, I'm sorry to say.
One more little thing: parents I can def. see being a problem, school the same ( you may want to see if you can talk to any of your teachers about that...) but the boys, don't worry about them.
Good luck.
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Ok im aditioning for a school play and everytime a start to say my lines infront of my teacher i get so nervouse, shaky, and i just freeze and/or forget my lines. Can someone please tell me some ways how to calm myself and someways to remember my lines better? thankyou all very much, i rate good! (link)
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Mmk. To start, just work on the memorization. Once you have the lines down really well, then start practicing in front of a mirror, and make sure you look AT the mirror, not at the floor or other places. Stare yourself in the face as you say your lines. Once you can do that without stumbling, try it in front of your closest friend, or parents, a sibling, someone who can give you feedback about if you need to slow down, or pronunciate more etc. Once you're ok in front of one or 2 people, try it in front of a larger group, just keep building up the number of people you're talking in front of. If you talk in front of people who are listening to you so they can help you, then it's like having someone judge you for a tryout.
best of luck.
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I'm getting my braces off in about a month. I just wanna kno what it's like, if it hurts or not, stuff like that, so if u ever got ur braces off, tell me what happens and does it hurt?
Thx.
Much love,
Erin (link)
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How much it hurts depends on your own pain tolerance. Mine, didn't hurt at all when I got them off. It does feel a tiny bit like they're trying (not very hard) to pull your teeth out. Mind you, the pulling is just getting the bands off the back teeth, the rest with just the brackets don't hurt at all. Beware the sound of the metal tools scraping at your teeth though, as well as the next dentist appointment being LONG as they try to remove all the excess cememnt the orthodontist DIDN'T get off. But really, it's all worth it, to get them off and not have to worry about what you can eat.
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i want to become a dancer and i dont know what to do. does anyone know where to go to persue my dreams. i rate extremely high. pleez and thank you. (link)
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First off, just a heads up: a dancer's life isn't easy. It's great being onstage, and just dancing, but it involves a sacrifice on your part. Be prepared to spend hours at a studio, probably more than one day a week, and depending on what kind of dance you want to do, possibly some physical pain. Being a ballet dancer, I'm speaking from the point from which you get blisters so bad that it's hard to walk. However, if you really want to be a dancer, then that will not put you off. Any and all pain you go through is suddenly worth it once you're onstage, showing off what you can do.
As for starting, pick what kind of dance you want to do, then look around for studios that offer classes in that area of dance. Don't go with the first one you find, see a few different ones, and chose the one you like best that suits what you're looking for. Trying a few studios might be necessary, and before you sign up for classes, go and watch a class there, to see how challenging it will be. The other thing to be aware of is if you want to be a dancer, you have to be careful about what else you do. If you hurt a muscle, or break a bone, you're really going to lose skills you've built up, and have to start back at the base again.
It's hard, from what I've heard, to make your way as just a dancer. However, talk to your parent/guardian, and see if they can give you any other ideas, or if they know anyone who can help you beyond what folks here can say.
Best of luck, and don't worry about being top right away. It'll come to you.
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Hey..my room is kind of big, but it's so boring! The walls aren't white, thankfully, but there's no where for my friends to sit when we hang out and it's not a really fun enviorment. Does anyone have any ideas on making my room more upbeat, inviting, or cool? Thanks! (link)
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I'd go for the lava lamp for sure. Actually, any kind of small, fun colored light would work well. Also, large pillows and fuzzy rugs for the floor would work nicely. As for other stuff, if you want, put the glow-in-the-dark stars on your walls/ceiling, and get some colorful curtains for the windows, maybe some kind of thing for over the door, like those strings of beads or something like that. If you want to try something on the walls, I'd recomend painting it all one color, like a base, then paint whatever you want on it, like, little designs, or if you're really into art then go for a bigger picture. If you have a corner you don't mind have words in, make it like a "friends corner" and have them all write something silly on the wall, and then sign it. Posters work well too, and leave an open space in the middle of the floor, with at least one corner open as well for putting pillows or a chair or something in.
Have a great time decorating!
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14 f, i'm in high school and i'm not that happy. sometimes i think its really fun but sometimes i just feel like crying. people say high school is supposed to be the funnest part of you life.... please help (link)
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Freshman year huh? (Just based on age). Well, people told me that too, high school is supposed to be all fun and games. It's not, sad as it is. My freshman year, I was pretty much depressed 24-7. Of course, my teachers think their students have no life outside of school...Don't worry about it too much, only lucky, carefree people who've never been lonely at all, or never had ANYTHING bad happen to them have a great high school career. If you're at a new school, then that's probably adding to why you feel unhappy sometimes. Stick with your friends, you should be able to find SOMETHING good about school with them :-) If you can get time, suggest that you and your friends go out somewhere after school one night and just hang out, if you feel like it, complian about your problems to each other and see if you can find amusment in them (there's usually something funny you can find).
Anyway, don't listen to what people say about high school being great, it's like really loud music wont' hurt your ears if you listen to it all the time...it's not true. High school is has MISERY written all over it, in bright red, big capital letters. Best thing you can do with it is laugh at it. "If you can't change it, laugh at it"
Best of luck, hope the year gets better.
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I always look too young. I'm a junior and everyone around me looks like they're a junior- but I could be confused with a freshman! I have brown never died hair thats like 6 inches longer than my shoulder with bangs that sweep to the side kinda across my eye. Any suggestions on hair? also, I have brown eyes so if u know ne ways to do my make up that'd be great too! I need to look older! Oh and- how can i dress to look older? Thanks so much! I RATE! (link)
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Don't worry about LOOKING a certain age. It's more about how you act, and talk. I'm in 10th grade, and I've had people ask me if I'm 12 and people ask me what collage I go to!
About actually changing your looks....well, I suppose makeup works, but I think it makes you look kinda fake, depending on how well it's applied and how much and what colors are used. Hair, just don't put it in braids, it makes you look about 3-4 years younger. Try braiding it, then twisting it up in a bun, you might need either some sort of hair sticks (of course, my friend uses pens to do her hair rather like this so....) or bobby pins to hold the braid in place, and a binder to put around it after it's all wrapped up. Also, let your bangs grow would be another thing. (If you let your hair get long and don't like it, cut it. If you cut it short and don't like it....well, too bad, can't undo that one :-) )
sorry, I'm not MUCH of a style expert, I just do hair for the most part. well, good luck!
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